Chapter Fifteen #3
I return to London tomorrow; my time at Netherfield has been most disheartening.
I wished to send you good news, but, instead, I fear my expectations were unreasonable.
Mr. Bingley, however, will be more successful.
I have told Bingley I will return to Netherfield in ten days, but those plans may change.
My heart may not permit me to know failure again.
It grieves me to say that Elizabeth will not be returning to Pemberley with me.
I know this was your wish as much as it was mine. I know not what else to do.
Fitzwilliam
When Bingley entered the morning room, finding Darcy dressed for a journey brought a surprise to his friend’s countenance. “Darcy, it appears you plan to leave Netherfield today?”
“I do, Bingley.” Darcy had spent a restless night languishing over what he would say to his best friend.
“Why must you leave so soon? Are you not satisfied at Netherfield? I know country society does not appeal to you, but I hoped you would find it more pleasurable this time.”
“Bingley,” Darcy established the tone of what he would confide. “Would you please join me at the table? I have something important to impart.”
“Darcy, you sound so deliberate.” His friend cautiously approached the table and slid into a chair.
“Bingley, I am not leaving Netherfield because of country society. In fact, I have been served an education. Some parts of the country can be very agreeable.” The ambiguity of Darcy’s speech obviously confused Bingley, but Darcy could not seem to bring himself to leave thoughts of Elizabeth behind.
“I do have business to address in London, but that is not my main reason for leaving. After I say what I must confess to you, you will desire my going.”
“Darcy, this speech lacks sensibility; I could never turn away a friend such as you have proved to be.”
“I have been a deplorable friend, Bingley. You trusted me unwisely.”
“Darcy …?” he began, but Darcy dismissed Bingley’s protest with a flick of his wrist.
“Please, Bingley, I must say this while I still possess my nerve. I presented you a disservice.” Uncertain where the conversation led, Bingley sat unresponsive.
“I conspired with your sisters last fall to separate you from Miss Bennet. I did so because I considered you to be my dearest friend, and I believed at the time Miss Bennet was indifferent and did not desire your affection, but that is no excuse for what I executed.”
“Darcy,” Bingley said incredulously. His friend was immediately on his feet and pacing the room.
“Am I to understand you kept me from Miss Bennet with some sort of deceit? How could you? You of all people! You recognized how I felt about the lady! You consulted your will and made it mine without my permission. You brought me pain, and what is worse, you wounded Miss Bennet!”
“Bingley, you are correct to be so upset. I am without reason. My conceit in thinking I knew what was best for you is unforgivable.” Darcy realized he likely ruined forever his relationship with Charles Bingley.
Several minutes passed before Bingley spoke again.
“Darcy, I am not assured how I will be able to forgive you, but I must assume some of the blame in this matter. This much I know: My nature is too changeable. What you did, you completed in my name, and I permitted it to happen. I should have returned to Netherfield as I planned. I have known that fact for a long time. I should have been man enough to seize my own happiness.”
Darcy regretted his part in Bingley’s pain, but his conscience would not permit him to tell Bingley only half-truths. “Bingley, you are excellent to offer your absolution; yet, I have another confession.”
Bingley’s countenance displayed his vexation. He was seeing Darcy for the first time. Turning his disappointment on Darcy, he said, “Please continue.”
Darcy lifted his head to meet his companion’s dark, lethal gaze.
“Miss Bennet was in London last winter for nearly three months. She stayed with Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. Miss Bennet sent word to Caroline and even called at your Town house one day. Caroline, with my permission, gave Miss Bennet a cut by not returning the visit for many weeks. She led Miss Bennet to believe you were interested in Georgiana. I was aware of the lady’s presence in London, but I told you not.
Again, in my defense, I had witnessed your falling in and out of love so often I did not judge your affections to be constant.
Since the time I realized you and Miss Bennet were meant to be together, I have attempted to turn back the clock. ”
“Darcy, you have overextended your influence on my life. It is no wonder Miss Bennet sees me as being a lothario.” Bingley’s hands fisted at his side, and Darcy did not blame the man.
If the situation were reversed, he would have planted his friend a facer.
Yet, even in the tension-filled room, Darcy found hope.
Bingley, evidently, did not observe the true regard for his friend that Darcy easily recognized in Jane Bennet’s countenance.
