Chapter Five
S unday afternoon, Dante took Noah to the Braddock Sanctuary, owned by Holden and Emily. It was next to their house on their vast acreage, and he loved how he could feel the freedom in the animals as they lived out the rest of their days as they should be—cared for and surrounded by love.
He wanted his son to grow up responsible but also with compassion, and what better way to cultivate both than to volunteer at the sanctuary on a weekly basis.
“Thanks again for letting us help out,” he told Holden as they repaired a fence in the alpaca grazing area that had been damaged in last week’s storm.
“Thank you ,” Holden replied. “The poor llamas aren’t happy sharing their space with the alpacas.”
He stretched the last of the metal mesh fence while Holden fastened it to the post. “How can you tell them apart?”
“Mainly their size and their ears,” his buddy replied. “Alpacas are smaller at about one-hundred-fifty pounds and have short, spear-shaped ears. Llamas, on the other hand, they’re like a big Navy SEAL with more muscles than brains. Llamas can get to four-hundred pounds, and they have much longer, banana-shaped ears.”
Dante laughed. “Yeah, they do sound like a few squids we know.”
Thankfully, none of the SEALs they’d done joint missions with ever fit that description.
“Daddy!”
The sound of Noah’s excited voice had him glancing toward the driveway at the other end of the pen.
His son was a slow eater, so they’d left him with Emily to finish his taco a good thirty minutes ago.
The little dude grinned, walking between the two Harrison sisters. Apparently, Amanda had arrived while he’d been helping Holden with the fence.
Funny, his buddy hadn’t mentioned she was coming today.
He glanced sideways at Holden. “What? People drop in all the time to help out.”
He snorted through the bullshit.
“Look, Miss Amanda is here to help too,” Noah stated unnecessarily.
“Go on over,” Holden said. “I’m going to put my tools away.”
Feeling slightly coerced but surprisingly not mad, he lifted a hand and waved, ordering his pulse to behave as his gaze strayed past Noah to Amanda.
She wore her hair pulled back in a ponytail, a gray sweatshirt with the sanctuary logo on it, and a pair of jeans that hugged her curves to perfection.
The woman made denim look good.
And his body heated without permission.
He focused on Noah and as usual, his need took a back seat. “Hey, little dude.” He smiled at Noah, and when he rounded the fence and reached the driveway, he nodded to the women. “Hi, Emily. Amanda.”
They greeted him with a smile.
He picked up his son and lightly tapped his belly. “Finally finish your lunch?”
“Yep.” Noah grinned. “And chocolate milk, too.”
“Wow. You must’ve behaved.”
“Yep.”
“So now he gets to help me with the…what?” Emily frowned at his son, pretending not to know.
“The pigs!” Noah shouted, squirming to get down. “Can we go, now, Emiwy?”
“Absolutely,” Emily replied. “Do you remember where they are?”
Noah blinked and then pointed to a barn that was beyond the dog kennels. “On da udder side of dat.”
Emily nodded. “Yep. Come on, I’ll race you.”
And without even a backward glance, his son was running down the driveway as fast as his little legs could carry him.
Amanda’s chuckle brought his attention to her smiling face. “He’s pretty quick. Must keep you on your toes.”
A smile tugged his lips. “You have no idea.”
She cocked her head. “Maybe a little. I do have a classroom full of three-year-olds.”
“True.” Dante scratched his temple as he thought about it. “Man, you must really have your hands full. I couldn’t do it.”
He didn’t think he’d have enough patience.
“With luck, maybe not for much longer.”
His chest tightened. Was she going back to England? “Why do you say that?”
“I have an interview—well, a video type interview—Thursday afternoon,” she replied. “There are a few teaching positions opening in the fall. I’ve gotten past the application and resume stage. If I do well on Thursday, then it’s on to a test run in a real classroom. After that is an actual interview.”
“Man.” He shook his head. “Never realized teachers had to jump through so many hoops to get hired.”
She shrugged. “Yeah, but if I were a parent, I’d appreciate it. I wouldn’t want my child subjected to a bad-tempered teacher, especially in those first few formative years. It’s important for a child to want to go to school and learn, not dread it because the teacher is rude.”
“Absolutely.” That wouldn’t sit well with him at all.
“This process hopefully eliminates them, although we all know nothing is foolproof.”
“Well, even if Noah doesn’t get to have you as his teacher in the fall, I’m glad you might substitute in his class once in a while right now.”
She smiled a thousand-watt smile that he felt to his soul. “Thank you.”
“Thank you,” he replied. “He’s already missing out on so much in life, I’m glad he’ll have had a kind, caring teacher, if only for a little while.”
