Chapter Twenty-Two
“A woman especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.”
DARCY WAS AT HIS DESK IN HIS STUDY WHEN BOTH ELIZABETH AND Georgiana entered.
“William,” Elizabeth said, so excited she rushed to his side, “Georgiana and I were going through some of your mother’s things.
We came across a ledger and some notes about an annual celebration Lady Anne held for the tenants between Christmastide and Twelfth Night. Do you recall those?”
“Assuredly, but that was years prior. They ceased with her death.” Remembering his mother brought him a renewed sadness, one he had not felt since returning to Pemberley.
“If you hold no objections, Georgiana and I wish to restore the tradition.”
Georgiana said tentatively, “William, months prior, you said you would share your memories of our mother with me. May we start with this tradition?”
He stood to embrace his sister. “My memories are those of a young boy, but you remind me more of our mother each day—the way you turn your head and that look when you are excited about something for the first time. Georgiana, I do not object to your desire to honor our mother, but will you and Elizabeth be able to organize this in such a short time?”
Elizabeth argued, “I have nothing of responsibility for our gathering on New Year’s nor for decorating the house for Christmastide.
Mrs. Reynolds has seen to all those details.
Georgiana and I both wish to be a part of your vision for Pemberley.
May we begin with reestablishing your mother’s connection to this estate? ”
“How may I refuse the three women I have loved?” But Darcy’s cautious reserve betrayed his doubts. “Our mother loved this estate. She was devoted to preserving it. Please keep this simple. Read our mother’s notes, Georgiana. She knew what was best for our home.”
“We will, William. Come, Elizabeth, we have much to do. Thank you, brother.” His sister gave him a quick kiss.
“Thank you, William.” Elizabeth’s embrace revealed their shared passions.
“We shall honor your mother’s memory. I promise.
” The women left him with his doubts and his sense of dread.
Neither Elizabeth nor Georgiana had experience with such arrangements.
He hoped for no regrets, but Darcy feared disaster.
“Elizabeth, my mother’s notes provide me little information about the actual event,” Georgiana’s frustration showed.
“I have asked Mrs. Reynolds what she remembers. She said the tenants and some of the villagers came to Pemberley in the afternoon to pay their respects to your parents. Your family greeted them, and everyone was given cider. The children were presented with hard candy. This took place in the stable and barn area, I believe. A section was blocked off, cleaned out, and tables were set up for the refreshments. Some traditional music was played, but that is all Mrs. Reynolds could recall. It has been too many years for her to remember the exact details. It was before she assumed many of her current duties.”
“That confirms what I have discovered in my mother’s notes, but I had envisioned something more. Without wishing to belie my mother’s memory, this is a disappointment. I thought it would be more elaborate. My parents held a reputation for their generosity.”
“Georgiana, your mother lived in a different time. What she did was appropriate for her reign as Pemberley’s mistress, but we may choose to do what is appropriate for our time.
” Unfortunately, Elizabeth’s assurance came across stronger than what she felt: She had yet to learn how to be a part of Pemberley.
“Would William agree to our changes?”
“I promised we would honor your mother’s memory. That is what I intend to do. Is that not your intention also?”
“I hope you are correct. I would never wish to upset William.”
Nearly a week passed before Darcy had a sense of what Georgiana and Elizabeth planned.
Therefore, when he stormed into Elizabeth’s sitting room, he took her by surprise.
He discovered his sister, Mrs. Annesley, and Elizabeth busying themselves creating pieces of needlework to be presented to the cottagers.
Darcy, of the nature to control everything dealing with his estate, found his lack of knowledge of the events disconcerting.
He planned Pemberley’s future by teaching Elizabeth its workings.
He knew not what upset him. He could not explain why he felt betrayed, but not having control over the celebration caused him consternation, and he overreacted.
“Elizabeth, what is all this?” Various items of clothing littered the room.
“I thought we agreed to keep this celebration simple! This does not appear simple!”
