5. Chapter 5
Chapter five
I pause slightly when I hear voices coming from Davey’s office.
The door is open, but the voices are hushed. The voices of lovers. Of promises being made. Of yearning. Of want.
Carter is smiling as he passes me just outside Davey’s office.
“Oh, hey TJ.”
“Hey.”
“Knee seems to be doing better?” He states with a slight question mark at the end.
I nod. “Yes, much, thanks.”
I tap slightly on Davey’s open door to get his attention as I take in the smile lingering on his lips and flush on his cheeks.
Davey was always broody and serious. All business, no nonsense, before Carter came along. He wasn’t a man you expected to see blushing in the middle of the day in his office.
What must that feel like? To be that happy. To have someone come by in the middle of the day and say hello. Kiss you enough to swell your lips and flush your cheeks amidst the sterile environment of a sports executive’s office. He steps behind his desk and sits in his chair so I can only wonder what the effect the kiss from Carter had on the fit of his trousers.
Before I can ponder that thought any further, the other thing I never expected from Davey rushes to me, all wiggly and waggly tailed, and presses herself against me.
Madison is a Redbone Coonhound Carter rescued from near death after a car hit her…and now she is at work with Davey nearly every day. I don’t have to know Davey well at all to know he never had a pet in his life until now. Carter tells stories of Davey calling her it for nearly two weeks while she was healing and then he caught Davey sitting on the floor talking to her like she was a person once. Davey has even called a sitter for her on more than one occasion, so he and Carter could go out to dinner or an event and not leave her alone.
She is a gorgeous dog. Leggy and muscular with brown eyes guaranteed to make you melt. Huge hound ears that you just can’t let go of and the howl that is unmistakable.
And Madison loves me.
She likes most everyone on the team, but she loves me. Seems I have the same effect on canine women as I do the human variety. Too bad for them. Currently, my interests have made a shift.
It’s been several weeks since those anthems and visions of Nandy still fill my head every night.
“You won’t give me his number, will you? And don’t tell me you don’t have it, because I know you do.”
Davey shakes his head.
“Why?”
“Because.” He pauses. “It’s not mine to give—”
“You can tell him I got it from someone else—”
“TJ, we aren’t kids,” Davey scolds me. “Why do you want it so badly? Why do you want him so badly? Because he hit on me, not you? TJ, have you ever felt attracted to a man before?”
“No. I’ve never seen a man like him before, either.” Davey smiles in understanding. He had been as blown away as I was seeing Nandy in all his glory in that pink suit. A suit I’m having dreams of removing from his body.
“Look, TJ, you’ve always been a player. You’ve had more women than you can count. I’m guessing you’ve done everything there is to do with a woman and you’re bored. You’re ready and willing to try something different. Am I wrong?”
“Yes,” I pause. I wish I could say he is wrong, very wrong. But he isn’t. “No…maybe…it doesn’t feel like that…I would never use a person as an experiment. That makes it sound like I would just throw him out with the trash when I’m done.”
Davey raises his eyebrows in a well, isn’t that your plan, question.
“That’s not who I am.”
He stays silent. I have a reputation, and I earned it. This feels different, though. I have had more women than I can count or even remember. I’m not quite at the rock star status that Travis was before Brittney, but I was next in line to that throne, and I stepped right up. Davey is right about one thing. I am bored. Bored with the quick hookup. Bored with the women who want my body or money. Bored with the women who just want to have bragging rights with their friends. Bored with women I have nothing in common with. Nothing to talk about with. I want to be with someone I get excited to see every night. Travis was at that point when he started hooking up with Brittney. He told me once he couldn’t believe how excited he was to see her. To talk to her. That they laid in bed and talked sometimes after sex and that was his favorite part.
I want that too. So what if the one I want that with is a man?
What difference does it make? And that I have no qualms about wanting a man. Doesn’t that say something?
“What about you and Carter? You never had a boyfriend around before him.”
Davey cocks a brow at me. I keep stroking Madison’s ears. She’s sitting leaning into my leg now, her tail still wagging with each touch of my fingers.
“Doesn’t mean I didn’t have a boyfriend.”
“Well, what made him worth it? How did you know?”
Davey sighs. “TJ, Carter and I have a complicated history. We don’t have a love at first sight, Hallmark movie love story.”
“Oh.”
I’ve treaded into some personal territory, and I know it’s none of my business. It’s not even that I care so much about their history. Maybe I just want him to tell me I will feel that someday, too.
“I’ve never loved anyone before,” I blurt out, my eyes on Madison, unwilling to make that admission while meeting Davey’s eyes. “I used to be proud of that. Thought it was some badge of honor.”
“And lately?”
“Lately…I just feel…well, I don’t feel anything. Empty, numb, alone.”
We sit in silence for a moment. Madison jumps onto the couch and lays out, her head in my lap, long legs stretched to the other end of the couch. Her eyes gazing up at me. Davey and I smile at her.
“Maybe I need a dog.” I stroke her fur and return my attention to Davey. “Is it so wrong that I want to see what it’s like to be with a man?”
“No, just make your intentions clear to whoever you end up with. Just because you find Nandy attractive doesn’t mean you are gay, TJ. And not every gay man wants to be some straight guy’s plaything, no matter how hot he is.”
I pause for a moment, my attention split between Davey and Madison when his words register. “You think I’m hot, Davis?”
“Get out of my office, Trevor.”
Getting Nandy’s number may have been my original plan. But suddenly I have a better idea. Looking at my watch, I stroll out of the main Grizzlies practice arena and across the street to Asgard—one of the soon to be three more rinks for training and local or regional games. College teams, the US national team and every kid in the region will eventually train and play all their games here.
I hear the whistles and skates scraping the ice as soon as I step through the double doors from the concourse to the arena.
Devyn is on the ice with Crystal next to her—one of her proteges who is now on the US National team and by her side coaching the next throng of young girls sure to be Olympians and professionals. Levi and Brady orchestrated the construction of this facility for her. Supposedly, Levi got pissed at our former head coach and bought the facility, so he has control over how it is used. Carter, who is an amazing architect, turned Levi’s vision into a major hockey compound that has become the envy of every team in the country, from kids to pros.
I make my way down to the bench and step behind it.
“To what do we owe this honor?” Devyn quips.
I raise my eyebrows. “I need a favor.”
“Of course you do…what do I get for it?”
I smirk at her. Since she is very married to a pair of men, I’m guessing what she will want is hockey related. “Me? On the ice with your girls?”
“Good answer.” She rests her chin on her stick and waits for my request.
“I need concert tickets, backstage, VIP tickets. Really, just one for me.”
She raises her head, confused and very amused. Devyn knows everyone from her PR days, so if anyone can make this happen, she can.
“Can you do that for me?”
“Probably. Text me the details,” she smiles and skates away.