7. Tucker
Chapter Seven
TUCKER
I rested an elbow on the counter and lifted my beer to take a swallow. Lowering it, I glanced toward Skylar as she responded to something Nora said. Skylar had a sweetness to her, and I didn’t know what to make of it. It wasn’t a quality that generally appealed to me.
Of course, I was also lying to myself whenever I tried to convince myself of that.
Claire had been a sweet girl. She was the girl who rescued animals and tried to take care of everyone in her orbit.
Then she got sick and fucking died before she even graduated from high school.
It’s not that I’d expected life to be fair.
But that had made it crystal clear it absolutely was not.
Skylar’s sweetness was different. There was a sharp edge to it. She covered it up with toughness.
“Yo, Tucker.” Diego’s voice reached me.
“What?” I asked.
He grinned. “Nothing, just trying to see how distracted you were.”
I knew he’d spotted me noticing Skylar. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “I only said your name four times.”
“You were busy staring,” Elias added.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. How’s life with Cammi?” I asked.
“It’s always good,” Elias replied.
“It’s not always good. You were cranky yesterday,” Cammi interjected.
Cammi was also sweet, a contrast to Elias, who could be a cranky ass. “He’s always been cranky in the morning,” I said. I caught his eyes again. “She’s pregnant.” I gestured to Cammi who was expecting twins. Elias was over the moon about it. “You should be nice all the time.”
Cammi shrugged, but Elias rolled his eyes. “I hadn’t had my coffee yet,” he protested. “I swear, I’m not an ass to her.”
Cammi chimed in. “You’re not an ass, but you’re driving me insane worrying.”
Elias sighed. “I’m doing my best.”
“Dude, you have your own personal barista,” Diego said, gesturing toward Cammi, who laughed softly. “Just knowing that she’s going to make you coffee in the morning should put you in a good mood.”
To his credit, Elias looked a little sheepish. “Yeah, I know. I’m not that great in the morning.”
“Yet you have a job where you have to get up early. Should I talk to Nora about your schedule?” Cammi teased.
“No,” the four of us said in unison.
Elias grinned. “That’s not an option. If I changed my schedule, I wouldn’t see you much in the evenings. You’re a morning girl, and I want as much time as I can get with you.” My friend was deeply in love and didn’t care to hide it.
“Aw, you’re so sweet, Elias!” Cat called over.
I was grateful at the deflection of the topic from me as Diego continued to tease Elias, and they fell into their usual back and forth. When I glanced toward Skylar again, she was quiet, tracing her fingertip on the label of her cider bottle as she watched the interplay amongst everyone here.
“So, seriously, did you have any trouble finding it?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Even though you made sure to tell me there was no sign, you gave me some landmarks. It’s a nice place. I think it’s really cool you guys all live out here.”
“Elias and Diego don’t stay here anymore.”
“Well, they obviously come out for dinner,” she returned.
“They do. Gemma also teaches a yoga class here for staff once a week, and that’s tonight,” I explained.
“Oh, that’s cool.” Skylar glanced at Gemma.
Gemma’s curls bounced as she smiled over at Skylar. “You can come to class in town, or here if you’d like.”
“Oh, is it the same cost?”
“Actually, it’d be free here,” Gemma replied. “Because the resort pays me.”
“I feel like I need to pay.”
“Well, then do two classes a week.”
Skylar smiled again. “I just might do that.”
I was curious about her, especially after what I had learned.
I wanted to ask what happened to her friend.
I wanted to ask what it was like to take this trip by herself.
I’d driven up here by myself. It was a hell of a drive—beautiful, stark, stunning really, but long, and some stretches felt lonely.
Tonight wasn’t the night for me to be curious, though, not with the audience of all of my friends.
Daphne herded us over to the dinner table a little bit later.
Skylar ended up seated across from me, and I promptly concluded that was a bad idea because I kept catching myself staring at her. She was right there .
She took a bite of the halibut glazed with lemon and maple, her eyes going wide before she moaned. “Oh, my god. Daphne, I’ve heard about your cooking, but wow.”