Dante tried to be both mother and father, but there were times when he knew he fell short. He constantly worried if he was enough for his son.
Amanda stepped closer and caught his gaze. “You know, Dante, you’re doing a phenomenal job raising Noah,” she said, shocking him silent.
Had she read his mind?
“He’s a wonderful little boy who shares his toys, doesn’t talk back, sits quietly when his teacher is speaking,” she said. “I’ve only helped in his class once this week, but I could tell he is a good kid.”
Dante exhaled and nodded. “Thanks. I do my best.”
“I can tell that too. It shows in his behavior.” She set a hand on his arm, and the feel of her touch and warmth in her earnest gaze woke a longing in him he didn’t understand. “I just want to tell you, well done. You are an amazing father.”
Her unexpected praise knocked him off his axis and before he could right himself, she had released him and was already disappearing into the kennel building.
Still a little unsteady, he stood a moment and stared after her.
“You okay?” Holden asked, sidling up to him from the other side of the fence, Braddock at his side.
He scrubbed a hand over his face before meeting his buddy’s gaze. “I’m not sure. That woman…she makes me…I don’t know.”
“Feel,” Holden said, a knowing look in his eyes. “She makes you feel again.”
Again? More like for the first time.
He blew out a breath and closed his eyes. “Yeah.”
“And you like it.”
“Yeah.” He opened his eyes. “But I shouldn’t, right? I mean, Sheri has only been dead for two years. This is too soon, right?”
“Only you can answer that.”
He blew out another breath. “I know.”
“And forgive me for saying this, but I don’t think you’re just suffering from grief,” Holden said. “I think half of it is guilt.”
He snapped his head back and met Holden’s intense gaze. No sense in denying it. His buddy always was too damn astute. “Is it that obvious?”
Holden shook his head. “No, but I know you. In Delta, we were tight. Brothers. Had to know each other inside and out in order to trust and have each other’s six. So, I always knew you never intended to marry Sheri, and that she didn’t want an attachment either. But you both did what you thought was right—for Noah—not so much for each other.”
“Yeah,” he admitted out loud for the first time. “But I did love her, you know. Just not how she deserved.”
God, he felt like an ass for saying that, but he also felt a thousand pounds lighter for getting it off his chest.
“I know,” Holden said quietly. “And I’m pretty sure, deep down, you know she carried a similar guilt.”
He nodded, allowing the truth of those words to wash through him.
“So, it’s all right to move on from all that. Give yourself permission,” his buddy urged quietly. “You don’t need to carry it around anymore. It’s not doing you any good.”
Deep down, Dante knew his friend was right. Everything Holden just said were the same things he’d been telling himself a few months now. But then Ida had passed away and he put his issues aside and concentrated on helping his son through the grieving process, navigated the sale of the property, and moving to Harland.
Only now was he able to dig out from under all of that and revisit his issues.
“It’s okay to feel again,” Holden said.
Dante smirked. He’d certainly been feeling a lot lately. The image of Amanda’s beautiful face, mischief lighting her gorgeous, green-gray eyes, flashed through his mind.
“You were definitely feeling amused yesterday.” Holden grinned. “I noticed you laughing while I was playing volleyball. It was great to see. I’m betting you haven’t laughed like that since our Delta days.”
He chuckled. “True.”
“What in the world was Amanda saying to you?”
“She was telling us about the last time she’d played horseshoes,” he replied, then went on to fill his buddy in on her crazy true tale. By the time he finished, they were both laughing.
“She certainly has a way with words,” Holden stated when he sobered.
“Among other things.” The woman had a way of causing his heart to move in his chest when she smiled, and movement below his belt when he watched the sweet sway of her hips.
“That’s good.”
Real good. Too good.
He exhaled and slowly shook his head. “I don’t know. She’s my neighbor and your fiancée’s sister. And sort of Noah’s teacher right now and could be his teacher in the fall if she doesn’t get that other job. What if things go south?”
That would be a colossal mess.
“What if they don’t?” Holden asked. “Think of what you’d be missing out on.”
True. He nodded.
“There are no guarantees in life,” his buddy pointed out.
Hell, he knew that one unequivocally.
“Look, Amanda is obviously beautiful and down-to-earth. She’s almost thirty, which is only a few years younger than you. She’s single now. Emily said her sister had dated some limey in England, but it ended over a year ago.”
Whoever had let her go was an idiot.
“She’s smart,” Holden continued to list Amanda’s attributes, as if Dante didn’t already know, “Noah likes her. She’s definitely funny.”
A snicker rose up his throat. “Roger that.”
“She makes you feel good, right?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
She made him feel a lot of things and good was absolutely one of them.
