37. Chapter 37
Chapter thirty-seven
You can hear a pin drop in the locker room.
Logan isn’t even yelling. We are all too shell-shocked to say anything. And where exactly do you begin the yelling after a 7-0 rout by a team we shutout twice during the regular season?
But this isn’t the regular season.
“You know, I usually like to find some positives to pull out of games,” Logan begins. His voice cold. “I like to tell you all the things that went right before diving into the things we need to improve on.
“But you know what…you didn’t do a damn thing right tonight.”
None of us have the guts to look up at him. He’s right. There was nothing positive to pull from the game we just played. Not one damn thing. Shaker lets out a shuddering breath next to me.
“So, this is what’s gonna happen. You’re going to go home, pack a bag and meet me back in here in two hours. We’re staying in a hotel tonight, having breakfast together, hitting the ice together, eating dinner together…and going out and winning the next fucking game together ! We will treat every game from here on out like a road game.”
We look up wide-eyed.
“Got it?”
A few feeble yeses skitter across the room.
“I asked a question.”
“Yes…yes, coach, got it.”
“Did that qualify as a sucky game?”
“Yes, that very much qualified as a sucky game.” I can’t believe how good it is to hear Fynn’s voice. The game was as sucky as it gets. So sucky that I didn’t even mind sitting through Dad’s lambasting as I left the arena because I deserved it.
“What happens now? Sorry, I just got a handle on regular games, but the playoffs are still a mystery.”
“Well, for starters, Logan has decided we are all staying in a hotel in Denver tonight. He will whip our asses in practice tomorrow, then we fly to Seattle, and we play two games there. The series is best of seven, so first team to win four games moves on to the next round.”
“And the point of the hotel is?”
“Team bonding. He wants us all together for the rest of this series. No distractions.”
“Ah…is this call a distraction?”
“No,” I sigh. “This call is exactly what I need.”
I hear several quick chirps and look at the screen in my car. A detailed text from Logan about where we are staying tonight, etc. And then one from my realtor. That’s odd at this hour.
“Hey Fynn, can I call you back—”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to. I just need to get up to my apartment and I’ve got a weird text I need to read. It’ll just be a minute.”
I open the text from Sophia, my realtor, as soon as I get into the building.
The house you’ve been eyeing by Sloan’s Lake is going on the market tomorrow!
Why are you up at this hour?
Same reason you are…hockey game winking emoji
I hit dial and kick the door to my apartment shut, toss my bag on the floor and look around as I wait for her to answer.
“What do you think? Do you want to make an offer?”
I laugh. I don’t just want to make an offer; I want the house.
“Whatever it takes,” I say.
“Okay,” she pauses. “You sound tired. That was a rough one.”
“That’s putting it mildly.” I rake my hands through my hair and across my face.
“You guys will recover. You always do.”
“Yeah,” I say. And we do. We have. A lot, but not always.
“Okay, I’m on it. I’ll get you your house.”
“Thanks, Sophia. I really appreciate it.”
“I’d say you can show me how much after we close on it…but I’m thinking I’m no longer your type.”
I smile, annoyed at the comment, but I know Sophia and she means nothing by it and we have fucked frequently. But that was long ago and something I mostly forget these days because these days I seem to have forgotten every woman I’ve ever been with.
“Right now, my only type is a bunch of sweaty men with skates on their feet until we bring home the Cup.”
I end the call with her and am calling Fynn barely before I realize it. It’s instant to call him. To want to call him. Nandy is shutting us both out and although I know he is hurting right now…I cannot help and that’s frustrating beyond belief.
“You didn’t have to—”
“I told you I would, and I wanted to, so stop it.”
“Yes, sir,” Fynn says, and it makes me smile and want to touch him, want to ravage him.
“Tease,” I growl.
“What was the weird text? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, it was my realtor.”
“At this hour?”
“Yes, she knows my schedule, and she’s a hockey fan.”
“And a TJ fan?”
“She was, long ago, though.”
“Hmmm.”
“Jealous?”
“What if I am?”
I want to tell him he doesn’t need to be, because he doesn’t. But then I’m hit with the reminder of the reason he is up at this hour. It isn’t just the hockey game. His job is to be with other people. Late at night.
“Were you at the club tonight?”
He exhales. “I was.”
“Hmmm.”
“It’s my job.”
“Uh-huh.”
“TJ…”
“Stop, I will not go down this road over the phone and exhausted.”
“Was your realtor contacting you about a house? I don’t even know where you live now.”
Well done and thank you, I think. “I live in one of the high-rise buildings in downtown. Not as swanky as yours, but there are quite a few players living in this building. It has a nice view of the mountains and the arena, actually. But, yes, I am trying to buy a house for my brother and me. And one I had been eyeing is going on the market.”
“Oh, so your brother is moving in with you.”
“Yes, that’s the plan, as soon as he turns 18, well it may not be exactly then…his mom is dying and I know he won’t leave Wisconsin until she does…so I’m just going to be ready for him.”
“How is your father going to take that?”
“Not well, because taking Rowan also means his funds go away. It’s gonna get messy, no doubt.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine…as long as it results in Rowan getting out of that house, I don’t care what I have to do. Especially after the latest bombshell he dropped on me.”
“What’s that?”
“My brother thinks he might be gay.”
“Shit, how did your father take that?”
“Well, he hasn’t told him, and I’ve encouraged him not to. Given his reaction to our relationship and now everything he is saying about the team.”
I head to the bedroom to throw together a travel bag, switching the phone to speaker when I walk into my closet.
“How long did you know you were gay before you came out?” I ask.
“I think I always knew. I can’t remember a time ever not wanting boys or to wear makeup. At first I really did like being different…until I realized as much as our school and teachers encouraged us to blossom in our way, that didn’t always trickle down to the other kids.”
The statement makes me wonder again about the scar he goes to such great lengths to hide.
“When I came out to my parents, I didn’t think they were going to be thrilled…. but I never expected what I got. I never expected to be tossed out of the house and cut off. Thank God for Nandy and Analisa and Peter…I don’t know what I would have done.”
I can’t imagine that either. I know my dad would have a similar reaction with Rowan, and Rowan has me, so he will never be out in the cold. But he will never leave his mom and if Dad knows he’s gay, I worry about his safety.
Distractions. Damn, Logan was harping on that earlier and in my head, I thought for sure I’m not the problem. He looked at me when he said it. He looked at all of us. Tonight’s game was on all of us. This is a team sport. But did I get an extra glance? And fuck, he might be right.
Nandy, Fynn, my brother…but Fynn feels good right now. Preparing for my brother has to happen right now…and Nandy…shit, him, I can’t help right now. I rake my hands through my hair and groan.
“Now who’s being a tease?” Fynn says, making me smile. “Go TJ, get packed and have a good night.”
“Thank you…and Fynn…it’s always nice to hear your voice.”