Chapter 2
Darcy watched Miss Elizabeth as she danced across from him. She was graceful and strong, and her movements mesmerized him. The expression on her face was equally appealing. She had that thoughtful look that often preceded her wittiest comments.
When she finally opened her mouth to speak, however, what came out was the farthest thing from charming that he had ever heard from her.
“I heard from Mr. Wickham that he is your father’s godson,” she said. “It makes me wonder why you did not even say hello when you saw him in Meryton the other day.”
Darcy was silent for several moments. She could not know the pain she was giving him by even broaching the subject, and he worked to maintain the stoic facade he was known for.
Before he could get himself under control, she looked away and said, “I apologize. I suppose it was rather forward and impertinent of me to inquire about your private life. It only makes sense that you would then turn your anger on me.”
He could not allow this to stand unchallenged. “No!” he said. “I assure you my anger was not directed towards you. You may ask anything you like. I was only having a bit of difficulty formulating a reply.”
“Because you were trying to determine which bits of your story make you look best?” she asked. “Or perhaps you were attempting to completely fabricate a suitable tale to avoid appearing shameful.”
Darcy was cut to the quick by the image she painted of him with these few words. Without thinking, he blurted out, “Of course not. I despise disguise, and I could never bring myself to appear before the world as anything other than what I am.”
Miss Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply, but their conversation was interrupted by the approach of Sir William Lucas.
Sir William was a knight who seemed to make it his purpose in life to be civil to all the world.
He was one of the few men in the area who seemed to ignore Darcy’s standoffish demeanor, speaking to him as if they were close acquaintances rather than merely strangers.
“What a pleasure it is to see the two of you dancing!” cried Sir William. “Mr. Darcy, you could not have chosen a better partner when gracing us all with the sight of your own rare skills upon the dancefloor. Miss Elizabeth certainly does you credit.”
Darcy did not know how to reply, but Miss Elizabeth said, “You are too good, sir.”
“I assure you, I am not,” replied Sir William. “You both deserve every ounce of praise possible. I do hope to have this pleasure repeated upon the engagement of your sister.” So saying, he glanced meaningfully at Miss Bennet and Bingley who were dancing together further down the line.
“I shall not detain you further, however,” continued Sir William. “I just wished to share with you how much I am enjoying the sight of so many excellent dancers.”
The friendly knight faded away. As he did so, Darcy turned his attention to Bingley in alarm.
He had not realized that his friend’s attentions to Miss Bennet had given rise to expectations in the neighborhood.
Perhaps, it was time to have a chat with his friend and make certain Bingley realized that Miss Bennet did not return his affection.
The two of them were chatting cheerfully as they danced. Miss Bennet certainly smiled enough at Bingley, but she often smiled, and Darcy could not detect any peculiar regard in her expression.
Eventually, he realized he was being rude to Miss Elizabeth. “Please excuse my absent-mindedness. What were we talking of?”
“I could not say, sir,” she replied, though her apparent anger said otherwise. “I cannot think of any two people in this room who have less to say for themselves than you and I.”
It pained Darcy to see it, but Miss Elizabeth was clearly putting up a wall between them. He desperately tried to think about what they had been discussing, but even when he remembered, he could not understand why she would take so much offense at his words.
He wished he could explain why he was so reluctant to speak of Wickham, but without her acknowledgment that they had been talking about him, Darcy would find it exceedingly awkward to bring the subject back up.
He decided to leave it alone. If Miss Elizabeth would not speak to him, at the very least he could still have the pleasure of being near her and watching her dance.
The rest of their set passed mostly in silence. There were a few general comments between them about the ball but nothing of consequence.
Miss Elizabeth did not wait for him to escort her off the dance floor.
Instead, she simply walked away. He watched her go, wishing he could follow.
But her own clear reluctance to be in his company combined with his reluctance to allow his feelings for the young lady to become entangled further made it impossible to pursue her.
Thus, he merely watched her, just as he had done for the past month or more.
Darcy was relieved when it was finally time for supper. At last, he could do something other than stand around and watch, even if it was merely eating.
It was not the pleasant experience he had hoped for, however. By the time supper was finally served, it was clear that Bingley’s generosity with his wine was beginning to affect most of the guests. They were louder and more vulgar than Darcy had ever seen them.
Darcy attempted to tune it all out and focus on his food, but he was suddenly accosted by the young man who had caused such a ruckus during the first dance, the one who had caused Miss Elizabeth so much embarrassment.
“Please forgive me for introducing myself,” said the man, “but given that I am your exalted aunt’s parson, I feel it incumbent on myself to tell you that Lady Catherine de Bourgh was in the best of health a week and two days ago when I last saw her.
Miss de Bourgh, your betrothed, was also in reasonable health, not particularly energetic, but doing well enough. ”
“And who are you?” asked Darcy in his most forbidding tone.
“Ah, forgive me,” cried the man. “I am William Collins. Your aunt has preferred me to a comfortable living at Hunsford, and I will forever be grateful to her. As an expression of the honor I hold her in, I merely wished to make myself available to be of service to you, her dear nephew, in any way I possibly can.”
“I thank you for the news,” said Darcy, “but I must tell you that I am not engaged to my cousin.”
