Chapter 10
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My mate was kissing me! He’d actually…I don’t know, because my brain was certainly short-circuiting. Dante was kissing me, and it was the best thing ever. When he pulled away, I could only smile up at him. And then my brain finally kicked in.
“Can we go?” I asked. Dante looked confused.
“Seriously, Dante. You’ve been amazing and absolutely wonderful for weeks, but it’s been weeks.
And you just kissed me for the first time ever, and it was wonderful, but now I don’t want to be here.
I want to be home, alone with you. Your place is closer, and we don’t have to do more than just…
I don’t know. I’m not saying I think you’re going to claim me or anything, but—” Dante stopped me with another kiss.
This one with a bit more pressure, but still just as innocent as the first.
“We can go home and see where things go.”
I was all for it. I was ready to go, and I took a step toward the direction to leave.
Dante redirected me, taking me farther into the festival but keeping toward the side.
It was when we finally made a right turn that I realized where he was leading me.
We were going to his place. I should have picked up on that before.
“Oh, wow. You’re going to have to hear everything from the festival all night.”
Dante chuckled. “No. The festival will only go until ten. But it will be very quiet in the house regardless.”
That’s right. The houses were soundproofed because they shared a wall with the neighbor. Nobody wanted to hear when their fellow enforcer might get lucky and have a hookup at their place for the night.
I glanced up at my mate, able to see him just a bit in the dim light. “Can I ask why you have been so hesitant? Is it because of what happened to me?”
Dante hesitated for a moment before he continued walking. “I’ll answer that question as soon as we’re inside. But no, it is not because of what you most likely think.”
I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. All along, I had thought he didn’t want me because of what had happened to me in the jungle. Maybe it was my harsh words after all.
“Stop,” Dante said. Except he didn’t stop walking. “Your mind is going places it shouldn’t. We will talk once we get back to mine. Until then, don’t make assumptions.”
“How did you know?”
“Because your aura changed color again. Just wait a few more minutes, and we will have that cocoa you wanted, and we can talk about taking our relationship to the next level.”
By next level, he meant claiming one another, right?
There wasn’t anything else. Was there? I thought about it for a moment and came to the conclusion that the only thing between what we had now and claiming each other was just having a sexual relationship.
I shook my head. No. Just no. I couldn’t accept that.
“You’re still doing it,” Dante said. He directed me up the walkway to his house, and the door opened as we approached. I would have wondered if someone was inside if not for the fact that Dante had magic. “After you,” he said. “Did you wish for help with your boots?”
I looked down at my feet. They were covered in a bit of snow, and I was making a mess on his floor. “Oh, sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be. I’m not worried about the mess. I was just wondering if you wanted help taking your boots off.”
I looked up at Dante. “Please? I didn’t think to stomp my boots on the front porch.”
Dante shrugged. He pulled my hat off my head, and I could feel my hair standing up and out. I was certain it looked horrible, but this was me, and if Dante had an issue with any part of it, then he wasn’t the right mate for me.
“You were cute before, but with your hair like that…” Dante shook his head. “Too adorable.”
I grinned back at him while undoing my coat. “That’s good because I have some serious bed head in the mornings. Just so you know.” I got serious for a moment. “Not that we’re going to be spending the night together anytime soon or anything like that.”
Dante sighed. “I’ve messed up. A lot. I would like to discuss that?”
I nodded, and when he reached for my coat, I handed it and the gloves to him. They disappeared, and I had to assume they went into a closet somewhere. I didn’t see one, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have one.
Dante led me into the back room, and I stopped short. The walls were the same, but the super-comfortable blue couch was gone. In its place was an oversized leather sectional. It looked comfortable as well, but I had to wonder where the other couch had gone.
“I got rid of the blue couch.”
“Yeah, I can see that.” I looked up at my mate. “Why?”
“I got tired of sticking to it. I didn’t like having to lift and reposition myself every time I sat on it.”
I laughed at that. He wasn’t wrong though. We did stick to it. Especially when wearing jeans, I’d noticed. “Well, the new one looks just as comfortable.”
“Good. Shall we sit and talk for a bit?”
