12. Nora
Chapter Twelve
NORA
It was approaching eleven at night, and I was restless.
After dinner, I’d escaped back to my place, thinking I needed something to distract me.
Unfortunately, nothing was working. I’d flipped mindlessly through television channels, and I’d even taken a bath.
Usually, a bath would help me wind down.
Unfortunately, the only thing I could think of while I was in the tub was the last time I’d taken a bath with Gabriel.
I’d been mastering the art of avoiding my memories of Gabriel over the past few months.
And for good reason, it seemed. Because all I could remember was the water sloshing over the edges of the tub when he pulled me over his lap. We’d been laughing. Now, the memory twisted sharp in my heart and left me aching and needy for him.
Don’t be stupid , my smart mind ordered me.
That was the part of my brain that knew better. It had fed my anger and reminded my foolish heart why it had been so colossally stupid to fall for Gabriel in the first place.
There was another voice, perhaps the voice that I had silenced for so long, long before Gabriel. The one that wanted me to think maybe not all men were flaky, unreliable assholes like my father.
He said he loved you. You know he’s not a bad guy.
Maybe not, but he’s the one who said he could never commit. How does he know it’s different now?
It felt like a freaking tennis match in my brain. I was tired of it, and I couldn’t seem to stem the relentless tide of desire that rushed through me, colliding with the tributary of my emotions. I was weary of trying to deny my want for him.
I didn’t let myself think any further and leaned forward to scoop my phone off the coffee table.
Me: Come see me .
The second I fired off that text, my heart cast out rapid beats carelessly as anticipation spun inside.
Somehow, it seemed by letting him back in, I was opening the door to my heart again.
I was terrified, yet it was taking too much effort to keep that door closed.
I felt as if I was still leaning my weight against the barricade I’d built to keep the wind of his presence out of my life.
Yet he was with me in my heart all the time.
He was also an undeniable physical presence in my life. I couldn’t escape him or my feelings.
My phone vibrated seconds later.
Gabriel: On my way to you.
I didn’t realize I’d been anxious about his reply until my relief rushed through me. Now, he couldn’t get here fast enough.
Because I was that foolish about Gabriel, I stood and hurried into the bathroom. My hair was still damp and my cheeks still flushed from the bath. The locks were drying in tousled waves. I took stock of myself in the mirror. I considered myself the plainest of my siblings.
I’d inherited my father’s brown hair and eyes. I studied myself, wondering just what Gabriel saw.
Annoyed at my ruminations, I splashed cold water on my face and was drying myself with a towel when I heard a sharp knock on the door. I practically ran out of the bathroom, forcing myself to slow my steps when I realized how much I was rushing.
The beat of my heart reverberated on repeat through my body when I stopped in front of the door.
The knob felt cool under my palm, a contrast to the heat banked in my body.
Just the knowledge that Gabriel was on the other side of the door fanned the flames.
It was like air rushing into a closed space.
“I can hear you, you know?” Gabriel’s voice reached me through the door, slightly muffled.
Hearing the hint of amusement in his tone, I almost giggled. I was being ridiculous.
I swung the door open. He stood there in the darkness. Only the light from inside my house cast over him. His lips barely curled up at one corner, sending my belly into wild flips.
“You didn’t even turn on the light for me.”
“I forgot.”
“When you said you wanted me to come see you, did you mean for me to stand on the porch?”
The low timbre of his voice played on my nerves, already strung taut. I shook my head, stepping back to let him inside.
As he passed by, I picked up his scent, musky with a hint of spruce clinging to him. Closing the door behind him, I pressed my palms against the cool, wooden surface. He stopped just beyond the door, turning to face me. “Are we talking?”
I blinked before shaking my head. “I’d rather not.” My voice came out raspy, like torn velvet, ragged from the sharp edges of my need.
He closed the distance between us in two long strides. Resting his hands flat on the door, he caged me between his arms. His eyes skated over my face, dipping down and then back up.
My nipples perked up as if in greeting. It was only then I realized I was wearing a worn T-shirt with no bra. It was one of my favorite comfort shirts, and I didn’t doubt he could see my body’s reaction to his mere presence.
