5. Daphne
Chapter Five
DAPHNE
Standing on the beach, I breathed in the crisp, briny air while soaking in the view. The icy cold waters of Kachemak Bay lapped at my feet as small waves broke along the shoreline. My eyes landed on a deep red piece of rock, and I leaned over to lift it out of the cold water. It was light, and I guessed it was probably a piece of hardened lava.
Drying it on my jeans, I tucked it into my pocket and continued to walk along the shore. Nora had given me directions to this trail when I told her I wanted to go for a walk on the beach. She assured me it was a well-traveled trail, and I didn’t need to worry about too much wildlife. She had cautioned, “There’s always some wildlife, but I wouldn’t send you there if I thought you were gonna run into some brown bears. Moose are everywhere. Just make a bunch of noise and yell at them if necessary.”
Because this entire trip was about me trying new things, I’d hoped she didn’t see the anxiety I felt inside. I’d nodded and driven into town. I’d been in Alaska for almost five days now. So far, every day had brought something new, starting with the hike planned by Flynn’s younger brother, Grant. Another day took me out on the water in a boat to fish, and I’d taken several hikes near the resort itself.
I was definitely escaping, but I hadn’t had much time to myself. On day three, Flynn had offered to look at the electrical problems with my rented SUV and magically fixed it. Although I doubted it was magic. It just seemed like it to me because I knew nothing about cars and wiring.
When I offered to pay him something, he turned his glacial blue gaze on me and shook his head, dismissing me. I was pretty sure he could hardly stand me. As for me, well, it felt as if a switch flicked on in my body when I was near him. My signals went haywire, and I couldn’t think. He made me feel hot; a kind of hot I’d never encountered. Every time I was around him, my heart thumped so hard it felt as if it were trying to break free from my chest. And here I thought myself well beyond desire and perfectly content with that state of affairs.
Flynn had me horny. That’s right, horny. Meanwhile, he could barely look at me for more than a few seconds. He still called me princess, which drove me just crazy enough that I was determined not to let it show.
As I walked, occasionally kicking stones with the toe of my boot, Brandon’s face flashed in my thoughts. It had been a year since he died—to the day, in fact—yet I could still remember his round blue eyes and his silly smile. He was the goofiest little boy— was being the operative word.
I was strangely relieved to reach this day and realize I could still breathe and move. Because the loss of my son literally took my breath away at times and left me staggering.
When a loss that brutal is experienced, several things happen inside. For one, I’d become an absolute master of faking it to make it. There were days when I couldn’t do that, but other days when I learned to put one foot in front of the other and go through the motions of life while trying not to look like I was completely out of my mind with grief. Over time, the brutally sharp pain did start to fade and lessen.
I knew some people worried they would forget their child’s face. Sometimes I wished I could, if only to ease the pain of remembering. I clung to those memories in my mind, like opening a scrapbook and flipping through all of my favorites.
There was a splash in the water, and I glanced out, seeing nothing at first. My eyes skimmed up to the mountains across the water. Cat told me the other day about termination dust. At sixteen, Flynn’s younger sister was filled with information and offered it freely. She loved to talk.
Apparently, the first snow that coated the tops of the mountains was called termination dust. Cat told me sometimes it came as early as October or November, but we weren’t there yet. Termination dust or not, the mountains were spectacular. The sun glinted on the ruffled surface of the water as I stared out over it.
A sleek head appeared out of the water, maybe fifteen feet from the shore. It was a seal, and my heart gave a beat of wonder. It stared at me curiously, and I could see its liquid dark eyes. After a moment, it dove underwater before surfacing. I smiled, thinking Brandon would’ve loved to have seen a seal.
There it went. It was like a knife slicing through my lungs and heart at once. The pain was sharp, and my eyes stung from it.
I was used to it now. Once I could breathe again, I resumed walking. Glancing down at my watch, I realized I’d been walking along the beach for an hour, so I figured I should probably turn back.
