Thirty-Five
THIRTY-FIVE
I drove around for over an hour, my thoughts running wild with shock and disbelief. It took a lot of scolding myself before realizing I needed to be a man and face my responsibilities. I had to get back to Dagen and be the support she needs right now. I remembered that this wasn’t something that was happening to just me. I may have been scared, but Dagen had to be terrified.
I made a second stop at the convenience store and hauled my ass back to Dagen’s house. I screeched to a stop in front of it and ran through the front door, not caring if anyone was on the other side.
When I walk into her room and see that she isn’t on her bed, I begin to panic. I rush to her bathroom and find her sleeping on the cold floor rolled into a ball. Squatting down, I lift her up into my arms and her eyes blink open. They’re swollen and red as is her face that laid on the hard surface.
“Hendrix?” Her voice is rough and scratchy.
“It’s me, little mouse.” I kiss her forehead and she lifts her weary arms around my neck. “I’m sorry. I freaked out a bit, but I’m here and I’m sorry.”
I take a seat on the closed lid of the toilet and adjust her in my arms.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not Dagen. Don’t excuse my behavior. I’m almost thirty fucking years old, not a punk kid who runs when things get tough.”
Her body shakes with a soft cry. I hold her to me tighter and close my eyes.
“I bought you a test. Think you can wake up enough to take it?”
Her head lifts to meet mine and she nods. I stand up and set her on her feet, then pull the three different tests I bought.
“I didn’t know which was best,” I shrug and I’m rewarded with a small smile.
I open the boxes and together we read the instructions together. I kiss her cheek then leave her to take care of her business.
I sit on the bed, my hands knotted between my legs, and stare down at my feet while my thoughts spiral. What happens to us if she is pregnant? Will she move to Cattywump? She has school to finish so that isn’t an option. But I have the garage and the bar and my brothers. It’s just as difficult to pick up my life and move to Texas. So does that mean I won’t get to see Dagen? Our baby? Do we get married? Do I buy a cemetery plot since Vaughan will definitely kill me now?
The panic sets in just as the door opens and Dagen steps out with cautious steps.
“Well?” I ask.
“We have to wait for fifteen minutes.” I hold out my arm and she quickly tucks herself into my side. “What are we going to do if they’re positive?”
I sigh. “I don’t know, little mouse. I was just asking myself the same thing.”
We sit in silence for what feels like days when the timer on her phone finally chimes. She looks at me, crying once more, and I touch her face.
“We’ll figure it out,” I assure her, but she doesn’t seem convinced.
I take her hand in mine and guide her to the bathroom counter where three sticks lie, side by side. Together we look at the first one, and then the next and then the last one. I feel her body sag and catch her right before she hits the floor.
Positive. All three. Dagen is pregnant. And I’m going to be a dad.
“Holy fuck,” I say, more to myself than to her.
“I’m so sorry.” She buries her head in my chest.
“Shh. You have nothing to be sorry about. It takes two people to make a baby. This isn't all on you.”
She wails and though I’m doing the same on the inside, outside I remain the support she needs.
Suddenly, all of the unexplainable feelings I had each time I saw AJ hit me. Maybe someone was trying to send me a hint. Maybe little AJ was letting me know I needed to prepare myself.
The blood in my face drains to my toes. In eight months, I could be holding a crying little AJ of my own in my arms. I have no idea how to feel about that, but I can say I’m not angry. I think what I’m feeling is more of Dagen’s light in my life. I think what I feel is content for a life I never thought I could have, but now one I’m looking forward to.
All because of a girl who crashed her car into my town and my life.
“I need to tell my parents,” Dagen whispers as she lays next to me, her arm and leg flung over my body.
“We will. I’ll come back next weekend and we’ll tell them then. For now, let’s just take the rest of our visit for us. I still need to let it sink in more, you know?”
Her head moves against my chest. “Yeah. I know.”
Her roommates returned home one by one over the last couple of hours. Lizzie came in once to see us lying here and probably assumed we were resting. The others haven’t come in and they’ve been respectfully quiet.
“How about you pack your bag and we go to the hotel. It’s the same one as last time. I think it will be good for us to have some privacy.”
“‘K.” She starts to sit up, but I stop her, gripping the back of her head and bringing her lips to meet mine.
It’s the first real kiss between us since I arrived at her school. I never thought my heart could break for someone else, but Dagen has been through so much in the last few weeks and it’s all because of me. And it’s only going to get harder.
“I’m sorry my little mouse,” I tell her when we part.
Her fingers brush over the stubble on my cheeks. “Why are you sorry, Mr. Wolf?”
“For everything. Being an ass to you in the beginning. The distance I caused with your parents. Putting a baby inside of you. That one’s kind of a biggie.”
She smiles, her beautiful face lighting up. “Yeah, that one is a bit of a surprise. But I wouldn’t want to be surprised by anyone else.”
“You better not. If you ever leave me for someone else, I’ll have to hunt down the fucker and pin his ass to a tree.” Those words right there tell me that this, the baby, is only going to make life better.
“Well, try not to get him pregnant since I’m pretty sure that may have been the night you left me with this surprise.” She points to her belly and my eyes stare at the spot that will grow over the months.
Months that I will miss because I’m six hundred miles away. The thought of not being able to see Dagen grow, see her shine as she nurtures our baby inside of her doesn’t settle well with me. I need to figure out a way to rectify that.
“I think I need to move here.”
“What? You can’t be serious. What about your house, your shop and your brothers?”
With a shrug I tell her, “You’re more important than all of that.”
“Um. Didn’t you just tell me that Danté was upset, because he thought just that? That I’d tear you away from him and Malik?”
“He’ll understand. Things are different. Plus, maybe he’ll like the idea of being an uncle. I know Malik will.” I throw my head back when I think of Malik. “Fuck. Malik is going to be even more annoying once he finds out. Yup. Moving is a good idea. I’m going to need room between me and his crazy ass.”
She laughs and pulls my face to look at her. Our chests are pressed together and our hearts speak in a language only they can decipher. If I could, I’d reach inside mine and place it in her hands. She already owns it so she might as well hold onto it tightly. I know she’ll always protect it. I hope I can do the same for her.
I run my tattooed knuckles across her pink cheeks. “What are you doing to me, Dagen McCallan?”
“Showing you what love feels like, Hendrix Dare.”
That’s it. The feeling inside my chest, that foreign emotion I couldn’t pinpoint finally has a name. Love.
I love Dagen McCallan. As fast as it may seem, I have no doubt that it’s true.