Thirty-Three
THIRTY-THREE
I pull up outside the McCallan residence at eight thirty in the morning. I took a guess that the kids would be off to school since last time I was here, everyone was out the door by seven forty-five like a whirling dervish.
The gates are closed so I have to use the buzzer to request access. There’s no intercom so I don’t quite know how they’ll see who is wanting in. I press it, the buzzer sounding, and wait for something to happen. My eyes wander and I finally spot a camera planted on the juncture of where the fence meets a brick pillar. I gulp knowing that someone is going to see my face, and that’s it’s possible I won’t be allowed in.
My fears are squashed when the gates begin to slide open, and I slowly move my car forward. The tires crunch over the pea gravel and I park just shy of the front door. I blow out a big breath and wipe off my sweaty hands on my jeans. Just then, the door opens and out steps an angry looking Vaughan.
“It’s now or never, Hendrix,” I tell myself and pull on the handle to let me out.
I slam the door shut behind me and keep eye contact with Vaughan, who I realize is now holding a gun, and stumble back against my car.
“Woah. Mr. McCallan. I just want to talk to you. What’s the gun for?” I hold my trembling hands out in front of me.
“To protect what’s mine. And I don’t mean my house.”
The patter of tiny feet echoes across the tile and I see a bright little face peek out from behind him.
“Hey! I know you.” AJ bounds down the front steps and comes running over to me. “Where’s my stister?” she asks, presumably asking about Dagen.
“Hi AJ. I’m actually going to go visit your sister soon. I just want to talk with your mommy and daddy real quick.”
She pouts, but then shrugs and pulls on my hand. “Okay. C’mon. I wanna show you my new doll. Do you wike dolls…” she searches for my name, but she’s like three years old and probably can’t remember what she had for breakfast, much less the name of a guy she met once.
“Henny. You can call me Henny, little lady.” Her eyes light up, a glowing amber tone and something hits me like a thunderbolt.
“Henny,” she giggles. “Thas funny. Wike a chicken.”
Her little face breaks into more laughter and it makes me laugh.
“Yeah. I guess so.” I look up at Vaughan who watches our interaction with the same stern look he greeted me with. “Is it okay if I come in? I’d really appreciate it if you and your wife could give me just a few minutes of your time.”
“Vaughan,” a voice calls. “Who is at the–Hendrix?”
Cami pushes past Vaughan to find me standing next to her daughter who still holds my hand.
“Good morning, Mrs. McCallan. I apologize for interrupting your morning. I was hoping I could speak with the two of you.”
She looks at Vaughan then notices the gun hanging from his hand.
“Are you kidding me, right now? Give me that goddamn gun, Vaughan.” A spell is broken when he hears his wife’s voice and she yanks the gun from his hand.
Pointing it down, she opens the clip and finds it empty. Her eyes spit fire and I see the man visibly cower. It sends chills down my spine.
Tucking it in the back of her pants, Camille says, “Please come in. And it’s Camille. Remember?”
“Yes ma–Camille.” AJ pulls on me once more and this time I let her lead me into the house.
We reach the front door, which Vaughan still blocks, and Camille tugs him back by his arm, opening up enough room to let me by.
“Cut it out, dammit. Move out of the way,” she bites out
“Aaumm. Mommy. You say a bad word.”
“I know sweetheart.” Camille squats and lifts AJ up in her arms. “Sometimes it’s the only word I can find when Daddy’s being a turd head.”
AJ lets loose another one of her sweet little giggles and Vaughan’s face turns red as Camille walks to the living room and sets her down. A snack and a puzzle gets sat on a small table, and the tv gets turned on. Once the cartoons have stolen the toddlers attention, Camille motions for Vaughan and I to follow her to the kitchen. We do so without question and sit at the kitchen dinette table, the two of them on one side and me on the other.
I fold my hands on the table and inhale some courage. “I owe you an apology for not coming to you once Dagen and I decided we’d like to try a relationship beyond…” I struggle to tell him beyond fucking , but I think he understands. “I promised to look out for her, and that was my full and only intention. But sometimes life doesn’t always follow the rules.”
Vaughan huffs and turns his head, while Camille pats his shoulder and says, “I think we more than most understand.”