Retracing my steps, I found the narrow path through the tall grasses just beyond the rocky beach. The landscape transitioned quickly into a boreal forest with spruce trees towering tall, and the golden leaves from the birch trees fluttered through the air, covering the path under my feet, almost in welcome.
As I rounded a corner, not too far from where my vehicle was parked, I heard a huffing sound. Freezing in place, I looked around to see a giant moose. Cat had offered up that they were nearsighted just yesterday, yet even if the moose in question couldn’t see me, it was definitely aware of my presence. Facing me, he pawed the ground.
I swore silently, “Oh, fuck.”
As Nora had said, though, the moose kept his distance and didn’t appear to be approaching me. Although the most direct route for me was to walk ahead, that was where the moose was. Looking to my left, I walked into the trees, glancing back to see that he wasn’t following me. I figured I would detour far enough away and loop back.
For a few minutes, all was well as I picked my way through the trees. Then I hooked a right to bring me back in the correct direction. Another minute later, I was facing a steep rocky cliff. It was maybe only ten feet, but it wasn’t the nice level path the moose was blocking.
“Daphne, just climb on up. You’ve got this,” I whispered to myself.
I did have it. Of course, I managed to scrape my elbow and tear my jeans, but whatever. I thought I was doing great until I slipped in a muddy patch after I made it to the top of the cliff and landed in a bush, the meanest bush I’d ever encountered in my life with sharp spikes on thick branches. It didn’t draw blood, but it hurt like hell.
With my breath hissing, I stumbled back to my feet and was relieved that I could see the glint of my blue SUV through the trees. I only hoped my moose friend hadn’t meandered farther up the trail to the parking area. If so, I was screwed.
Blessedly, there was no sign of the moose, and I was on my way back to Walker Adventures within a few minutes. Cat had actually entered the official map address in my GPS for me.
“So, you can’t ever forget how to get back,” she’d said this morning with a sly grin.
I wanted to stop in Diamond Creek and maybe get some coffee or food at a restaurant, but my scraped elbow hurt, and I was dirty. The town was cute with brightly painted signs along the main street and tourists everywhere. Although autumn was approaching in a few weeks, and the days were getting cool and the nights downright chilly, it didn’t seem to slow down the visitors.
Roughly twenty minutes later, I was driving past the very spot where I’d seen the bear when my tire got stuck in the mud. I couldn’t help but smile. Flynn must’ve thought I was crazy. I’d definitely been overdressed.
Not that I brought too many nice clothes on this trip, but online, the resort was billed as high-end. It certainly wasn’t cheap, and the food was pretty good. I could be a snob about food. Not because I expected it to be amazing, but because I’d once run my own bakery and café. I loved, absolutely loved , to cook and bake.
I swatted away a memory that briefly flickered in my mind—one of Brandon while he stood on a stool I’d gotten for him as he helped me make cookies.
At least this trip to Alaska provided such a departure from my life that I didn’t dwell too much on things. I needed the distance, and I needed the space.
My heart gave a little jump when I turned the corner and the small resort came into view. The building was beautiful, and the views were utterly breathtaking. I still felt like a child in a candy shop, in awe of the novelty and breathtaking beauty.
I parked and sighed as I looked down at the mud on one of my knees and the scrape on my elbow. Although I’d yet to repeat my first day when I got mud everywhere, I was trying not to look like too much of a fool around Flynn.
I told myself it didn’t matter what he thought anyway. Our worlds were so far apart that my body’s insane reaction to him was going to fade. It had to.
Moments later, I was reaching for the handle on the door that led into the main entrance when it swung open. My pulse took off like a rocket at the sight of Flynn standing there. As usual, he wore a faded pair of jeans and a long-sleeve T-shirt. If there was such a thing as a uniform out here, this was definitely his.
The T-shirt did an utterly poor job of masking his fit and scrumptious body. His glacial blue eyes swept me up and down. He surprised me when his gaze narrowed in concern.
“What happened?” he asked.
Before I could reply, he was tugging me through the door. “Let’s get you some first aid and get you cleaned up.”