“William, Georgiana and I thought this through. We know what we are doing! Please do not speak to me in that tone. I am not a simpleton!” She jumped to her feet to meet his attack, for his censure had touched a nerve.
If he had realized her self-doubts, Darcy would have tread more softly, but he still placed his family’s reputation above his reason.
“Mrs. Reynolds tells me you ordered items removed from the public rooms because you intend to use those for the gathering. What is wrong with the barn area my mother used? Did you not think you should seek my permission before you rearranged my house for your celebration?” His words harmed her.
Darcy saw her stiffen and the fire rise to her eyes.
He really did not mean what he said, but his foolish pride would not permit him to apologize immediately.
At all costs, he must save face before his sister.
“William,” her words came out like cold daggers, “I do not know which brings me more pain: the knowledge this is exclusively your house or the knowledge you do not trust me to make decisions which affect our future.” Tears filled Elizabeth’s eyes before she stormed from the room. He knew instant regret.
Darcy turned to look at his sister. Both she and Mrs. Annesley remained suspended in the moment when one sees a destructive act but cannot prevent the catastrophe.
Neither woman raised her eyes to him, avoiding his disapprobation.
They did not move. Their needles pierced the material but did not complete the loop.
Darcy stood there staring at them, heaving in anger at Elizabeth, but also himself, and seeking answers they did not know.
Finally, he strode from the room, slamming the door on his way out.
Darcy sequestered himself in the library, brooding and replaying his actions in his head.
He heard Georgiana’s light tread but hoped she would leave him to his anger.
Purposely, he turned so as not to be required to speak to her.
Instead of leaving, she came around his chair and sat on the floor at his feet, placing her head on his knee.
Instinctively, he lightly stroked her hair.
They sat as such for several minutes before Darcy broke the silence.
“I suppose you came to tell me I acted foolishly.”
“I would never contradict you, brother. You must judge your actions.”
“A very diplomatic response,” he chuckled ironically.
“Instead, I came to speak of our mother. Do you remember anything about our mother which was not pleasing?”
“There are no memories of such for me.” He continued to caress his sister’s head as she rested on his leg.
“Then our mother was perfect?”
Darcy stopped stroking her hair, and she raised her head to look at him. “It is not likely,” he said slowly, “that our mother made no mistakes.” He sat in contemplation realizing his folly. “I think I understand your implications.”
“William, by today’s standards, our mother did very little for our tenants.
I have read her notes, and I was disillusioned.
People, when they remember those who are passed, select the memories they will keep of the person.
Your memories of our mother are idealistic.
She passed before you came of age to realize she was not perfect.
Mrs. Darcy cannot live up to such perfection.
She will always be found wanting. If you allow this rift to go on too long, you will lose Elizabeth’s love. ”
“Do you believe our argument to be that severe?”
“This was not a simple fight. A crack in your joint affection occurred today. For the first time, you and Elizabeth distrusted each other’s judgments.
If something is not done immediately, this break will forever plague your time together.
Neither you nor Elizabeth can change your natures.
Moreover, our parents lived in a different time—you have said so often.
If you wished things the same, you should have chosen someone other than Elizabeth.
Do not force Elizabeth to be someone she is not.
Did you not fall in love with her because she was not what you expected, but rather what you required? ”
“How do I wipe away the injury I caused her?” His self-reproach arrived.
“I do not know what you should say, but I would suggest that you act soon.”
Realizing his foolishness, Darcy assisted Georgiana to her feet, caressed her cheek, and then departed to find his wife.
He found her sequestered in her dressing room.
He entered the room from his bedroom and stood in the doorway for a long time, wondering what he could say or do to remove the pain he had caused, but she did not move or acknowledge his presence.
Eventually, she stood and walked towards him.
“Excuse me, Mr. Darcy,” she said as she started past him, “even though this is your house, I assume as your wife I am permitted the privacy of my quarters.”
Darcy caught her arm. “Please, Elizabeth, allow me to explain, I did not mean …”