Chapter Seventeen
“Everything in his favor …”
AT LAST CAME THE DAY WHEN THE BENNETS WELCOMED HIM AT LONGbourn.
Mrs. Bennet offered him every deference for his opinions.
The lady was beside herself at having two daughters so well placed.
Miss Jane Bennet at Netherfield was one thing, but having Elizabeth at Pemberley would be an honor for the whole family.
Mr. Bennet sought Darcy’s opinion again on the estate affairs.
He and Elizabeth’s father walked out over some of the property, and Darcy’s sharp eye for details appeared to impress Mr. Bennet.
The two also spent time discussing the marriage settlements.
All in all, it was a perfect beginning for his new role in Elizabeth’s life.
“Mr. Darcy,” Mr. Bennet said, as they sat in Longbourn’s library, “Elizabeth has told me of your part in saving my other daughters’ reputations and your dealings with Mr. Wickham. It is my intention to repay you, sir, for your efforts.”
Darcy knew this conversation was inevitable.
“My part in Mrs. Wickham’s marriage was nothing I could not afford.
I freely admit to doing so for selfish reasons.
To provide relief to Elizabeth was my motivation.
I never wanted the Bennet family to feel an obligation to repay me.
I desired her love, not her gratitude. You repaid me tenfold by giving me your daughter.
Share your respect with me as Elizabeth’s husband and keep your money, Mr. Bennet. ”
Bennet chuckled. “Elizabeth also tells me you took great amusement in choosing Newcastle for Mr. Wickham’s commission.”
“It was the best I could do on short notice,” Darcy said with a hint of amusement.
“Mr. Darcy, your value as a son is increasing by the moment. Of course, you will have to go some to catch up with Mr. Wickham. I am afraid I have a propensity for choosing amusing characters such as our own Mr. Collins and Mr. Wickham as my favorites. The only foolish thing I can say of you is you presented two of the most frivolous people in England your money, but you have made up for it by falling in love with my Lizzy.” Darcy was not accustomed to such tongue-in-cheek teasing from a gentleman, but he would learn to accept Bennet’s irreverence.
In the early afternoon Darcy and Elizabeth finally found themselves alone. They sat together in the copse. Darcy reached behind him and brought out a wrapped package. He handed it tentatively to Elizabeth. “I brought something for you with me from London.”
“William,” she started, and then he observed the quizzical look crossing her features. “How did you know I would accept you? Would you have given me this package if I refused you?”
“There are many things I plan to present to you, Elizabeth, but what is in this package, I could not bear for you to share with anyone else.”
She looked at him suspiciously as she unwrapped the string and turned back the paper. Her fingers caressed the delicate lace, and he watched her eyes well up as she rubbed her hand gently over the package. Without warning, she hugged his neck tightly. “How did you know?” she whispered in his ear.
Darcy held her, gently stroking her back as she collapsed against him.
Finally, he moved her away so he could tell her how he came by the lace.
“Last April, several weeks after I departed Rosings, Colonel Fitzwilliam noted you in London with Miss Lucas and Miss Bennet. He did not approach because he had trained recruits all day and was not presentable, but he observed your choice of this lace. That night the good colonel arrived at Darcy House because Georgiana feared I would go mad if I did not speak to someone of my anguish.” He stroked each of her delicate fingers as he spoke softly.
“My cousin teased me with tales of seeing you. I was in such turmoil, I did the unthinkable: I drank a decanter of brandy and then confessed my love for the beautiful Elizabeth Bennet.” He smiled briefly at her, for he rarely remembered seeing her so somber.
“I told him everything—of that first proposal—and the letter. As I literally crawled into bed that evening, I called out to him to ask from which merchant I could find the lace. Colonel Fitzwilliam laughed and told me he would make the arrangements for me. The good colonel knew I would want it. Elizabeth Bennet had chosen it but had not purchased it for some reason for which there was no explanation. The colonel knew I loved you even then. I kept it for you.”
“William, when I saw this lace in London, I kept thinking you were somewhere close by and thinking ill of me. By that time, I had read your letter at least a dozen times, and I knew if not for my prejudices, I could be choosing this very lace for my wedding. I returned to the fine cloth several times, but I did not purchase it because I thought you were lost to me forever. I was discovering myself—how I judged people—how I judged you. You had offered me an honor with your proposal. I foolishly threw your love away. It was the first time I admitted to myself I carried any feelings for you.”
“Then the lace was meant for you, Elizabeth,” he whispered as he placed a strand of hair behind her ear.
She reached for the hair at the back of his neck, rubbing her finger along the shirt line.
“I am in the habit of telling Jane that the problem with our parents’ marriage was Mama always waited for Papa to make a gesture of his affection.
She is a very foolish woman, but as much as I adore my father, I believe she wants only some of his attention—the things he showed her when they were first married.
They forgot what brought them together. You have given me more today than my parents have presented to each other in years.
You obtained the lace for a woman who had thoroughly abused you.
What did I ever do to deserve your love?
You thought kindly of a woman without ever knowing she would love you in return. ”
Darcy took her hand and brought it to his lips.
“Elizabeth,” he too hesitated before saying what he now realized, “you will be—we will be wiser—my parents loved in a manner appropriate for their time and station, but they only showed regard for our relations, leaving me with my false pride. You admire your father’s abilities and are grateful for his approval, but you understand, although you love his wit, it has its limitations.
Do not second-guess. Being his daughter does not mean you will make Mr. Bennet’s mistakes any more than I will make those belonging to my father.
We are not our parents. Our love will be freer, more open—more hopeful.
You are more vulnerable because you love life.
That is one of the many reasons I am so proud to call you mine. ”
She nodded in affirmation as he spoke. The shift of her shoulders and the glint of her eyes told him she was prepared to face their life together, devoid of the apprehension she had experienced.
In due time, playfulness rose again. “When did you know you cared for me? How could you begin? I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a beginning; but what could have set you off in the first place?”
“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun.”
“My beauty you early withstood, and as for my manners—my behavior to you was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. Now, be sincere. Did you admire me for my impertinence?”
“I believe it was your wit—the liveliness of your mind of which I first took note.”
“You may call it impertinence, for it was very little else. The fact is, you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking, and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused and interested you because I was so unlike them. There. I have saved you the trouble of accounting for it. To be sure, you knew no actual good of me, but nobody thinks of that when he falls in love.”
Darcy loved the quickness of her mind, and he teased in return. “I pray thee now, tell me for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love?”
Elizabeth recognized the familiar Shakespearean lines offered up by Benedick and Beatrice. “For them all together: which maintained so politic a state of evil they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?”
Darcy’s laugh came easily. The woman stirred him in unfamiliar ways. He presented a countenance of false hurt. “Suffer love! A good epithet! I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will.”
“In spite of your heart, I think, alas, poor heart!” Her hand rested on his chest.
He touched her chin with his finger. It was the same gesture he used with Georgiana.
“Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.” He pulled her to him once again.
They would find happiness in such shared moments.
Eventually, he released her and assumed a more serious tone, then said, “I told your father that your affectionate behavior for Miss Bennet when she was ill at Netherfield touched my heart. I wanted a person such as you to be Georgiana’s sister. ”
She turned to him. “Why, when you came to Longbourn, were you so shy and did not speak to me? Even when you dined with my family, you looked as though you did not care for me.”
“I attempted to read your countenance, and you were grave and silent. You provided me no encouragement.”
“I was the same as when you first found me at Pemberley. I was embarrassed.”
“And so was I.”
“You might have talked to me more when you came to supper.”
“A man who felt less might.”