I nodded and went to my usual position—the center of the “v” of the couch. Dante sat beside me and held out his hand. I took it, and he played with my fingers for several moments before he looked at me.
“Don’t cringe, please,” Dante said. “I’m going to say the most cliché thing ever, but it’s not you, it’s me.” I rolled my lips inward to keep from snorting. Dante noticed and nodded. “Yes, it’s bad. I get that.”
“I didn’t say anything,” I said.
Dante nodded. “I…” He took a moment, and while he seemed to be gathering his thoughts, he placed my hand between his, sandwiching it with his larger, impossibly warm hands.
“I’ve never been in a relationship. Ever.
I’ve had sex, but it was merely for relief.
I was a selfish lover and never cared about them even a little as long as I got what I wanted or needed. ”
I felt a bit of the excitement of the possibility of us going further slipping away. “You didn’t…” I took a deep breath. “Did they consent?”
Dante’s eyes widened. “Yes. Always. But I didn’t necessarily give them what they needed. I didn’t care if they enjoyed or if they got off. I just wanted my own release.”
I took a deep breath. Not the greatest thing to learn about your mate, but I was thankful for knowing this now instead of after we’d claimed each other. “Okay. Well, I hope things will be different between us.”
Dante took one of his hands and ran it down his face.
“I know they will, but that’s not all. I have scars.
I haven’t tried to remove them now that I have my magic back.
I don’t even know if I can remove some. They were given to me by my creator, and I don’t think my magic is strong enough to undo what he did. ”
I tilted my head. “We don’t scar though?” I said. Then it hit me, and my eyes rounded. “You were hurt that seriously?”
Dante nodded. He pointed to his cheek. “I have a scar that cuts across my cheek to my chin. It pulls on my lip, which is why my smile looks more like a grimace. That’s why I have the beard.
It hides it, and people don’t stare.” Dante pointed to his stomach.
“I was seriously injured in the jungle in Colombia. There was a tiger shifter that was there. He was one of the guards. He leapt out at us when the enforcers were in the midst of the rescue. He caught me in the stomach before he was killed.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but I needed to know. “How bad was it?”
Dante chuckled. “Let’s just say that if there weren’t magic wielders there, I wouldn’t be here with you now. My insides weren’t still inside where they should be, and some of them were in multiple pieces.”
I cringed. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help but do so at the mental image that created for me.
I moved, taking a huge chance that Dante would accept me moving to where I was straddling his lap.
He grabbed my hips, holding me stiffly but not pushing me away.
I placed my hands on his shoulders and smiled at him.
“Thank you for telling me. Your scars don’t bother me though. I have some as well. Mine are small though, but when you live in shackles for months on end, it happens.” I pulled up my sleeve. They were faint, but if you looked close enough, you could see the scars from the metal.
Dante ran his finger over my skin, and I would swear he suddenly felt immense sadness. “Do you want me to heal them? I can make them go away for you.”
I tilted my head, then glanced between us where he was rubbing my wrist. “Do they bother you?”
“No,” Dante said quietly. “I thought they might you, though, since they are a constant reminder.”
I looked at them again and thought about it for a moment. “I guess they are in a way. I don’t really think about them too much, actually. They’re faded; they don’t hurt or pull or anything.” I turned my gaze back to my mate. “If they bother you, I’m all for them being healed, I guess.”
Dante stared at me for a moment before he nodded slowly. “We’ll leave them for now and come back to it later if you’d like.”
“How about…we have our scars healed together? We could ask Master Edison? Or maybe he could get the goddess to fix them?” I shrugged.
“Mine really don’t bother me.” I reached out and touched Dante’s cheek.
Knowing there was what was probably a nasty scar under there made sense as to why his smile always looked more like a grimace.
His eyes would twinkle, saying he was genuinely happy, but his mouth said otherwise.
“I will if mine bother you.”
I shook my head. “I haven’t seen them, and although I would never ask you to shave so I could see this one, I hope that one day you will let me see your stomach.
” I smiled, hoping he took my comment as being lighthearted as it was intended.
“I would very much like to see you in a whole lot less clothing.”