“I’m fine,” I said hurriedly. I didn’t like to need anything from anyone.
I certainly didn’t want to impose on Flynn. Spending too much time near him generally left me feeling as if I was knocked off my axis and stumbling for my balance. And hot, usually hot all over. Because he was hot, way too hot for my sanity.
Flynn ignored me. He pulled me through a door at the back of the kitchen, which led to an entirely private section of the resort. We walked through what appeared to be a living room and into a large bathroom where Flynn began rummaging through the cabinet. Next thing I knew, he had me by the sink and was cleaning off my elbow.
“Tell me if it stings,” he said.
I highly doubted I would even notice if it did. My breath was shallow, my heart was banging around inside my chest, and my belly was filled with butterflies.
Flynn was right here, every strong and sexy inch of him. His touch was gentle and light, and my eyes were mesmerized by his hands. He had big hands with long fingers, almost elegant. Rugged as he was, he had a confident grace to the way he moved.
After he neatly cleaned up my elbow and put a bandage over it, he looked down at my leg with mud smeared from my knee upward and the ragged tear on my jeans. “I think you’re going to need to change for me to check on that.”
Although Flynn had addled my thoughts and stolen all of my breath, it seemed I hadn’t completely lost my mind. “It’s okay,” I said, breathlessly enough that I was embarrassed. “I can take care of it.”
His eyes lifted to mine. Sweet Jesus. His gaze was intense. “Did you bump into some devil’s club?”
“Huh?” I asked brilliantly.
He gestured toward the punctures in the side of my jeans where I’d landed on that mean bush.
“Oh, is that what that awful bush is called? Devil’s club?”
Flynn’s lips kicked up slightly at one corner. “Yeah, princess. If it was a low bush with thick stalks and nasty thorns, it was devil’s club.”
“Well, it certainly hurt. If you don’t mind, I’ll clean my knee up and meet you outside. Or I can just take some of the first-aid stuff and take care of it in my room.” I needed to get myself out of Flynn’s close presence before I did something stupid.
For a moment, he stood right where he was, and I sensed his indecision. He said nothing, though, and stepped back. The sound of the door shutting behind him was a loud click in the tiled bathroom.
Relieved to be alone again, because I could barely stand to be that close to Flynn, I took a moment to orient myself. This bathroom had a large oval-shaped tub in one corner and a really sweet shower with a rain shower faucet and other fixtures on the walls. Right about now, I could’ve seriously used a shower, so I imagined it would be heaven.
With a mental shake, I shimmied out of my jeans and cleaned up my knee. I hadn’t even broken the skin where I’d landed. It was just red and irritated. I inspected the marks from the devil’s club. There were only three, and they looked innocuous enough, but they ached.
After slipping my jeans back on, I returned everything to the first-aid kit and stepped out of the bathroom. Flynn was waiting by the windows, looking out over the mountains. His hands were in his pockets, and he looked pensive.
I cleared my throat. He turned quickly, his eyes sweeping over me. Having Flynn’s focus on me was unsettling. His gaze felt like a beam of fire on my body. I didn’t think that was what he intended, but my body definitely had a mind of its own when it came to Flynn.
“You okay?”
“Of course. Thank you for the first aid.” Uncertain what to do, I twisted my fingers together. “Um, I’ll go then.”
Flynn continued as if I hadn’t said anything. “Where the devil’s club got you will be sore, but that’s it. Ibuprofen helps. If you don’t have any, we have some.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
At that, Flynn strode across the room, swiftly closing the distance between us. “Are you planning to take any flightseeing trips?”
He kept walking past me, so I simply turned and followed him. “I’d like to. I just, well, I’ve never been on a plane that small.”
Flynn was opening the door, and he stopped to look back at me. His gaze was inscrutable, but then it almost always was. “You’ll like it. It’s the best way to get a good view. The family that arrived today scheduled one soon. There should be an extra seat if you want to tag along.”
“Geez, Flynn, I’d almost think you were trying to be nice.”