29. Skylar
Chapter Twenty-Nine
SKYLAR
At daybreak, the first shafts of light filtered through my curtains.
I came awake, my eyes flying open. I was warm, curled up against Tucker’s side, pressed tightly as a barnacle.
My knee was thrown over his thigh, and the rest of me was plastered to him.
His breath came in deep, slow gusts. My chin was tucked against his shoulder, and my palm rested against his pecs.
Sheesh. He was all firm and warm under my touch. Recollections wrapped in sensations filled me. I suddenly felt intensely vulnerable. I almost scrambled away from him, but that would wake him up.
I needed to be sane and calm as I lay there, savoring not being alone. I thought this through and realized maybe I could do this. I knew how not to fall in love because I knew what wasn’t love. Last night and how incredible it felt wasn’t love. I used to fall in love with what wasn’t love.
I would have boundaries and things. It would be easy.
I knew precisely when Tucker woke up because his breathing changed. He didn’t even pretend to be asleep. He rolled his head sideways just as his eyes opened.
“Mornin’,” he murmured, his voice gravelly and crushed along the edges from sleep.
“Good morning.” A flush washed over me from head to toe.
“Are you going to kick me out now?” he asked bluntly as his lips curled in a slow grin.
Butterflies amassed in my belly. I felt all tingly with my skin prickly as I stared at him. I couldn’t help it. I smiled. “No,” I said, maybe a little too forcefully.
Then my stomach growled, which was perfect because I needed something to laugh about.
“Hungry?” he teased.
“Obviously,” I deadpanned.
“Let’s go get breakfast at Misty Mountain Café.”
“Do you need to go home?” I prompted.
He shook his head. “I always have a change of clothing in my truck.” When my eyes widened, he added, “Not because I spend the night with people all the time. If I get stuck somewhere, I have options. It’s either in the plane or my truck. Right now, it’s in my truck.”
Cammi’s pretty blue eyes bounced from me to Tucker and back again.
I smiled and hoped I wasn’t blushing too hard.
I was accustomed to masking my internal state.
When you grew up poor and wore almost the same thing every day and had to worry about whether or not your parents had enough spare change for laundry, you learned how to play it cool.
Maybe I couldn’t hide my blushes from Tucker, but I could hide them from Cammi.
Of course, as soon as that entire train of thought went through my brain, I winced internally.
I trusted Cammi. She was really nice, and I sensed it would hurt her if she understood how much I tried to hide myself and how I felt from everyone.
As soon as I thought that and started to beat myself up, Jolene’s voice chimed in my brain, reminding me I tended to look for excuses to give myself a hard time. “So what?” I used to say to her.
She would say, “It matters. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself in your own head?”
I was aghast at that thought. Hell, I wouldn’t talk to a complete stranger the way I talked to myself inside the privacy of my own thoughts.
“I have a new coffee flavor today,” Cammi offered.
I couldn’t help but grin. “What is it?”
“Chipotle dark chocolate.”
“I’ll take it. Just make it strong.”
“How about you, Tucker?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows.
He looked a little sheepish as he replied, “I’m not into variety when it comes to coffee.”
She blew him a kiss. “I know you’re not. I like you exactly the way you are, Tucker. Most people have their favorite coffee drink and stick with that, or something seasonal,” she explained as she began to get our coffees ready. “Skylar is a rare breed when it comes to her coffee.”
“Am I really that rare?”
“Yeah, you’ll try almost anything. I don’t think you have any habits except you don’t like it too sweet,” she returned with a quick smile.
I shrugged. “I just want the caffeine, so I’m willing to take it however I can get it. Straight to the vein would work, except I’m scared of needles.”
Just then, a handsome man stepped to the counter on Tucker’s other side, responding to my comment with a shudder, “Oh, I hate needles. Needle phobia is a real thing.”
The man appeared to know Cammi and Tucker. Tucker gestured to me as he slipped his arm around my waist, saying, “This is Skylar. She works with Ludie and Dan.” He nudged his chin toward the man. “This is Garrett.”
“Garrett Hamilton,” the man said.
“Are you Delia’s husband?” I asked.
“The very one. Have you met her? She’s amazing,” he said earnestly.
I couldn’t help but laugh. He was so unabashed in his praise of her. “I have. I had dinner at the lodge last night. It was delicious.”
“It’s the best place in town. I mean, except Daphne’s food is also amazing,” he added quickly.
Cammi smiled. “There’s no competition between them. They’re each other’s biggest cheerleaders and what they do is different.”
Garrett flashed a smile. “Working for Ludie and Dan must be interesting.”
“It definitely is,” I agreed.
“So you coordinate all the cargo scheduling for the small planes, right?” he prompted.
“Yup. It’s never slow.”
Garrett nodded. I suddenly connected the dots that he was a lawyer, and Susie had mentioned he could help me with any legal stuff around business planning if I looked into getting Ludie and Dan’s business. I didn’t have the nerve to ask him about it right now, so I stayed quiet.
A few minutes later, Tucker and I were sitting at a table by the windows, and I realized I hadn’t been nervous with him. I’d had a normal conversation with Cammi and then a normal conversation with Garrett. I was just here with Tucker. I felt more normal than I’d ever imagined.
Tucker was chewing on a bite of his bagel. He swallowed before prompting, “What?”
“Nothing,” I chirped.
“You were wondering something,” he added, his lips teasing at the corners.
“Nobody’s brain is just completely quiet,” I countered.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek and took a swallow of coffee. It was so rare for me to have any span of time when I felt comfortable that it was almost a monumental event in my life.
The last time I’d had coffee and breakfast out in public and felt normal was before Emily died. We used to have our favorite coffee shop in San Francisco.
I ignored the beat of pain in my heart and took a sip of my drink, which was really good.
“I was just thinking it’s nice to be here,” I finally said.
Okay, that was like super general and vague, but sort of the truth.
He studied me before nodding.
It was nice to be here. I didn’t even try to lie to myself about it.
The only thing I lied to myself about—with fervor, by the way—was that I didn’t really like Tucker.
This was just a friendly arrangement. We liked each other naked, a lot.
I let myself tumble into that, telling myself it wouldn’t be a big deal.