“I’m sure there’s a list of things you find that are wrong about me. I’m older. I’m not so perfect. I live two states away. But all that should really matter is that I want to be with your daughter.”
“Do you love her?” Vaughan snarls.
“It’s headed that way.” The honesty is shocking to both of our ears. “Look. The distance between you three is killing her. Every day, the hurt takes over the joy a little more. I hate that I can’t be there physically to reassure her, but that’s your job. I’m not her parent, just the man who’s going to fall to pieces if she ever leaves.”
Camille’s eyes blink rapidly as she bats away the tears that build, and Vaughan’s throat bobs as he swallows.
“She’s hurting?” he asks.
“She is. Dagen won’t tell me as much, but I can hear it in her voice. She misses you guys. She misses Sloane and AJ, but she’s afraid to call because she sees it as caving to your demands. You don’t have to like me. That’s fine. But she does. Did you ever think that there may be something redeeming about me to have your daughter so blatantly disobey you? She’s the most pure and loving person I’ve ever met. I don’t think she’d fight so hard for something so evil.” My body sags in my chair as I breathe out the last word.
A tear falls over Camille’s lid and Vaughan’s breathing turns more labored. They both are flimsy dams waiting to burst. It’s obvious they feel the same pain and distance Dagen does.
“I’m going to be here for her as long as she’ll have me, but I won’t come between a family. If you can’t find a way to accept our relationship then…then I’ll have to break her heart. What’s something you can see yourself living with and being okay with? Me in your life, or a broken daughter?”
Neither one says a thing as they stare at each other. My nerves are warring with my anger. I want to bang on this table and scream at them to wake up. If they can’t see what harm they’re doing, one of us is going to lose Dagen and I don’t think any of us will survive a life without her.
After another minute passes in silence, I slowly rise from my chair and walk over to where AJ sits. I squat down and she smiles at me.
“I have to go, AJ. Be a good girl?” She nods, a food pouch still attached to her mouth. “Can I have a high five?”
She puts down her pouch and holds her chubby hand up to mine, giving it a hard smack.
“Bye bye, chicken,” she giggles.
“Bye bye.” I tap her little nose and brave myself to make the drive to Dagen’s house. I don’t know how she’s going to feel about this. I’m worried I may have just made it so much worse.
“Hendrix. Wait please.” I freeze in my tracks, terrified that Vaughan may be hiding another gun that has a bullet with my name on it.
He steps toe to toe with me, his face still hard and unreadable, then holds his hand out. I gawk at it, wondering if it’s going to rise and wrap around my throat. When he holds steady, I take it cautiously with my hand.
“That took some balls to come here. Not many men would be brave enough to face the unapproving father of the woman they’d move mountains for, and I respect that. It’s just…it’s hard for a dad to admit he’s not the number one man in his daughter’s life. It hurts like hell, but I hate that I’ve brought her so much pain.”
He drops my hand and Camille stands beside him, supporting him with a gentle touch. I get a flash of what life with Dagen could be like. The stubborn and the strong part. I feel like maybe Vaughan and I have some things in common. Mainly how we each want to protect Dagen from things that threaten to break her.
“I just want to see her happy, sir. She makes me happy so I think it’s the least I can do for her. And right now, she could use some more happiness in her life. I’m headed up to see her. I should be there just after her last class and hopefully before her study group.”
“You know all of that?” Camille asks.
Nodding I tell them, “I know when she wakes and when she eats. I know what she dreams about and what makes her smile each day. This isn’t some momentary fascination for me. I don’t know where this relationship is headed, but I’m traveling down this road wherever it may lead.”
Camille gives me a warm smile and rests her head on Vaughan’s shoulder. “Have you eaten, Hendrix?”
“No ma’am. I grabbed coffee and headed straight here. I wanted to be sure to catch y’all before you got busy with your day.”
“AJ,” she calls. “Want to help me make Hendrix some breakfast?”
Little arms raise high up in the air and she pops up from her chair, abandoning the puzzle and cartoons.
“Chicken. His name is chicken, Momma.” We all laugh as she rushes into the kitchen, dragging a stool over to the stove. “Are we gonna cook or what?”
Vaughan pats my shoulder and passes me a look that I interpret as an approval. A silent one, but one nonetheless.