36. Skylar
Chapter Thirty-Six
SKYLAR
I was an expert at avoidance, and I made myself invisible for an entire week. Daphne invited me out to the lodge for the staff dinner, and I told her I was busy. That was total bullshit because my social life was nonexistent without my new friends, but whatever.
I went into work early so I didn’t accidentally run into Tucker at Red Truck Coffee or Misty Mountain Café. I made sure to lock the door at the office at the end of the day when Ludie and Dan left, so nobody could just stop in. I also turned out all the lights in the front.
One evening, there was a knock on the glass doors.
I didn’t dare look out because I knew it was Tucker.
I waited and waited. When I heard the scuff of footsteps moving away on the gravel, I tiptoed over and peered out from the hallway.
My heart felt pierced when I saw the back of him moving slowly away.
He glanced over his shoulder, and I darted back.
Leaning against the wall, I slid my hips to the ground, curled my knees to my chest, and wrapped my arms around them as I let my forehead fall.
I cried and cried and cried. I didn’t think I was just crying about Tucker although the ache of missing him was sharp.
I cried because I missed Emily, and she would never come back.
I cried because it didn’t feel like life was fair.
I cried because I tried not to be the kind of person who counted all the things that had gone wrong and kept track, but I felt like I’d been doled out more than enough of the shitty luck. Maybe, just maybe, the tide could turn.
And I cried because even though I knew better, I’d gone and fallen in love with Tucker, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
He had texted me a few times, and I blithely replied, profoundly grateful he couldn’t see my face or the scorched surface of my heart. I didn’t know why he’d kept his distance for those few days, but it reminded me of all the reasons I never ever, ever , should’ve let anything happen with him.
I finally stopped crying and lifted my head before dragging my sleeve across my face. I sat there on the floor in the utilitarian office and slowly got my breath back. I jumped when there was another knock out front.
Fuck. I didn’t want to deal with Tucker, but this knock was determined, and it didn’t have the rhythm of his.
I heard a voice, and it was feminine. My curiosity was piqued.
I stood, snagging a tissue off the desk and blowing my nose before hurrying down the hallway.
I prayed I didn’t look like I’d just been bawling my eyes out.
Susie stood outside with Cammi beside her. It was almost dark, and the automatic lights had come on. A second later, Daphne and Risa appeared. They were all here. My heart felt warm.
I waved through the glass, unlocking the door and opening it. “Hey.”
“Hey, we were wondering about having a girls’ night,” Susie announced.
“Here?” I asked.
“Back at the gallery,” Risa said. “Follow us over.”
They walked with me through the parking lot. Susie and Cammi had driven over together. Risa glanced my way, asking, “Can I ride back with you?”
“Sure.”
“When we didn’t see your car behind the gallery, we decided to come fetch you,” she explained as she climbed into the passenger seat a few moments later.
I looked over at my landlord and friend and smiled. “I’ve been busy.”
Risa simply nodded. The drive was only a few minutes. Just as we pulled into the parking lot, Risa said, “Fair warning, Susie is worried about you and Tucker. She’s probably going to bring that up.”
“Oh, god, what?”
“Apparently, Tucker told Daphne he’s in love with you. Daphne told Flynn, and Cat overheard. Cat told Susie when she saw her at the coffee shop this morning. He said he’s trying to give you space.”
My mouth dropped. “Is this the telephone game?”
Risa’s lips twitched with a smile. “It’s a small town. We all want what’s best for you. If that’s Tucker, then we want him for you, but don’t stress.”
“People are gossiping about me, Risa. Nobody gossips about me. I’m nobody.”
Her eyes narrowed, and she turned in the seat to face me as she unbuckled her seat belt. She reached for my hands, and I angled to face her. Our hands rested atop the console between the seats.
She studied me, her gaze intent. “You are not nobody. Nobody is nobody.”
“Risa—” I began, but she cut me off.
“Listen to me, Skylar. I don’t know your life story, and frankly, it’s none of my business.
We all have a past. I want to be your friend.
I like you. I know you’re kind of shy, and I get it because we all have that side.
Some of us hide it better than others. No matter what happened in your life, you are someone, and you matter. Don’t you ever, ever forget that.”
Tears stung my eyes as I stared at her and nodded.
“Maybe that was kind of blunt, but we don’t let our friends say they’re nobody. It’s totally against the rules.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “Thank you. I’m good at following the rules once I know them,” I added dryly, my voice a little stronger.
