Chapter 25
Igrip the steering wheel tightly as I drive. Ivan sits silently beside me, letting me gather my thoughts before I speak.
I have to take her name, Ivan. Its the only way her father will let me marry her.
Ivan nods slowly, taking in this information. What will happen to the Morozov Bratva then?
I sigh, having played out this scenario in my head countless times already. Aleksandr will have to take over. Hes the only one I trust to lead in my absence.
Youve shielded him from this life for so long. Do you think hes ready to step up? Ivan asks cautiously.
I never wanted him to, but hes strong-willed enough to do it now. Boris wont be able to control him anymore. I smile wryly. Im not worried about Aleksandrs ability to lead. He can handle it. What concerns me is how hell react to the news.
Ivan looks at me questioningly.
He looks up to me. I love that boy like my own son. But this will make him feel like I chose Sara over him. My grip on the wheel tightens as frustration wells up inside me.
Ivan places a steadying hand on my shoulder. Hell understand, eventually. Dont let him hear it from someone else first.
I nod, knowing Ivan is right. We are heading there now to tell him.
Im with you, Ivan says supportively.
We drive the rest of the way in pensive silence, both turning over this new reality in our minds. I know this path wont be easy, but Sara is worth any sacrifice. Shes my light in this dark world. And our child.
I pull up to Aleksandrs house, the tires crunching on the gravel driveway. Its one of the many homes on the 50 acres of land owned by the Bratva. It is where we lived as children. As usual, the room is dark when I enter. I sigh and start opening the curtains to let in some light.
Aleksandr comes out from the back room and breaks into a smile when he sees me. Dimitri! What are you doing here? He greets me warmly.
I return the smile, happy to see my brother. Just came by for a talk.”
Aleksandr enthusiastically greets Ivan as well. Then he frowns slightly at the open curtains. I thought I told you I prefer keeping the place dark. The sunlight bothers my eyes when Im working.
I sigh again, knowing his tendency to shut out the light. You need some fresh air and sun every once in a while. Its not healthy to stay cooped up in the dark all the time.
Im fine, dont worry about me, Aleksandr brushes off my concern. He studies me for a moment. Whats going on? You seem upset.
Its nothing, I lie, not ready to break the news just yet. This needs to be handled delicately.
Aleksandr doesnt seem convinced, but he doesnt push me. Well, let me get you and Ivan some beers at least.
He disappears into the kitchen while I take a seat on the leather couch. My mind is heavy with the weight of what I must tell him. But right now, I just want to spend time with him before everything changes.
I watch as Ivan casually wanders around Aleksandrs living room, peeking into drawers and cabinets. Hes always been protective, watching out for potential threats, even in the most familiar of spaces.
Ivan pauses as he opens one drawer, pulling out a pistol . He holds it up questioningly, meeting my gaze. I cant help but smirk a little, despite the implication that Aleksandr feels the need to have a hidden gun.
See, hell do just fine leading the Bratva, I say to Ivan, my acknowledgment tasting bittersweet on my tongue. The boys no fool, he knows how to watch his own back.
Aleksandr returns then with three chilled beers. He frowns at Ivan, who is still standing there with the pistol in hand.
Do you mind not snooping around my place like youre on guard duty? Aleksandr says in annoyance. Come on, lets just relax and enjoy these drinks together.
Ivan mumbles an apology and puts the gun back where he found it. We all take a seat in the living room. I take the armchair while Ivan and Aleksandr sit on the couch.
Aleksandr asks us how things are going at the university lately. I take a swig of beer before responding.
Its fine, classes and all that, I say dismissively. Not going to miss it too much when Im done though. I’m stalling. I need to tell him. But I can’t. Not now, not yet.
Aleksandr perks up at this. Hey, speaking of that, any chance I could just skip college altogether? he asks hopefully. Im really not feeling ready for that kind of social scene.
I shake my head. No, youre going to college. Its important, Aleksandr.
He scowls and turns to Ivan, trying to get him on his side. But Ivan just gives a slight shrug, remaining loyally neutral as always when Aleksandr and I disagree on something.
With a frustrated sigh, Aleksandr leans back in his seat and takes a long swig of his beer. I feel a pang, knowing this carefree dynamic between us will change soon. But this needs to be done, for the sake of my future with Sara. I just hope Aleksandr will understand.
I take another swig of beer just as Aleksandr suddenly asks about Sara.
So, when do I get to meet this mystery woman? Aleksandr asks with a grin. I want to see if shes as gorgeous as you claim.
Ivan and I exchange an uneasy look, which Aleksandr doesnt miss. His smile fades as he glances between us.
Whats with the weird silence, you two?
I clear my throat, knowing I cant avoid this any longer. Theres something I need to tell you, Aleksandr. About Sara and me.
Aleksandrs brows furrow in confusion and apprehension. He waits for me to continue.
Were getting married soon, I say slowly.
Aleksandrs face lights up. Hey, thats great news! We should be celebrating, not moping around.
I shake my head regretfully. Its not that simple. Saras father... he has certain demands if Im to marry her.
What kind of demands? Aleksandr asks cautiously.
I meet his gaze. I have to take her last name. And walk away from the Bratva. He is a Mafia boss.
Aleksandr sucks in a sharp breath, his eyes flashing with anger and betrayal. He swears under his breath as he takes in the information, gripping his beer bottle tightly.
There has to be another way, he says fiercely. You cant just abandon everything youve built here.
I wish there was, believe me, I reply heavily. But this is the only way Saras father will agree to let me marry her. I dont have a choice.
Aleksandr is breathing hard, shaking his head in disbelief. I know this hurts him deeply.
