Chapter 4 Illuminative Conversation
Illuminative Conversation
As it happened, Lizzy’s evening was not as relaxing and restful as anticipated.
Mr. Darcy passed a delightful evening in horse-centric conversation with his fellows at the Jockey Club.
He missed Elizabeth, of course, but if being truthful, not too much until back at Darcy House.
And even then, between a rich dinner and far too much fine wine, he slipped rather quickly over any sensations of melancholy and right into dreams of his beautiful fiancé.
Mr. Gardiner and Mr. Bennet also spent a marvelous evening away from the house. The two gentlemen accepted a last-minute invitation to join Mr. Bingley at a boxing match, followed by who knew what manner of entertainment, and did not return until nearly midnight.
As a result, Lizzy dined alone with Jane and Aunt Gardiner.
For a treat, their nieces and nephews joined them for dinner and then for a rowdy interval of family fun in the parlor.
Eventually, the nanny came to collect them for bed, and after the obligatory moans and protests, the ladies were left in peaceable solitude.
Curled in chairs close to the fire, they each pulled out their needlepoint projects.
For a time, Lizzy concentrated on the bookmark she was creating, but because it was a planned present for William, her mind continually drifted to him and their passionate exchange in his office.
She wasn’t aware that she was staring into space or that she had sighed for the fifth time in a half hour.
“What has you pensive and distracted this evening, my dear?”
Mrs. Gardiner’s question pierced the silence, jolting Lizzy visibly despite it being asked in her aunt’s normal subdued voice.
“Nothing at all,” she hastily replied only to stutter into a convicted silence when her aunt quirked one brow in an obvious I know you are lying message.
Speaking from where she sat placidly sewing by the fire, needle flashing without pause, Jane spoke up.
“She has been in a mood since we departed Darcy House and refuses to confess the truth or the cause. I believe it has something to do with the private audience Lizzy had with Mr. Darcy while at his townhouse today. A lengthy audience, I must add—”
“Must you really?” Lizzy interrupted. She wasn’t sure whether to laugh, snap irritably, or roll her eyes at the merciless teasing at her expense.
“I am glad to hear of it, Lizzy. Long private audiences during one’s betrothal period are necessary for a happy, fulfilled marriage.
A new bride should not be wholly surprised on her wedding night.
A bit of prior knowledge and practice is most beneficial for early and lasting pleasure with your husband in the bedchamber.
Make sure you arrange a few private interludes with Mr. Bingley, Jane dear. ”
Mrs. Gardiner had resumed her needlepoint after speaking matter-of-factly and was, at least outwardly, oblivious to the dropped jaws and flushed cheeks of her nieces. Then she peered at them over the top of her glasses, a sly smile spreading.
“Now, I wonder, which has you two the most shocked? That I would approve of such scandalous behavior before marriage? That an old woman like me still engages in and enjoys bedroom antics? Or that I would openly broach the topic in the first place?”
Not too surprisingly, Lizzy had regained her composure sooner than Jane, who was still scarlet and staring into her lap. “You are far from old, Aunt,” Lizzy observed, “and with four young children, it isn’t a revelation that you engage in…”
“Bedroom antics,” Mrs. Gardiner supplied when Lizzy faltered.
“Yes…that.” Lizzy swallowed, glancing away from her aunt’s amused smirk toward an even redder-faced Jane.
Seeing no help forthcoming from that direction, Lizzy stumbled on.
“It isn’t so much the encouragement to practice, as you put it, before our wedding, although that is…
irregular. For me, and perhaps for Jane, it is the implications of enjoyment and… pleasure.”
Lizzy didn’t think her face was quite as red as her sister’s, but it was a relief when, instead of teasing further, her aunt assumed a serious expression.
“Is the idea of felicity in the marriage bed an unfathomable concept? Surely you have both experienced the delight in your young man’s touch?
His kiss? The feelings provoked inside of you?
All teasing aside, a proper lady should not take matters too far until wed, but to feel nothing would be a poor sign indeed. ”
“No…that is, yes, I do feel…something, but do not…” Tongue-tied, Lizzy stuttered to a halt.
Still staring into her lap and voice barely audible, Jane explained, “What I believe has Lizzy and myself shocked is that, until now, our only reliable source of personal, experienced information has been our mother.”
