15. Grant
Chapter Fifteen
GRANT
Thank fuck, my next day was busy even though it was a weekend. We didn't take a single day off in the summer. Not when it came to scheduling flights. We got a last-minute call to cover an overnight trip to Katmai National Forest.
My morning started at seven and didn't end until my last flight touched down. I was grateful for being busy because I needed something to focus on. Even with that, I was half out of it. Holy hell, Harley had blown my fucking mind the night before.
Hot didn't even come close to our time together. Inferno maybe. I was fucked six ways to Sunday. I knew I had a problem on my hands. Like an idiot, I’d thought if I just got her out of my system, that was all I had to do.
I'd been crushing on her for over a year.
I didn't even know how I was going to look her older brother in the eye.
I felt like I’d broken a few rules. I also knew there was no way I would give Harley up, not yet. I would just deal with the complications.
We would follow her rules because I didn't want my little sister all up in my business either. I happened to know Cat had a habit of sleeping with earplugs. The reason for it was depressing. Aside from our dad bouncing in and out of our lives, when he was around, he drank and fought a lot with our mom. We’d all dealt with it in our own way.
Nora had given Cat a pair of earplugs because Cat would wake up in the night and crawl into Nora's bed when she was scared from his shouting.
I gave myself a mental shake. I didn’t need to dwell on things I couldn’t ever change.
I would enjoy watching Harley try to stay quiet.
All that weekend, Cat was gone. We used every minute of it to the fullest. I might have been busy during the day, as was Harley. But those two more nights we had? We were both exhausted by the time Monday morning rolled around.
Monday evening, I came back to the staff house a little later than usual. In all honesty, it was because I wanted to make sure Cat and Harley were there. I didn't know if I could keep my hands to myself if I had the chance.
When I walked in through the door, Cat and Harley were on the sectional. Cat was on one side, and Harley was tucked in the corner with her laptop. The scene felt normal. I told myself I could do this without fighting a raging hard-on all night.
“Hey, hey,” I called.
Cat leaned her head back, rolling it to the side as she smiled. “Hey!”
“How was your weekend?” I asked as I hung up my jacket and kicked my shoes into the disorganized shoe tray by the door.
“It was good. Had some good food, hung out with my friend, and did some shopping,” Cat replied.
“Get anything good?”
Cat rolled her eyes as I plunked down on the couch across from her. That meant I was actually closer to Harley, but I told myself she had nothing to do with why I sat there. I was talking to Cat so I wanted to face her.
“I wasn't shopping for me. I never shop for myself. I was getting stuff for the lodge—food, supplies for the kitchen, and some part that I had to pick up for Flynn,” Cat explained.
“That’s usually what I do in Anchorage. How was your day?” I asked as I looked toward Harley.
She tapped something on her keyboard before looking up. I swear to God, the second our gazes collided, bolts of electricity sizzled in the air between us.
“Good,” she said. Her tone was casual and relaxed, although I didn't miss the subtle flush cresting on her cheeks. “I worked on the resort website and did some transcription stuff.”
“You still do that?” Cat asked.
Harley shrugged. “Here and there. I know this might sound weird, but I actually find it relaxing.”
“You do?” Cat and I asked in unison.
Harley grinned as she smiled at us. “I doubt you two would understand since you're both outdoorsy Alaskan types. I kind of get into a zone. I just listen to the recording and type everything out. It’s oddly soothing.”
“It's medical transcription, right?” Cat prompted.
“Yep. It’s doctors transcribing their notes and so on. I don't do it much. Too much and I get tired of typing.”
“But how fast do you type?” I asked.
“Over a hundred words a minute, easy.”
Cat’s mouth fell open as I gaped. Harley grinned. “I'm sure you too can both shoot and hunt game and fly planes, but I can type.”
“I don’t fly yet,” Cat corrected.
“I know, but I know if you decide to do it, you totally can.”
“You could too,” Cat insisted.
Harley shrugged. “Maybe so, but I prefer to be a passenger. That responsibility seems a little stressful for me.”
“You know, everything comes with some risk,” I pointed out. “Statistically speaking, it’s less risky than riding in a car.”
“Yeah, but that's not how it feels,” Harley replied.
“Point one to Harley,” Cat teased.
I forced myself to look away. Cat asked me what I wanted to watch, and I shrugged. “I don't care.”
“Really?” she pressed.
“Really.”
She switched to Parks and Rec , one of her favorite comfort shows. “When are we doing card night?” she asked Harley once the show was on. “Soon, right?”
Harley shrugged. “Whenever you want.”
“So what's the deal? Am I supposed to be there for it or not?” I asked.
“We’re gonna start with just girls because you guys did guys for a long time,” Cat said tartly.
“What if the guys want to have a card night?” I countered.
“Well, since you're the only guy who lives here now, you're outnumbered by the women,” Cat said pointedly.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. We'll do guys’ night up at the lodge.”
“Sounds like a plan, but Daphne is bringing food over here,” Cat returned.
“You know she’ll leave some for us.”
Cat rolled her eyes and then nodded. “Of course, she will. She's generous like that.”
“You would too,” Harley interjected.
Cat grinned. “I would.”
“Because you're generous like that,” Harley repeated.
