10. Chapter Ten #2
I hate myself for putting them there.
“I despise you, Luca.”
Her voice wavers.
“You make me feel sick. You make me want to tear out my hair.”
She takes one shaking breath.
“Every time I look at you, all I feel is regret.”
Something inside my chest fractures.
“You make me angry. You confuse me. You make me feel things I don’t want to feel, and then you punish me for feeling them.”
I don’t know what to say.
I’m angry.
Hurt.
Ashamed.
I’ve found a new way to injure her because I don’t know how to handle anything I feel.
She keeps telling me how much she hates me.
And all I can think about is kissing her.
I don’t want her to hate me.
I don’t want another man touching her.
I don’t want to keep pretending the pull between us exists only in my imagination.
I move toward her.
One step.
Then another.
Her breath catches, but she doesn’t retreat.
I lift one hand toward her face, then stop before touching her.
The last five years hang between us.
So does the alcohol she drank tonight.
“Tell me to stop.”
Her eyes search mine.
“I’m not drunk,” she says.
“You’ve been drinking.”
“I know who you are.”
Her voice is steady now.
“And I know what I want.”
“What do you want?”
“You.”
The word destroys the last of my restraint.
Still, I don’t close the distance.
I give her one final chance to change her mind.
Simone reaches for my shirt, fists the fabric, and pulls my mouth to hers.
The kiss is violent from the first second.
Her lips crash against mine, and blood roars in my ears, drowning everything except the feel of her.
Her mouth is soft.
Warm.
Hungry.
For one stunned moment, I can’t move.
Then I kiss her back.
Five years of denial break apart inside me.
My hand curves around the back of her neck. My fingers slide into her hair as I claim her mouth with a need that steals every breath from my lungs.
Simone gasps against me.
The sound tears through what remains of my control.
I deepen the kiss, sliding my tongue against hers and tasting tequila and something sweeter.
She presses against me, both hands gripping my shirt as though she’s afraid I might disappear.
We separate for less than a breath.
Then we’re kissing again.
Messy.
Desperate.
Starved.
My hands move to her waist.
Her hips.
The curve of her ass.
She moans into my mouth, and I need to hear the sound again.
I lift her.
She immediately wraps both legs around my waist.
Her trust in that movement nearly destroys me.
I carry her back toward the car without breaking the kiss.
My mouth moves over hers while one hand supports her and the other opens the driver’s door.
I slide into the seat with her straddling my lap and pull the door closed.
The moment we’re enclosed inside, the kiss turns filthy.
Her hands move through my hair. My name falls from her lips between kisses.
“Luca.”
The sound is breathless and needy.
My cock hardens painfully beneath my jeans.
Her dress has ridden high over her thighs. Black lace brushes my fingers when my hand slides along her hip.
She tugs my hair and rolls against me.
The first grind sends a bolt of pleasure through my body.
“Fuck.”
My hands close around her waist.
She moves again, aligning herself with the hard length trapped beneath my jeans.
I want to be inside her.
The need is immediate and nearly mindless.
But she’s been drinking.
And I’m sober.
I tighten my grip on her hips and stop her.
Her breathing is ragged.
“What?”
“We aren’t having sex tonight.”
Confusion flickers across her face.
“You said—”
“I said I want you.”
I press my forehead against hers.
“I didn’t say I’m willing to wake up tomorrow wondering whether you would have made the same choice sober.”
Her eyes hold mine.
“I would.”
“Tell me tomorrow.”
Her expression softens for a second.
Then she rolls her hips again, slower this time.
“But you aren’t stopping this.”
It isn’t a question.
I slide my hand to her jaw and make her look at me.
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No.”
“Do you want this?”
“Yes.”
The answer is clear.
Immediate.
“Say it.”
“I want this, Luca.”
My control snaps again.
“Then take what I give you.”
I pull her mouth back to mine and guide her hips forward.
She grinds against me, the friction brutal through our clothes.
A moan leaves her.
My lips move along her jaw and down her throat.
“You want me to fuck you?”
She nods.
“Not tonight.”
I suck the skin above her collarbone.
“But you can come like this.”
Her fingers dig into my shoulders.
“Ride me.”
She obeys.
Her hips move faster, chasing the pressure beneath her. I guide every roll, driving upward against her until our breathing fills the car.
The windows begin to fog.
I slip two fingers beneath the waistband of her underwear at her hip and tug the lace before letting it snap gently against her skin.
She shudders.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.”
My voice sounds wrecked.
“Do you know what you look like right now?”
Her mouth finds mine again.
“Tell me.”
“Warm. Wet. Desperate.”
I thrust upward.
Her breath breaks.
“About to come from grinding against me.”
Her nails rake across my shoulders.
I catch her lower lip between my teeth, then soothe it with my tongue.
She moves faster.
Her forehead falls against mine.
“Luca…”
“That’s it.”
One hand moves beneath the edge of her dress and closes around her ass. The other traces her spine before cupping her breast through the thin fabric.
Her rhythm falters.
I pinch her nipple gently.
She gasps.
“Look at me.”
Her eyes open.
Gold circles the dark centers.
I keep them locked on mine while guiding her harder against me.
“Come for me.”
Her body tightens.
Her mouth falls open.
Then she shudders against me, her hips stuttering as the orgasm tears through her.
“Oh, God.”
The words emerge weak and broken.
She clings to me while I continue moving beneath her, drawing out every tremor.
“There you go.”
I stroke my fingers along her spine.
“Let me feel it.”
She buries her face against my neck as the last waves move through her.
For several seconds, neither of us speaks.
Our breathing fills the car.
I lift her chin and kiss her again.
Slower.
Deeper.
Full of everything we’ve spent years refusing to name.
When our lips separate, the sound is soft and wet.
I stare at her.
Her pupils are wide. Her lipstick is smeared across her swollen mouth and probably mine. Red marks darken the skin along her neck.
She looks back at me, studying every feature of my face.
My eyes.
My nose.
My lips.
Then her gaze drops toward my hands gripping her hips.
Reality slams into me.
Bran’s sister.
Francis’s daughter.
My client.
The woman I promised to protect.
I release her as though her skin has burned me.
“Oh, fuck.”
I look away.
Simone goes completely still.
Then she smooths her dress down and climbs silently into the passenger seat.
The silence between us is catastrophic.
She folds her arms and stares through the windshield.
I grip the steering wheel.
There are a thousand things I should say.
I don’t know how to say any of them without hurting her again.
So I remain silent.
I’ve crossed the line I spent years pretending didn’t exist.
I touched my best friend’s sister.
Made her come in my lap.
And I still want more.
I hate myself for losing control.
For wanting her.
For stopping.
For not stopping sooner.
Idiot.
Fucking idiot.
I spend the rest of the drive attacking myself with every accusation I deserve.
When I reach the Rochefort estate, Simone grabs the door handle before the car fully stops.
Panic forces words from my mouth.
“We got caught up in the moment.”
She pauses.
“We were both…” I swallow. “It was the adrenaline. The argument. You’d been drinking.”
Her voice is quiet when she answers.
“I’m not an eighteen-year-old girl with a crush anymore, Luca.”
She turns toward me.
“I’m an adult. I know exactly what happened without you explaining it.”
She retrieves her heels from the back seat and opens the door.
“And if you’re searching for an excuse, at least choose a believable one.”
Her lips are still swollen.
The marks I left on her neck remain visible.
Desire hits me all over again.
She lifts one eyebrow.
“You didn’t drink anything tonight.”
Then she slams the door.
The sound follows me long after she disappears into the house.