Daphne smiled, brushing her auburn braid off her shoulder. “Thank you. I love to cook.”
“Well, this is amazing. I know you make some stuff for Cammi, right?”
Cammi nodded. “Oh, yeah. Daphne gave me a head start at the café. We get a delivery every morning. I don’t even know how you do it all.”
“Cat helps,” Daphne offered with a shrug. “We have a system, and we’ve got the guys for free delivery.”
Skylar laughed at that, and dinner carried on.
As the night wore on, I realized my draw to Skylar wasn’t the smartest plan.
I was cynical, not because anybody had ever broken my heart—unless I counted the cruelty of the universe.
I didn’t want to risk loving and losing.
Not again. I’d argue the point on that quote about loving and losing being better than not loving at all.
It hurt like hell to love and lose someone.
I could practically hear my sister chirping in my ear.
She was a therapist, and she’d told me more than once she thought I was letting my grief hold me back.
She didn’t get it. There was a sad, sore point in my heart where Claire had once lived.
But I was okay. The ache of missing her had faded to the point it felt like a ghost. She’d been gone long enough it was hard to imagine her being here.
I just didn’t want to be angry at the world all over again.
Life was fickle, and shit happened. The longer I lived, the more deeply I understood that.
Even when I had examples to tell me otherwise.
Daphne landed in Alaska after her son died of some rare cancer.
It broke her heart. My mind, or rather my heart, didn’t want to contemplate the fact that she had, in fact, found a fresh start here.
She and Flynn were deeply in love, and she was clearly happy.
My thoughts practically grumbled at each other as they rolled about like billiard balls in my mind.
There was no strategy to whatever was directing them.
They bounced against the edges and each other, ricocheting into points of pain.
I had a pretty good life with rock-solid friends I considered family and a job I loved. I didn’t need to risk asking the universe for more.
“So, tell us about San Francisco,” Daphne said at one point, directing her question to Skylar.
“Well, Alaska is definitely a change of pace,” Skylar offered. Her gaze was careful.
“Do you miss San Francisco?” Cammi asked.
“I didn’t have anything holding me down there.” Skylar shrugged. “My best friend was supposed to come up here with me, but she died.”
Her tone was almost flat, and I recognized the feeling behind it. That was how I talked about Claire. You practiced saying things. If you said hard things enough, they lost the punch of emotion right to the heart. It could start to feel hollow and caved in.
“Oh,” Daphne said softly, trailing her fork through the leftover sauce on her plate. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Skylar squared her shoulders a little, her chin rising slightly. “Life happens, right?”
“Oh, that it does.” Daphne’s gaze was understanding as she looked at Skylar.
Skylar was looking down at her plate. I was distracted, and that annoyed the hell out of me.
I didn’t get distracted. That was why the Air Force had been such a good fit for me.
I stayed focused and on point. Flying was perfect for my personality.
Yet all it took was one woman to distract me at dinner with my friends.
I knew I was going to hear about it later.
The group gradually filtered apart, and I found myself lingering when I would normally head back to the staff house. But Skylar was still here. She offered to help Cat clean up. When Daphne tried to dissuade her, Skylar shook her head. “You cooked. Let me help clean up.”
“We’ve got it,” Cat called, waving Daphne out of the kitchen.
Grant had his feet propped on an empty chair and was busy texting. I crossed over to the kitchen area, leaning my elbows on the counter.
Cat eyed me. “If you’re gonna hang out, you need to work.”
“What can I do?” I helped clean up sometimes, so this wasn’t wildly out of the ordinary, but Cat gave me a suspicious look.
“Why don’t you load the dishwasher?”
That put me beside Skylar. She was cleaning off plates and tossing napkins in the trash. She cast me a quick smile, but she was mostly all business. It didn’t take long before we were done. I offered, “I’ll walk you to your car.”
Cat was conveniently in the bathroom, and Grant had wandered off.