Holden set a hand on Dante’s shoulder and squeezed. “Then don’t deny yourself that.”
It wasn’t that easy, but he was working on it.
After a few seconds, he nodded. “I’m hearing you.”
“Are you?” Holden frowned, removing his hand from Dante’s shoulder. “Because I’m worried that you’re letting guilt from the past get in the way of a happy future.”
He raised a brow, thought about that a moment then cocked his head. “I don’t think I’m so much worried about me as I am Noah. I don’t want to make a mistake.”
He refused to put his son in danger, either physically or emotionally.
“I understand, but isn’t that what life is about?” Holden asked. “Taking chances, making mistakes, and learning from them. Aren’t all of those things important for Noah to learn, too?”
Damn. “I forgot about your ability to lay out the hard truths, man.” He shook his head but grinned. “And again, I’m hearing you. Of course, I don’t want to shelter Noah, but at the same time, he’s so young and has already experienced so much loss.”
Holden exhaled and nodded. “I know, so now maybe it’s time he experienced some of the good things life has to offer.”
“There you go again, making sense.” He smiled.
“Look, all I’m asking is that you give yourself permission to open up to possibilities.”
His snicker echoed between them and twitched Braddock’s ears. “Is that all? That’s a big step.”
“I know it is. But you have big feet.” Holden winked. “They can take it.”
He snorted. “Man, first Dex claims I have two right hands, and now you say I have big feet. That doesn’t paint a great picture. It’s a wonder Amanda even looks at me.”
“Oh, she looks, all right,” Holden said, a smile spread wide across his face. “A lot.”
Dante went brows up while his pulse jumped. “She does?”
“Yep.” His buddy’s grin widened. “Like right now.”
Again, his pulse jumped and once he got it to settle, Dante turned in the direction of Holden’s gaze and spotted Amanda in the dog yard behind the kennels…looking his way.
When she lifted a hand and waved, he smiled and waved back. A few seconds later, she turned her attention to the dogs clamoring by her feet, waiting for the ball to leave her other hand.
He ripped his gaze away and found his buddy grinning at him. “What?”
“Nothing.” Holden shrugged. “Just looks like one of those possibilities we were talking about.”
“I don’t know.” He hesitated. “Noah—”
“Is with Emily taking care of the pigs,” Holden interrupted. “And you know he loves the pigs.”
“Yeah.” Dante laughed. “That’s all he’s talked about this week.”
Dante had to buy his son a farm animal coloring book at the store, so he’d stop drawing them on books, the mail…the table.
Holden grinned. “Good. Braddock and I were about to round up some stray cows, so that leaves you free to help Amanda exercise the dogs.”
Before he could reply, his buddy was walking away.
“Hey, you were wrong about one thing, Holden.”
The guy stopped and turned to face him, one brow raised. “Oh? What’s that?”
“You said we were brothers in Delta,” he replied. “We’re still brothers. Always will be.”
A grin spread across Holden’s face. “Hooah.”
“Hooah,” he uttered in return, before heading for the dog kennels.
Didn’t matter that they were civilians now. Holden and all of Dante’s military friends would always be his brothers. That bond didn’t dissolve after active duty.
It would remain forever, he thought to himself, as he walked through the kennel building and opened the door that led to the large, fenced area out back. Amanda was throwing a ball and eight dogs of all sizes and breeds ran barking after the bright yellow toy.
He was amazed how the dogs didn’t fight. They each took turns and respected boundaries. It was something to watch. The dogs were happy and grounded. They’d found the place where they belonged, and they thrived.
Exactly what he wanted for his son…and for himself.
“Hey, hi.” Amanda’s face lit up when she spotted him.
As usual, when graced with one of her beautiful smiles, Dante’s heart stirred, and warmth washed through his body.
“Hi.” He smiled back. “Holden said you might need help exercising the dogs.”
Relief lowered her shoulders. “Yes. Can you take over? Pretty sure I threw out my shoulder and possibly my blade along with the ball two tosses ago. I’ve asked them to bring it back, but they only focus on the ball.”
He chuckled, already more relaxed than he’d been all day. Her presence was soothing.
“Sure,” he said, and she dropped the ball into his hands.
The dogs immediately rushed to him and waited. Dante wound up and lobbed the ball far across the yard. Running and barking, the happy dogs raced for the prize.
“Geeze, Dante.” Amanda blinked. “That went twice as far as mine. You should take over the ball throwing from now on. You’ll give them a much better workout than I am.”
“I’d be happy to.” He found himself smiling again.
She smiled back, and a pretty flush of color filled her cheeks. “Thanks.”
Neither of them moved or blinked, just stood there smiling at each other, gazes locked, and he welcomed the warm sensations awakening his body.