“Ah! I see. This is unfortunate. Well”—Mrs. Gardiner set her needlepoint onto the side table—“we must remedy this dearth in your education before it is too late. Where shall we begin?” She stared at each of them in turn.
Jane finally lifted her eyes for a moment, but when neither offered direction, she crisply, and rather business-like, resumed speaking.
“It appears ‘at the beginning’ is the answer, although I can’t believe neither of you understands the basic mechanics of the mating process.
Surely your studies included biology and anatomy, and you do live on a farm, for heaven’s sake. ”
“We aren’t that ignorant!” Lizzy blurted, feeling a tad offended.
“I did not think you were, my dears. Although, it is best not to assume anything. However, the pressing issue at hand is creating an environment of ease, now and later. You are grown women soon to be married. If the remotest reference to intimacy brings on blushes and stammering, how will you ever communicate openly with your husbands? Whatever their prior experience, they are not mind readers. A healthy, mutually satisfying relationship requires wives who will talk to them freely.”
Suddenly, as if a door in her mind opened, Lizzy saw the value in a frank discussion with someone who obviously enjoyed a physical relationship with her spouse.
Thus far, all they had gotten from Mrs. Bennet was one rambling dissertation containing a smattering of valuable details amid the bizarre euphemisms and placations that they would somehow survive the ordeal!
Their mother had not once mentioned pleasure or enjoyment, nor hinted that such was possible.
Considering how a simple kiss made her feel, Lizzy had instinctively known her mother had been missing something.
Additionally, Lizzy believed that with greater intimacy, the delightful sensations thus far experienced with William would multiply.
Merely thinking of him gave her tingles!
After the interlude with William that day, and her wild desire to have him make love to her on the sofa, there was no denying the obvious.
He had said, “I want you,” and she knew precisely what he meant.
Mysteries remained, however—and a fair amount of fear.
Now, finally, the answers were within her grasp.
Shaking off the uncomfortable visions of her aunt and uncle engaged in the act itself—no less nausea inducing than envisioning her parents—Lizzy vowed to overcome her embarrassment and take advantage of her aunt’s willingness to enlighten.
If only I could shake off the disquiet caused by the “whatever their prior experience” comment.
“Your admonition is received, Aunt. We must cease being silly girls. If we cannot speak of intimacy with another female, one whom we trust, then how will we do so with our gentlemen. Right, Jane?”
Jane had gathered herself, her face once again composed with only a faint rosiness remaining.
Her hands clenched into tight fists upon her lap, the knuckles blanched from the strain of bravely facing an awkward topic, but her voice was steady.
“I agree with Lizzy. Mr. Bingley deserves a wife who will know how to please him.”
Mrs. Gardiner chuckled softly. “Oh, trust me when I assure that a man is easy to please! A woman does not have to do all that much. Nevertheless, there are ways to improve the experience, for both of you, and the results are worth the effort. Being in love, as each of you is with your intendeds and they with you, is an incredible benefit. Mr. Gardiner and I did not have that in our favor in the beginning, yet we managed quite capably. As time passed and we grew to love each other, our intimate relationship improved profoundly.”
“You and Uncle have always been so affectionate,” Jane said. “I am quite astonished to hear it was not always so.”
“We were fond of each other, but our marriage was one of convenience and mutual necessity more than affection. Have I never told you the story?” They shook their heads in tandem. “Well, my word! It isn’t all that exciting, but may prove helpful to the subject.”
She explained how her father had endured a chronic illness, and after her mother died and siblings had left the house, she, as the youngest, assumed his care.
“It wasn’t a sacrifice in truth. I had no suitors, loved my father dearly, and was overjoyed to run his business with him.
In time, I was keeping the shop on my own while nursing my father, and I thrived on the pace. ”
Her father, she explained, despite being forward-minded enough to include her as an equal in business, was old-fashioned in other ways.
Primarily, he worried for her future as a spinster once he passed on.
No matter how capable she was, a fact he was immensely proud of, or that her siblings were nearby and supportive, to his reckoning, a woman simply could not survive in the long term without a husband.
“He fretted over it so, bless his heart,” Mrs. Gardiner remembered, a warm smile on her lips. “To ease his heart, I bowed to his wishes.”