Chapter Fourteen #3
It’s agonizing knowing I’m the cause.
“Olly,” I whisper, our backs to the bed.
He turns his head to mine. “I miscalculated…” His voice is tender, soft comfort. The opposite of his gaze. “I miscalculated what he means to you.”
My heart lurches. “B-but you knew I was talking to him?”
His eyes redden. “I didn’t know you were telling him our history. Our secrets.”
“She hasn’t told me everything.” Jake defends me, his stance full of warning. He’s telling Oliver not to get angry with me.
Oliver would never.
He glances up since Jake remains standing, and yet, there’s no power imbalance. Even on the floor, Oliver appears as tall as Jake. No puffed chests or mock display of male dominance. They’re both too comfortable in their skin to put on airs.
Oliver slips the hairpin out of his mouth.
“You misread me, Koning. I wasn’t asking Hailey to take every secret of ours to the grave.
I wouldn’t punish her for sharing cons we pulled, aliases we made, or even our deepest, darkest fears.
I’m just shocked she found anyone, even you, worthy enough to know them at all. ”
Jake nods slowly in realization. “You thought it was just sex.”
Oh God.
“But it is just sex,” I say, and their heads whip to me so fast that my pulse skyrockets.
Confused lines crease both their faces. “It is. Jake, you’ve made it clear you can’t date anyone because Trent seeks out your girlfriends like a prize.
Olly, you’ve never done relationships. And I would be a disaster at them.
So, yes, it’s just sex. This isn’t serious. ” My exhale comes out winded.
“Okay.” Oliver points the hairpin at me. “But I don’t typically talk to the guys you ‘just have sex’ with. No more than you make conversation with my flings. So, what’s this…?” He twirls his finger around the room.
“This is different,” Jake explains more to me than to Oliver since they seem to be finding the same track.
I’m the one off course.
Oliver analyzes my expression for a second.
“You have to know this is different.” I do know I’ve been telling Jake too much.
I do know why. “You aren’t fooling yourself, are you?
” He tips his knees into mine lightly, like we’re teenagers sharing a clandestine moment again, but he is so much more a man now. It’s almost distracting. Time and age.
“No,” I whisper. “I’m not.”
“Then why are you so afraid to like him?” His eyes graze over my furrowing brows, my flushing cheeks, my parting lips. “Or were you just afraid to tell me?”
His words pummel me. Emotion swells my chest. My throat is raw. “Both, maybe,” I say so softly.
Oliver nods a couple times, letting this sink in. Then he elbows my arm, recapturing my gaze to say, “I’m glad I know.”
“Don’t go. I don’t want anything to change,” I say rapidly, panicked that Oliver thinks I’m falling so deeply for Jake that I’d rather be with him. And it’s not—it’s not true. I don’t think about the baby. How this life inside of me will choose for me anyway.
We’re not there yet. We’re here. Right now, and I selfishly want to maintain our status quo.
Oliver wraps an arm around me and angles his body so I can see his face. He dips his head down like we’re sharing a quiet, furtive corner that no one can invade. “I don’t want you to be afraid to live, Hailey. Not because of me. All we have is now. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.”
I make a concerted effort not to snake my arms around my belly. “I’m more afraid to live without you,” I whisper back.
“Am I going somewhere?” He tilts my chin up, and I meet his reassuring eyes again. Sparkle has returned to them.
Then Oliver rolls up to his feet and holds out his hand to Jake. “Let’s try this again, shall we? I’m Oliver Graves. I’d say at your service, but you’re going to be at mine.” It’s the same line he used on Jake months ago. This time, there is no smirk or accompanying wink.
Jake shakes, tension in both their forearms.
My widened eyes ping back and forth between them.
“How am I at your service when you just watched Hailey blow me?” Jake questions, releasing his grip. “Seems like you’re at mine.”
“Should we discuss power dynamics? I was invited here. She invited me.” He bites back on the hairpin and rests his shoulders on the bedpost, crossing his arms loosely. “I can keep helping jog your memory, Koning boy. Mine is bulletproof.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.” Jake nods, his arms threading more tensely over his chest. “Help jog the part where you got hard while you were watching us.”
I don’t move.
Oliver smirks with a light laugh. “I was about sixty percent sure you were staring at my slight erection. I appreciate you making it a one hundred percent certainty.” He golf-claps. Not mockingly, just somewhat entertained.
“Slight erection, okay.” Jake nods harder. “Sure.”
“You want me to whip it out so you can measure it, too?” Oliver teases the hem of his khaki slacks. “I look better in the nude anyway.”
Jake slides a frustrated hand through his hair, then gestures to him. “Are you flirting with me?”
“I flirt with everyone.” He shifts the hairpin with his tongue. “It’s my biggest character flaw.”
I look up at him. “That could be a true fact if it weren’t an opinion.”
“Subjective opinions,” Oliver laments. “My least favorite.” He sinks back on the bed. “We prefer facts, don’t we, Hailstorm?”
I’m just openly watching them stare each other down, and I can’t recall ever seeing Oliver this confrontational outside of a job.
“Jake likes facts, too,” I say unhelpfully.
“I have one for you,” Oliver says to Jake, bowing forward. Elbows on his thighs, hands cupped. “I came here to fuck Hailey to exhaust her enough so she can sleep. Just like I have most nights.”
“Olly,” I groan, bringing the pages of my book to my forehead.
Jake expels a harsh noise, a deep frown forming. “Like a sleeping aid?”
“Exactly like a sleeping aid.” Oliver slips the hairpin behind his ear, then rests his hands casually backward on the bed.
Oh my God! I touch my fingers to my temples. This isn’t real. But I feel the soft rug underneath my knees, grounding myself. This is no hallucination.
I lower the book. “It’s not as bad as it seems,” I interject quickly.
Oliver sizes up Jake. “You’re angry I’m helping Hailey—”
“At how you’re helping her,” Jake retorts, running two hot hands through his hair. “Have you consulted a professional?”
I cut in. “I did tell my doctor I use sex to sleep. She didn’t say to stop.”
Oliver motions a hand to me. “Healthy.”
Jake glares. “She should consult another doctor.”
“Is it the fact that she’s having sex to sleep or having sex with me to sleep and not you that’s an issue for you?”
Jake intakes a heavy breath, and he shakes his head like maybe he’s unsure.
Oliver leans forward again. “Look, I’m pretending to be a licensed therapist. I’m not actually one.
Maybe it’s not healthy. Maybe it is. We’ll never know because we can’t divulge our entire pasts to professionals.
We live in the bed we’ve created for ourselves.
” He opens his arms. “We’re all fucked-up.
Either accept it or move on.” I hear Move on from her.
I can’t breathe.
Jake and Oliver talk through their eyes. I can barely read where their heads are at, which only heightens my worry. I never wanted to hurt either of them.
Oliver nods toward me. “There’s a reason she told you the origins of her name but didn’t tell you I was giving her orgasms as a sleeping aid.”
Jake looks to me for answers.
“I didn’t think you’d approve.”
“I don’t,” Jake says. “But I’m obviously not going to stop you.”
“How is that obvious?” Oliver asks.
“Because I’m not going anywhere. As long as Hailey wants me here, I’m here.”
“Something we have in common then,” Oliver declares.
I close my book with a loud thud. “And if I want you both here?” I look between them. “What happens then?”