23. Nora
Chapter Twenty-Three
NORA
I got a nasty cold that lasted over a week.
Preferring not to pass it on to guests who were traveling and ruin their vacation with a cold, we shuffled the schedule around so I didn’t handle any flights.
I mostly holed up in my place. Gabriel stopped by a few times, but it was impossible for him not to notice I was sick.
He was sweet, though, and delivered some homemade chicken and dumpling soup, made especially for me by Daphne.
When I finally started to feel better, I ventured into town to run some errands one afternoon. I was making my way through the grocery store when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise and a pleasant shiver chase down my spine. The sound of Gabriel’s voice the next aisle over set me off.
I felt good enough to speed up, bringing my cart around the end of the aisle and turning it into the one where he was. He was standing about halfway down, one hand hooked in his pocket as he spoke on the phone.
Just as I reached him, I heard him say, “No problem, Mom. I gotta go. I’m at the store.”
He slipped his phone in his pocket just as he looked up and saw me approaching. When one corner of his mouth kicked up in a slow smile, my belly executed a quick flip, and butterflies tickled the inside. The rapid tap of my pulse sped when I stopped in front of him.
“Hey there,” he murmured, his voice low and intimate. “Rumor has it you’re flying tomorrow.”
“Uh, yeah,” I said slowly. “I texted you about the flight schedule this morning.”
His eyes skated over my face. “I’m glad you feel better.”
“Same here,” I replied, stating the obvious. “How’s your mom?”
The moment I asked that question, his entire demeanor shifted. His gaze shuttered, and he shrugged, feigning nonchalance. The tightness around his eyes and the set of his shoulders gave away his instant tension. “Fine.” His tone was sharp, clearly putting an end to this topic of conversation.
Maybe it was because I’d been sick for a week, maybe it was because I missed him, or maybe it was because I picked the absolute worst time to start a conversation about something that mattered, but I snapped at him.
“You know, if we’re really going to try to do this, we have to be able to talk about uncomfortable things. I understand what it’s like to have a parent who’s mostly absent.”
Gabriel just stared at me, and when he shrugged again, that annoyed the hell out of me. “I’d prefer not to talk about it here,” he finally said.
Feeling peevish, I shrugged. “Fine. I’ll be at dinner at the resort tonight.”
Somehow, we moved past that little stumbling block I’d unintentionally created. He finished shopping with me and even helped me load the groceries in the truck. Just before I climbed in, he kissed me, pressing his forehead to mine briefly. “Do I get to do more than bring you chicken soup tonight?”
I felt the curve of his smile against my lips. “Yes,” I whispered.
Dinner at the resort was the usual controlled chaos.
We were serving guests tonight, so it was far too busy to relax and hang out.
I made my way back to my house early. While I did feel better, I was still tiring easily and was weary from running errands and then helping Daphne and Cat get everything ready for dinner.
Gabriel came over, and it was nice. Not because we had crazy hot sex, but rather because we relaxed in front of the television and just chilled out. I fell asleep curled up against him.
When I woke the following morning, the brief conversation about his mother in the grocery store felt like a grain of sand in my shoe.
I had enough sense to know trying to chat about a potentially emotionally loaded topic in the grocery store wasn’t a smart move.
But I didn’t want to leave it unspoken. If Gabriel loved me and if we were going to try to do this, we had to be able to talk. Love wasn’t all rainbows and fun.
Maybe I’d never had a good serious relationship, not even close if I was being honest, but I knew making things work wasn’t always easy.
As I was prepping the coffee, I decided I would ask Gabriel about his mom again.
He’d given me a sketch of her role in his life, or primarily lack thereof, but that was it.
I was sipping my coffee when he emerged from the bedroom after a shower. With his auburn hair darker when it was damp, his green eyes stood out in contrast. No matter the moment, all of my cells cheered at the sight of him.
“Good morning,” I said when he stopped in front of me.
He dipped his head, murmuring against my lips, “Good morning.” He gave me a lingering kiss before drawing back. “Thanks for making coffee.”
He lifted the empty mug I’d set beside the coffee pot and filled it. “I toasted bagels too. You just need to heat the cream cheese. Daphne made a fresh batch yesterday afternoon, so I brought some home with me.”
Not much later, we’d both polished off one of Daphne’s delicious bagels with smoked salmon cream cheese. Living in Alaska and having the benefit of the natural bounty of fresh salmon could be decadent.
Looking across the table at Gabriel, I steeled myself and began, “I know my timing wasn’t good yesterday, but how is your mom? You never talk about her.”
His eyes tightened at the corners, and he pursed his lips before he took a quick sip of coffee. When he looked back over the table at me, he gave a dismissive shrug. “There’s not much to say. She’s fine. Why do you want to talk about her? It’s not like you discuss your father that much.”
His words felt barbed, but I held my ground. “My father’s dead. If he were alive, I’d probably have more to say about him. You know everything there is to know. He was hardly around and cheated on my mom a lot. That about sums it up.”
Gabriel’s eyes searched mine. “My mom is fine. We’re not close,” he finally said.
I didn’t know what it was about this topic, but it felt like it represented something important to us. “I know you’re not close, but why are you so defensive when I ask?”
“I’m not defensive,” he countered, his tone belying his words. It was sharp, pointed, and clearly annoyed.
“How do you know you love me?” I asked next because that was a smart thing to do. I didn’t even know that question had been hovering in my thoughts, but now it was out there.
His eyes widened. “What the hell do you mean? Is this some kind of test? If I don’t bare my soul to you about my mother, then I don’t love you. What the fuck, Nora?”
Anxiety coiled tightly in my chest, and I felt hot and cold simultaneously. “It’s not a test. But how do you know? If we can’t even have a simple conversation about your mother, how are we going to handle things that aren’t easy?”
Gabriel’s eyes widened and then narrowed. “I don’t know how to explain it. I just know I love you. I don’t really understand what’s happening right now,” he muttered.
“You know what? I don’t think you’re ready. Or maybe I’m not ready.” I stood abruptly from the table, an unsteady sensation racing through me as my stomach clenched with dread.
“What do you mean, Nora?” Gabriel stood with me, and we stared at each other across the table.
“I don’t really know. I just know this doesn’t feel right. We need a break.” My words tumbled out.
“A break?”