9. Lilian
CHAPTER 9
Lilian
I stared at my reflection in the mirror, barely recognizing the woman looking back at me. The morning after was filled with a palpable tension neither of us knew how to navigate. I hadn’t expected Reid and I to both finally give in to what we both desired finally and clear that weight that had been hanging over us of what was real and what was just an act. The night had changed everything and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I could still feel the heat of Reid’s kiss lingering on my lips, his touch imprinted on my skin, but the weight of what we’d just shared hung over us.
As I lay in bed my mind raced with thoughts. The dare had been a playful game, something light-hearted. The lines now had definitely blurred and the stakes had changed. I had been running away from feelings for so long, scared of letting someone in and getting hurt again, but with Reid, I wasn’t sure how to hold back anymore. He had made me feel things I wasn’t ready for. I glanced over at Reid as he sat on the edge of the bed with his hands in his head and couldn’t help replaying the way he played with my body with his masterful touch like he had been trained in the art of seduction. The usual easy-going confidence he carried had been replaced with a quiet uncertainty that was eating away at me. I could see it in his posture—the way his shoulders were slightly hunched, as if he was carrying a burden, he wasn’t sure how to share.
“Reid, we need to talk.” I said softly. He looked up at me, his gray eyes swirling with emotion.
“I know.” Reid sighed. “I didn’t expect things to go this far with Paisley and this whole National Day Dare. I need you to know that I haven’t pretended for a long time. I… Lilian… I can’t ignore this pull between us but I don’t know how to make this right. I want something real with you.”
“I’m scared, Reid,” I confessed, my voice barely a whisper. “Honestly, this is new territory for us both. We both have been hurt in the past and the gossip—” I began as Reid moved closer to me, his hand finding mine and squeezing it gently, cutting me off mid-sentence.
“I get that. I’ve been running from anything real for a long time because I’m scared of getting hurt too but I know I’m not going to find what I want unless I face that fear. The only people that matter here are us. The gossips can say what they like. I’m going to talk to Paisley too. I think things just got taken too far. This could have hurt someone really badly.” Reid’s thumb brushed over the back of my hand; his touch so tender it made my heart ache. I wanted to trust him, but the walls I had built around myself weren’t coming down so easily. And yet… the way he spoke, the way he looked at me, made me want to believe in something more. “I’m not asking you to jump in with both feet,” he continued, his voice low. “I just want you to know that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. Whatever this is, I’m willing to take it slow and to move at your pace even if that means giving back the ring.”
I glanced down at my hand and sighed. The weight of the solitaire feeling comforting and perfect—right where it belonged. If I was honest just like when Reid held me or squeezed my hand. It was only the mounting fear and panic that was holding me back but that would take time and trust to eventually overcome. I deserved to be happy. So did he…so why not let fate be.
I nodded, squeezing his hand back. “I’m willing to try too. But we have to be honest with each other. I can’t do this if we’re not.”
“I can be honest. But I’ll warn you… it might not always be easy.” Reid gave a soft laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing just a little.
“I think I can handle that,” I replied, a small smile tugging at my lips.
We sat in silence for a moment, just holding hands as we both tried to process everything that had changed between us. The morning light streamed in through the window, casting soft shadows over the room and for the first time in a long while, I felt a sense of peace. The sound of my phone buzzing broke the spell and as I reached for it, I groaned when I saw Paisley’s name flashing on the screen.
“She’s probably wondering where I disappeared to last night,” I muttered, showing Reid the screen as he wiggled his eyebrows.
“Want me to answer it? I do need to have a chat with her anyway.”
“Don’t you dare, you can do that in your own time.” I uttered, pressing the answer button. “Hey, Pais.”
“Lilian Raeflower!” Her voice practically vibrated through the speaker. “You and Reid disappeared last night and I want details. Are you okay? Are you still with him? Was there?—”
“I’m fine,” I cut her off as the heat instantly rose in the room as I noticed the way Reid watched me with undisguised amusement. “And yes, Reid is... here.”
“Oh. My. God.” Paisley squealed loudly. So much so that I had to pull the phone away from my ear or risk my hearing. “I knew it! Wait until I tell?—”
“Don’t you dare tell anyone,” I interrupted again, panic rising within me as I sucked in a deep breath. “Paisley, I mean it. Reid and I... we’re still figuring this out. We don’t want to become a spectacle.” Reid instantly reached for my free hand, interlacing our fingers in silent support at my words as the simple gesture seemed to ground me.
“Okay, okay,” Paisley conceded, though I could hear the excitement bubbling beneath her restraint. “Whatever you need. Just I thought?—”
“We need this time for us. I know you care and want what’s best but you have to trust that we know what we both need. Not the town gossip or you Pais.” I said nearly in a whisper hoping she understood where my words were coming from. A place of love and not disrespect. The two of us didn’t want people to meddle. We wanted the courtesy and respect that any couple would have when starting to date.
“I didn’t realize that—” Pais replied in a shocked tone. “I’m sorry if I pushed—” Her voice was close to cracking.
“Paisley, it’s okay.” I tried to tell her but I knew at the moment she needed time to think. “Please understand that Reid and I are okay.”
“Okay.” She whispered as she made her excuses to leave us alone. “I’ll make this right. Got to go.” The moment she hung up I flopped back against the pillows and let the tears fall down my cheeks.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for this. The whole town is going to be watching us. I didn’t mean to upset her.” I choked out as Reid laid next to me and pulled me close.
“I think it was just a shock to her. Pais, didn’t see or feel what we have been.” He confirmed out loud. “Now how about the two of us have a day where we do nothing but eat, drink and explore one another’s bodies?” Reid winked as I let out a giggle moving the hair from my face.
“Are you saying you want to play dirty with me, Mr. Belgrave?” I asked him.
“Ab-so-fucking-lutely, I am. Now how quickly can you take that skimpy little outfit off?” He growled out as I shook my head and wiggled my finger at him admiring the ring on my finger.
“Now as your fiancée I think I deserve a head start. Ready steady—” I began as I jumped off the edge of the bed and squinted my eyes ready for the chase.
“Go…” He finished as he jumped over the bed and was hot on my heels. “I hope you’re ready for me as I can’t wait to have you naked wearing nothing but that ring.”