He tried to use the most dismissive tone he could muster to get this parson to go away, but the man would not take a hint.
“I would not wish to put myself forward in any way or contradict you on such a sensitive subject, but I am certain Lady Catherine has spoken of your engagement and impending nuptials many times. I cannot be mistaken on such a subject. Now, if there is anything I can do for you while we both reside in the same neighborhood, please do not hesitate to tell me. I would be most pleased to be of assistance to you.”
“You can do one thing,” said Darcy. He was unwilling to argue the point about his engagement with such a stubbornly ignorant man, so he merely said, “You can leave. Go back to your party.”
“Of course, of course,” Mr. Collins said. “Thank you for your kindness in listening to me.”
Mr. Collins bowed excessively and went back to where the Bennets were sitting, taking a seat next to Miss Elizabeth.
Despite Miss Elizabeth’s clear disdain for the man, Mr. Collins seemed to exercise the same inability to read her expression as he did with Darcy.
Instead of being offended by her manner, he seemed to lean into her in a rather possessive sort of way.
A beast of jealousy and rage leapt up in Darcy’s heart. He tried to repress it. After all, he had no claim on Miss Elizabeth. If he was unwilling to pursue her, he could not complain if she was pursued by another. The beast within his chest, however, would not be quelled with reason.
Darcy stood up from the table and went to pace along one side of the room. He desperately wished he could simply leave, but he refused to show such disrespect to his friend.
As he neared one corner, he heard Mr. Bennet and Sir William conversing. “It certainly looks as though you will be losing your eldest daughter to marriage soon enough,” said Sir William.
Darcy slowed so he could hear more of the conversation. He wished to have more information concerning how the neighborhood perceived Bingley’s behavior.
“Perhaps,” said Mr. Bennet. “Young Bingley has said nothing specific, but he is certainly paying marked attention to Jane. Other young men have done the same, however, and it all came to nothing, so I cannot say how that affair will end. I can tell you that I will almost certainly be giving Elizabeth away soon.”
“I noticed Mr. Collins’ attention in that quarter,” said Sir William. “It is rather difficult to miss, but I had thought Elizabeth to be rather opposed to such a match.”
“Opposed or not, she will have to go along with it,” said Mr. Bennet.
“I am not getting any younger, and despite the fact that Jane has been out for seven years, she is still unmarried. My daughters and my wife need some kind of future security. Thus, though it will make her unhappy, I will have to insist that Elizabeth accept Mr. Collins’ offer when he undoubtedly makes it. ”
The jealousy and rage Darcy already felt intensified to an unholy degree, causing his vision to go red temporarily. The only way to prevent himself from making a ridiculous scene was to simply walk out of the room.
In the cool, dark, quiet hallway, Darcy paced.
As he paced, he remembered all the many times he had observed Miss Elizabeth. Every time they were in company together, his eyes followed her almost against his own will. He had listened to her conversation simply because he enjoyed her ready wit and cheerful voice.
He thought back on how much happiness and pleasure Miss Elizabeth had given him. Other than Bingley, she was the only person in this county whose company he thoroughly enjoyed.
Then, his mind moved forward to her future.
He had seen enough of Mr. Collins to know that a clever, intelligent, independent lady like Miss Elizabeth would likely be stifled under such a man’s thumb.
Mr. Collins had an odd form of arrogance, apparently born of his pride in his status as parson for Lady Catherine, as evidenced by the fact that he had possessed the temerity to introduce himself to Darcy, who was multiple layers above him in society.
Such arrogance could not suffer his wife to outshine him, as Miss Elizabeth undoubtedly would. Her light, her happiness would be sacrificed on the altar of his humble arrogance.
And Darcy would have to bear witness to it every time he visited his aunt.
He would have to look on as she was inevitably embarrassed by his awkwardness or as she covered up or mitigated his errors in judgment.
He would have to watch her light dim over the years, and he would have to hope that it would never be snuffed out completely.
A small part of Darcy’s mind knew he was making sweeping generalizations about Mr. Collins.
He barely knew the man, after all. But he did not care.
Whether the details were correct or not, what mattered was that the brightest jewel in all of England was about to be offered to the most annoying man Darcy had ever conversed with.
Darcy did not return to the dining room or the ballroom.
He did not think he could maintain his self-control if he placed himself either in Mr. Collins’ or Mr. Bennet’s company.
Instead, he retired to his bedroom. His valet was surprised to see him so early, but he helped him into a nightshirt and was happy to retire earlier than expected.
Darcy, however, did not retire. He alternated between pacing the room and sitting and staring at the fire, all the while wondering what he should do, or even if he should do anything at all.
By the time dawn arrived, he knew what he needed to do, but he continued to puzzle out the best way to go about it. He finally fell asleep just after dawn, but he awoke only a couple hours later.
At ten, his valet woke and helped him dress. Then, he went down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. On a day like today, after such a late night, breakfast would not likely be served before noon. So, he grabbed a couple of rolls and headed to the stables to have his horse saddled.
When he entered the stables, he was momentarily surprised to see the carriage horses missing. Then he remembered that Bingley had to go to London for a few days. He must have left fairly early.
By the time Darcy’s horse was ready, his rolls were gone. He climbed on and began the three-mile journey to Longbourn.