Chapter 13 #2
“At all. With the father I have, my whole life has been dictated. Where to be, when to be there, who to speak to, what we talk about—the list goes on. I don’t know that I’ve made any decisions in my life without first being told I needed to make the decision and then told what the decision would be. ”
“Well, okay then.”
“What? What’s that mean?” I asked, confused by the resigned tone his voice held.
“I was going to suggest something, but it won’t work.”
Licking my lips, I stared into his face, my heart racing like a runaway train, and asked, “What were you going to suggest?”
“Clearly we have chemistry—”
I nearly fell off his lap laughing at him. “Clearly,” I parroted.
“Shut up, brat.”
I pretended to zip my lips while fighting not to smile.
He tried covering up the laugh with a deep put-upon sigh. “Thank you. As I said, we have chemistry.”
I nodded, biting down on my lips where they rolled into my mouth.
“Good boy.”
I groaned, and my cock twitched. Why the fuck did him saying that to me light me up the way it did?
“And from what you said, I’m gathering you need to change your image up.”
Okay, that I couldn’t not respond to. “You’re not about to suggest I Hallmark movie fake date some chick, are you?”
“Fuck no.”
“Okay then what were you going to suggest because that’s what my mother suggested not too long ago.”
“Your mother actually suggested you find a beard.”
“Actually, she suggested that since I’m not ‘really gay’—after I explained being pansexual didn’t mean I could choose to ignore the attraction I felt for male-presenting people or turn it off—that I let her find someone who wouldn’t be opposed to being in an open relationship. Quietly.”
He blinked. Multiple times. Then closed his eyes and licked his lips and took not one but two deep breaths. “Okay, wow.”
I laughed because what else was I supposed to do? “Your reaction probably would’ve gone over much better than my own did. I will say, she’s trying to understand. She was raised in Russia for the most part.”
He nodded and sighed. “Not a great place to learn about sexuality and queerness.”
“No,” I said.
The air between us held only the soft sounds of breathing and fabric shifting.
“Before you mentioned your aversion to dominant men, I thought we could work out a mutually beneficial situationship.”
“Ahh, so you get a hot young stud in your bed on the regular, and I get a what, an older man who helps me chill my tits?”
A slow, evenly paced bob of his chin was the only agreement I received, but then he stopped, cocked his head, and lifted a brow. “That was the idea, but it clearly won’t work.”
“Why not?”
“Trey, if it’s not apparent, then let me make it so. I’m a Dom. I’m on the softer side of the kink spectrum, but still definitely a Dominant.”
“Okay…and?”
“And you don’t like Dominant men. So, it wouldn’t work. I’m a Daddy Dom. I take care of people, and my subs have rules.”
“Yeah, I don’t know what any of those words mean when put together in that order. I mean, I have an idea. I’m not completely stupid.”
“Don’t be mean to yourself. There’s plenty of assholes out there doing that for you.”
I pressed my mouth to his. I had to. When I pulled away, a soft smile graced his handsome face and a matching one graced mine if the way my face felt was anything to go by. “Can I ask you something, though?” I asked.
“Absolutely.”
“What do you get out of a…situationship…like this?” I asked, failing to think of a better descriptor.
“You mean other than a hot young stud isn’t enough?”
“Okay, so what would you get from being with me?”
“A man who ticks a lot of my boxes and makes me laugh.”
His words smacked me in the face, shocking me. I knew we had chemistry, but… “Really. I tick your boxes?”
He smiled softly, his knuckles brushing over my face. Tender and gentle weren’t touches I was familiar with. “Yes, really. You’re sexy as fuck, and you suck cock like a pro.”
“Been with many pros have you?”
He shook his head, his eyes rolling. “It might not’ve been their job, but it easily could’ve been. And just so you’re aware, in case it’s slipped your mind, you’re what’s called a brat in the community.”
“A brat? You’ve said that a few times. It doesn’t sound like a good thing.”
One by one, his fingers curled around my throat and pulled me toward him, stopping just far enough apart that when our eyes met, they didn’t cross.
Our breath whispered and danced together while eyes remained locked.
“To the right Dom, a brat is like winning the lottery, baby boy. It makes our hearts sing, our cocks throb, and our palms itch.”
“Holy shit.” The words were barely a whisper. Between the good boy and now the baby boy, he just kept mindfucking me. The baby boy managed to suck all the air from my lungs and did shit to my body I wasn’t sure I wanted to examine too closely.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he said while gazing at my face and into my eyes. I knew I was hot. I knew I was gorgeous. The genes were there: a supermodel for a grandmother and a figure skater turned model mother, who still booked photo shoots and commercials regularly.
“So the boxes?” I asked, because I couldn’t not know, but I also couldn’t bring myself to formulate the question I actually wanted to ask.
“What boxes?”
“The ones I tick. Or rather the ones I don’t.”
Wide-eyed and laser-focused, his gaze stared me down.
It felt probing. As if he searched for answers to questions not yet asked.
I braced myself when his mouth opened, but then he said, “Someone who knows I’m not interested in a bedmate who bounces around the club looking for something or someone better.
Who knows I’m a possessive fuck who doesn’t share. ”
That unearthed a memory from the previous night. “So you and Ewen…”
“What about Ewen and me?” he asked.
“I asked last night if you were together. And if so, whether you shared.”
“You did.”
“You didn’t answer.”
He shook his head. “No, I didn’t. I don’t discuss my preferences with anyone I’m not in a dynamic or relationship with.”
“Oh!” The question that ran through my head last night about how to sign up for that job came back to me. I opened my mouth, and a soft, barely there smile tugged at his lips.
He said, “But since you sucked my cock so beautifully, I think the lock on that door is open.” He paused, then continued, “Ewen and I are best friends. Have been for nearly as long as you’ve been alive.
Sometimes, we are best friends. Sometimes, we are best friends who fuck.
Sometimes, we’ve shared; never if we were in a relationship or dynamic with a sub.
Not unless the sub asked and the dynamic between us is stable without any jealousy issues. ”
I nodded. The thoughts whirled. I couldn’t get them to pause long enough to latch onto one so I could figure out what any of it meant.
Finally, I looked at him, and I realized I’d been sitting on his lap all this time.
Straddling him, my fingers wandering over his flesh while we talked, and I tried to make him understand I was into him, and he tried explaining his life to me.
“So, exclusive?” I asked.
“That would be my preference and what would work best for your situation. I mean if you’re trying to prove that you’ve settled down and are being less impulsive and hot-headed—”