“It’s important to me for you to understand how I feel,” he said, each word slow and deliberate, his low voice caressing my nerves as his eyes bored into mine.
“What do you mean?” I rasped.
“I love you. I want a chance to get back to us.”
My heart thrashed in my chest, and I felt a low tug in my belly. Yes, yes, yes! My foolish heart was falling for this man.
I knew I loved him, but I didn’t know how to have faith that he loved me.
“Is it enough if I say I’ll try to believe you?” I whispered.
Gabriel was quiet, and I started to feel a little panicky. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want him to hold me at bay. And I knew how ridiculous that was, given that I hadn’t spoken to him for months.
I needed him; I needed us. I needed the touchstone of our physical connection to remind me why it might be worth it to risk it all for him.
He closed his eyes, leaning his head back as he took a deep breath. When he leveled his gaze with mine again, the look there was so intense it took my breath away. Mind you, between the wild rush of my heartbeat, my breath was shallow to begin with.
“I’m trying to tell myself that we need to take it slow,” he murmured.
I finally took one of my palms away from the door, placing it on his chest over his heart, simultaneously reassured and excited by the rapid thump of it.
“I need you.”
The words fell between us. I meant them. Completely. Those three words were insufficient to capture the depth and breadth of my need for Gabriel at this moment.
“Okay,” he whispered.
Then I watched as he moved slowly, almost as if he was giving me a chance to change my mind. No way in hell was that happening.
He lifted a hand, lightly brushing his knuckles across the line of my cheekbone.
His touch traveled, tracing one of my brows and then moving up along my hairline as he smoothed a loose lock of hair off my cheek.
The feel of his fingers brushing over the shell of my ear as he tucked the hair behind it sent fire racing over the surface of my skin.
“Please.” My request came in a husky whisper.
He granted my wish. His lips brushed mine once and then again. I heard the reverberation of his low groan against my palm where it was still pressed over his heart. He finally gave me what I wanted, what I craved—a commanding, devouring kiss as he fit his mouth fully over mine.
I was arching into him, moaning shamelessly into our kiss as I wound my arms around his neck. He lifted me high against him, bringing me with such ease into his strong hold.
Not many men could make me feel the way Gabriel did—as if he could wrap me into his embrace and protect me and shelter me from anything that came my way.
I’d never known I craved that feeling until him. My heart shouted out cheers, and my body surrendered to the roar of desire, a wild cacophony between us.
I didn’t even realize I’d wound my legs around his waist until I felt the hard press of his arousal against me.
I was already drenched with need, and my core clenched at the feel and awareness of his response.
I was restless. When he drew away, I curled a palm around the back of his head and murmured, “More.”
His low chuckle sent sparks skating over the surface of my skin. I felt prickly all over, so frantic for him that I spurred my heels into his muscled ass.
“You asked for me, and you’ve got me, darling, but I am not rushing this. I’ve waited too long for you.”
Still holding me, he turned and angled over to the side of the room. In another moment, he was carrying me easily up the stairs. Impatient, I nipped at his neck, murmuring, “It’s only been four months.”
“You’re only counting since you cut me off. I’m dialing back to when I first knew how much I wanted you.”
Gabriel crested the top stair. That comment got my attention, and I lifted my head from the mouthwatering taste of his skin. He crossed the upstairs landing into my bedroom as I asked, “What do you mean?”
He wasn’t looking at me as he crossed the room. I didn’t think he was avoiding my gaze, considering he was carrying me. There was no need to collide with furniture on the way. He was a far too practical man for that kind of fumble.
A moment later, he eased me down on the bed, resting his palms on either side of me on the mattress as he looked into my eyes. “I suppose if I want you to believe I love you, I could start with telling the truth. I wanted you the first time I met you.”
I blinked. “Five years ago?”
He nodded slowly and deliberately. “It didn’t seem smart to make a move on the little sister of one of my best friends the very first day I moved here to work for him.”
My thoughts scrambled to align around this detail. Gabriel had never mentioned this before. He played it off over the past year when we started sneaking around. He made it seem like a new thing for him. In all honesty, it had been a new thing for me.
I was dumbfounded, and it must have shown on my face because Gabriel lifted one shoulder in a light shrug. “True story.”