Skylar simply nodded and followed me through the front area, which was quiet now.
Dinners on staff nights ran late mostly because we lounged around the table afterward.
The lights were dimmed. I turned the outside lights on while Skylar shrugged into her jacket.
Once we reached the bottom of the stairs outside, she stopped and tilted her head back.
The stars glittered in the darkness. “Wow,” she breathed.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many stars in my life.
” She glanced at me, her face shadowed. “You don’t realize how much light pollution matters until there isn’t any. ”
“I know.”
Her breath misted in the chilly, late winter air. Technically, it was almost spring, but it didn’t feel like it. Spring in Alaska wasn’t warm.
“Thank you for inviting me,” she said.
“Of course. I was just the messenger. It was Daphne’s invitation.”
“Please make sure to thank her for me. I don’t think I had a chance before I left.”
I suddenly felt like a jerk for pointing that out. “Maybe it was Daphne’s invitation, but I wanted you to come too.”
I surprised myself with that comment. Skylar had taken a step, and her boots crunched on the gravel as she turned quickly to face me.
“Oh.”
“You have a standing invitation now, so make sure to come again.”
Uncertainty chased through her eyes. “Really?”
“Of course. Trust me on that.”
She searched my face, her doubts stamped in her eyes.
“Why do you seem so surprised?” I asked.
“Because.” She shrugged. “I don’t know why. I only had one close friend, and she died.” I could feel the emotion behind her words, and the force of it took my breath away.
“I’m sorry about your friend. Life fucking sucks sometimes.”
She looked up at me, her brows hitching slightly. “It does. Thank you for not trying to make that seem like anything other than what it was.”
I nodded. She turned again, continuing to walk across the gravel parking lot. I followed. She stopped beside her car.
“Nobody’s noticed your cargo container yet.”
Skylar giggled. It was the first time I had heard her giggle, and the sound moved through me like sparks leaping from a fire.
“I can’t believe no one’s noticed.”
“Promise you’re going to keep that promise and not mention it,” I teased.
She rolled her eyes. “I promise. I think it’s ridiculous, though.”
“It doesn’t matter. Honestly, no one cares. They care so little they haven’t even fucking noticed it.”
Her shoulders shook when she giggled again. The sound petered out, and we were staring at each other in the moonlight. We were beyond the soft glow of the light cast from the entrance to the lodge. Skylar looked up at me as if she wanted to say something. Except I didn’t really want to talk.
I took one step, and then I was standing right in front of her.
Lifting my hand, I trailed my knuckles along her cheekbone.
Her eyes were like pools of starlight under the moon.
I sensed she was waiting to see what I would do, so I let my instincts take the reins.
Even though I didn’t do romance, I was an expert at casual.
Maybe that was all I needed with Skylar. We could be friends with benefits.
I lowered my head, moving slowly enough she could dissuade me. She didn’t. Her eyes held mine all the way until my lips brushed over hers. It felt as if a shock of electricity zapped from her to me. I didn’t know who gasped. I angled my head and slid my hand into her hair.
As I fit my mouth over hers, her body went taut before she let out this little sigh, her breath hitching in the back of her throat. At the sound, it felt as if lightning sizzled through my body, the heat of it so intense I felt singed inside.
She pressed closer, and I felt the soft give of her curves.
I suddenly felt greedy and slid my hand around her waist, down over the sweet curve of her bottom.
As I pulled her close, I let my tongue tangle against hers.
She startled me by kissing me boldly. She pressed closer again and just as quickly drew back on a gasp, jumping away as if I had shocked her.
She’d shocked me, and my heartbeat was thundering. Her hand pressed against her heart, our breath misting in the air as she stared at me.
“What was that?” she whispered.
“A kiss.”
“Don’t ruin this. Please.”
Before I could ask what she meant, she was climbing in her car and slamming the door. I stepped back, watching as she drove away until her taillights disappeared down the long driveway a moment later.
“Ruin what?” I asked the ceiling in my bedroom a little while later.