“I should go clean the water bowls and refill them while you give the dogs a workout,” she said, remaining still.
He nodded. “Okay.”
The dogs returned with the ball. Dante bent down, retrieved it from a black Lab, then threw the ball again. When he turned, he found her still there.
“Did I move at all?” she asked.
Smiling, he shook his head. “No.”
“Darn. Could’ve sworn I made progress.”
“Oh, you did,” he said. “You’re making me feel good.”
It was the truth and it felt great to admit it out loud. And considering that her blush deepened, he was happy he’d shared it.
“Good. I’m glad,” she said, rubbing her shoulder. “And I’m also off to clean water bowls.”
“Hang on,” he said, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She jumped. “It’s okay. I can help. Just relax.”
She exhaled. “Thanks, but you don’t have—wow, what’d you do?” She rotated her shoulder. “It feels better now.”
He smiled. “Good. I’m glad,” he said, using her words. “You over-extended. I just found the right pressure point.”
“Thanks.”
The dogs returned and this time when he picked up the ball and threw it, he turned back to find she was no longer standing near him. She was opening the door and entering the building, and he couldn’t stop his gaze from dropping to her sweet, jean-clad ass.
So fine.
A shaft of heat stirred his groin. He immediately turned and focused his attention on the dogs.
After ten more minutes of playing fetch, doing his best to let each dog get the ball, he could tell they were starting to get tired because they barked less and slowed down.
“Okay!” Amanda called from behind him. “You can bring them in now. Everyone’s dish is clean and filled with water.”
“Roger that,” he said, happily walking toward the smiling woman holding the door open.
Within a minute, they had each pup in its assigned kennel and the ball back in the basket of toys.
“Thanks for the help,” she said, walking to the alcove in the back to wash her hands in the sink next to the toy basket.
He followed, and as they both washed and dried their hands, he thought about how enjoyable his day was so far, then she looked up at him and grinned.
“You were good with the dogs,” she said. “I was watching you.”
He lifted a brow. “You were?”
How come he hadn’t felt it? Was he slipping? An operator, law enforcement, whatever, should be able to tell when they’re being watched.
“Yeah, through the small window in the back door.” She blushed. “Have you worked with dogs before?”
He shrugged. “Not really. But I’ve picked up a few things from Holden.”
She nodded. “Well, whatever you’re doing, it works. They like and respect you and respond to you, which I completely get.”
“You do?” Unable to help himself, Dante stepped closer.
Amanda inhaled and nodded but didn’t complain about her lack of personal space or push him out of the way. In fact, she shifted closer.
“Yes,” she said. “Because I do too.”
His heart rocked that time, and as he stared into her warm gaze, he found heat and a sense of peace. He lifted a hand to cup her face and lightly brush his thumb across her soft cheek. The contrast between his dark skin and her fair skin increased his desire to touch more of her.
“Amanda,” he whispered, while staring into her wide, stunned gaze. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”
Her sharp inhale echoed between them. “Yes.” She set a hand on his chest and cupped his jaw with her other. “I’d like that.” Her voice was breathless, and it upped the heat rushing through him.
Needing no other encouragement, Dante slowly lowered his mouth to hers and was unprepared for the charge of sensations that ricocheted through his body.
A soft noise sounded in Amanda’s throat, and he decided it meant she had felt it too…and liked it. And he also liked how she opened her mouth for him and how her body melted against his in a most unexpected and amazing way.
Dante had only intended to kiss her softly, to test their connection, but need was ruling his actions and he kissed her long and thorough, loving how her tongue brushed against his as if she couldn’t get enough either. She tasted like strawberries and sunshine, and he couldn’t get enough.
If it weren’t for the need for oxygen, he would’ve kissed the sweet woman until Holden brought his cows home. But all too soon, he was forced to break the kiss.
As they both sucked in much-needed air, she clutched his shoulders and set her forehead to his chin.
“You…Mr. Williams…are magic,” she said between breaths. “You not only…stole my breath, you also stole…the strength from my legs. I hope you’re happy.”
He chuckled. “I am. Very happy.”
She drew back and smiled at him. “Me, too. I—”
“Daddy! Miss Amanda! Are you in here?” Noah’s voice echoed through the building.
He swallowed a groan. He loved the little dude, but he was proving to have the worst timing.
“Yeah, back here!” he replied.
Amanda snickered and pointed between them. “You and I will revisit this later.” Smiling, she stepped in front of the sink and turned on the faucet. “We’re washing up!” she called out, then doused her face with water. “It got hot in here,” she mumbled, grinning at him as she wiped her face with a paper towel.
Oh, they were going to revisit this later.