38. Tucker
Chapter Thirty-Eight
TUCKER
Skylar blinked at me before her eyes narrowed, and she shook her head. “No.”
“No, what?”
“There’s no way you love me.” Her voice was raspy, and her eyes held a stoic glint.
“I think I know how I feel.”
My heart twisted at the doubt that came so readily for her. She didn’t believe anyone would be there for her. Life had certainly taught her otherwise, but I wanted to prove her wrong. Even more than I had before.
She shook her head again, swiping at her tears with her knuckles. “How do you know?”
“Because I know what it feels like to love someone. And I love you. You .”
She pressed her lips in a line. “I don’t believe you,” she announced.
“You don’t have to, but I love you. I know this. And I know you have plenty of reasons not to believe in love. While I believe in love, I have plenty of reasons not to want to give love a chance again, but it doesn’t change that I love you.”
“What does it mean?”
“What does what mean?”
“What does it mean that you love me?”
“It means that I miss you when I’m not with you.
It means I think about you just about all the time when I’m not otherwise occupied.
It means that I hope you’re okay all the time.
It means I want to be the person you turn to when you’re having a good day or a bad day.
It means I want you to be that person for me.
It means I feel like I won something when you smile.
It means I know life has banged you up a little bit.
It bangs everybody up. I love you just the way you are, a little cynical.
” She twisted her lips to the side. “Okay, maybe a lot cynical. A little doubtful. So independent and so brave. So loyal. It means I want to do this with you. I want it to be more than what we’ve had. ”
“What have we had?” she whispered.
“The best sex of my life. I don’t want to keep fighting off falling in love with you. Instead, I’d rather just relax into it and let it be what it is and know that we can face what life throws our way together. I’m ready to give it a chance. I figure I’ve got a little luck on my side.”
“How can you say that? You fell in love with someone in high school, and she died,” Skylar said so bluntly it should have hurt.
But it didn’t. It was a bracing breath of fresh air, the facts of what happened when I was younger.
“I know. I’ve already been unlucky, so I figure maybe I have less of a chance of that happening again.
The same goes for you. I don’t expect you to tell me the same thing. I hope maybe I can earn your trust.”
Skylar was quiet for several beats of my heart. Her eyes searched mine before dipping down. She slowly unfurled her arms from around her waist and laced her fingers together. She took a quick, sharp breath, almost as if she were bracing herself before her eyes lifted to mine again.
She whispered, “I already trust you, Tucker.”
“You do?” This surprised me. I didn’t think Skylar trusted anyone. Faith and trust weren’t something she handed out easily.
“I do.” She looked down again, and I saw her shoulders rise as she drew in a gulp of air.
This time when they lifted to mine again, she looked so vulnerable it was all I could do not to kneel in front of her, pull her in my arms, and just tell her it would all be okay.
I would somehow make it okay. I would bend the will of the universe to mine.
“I don’t want to tell you this, but I think I love you,” she finally said, her voice as clear as a bell. My heart felt like a pair of hands loudly punching the sky.
“I used to be in love with falling in love. I thought I was in love all the time. I just wanted someone, anyone to love me, and I didn’t have the best judgment in relationships and who to trust. But with you, I tried not to be in love with being in love.
I tried really hard not to be desperate, and I don’t actually feel desperate.
Which is why I think I’m probably really in love. ” She swallowed, blinking rapidly.
For a few seconds, that guarded, vulnerable look in her eyes—a look I knew so well—fell away as we stared at each other. She blinked and looked down again.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
When she looked over at me again, her expression was almost shy. “For telling me how you felt and for trusting me.”
“Well, you kind of make it hard not to,” she grumbled.
My lips twitched with a smile. “Really?”
“Yeah, you’re nice, honest, and straightforward. You have good friends. Everybody says you’re a great guy. I don’t even know what to think. I usually date assholes.”
“How about you not worry about it?”
“I worry all the time. You better be ready for that. Because if you can’t handle that, well, you might as well forget about it.”
I smiled. “I can handle it.”
I stood, taking the two steps between our chairs and lifting her into my arms as I sat back down.
“What are you doing?” she squeaked.
“Holding you.”
“Oh.”
She was stiff for a second before she softened and relaxed. She rested her head against my shoulder, and we sat there quietly. After a few moments, she lifted her head, peering up at me.
“What is it?” I prompted.
“I didn’t expect this.”
“Yeah, me neither. Join the club.”
Skylar smiled, the joy in her eyes sending my heart flying.
We were going to go back to her place, but she pointed out that tonight was staff dinner at the lodge.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” I asked.
“Well, they expect you,” she explained.
I laughed softly. “They do.”
So we had dinner there.
Afterward, we lounged around the table, and Daphne glanced over at us. “So everything’s okay?”
Skylar looked up at me. “Everything’s great.”
“Tell me what happened,” Daphne pressed.
I decided to keep it simple. “I fell in love with Skylar.”
When I glanced down at Skylar, her cheeks were bright pink.
Daphne let out a whoop. Everyone laughed, and then I remembered something.
“Hey, has anyone noticed that cargo container in the hangar near the public restrooms?” I asked.
Flynn looked puzzled. Nora shook her head. Diego nodded. “Oh, yeah. Saw that the other day.”
I glanced down at Skylar. “Told you.”
She burst out laughing. Then we finally went back to Skylar’s place.