“Bingley,” Darcy smiled tentatively. “Miss Bennet, if I may be allowed one last judgment, loves no one but you.”
Bingley protested, “She can not! She must think me a cad—think me to be indifferent to her!”
“Charles, there are not many things of which I am absolutely certain, but the constancy of Miss Bennet’s heart is one of the few things upon which I would venture a gamble.
At Hunsford, Miss Elizabeth reprimanded me for my misgivings regarding the lady, and the Gardiners have shown me how thoughtful Miss Bennet can be.
I came to Netherfield to observe Miss Bennet’s reactions to your renewed entreaties.
Her love still rests in you, Charles, if you are willing to ask her. ”
“Ask her? Ask her what?” Bingley nearly shouted.
“Ask her to marry you, Bingley,” Darcy said confidently. “Miss Bennet will accept you.”
Bingley frowned. “How can you be so assured? I am not of the same mind, and it is I to whom you reportedly believe the lady directs her attention!”
Darcy sucked in a deep breath as the vivid memory of Elizabeth Bennet flared in his mind.
“You are too close to observe the look in the lady’s eyes when you walk into the room.
Most men would give their life for one such glimpse.
The lady stirs your soul, Charles; with Miss Bennet you can share your innermost self with respect and dignity.
You can wait; you can postpone, but if I were you, I would grab ‘happiness’ with both hands and ask Miss Bennet to marry me. ”
A faint smile touched his friend’s lips. “The lady will say ‘yes’; will she not, Darcy?” Bingley appeared awestruck by the realization of what Darcy shared.
“Miss Bennet will say ‘yes,’ Charles.”
Bingley began to pace, to spin, to stop, and to start all over again. “If Miss Bennet agrees, Darcy, then you will be completely forgiven.” Bingley laughed nervously.
“Then I am forgiven,” Darcy smiled. “You will send me news of your happiness, but pray, write legibly.”
“I will send you my fate.” Bingley could not control his thoughts, but then he recalled his sisters’ parts in his misery.
“I hope you predicted Miss Bennet’s response accurately, Darcy, for it will offer me an opportunity for revenge when I demand Caroline and Louisa present Jane her proper due as my wife.
They believe me to be with you at Pemberley.
What I would give to see their faces when they read that I am at Netherfield, and I have offered Miss Bennet my hand. ”
Darcy retrieved his gloves from a nearby table. He shook Bingley’s hand and then slapped him on the back. “I must leave you now, Bingley.”
“When will you return? If Miss Bennet accepts, will you stand up with me?”
“Although I do not deserve your honest consideration, it would be my honor, Bingley. I will return within a fortnight; your fate should be decided by then.”
Darcy claimed his hat and walking stick and headed for the waiting carriage. Bingley followed close behind. At the carriage, Darcy turned, and Bingley extended his hand. “Friend,” he said.
Darcy firmly grasped the offered hand. “Friend,” came his thankful reply.
There was little to do in London, but Darcy did not care.
His mind could not be happily employed. He went to the theatre one evening, for his spirits desired the solitude and silence, which only a crowd could provide to a man of his nature.
A protégé of David Garrick performed magnificently, but the drama The Chances reminded Darcy of Elizabeth, for, like the character’s jealousy, Darcy remained jealous of the possibility of anyone else having Elizabeth as his wife.
At Longbourn, they had not spoken beyond common civilities.
He had once believed their hearts were intertwined, and nothing could come between them.
Their natures so similar—their understanding so perfect—he could never imagine their not finding each other.
It was impossible for him to forget how to love Elizabeth, but the fact was, when they last met, she did not appear to want to be near enough for conversation—near enough to him.
Darcy convinced himself that Elizabeth did not return his regard.
He had no choice but to put distance between them.
The distance between Pemberley and Longbourn was one kind of distance, but he must also build a wall around his heart.
Darcy was Bingley’s friend; Bingley would marry Miss Bennet.
Darcy could not avoid seeing Elizabeth …
but he could force himself to be indifferent.
After a week, a dispatch arrived from Bingley. It read …
28 September
Darcy,
You are forgiven. Miss Bennet said “yes.” My fate is sealed! We await your return to Netherfield. Your humble servant …
Bingley