I stare down at my beer bottle, unable to meet Aleksandrs accusing gaze. The silence in the room is deafening as we both process my revelation.
Is she worth it? Aleksandr finally asks, his voice raw with emotion. Giving up everything for this Mafia princess?
His words cut deep, mirroring the conflict Ive felt wrestling within me. I know the sacrifice Im asking of him - of both of us - is immense.
I didnt plan for this, Aleksandr, I say heavily. Believe me, walking away from the Bratva... from you... its the hardest thing Ive ever had to do. I meet his eyes then, wanting him to see my sincerity. But I love her. And our child is growing inside her. Theyre my family now too.
Aleksandr shakes his head, looking away. I can feel the pain and anger radiating from him.
Hey, look at me, I say gently. When he reluctantly meets my gaze again, I continue. I know how much Im asking of you. Taking over the Bratva, dealing with the backlash of my choice... it wont be easy.
I grip his shoulder tightly. But you are more than ready for this. Youre strong, Aleksandr. Stronger than I ever was at your age. You can do this.
He doesnt look convinced, uncertainty clouding his youthful features. I curse myself for putting him in this position.
Im sorry Ive let you down, brother, I say heavily. You deserve better than the mess Im leaving you with. But I believe in you, with all my heart. You will rise up and do great things for the Bratva.
No... no, Dimitri. this is fucked up. You have fucked up
I let Aleksandrs words sink in. Hes right - I have fucked up. Theres no denying that walking away from the Bratva, the only family Ive ever known, is a monumental betrayal.
Youre absolutely right, I say heavily. Ive made a mess of things. All I can do now is try to clean it up as best I can.
I meet Aleksandrs gaze, seeing the swirl of emotions there - anger, disappointment, uncertainty. I know theres nothing I can say to make this better or easier. But I meant what I said - I believe in you, Aleksandr. Youre more than capable of leading the Bratva.
Aleksandr shakes his head bitterly. Maybe so. But that doesnt change the fact that youre abandoning us.
Im not abandoning you, I reply firmly. Ill always be here if you need guidance or help. Anything at all, you call me and Ill come running. Understand?
Aleksandr doesnt respond, his jaw clenched tight.
Im still your brother, no matter what. That will never change.
For what its worth, Ill be here to support you too, Aleksandr, Ivan says. You wont be alone in this.
I watch helplessly as Aleksandr moves away from me, putting physical distance between us to match the growing emotional chasm. His youthful features are etched with bitterness and disappointment as he looks at me now - not with the warmth of a younger brother, but the condemnation of a betrayed ally.
I should have known youd pull something like this eventually, Aleksandr says scathingly, his words cutting me to the core. Abandoning your people for some tail. He spits on the ground in disgust. The great Dimitri Morozov, brought down by a pair of pretty eyes and a Mafia dowry.
I open my mouth to respond, to try and make him understand, but Aleksandr holds up a hand to silence me.
Save it. I dont want to hear any more of your excuses or justifications. His voice drips with contempt. When did you think to tell Father of this... arrangement.
Ever the traditionalist, our father will see my choice as the ultimate betrayal of the brotherhood.
Aleksandr, please listen- I begin, desperate, but he cuts me off again.
No, you listen, Aleksandr says coldly. You made your choice here today. And now you get to live with the consequences. His eyes bore into mine, hard and unforgiving. Ill be the one to tell Father. He deserves to hear it from family, not some bastard mafioso.
I flinch at his words, each one landing like a physical blow. I search Aleksandrs face for any hint of the boy I helped raise but find only hostility in the set of his jaw, the flash of fury in his eyes.
Dont bother inviting me to the wedding, Aleksandr adds dismissively as he turns to leave. I have no interest in celebrating your betrayal.
His parting words slice through my heart like a blade. I reach for him instinctively. Aleksandr, please...
But he is already striding to his room, not even sparing me a backward glance. As Ivan and I stand there in hollow silence, I grapple with the magnitude of what Ive lost - not just my position, but my brother.
I stand there frozen, staring at the closed door of Aleksandrs bedroom as his rejection settles heavily upon my shoulders. Ivan places a gentle hand on my arm, breaking me from my stupor.
Give him time, hell come around, Ivan says reassuringly.
I let out a bitter laugh. No, you dont know Aleksandr like I do. He can hold a grudge tighter than a vice.
I run a hand through my hair in agitation as I start pacing the room. I knew hed be angry, but I wasnt prepared for...
My voice trails off. The sheer contempt in Aleksandrs eyes is seared into my mind.
Ivan regards me sympathetically. This is a lot for him to process. Once the shock wears off-
Damn it, Ivan, this isnt just shock, I snap, whirling on him. I betrayed him. Made him feel like a fool for looking up to me all these years.
I resume my relentless pacing, emotions churning violently within me.
Hes not going to just come around. Not this time. I let out a mirthless chuckle. Ill be lucky if he even spits in my direction.
From his room, Aleksandrs voice suddenly rings out. Hey! Are you deaf? Close my damn curtains and get the hell out!
I flinch at his acidic tone. Without a word, I walk over and tug the curtains closed, shutting out the last remaining light in the room.
Lets go, I mutter to Ivan. I cant bear to be in this darkness a moment longer.
Outside, I pause on the front step and glance back at the house that was our home for years. Aleksandrs silhouette is briefly visible through the curtain as he moves about inside.
My heart aches knowing that the warmth we once shared within those walls is likely gone forever now. Ive damaged something precious and irreplaceable.
Ivan gives my shoulder a supportive squeeze as we get into the car. But his reassurances do little to ease the hollow ache inside me.