Except for the fact that I was having trouble with that whole raging hard-on issue, the night was fairly normal.
I was pretty positive Cat didn't pick up on anything.
Harley went up to bed before we did, which also wasn't unusual.
It wasn't set in stone, but she tended to go to bed sooner.
Cat was young and still didn't think she needed to sleep.
She would scroll on her phone and watch a show in the background for hours most nights.
I went into the kitchen for a glass of water. When I returned to the living room, Cat said, “Your crush is showing.”
“Uh, excuse me?” I sat down across from her again.
“Your crush on Harley. It's not a secret, you know.”
“Cat,” I warned through gritted teeth.
“What?” Her brows hitched up.
“I do not have a crush on Harley.”
She sighed. “Yeah, you do. It's like when Flynn had his thing for Daphne.”
“It is not like that,” I ground out.
I really didn't think it was like that. Flynn had been head over heels with Daphne pretty much from the day she showed up here. It just took him a while to figure it out.
Cat shrugged. “Suit yourself. I think she kind of likes you too.”
“What?” Unfortunately, I didn't catch myself fast enough on that.
Cat burst out laughing. “See, you want to know, don't you?”
I sighed. “Whatever.”
“You two have it bad for each other, but you do that thing.”
“What thing?”
“Playing it cool. Although she's way worse than you about it.”
I knew Cat had a point. I just didn't know Harley had been playing it cool about me.
I wasn't about to ask any further questions.
I simply said, “Well, I don't know about me, but you're right about Harley.
She plays it cool about everything. I'll tell you what.
If she's good at poker, don't play with her.”
Cat eyed me. “What do you mean about that?”
“People who play it close to the chest like she does all the time are probably pretty good at not letting anyone know when they have a good hand. Got to be careful.”
“I don't think I'm good at poker,” she announced.
“Should we practice?”
At Cat's nod, I fetched a deck of cards out of the drawer by the couch, and we began playing.
We were a few hands in when she asked, “Do you miss Mom?”
I looked up quickly. “Of course, I do.”
Out of all of us, Cat spoke about Mom the least. I was pretty sure she missed her the most. I figured losing someone you loved was a relative experience in a sense.
The way it was for me might not be the way it was for someone else.
Cat had been the youngest, and she'd also carried more of the brunt of our dad. Flynn had a different dad from us, but his dad had simply been gone. He’d knocked up our mom, and that was it.
She’d never heard from him again. I didn't know what was worse.
Later, when our dad’s health started to fail, and he needed our mom, he hung around more. That meant more arguments and more drinking. Nora and I had been a little older. Not that it had been easy, but we’d managed. He’d scared Cat, and we all knew it.
“I’ll always miss Mom,” I added. When she looked up quickly, I saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. “You okay?”
Her lips twisted. Her voice was a little thick when she spoke. “I've just been thinking about her lately. I'm eighteen now, and she's not here.” She swung her arm in an arc. “She didn't get to see that you guys built this. She didn't get to see everything Flynn and you did.”
A tear rolled down her cheek, and she swiped it away quickly. Cat did not like to be hugged when she was crying, so I waited.
“And, now I'm all grown up. She doesn't even get to taste the food that I cook.”
“No, she doesn't,” I said, my throat feeling tight.
“I wish you'd been here.”
“What do you mean?” I prompted.
“I understand why you went to college, but I missed you. It was so scary that night when she collapsed.”
I took a quick breath. I knew Cat wasn't trying to guilt me, but I still felt like hell about it.
“I know. I wish I'd been there too.”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything,” my little sister said softly.
I nodded. I’d mentally replayed what the doctor at the emergency room had told us the next day.
He said we couldn't have stopped it. She had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, something that caused the heart muscles to thicken and could occasionally disrupt the heart’s electrical system and result in sudden death.
Even though I’d intellectually believed the doctor, I harbored emotional doubts.
“I know,” I said, my voice ragged on the edges.
“Nora and I weren’t doing too great.”
“Nora was sixteen. She hated life,” I offered.
Cat giggled a little and swiped another tear away. “Thanks,” she said quietly.
“For what?”
“For always being there.”
“I wasn't there that night,” I pointed out.
“No, but you drove down from Anchorage in the dark and met us at the hospital. You convinced the court to let you be our guardian until Flynn could get here.”
It had taken Flynn weeks to get back. He was across the world on active duty in the Air Force at the time.
As a young college kid, the judge had had his doubts about me.
Having grown up in the area, I had several people support me, including a friend of our mom’s who promised to check on us regularly.
They allowed me to be the temporary guardian until Flynn could get home.
After that, I stayed home. I’d eventually finished my college degree, but in fits and starts with most of it online.
I hadn't been able to bring myself to leave after that and hadn't wanted to.
“What if one of us has that?” Cat asked.
“We don’t. We’ve all been checked since,” I pointed out.
She took a breath. “I know, but I worry.” After a beat, she added, as if to herself, “All right, I'm done with this conversation.”
That was classic Cat. She didn't like being hugged when she was crying, and when she was done with a heavy topic, she just wanted to move on. We continued playing cards.
After I went to bed later and I knew Cat was in her room, I knocked lightly on the wall between my bedroom and Harley’s. A moment later, my door opened, and Harley tiptoed into the room.