“We all have to remind ourselves to shut that shitty voice up. That shitty voice is pretty loud sometimes. We all have that asshole in our brain on bad days or weeks or years. Tell her, or him, or whoever, to shut the fuck up. Now, let’s go.”
We climbed out of the car. Just before she opened the door to the gallery, I looked up at her. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
A few minutes later, Susie was doling out paper plates and slices of pizza, informing me that we’d only gotten pepperoni.
“Because everybody here likes pepperoni,” Cammi offered.
Susie took a total of two bites before she brushed her curls off her shoulders. “What’s going on with you and Tucker?”
I took a breath. “Susie, I don’t know, and I have a small problem.”
“Let us fix it,” she said firmly.
“I don’t know if you can fix it.” I let out a startled laugh.
“We can try. Susie likes to fix everything,” Cammi said dryly.
“I have a lot of baggage about relationships, and I tend to fall in love with everyone. My old therapist told me I was in love with the thought of being in love. I’m not sure if I’m in love with Tucker, but I’m in love with being in love with Tucker, and I feel crazy.
He was distant for a few days, so I decided I needed to stop being stupid. Because I can’t take it.”
“Can’t take what?” Daphne pressed.
“Getting desperate and feeling like I’m falling apart because some man doesn’t love me,” I said flatly.
“Oh.” Susie eyed me, her gaze understanding. “But what if Tucker does love you? Maybe you should have a conversation with him.”
“I probably should. I’m working up to it.”
“Like I said before, I have a feeling about you and Tucker,” Daphne offered softly.
I looked over at her, smiling. “I know, but?—”
“Tucker loves you,” she said solemnly. “You have to trust me on this.”
I burst into tears. Then I discovered what it was like to have women who were actually nice and trying to be my friends fuss over me.
It wasn’t how I felt with Emily, that friend who knew me in a way no other friend could because of what we’d been through together.
But it wasn’t supposed to be how it was with her.
My life was different now, and I was changing and growing. It was good in a different way.
I felt better, and I was able to laugh a little while later. I even scrambled up the nerve to ask Susie about Ludie’s plans for the business and what to do when the timing was right.
“I am all over it,” she said with an enthusiastic nod. “I helped Cammi get her business loan. We’ll do it together. If anything legal needs to happen, Garrett is our guy.”
“I met him,” I replied. “He kind of intimidates me.”
Risa laughed softly. “Yeah, he can come off that way, but I promise he’s nice.”
“I don’t think I can afford to pay an attorney or you,” I said honestly, glancing back at Susie.
Susie waved her hand airily. “I will help you for free because you’re my friend. If it was a lot of work, I would be honest with you and tell you that I couldn’t do it because I value my time. I already have all the forms lined out. We just fill in your info.”
“You should specialize in doing something for women’s businesses,” Daphne said from her other side.
Susie glanced over, her eyes widening. “I should.”
“You should,” Daphne returned with a warm smile.
“Don’t stress. We’ll figure it all out,” Susie said with more confidence than I could muster.
After the group filtered apart, I went upstairs to my apartment, feeling a little bit better. I was going to be okay, no matter what happened with Tucker. Of course, I still missed him that night.
Staring at his last text the following morning, I finally mustered the nerve to reply.
Sure. Maybe we can see each other soon. Let me know when.
I thought I might avoid him a little while more just to get my bearings and somehow get rid of that panicky feeling in my heart whenever I thought about him, but Ludie got ahold of me.
“What is wrong with you?” she asked, hands on her hips as she eyed me one day at work.
“Nothing.”
I suddenly worried I’d screwed up at work. “Did I mess up the ledger yesterday?”
“No! I’m talking about Tucker,” she replied, her eyes narrowing with annoyance.
“Wh-what do you mean?” I sputtered.
“I screwed up a lot when I was younger, but I got something right. I married the right man for me. I’m not saying you have to marry Tucker, but he is the right guy. He is a good man, and he loves you. You’re afraid, so deal with it.”
“Ludie!” I exclaimed, startled at her blunt assessment.
Dan’s chuckle came over my shoulder, and I glanced back to see him in the hallway. “She has opinions, and she’s usually right.”
“Oh, my god,” I muttered, my cheeks burning up.
“Don’t be stupid. At least have the nerve to break up with him to his face,” she added.
“I didn’t—” I began.
She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t lie to me. I ran into him. He said he tried to stop by and talk to you, but you had locked the place up. That’s called being a coward.” On the heels of a hard eye roll, she turned and walked out. “Girl, you’re gonna lose a good man.”