Thirty-Seven
THIRTY-SEVEN
Hendrix squeezes my hand when we turn down the long dirt road that leads to my parents house. I picked him up in Dallas yesterday, where he flew in to, and took the evening to prepare for today’s meeting with Mom and Dad.
I threw up –nothing new lately– he had a mild panic attack thinking my Dad’s going bury him under a pile of horse shit, and together we promised not to let anything break us. Not even my parent’s anger once they not only hear that I’m pregnant, but plan to move to Cattywump Bay after graduating.
He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “It’ll be okay, little mouse. No matter what happens, you’ve got me.”
A self-deprecating laugh falls from my mouth. “You say that. Just wait until daddy dearest takes the credit cards and financial support away. I hear I’m a bit of a spoiled brat.”
He gives me one of his heart stopping crooked grins. “One, you are a brat.” I gasp and smack his arm with my free hand. “And two, I’ll take care of you. You’ll never want for anything and neither will T.D.”
I screw up my face at him. “Who’s T.D?”
“Tiny Dare. Until we know if it’s a boy or girl, we’re going with T.D. Then we’ll discuss what his name will be later.”
“Asa,” I tell him without hesitation.
“Asa? Where the hell d’you get that name from?”
“It’s my Dad’s middle name.” His eyes widen and he tenses.
“Asa Dare has a nice ring to it,” he says with a shaky voice and I laugh. “And if T.D. is a girl, Gemma.”
I tilt my head to the side, rolling the name around in my head over and over. “Hmm. That’s…unique.”
“As unique as Asa ,” I roll my eyes at him. “Gemma Dare. That sounds pretty fucking awesome to me.”
“Yeah. I like it. Gemma. Wow. That was easy. Why do people always say that’s the hardest part of having a baby?”
“No kidding. The hardest part to me seems to be the fact that you’re going to push a bowling ball out of an olive.”
I feel lightheaded visualizing that exact scenario. “Oh my god. I can’t do this.”
“Kidding. I’m sure it’s not that bad.” I drop my head back to the headrest and groan. “Welp. Here we are.”
He turns into the driveway, the gate automatically opening when the sensor picks up my tag, and slowly pulls to a stop right in front. The engine is turned off and he turns to face me.
“It’s going to be alright, my little mouse. I promise.”
“Whatever you say, Mr. Wolf.” I don’t hold the same optimism that he does.
He leans over and frames my face as he kisses me. His affection drains me of my worry, and I fall into his universe. The one with the magnetic pull that I can’t resist.
“Time to face the music,” I mumble and go to unbuckle my seatbelt, but he clamps a hand over mine and shakes his head.
“Wait, dammit. How many times do I have to tell you?” He taps me under my chin and unfolds himself from the driver's seat.
His swagger makes me wet as he walks in front of the car to my side, and I wonder if my parents have spotted my car on their phones yet. I could really use him to release the remaining tension in me.
“No. Stop it,” he says, tersely.
“What? I didn’t do anything.”
He reaches over me and unclicks my seatbelt. “You’re biting your lip. I know what you’re thinking and just no. Not right as we’re about to walk into your parent’s house to tell them we’re having a baby.”
“Boo. You’re boring. What happened to the dangerous bad boy who chased me through the woods?” He takes my hand and helps me from the passenger seat.
“He’s still here, but he’s hiding because your dad is for sure going to know I fucked his daughter.”
I snort and cover my mouth. “And you think he didn’t already know that I was sleeping with a thirty year old man when he saw me straddling you like a rodeo bull in your front seat?”
“Shh,” he scolds, gently placing his hand over my mouth. “I’m going to tell him it was an immaculate conception. I need my balls for future kids.”
My heart flutters when he says future kids . When all of this started, I was only hoping to make this last longer than two weeks. Now, Hendrix is talking about future children as we pick out names for the one that’s already on the way.
I smile behind his hand then lick his palm.
“Dagen McCallan. That is uncalled for.” He wraps his arm around my neck and tucks me under his arm.
“Look at you, practicing your dad voice already.” We walk up to the front door and I press my thumb to the pad, unlocking it and pushing it open. “Hello? Anyone home?” I call out.
Hendrix shuts the door behind us just as Mom walks out from the den. “Hi sweetheart. Hi Hendrix. What are you two doing here?”
Here it is. The moment I’ve been dreading for a week.
With a deep breath I tell her, “Well, I wanted to spend the weekend on the ranch, show Hendrix around if that’s okay.”
“Of course it is.” Mom meets us halfway into the hallway and wraps me in a hug and places a kiss on my cheek.
“And I,” Hendrix clears his throat. “ We want to talk with you and Dad. Is he here?”
“He is,” she draws out with a curious eye. “Let me text him and we’ll talk.”
She knits her eyebrows and turns to walk back into the den.
“Where’s AJ?” I ask.
“Nap. There’s some banana bread on the island that I made this morning.” She points to the platter with freshly sliced bread that I usually love.
Right now, the thought of eating makes me a little queasy.
Mom pulls her phone from her pocket to text Dad, and Hendrix leans in and whispers, “I better have a slice of that as it may be my last meal.”
I smack his stomach with the back of my hand and he laughs. I get a napkin, place a slice of bread on it, and slide it over to him.
“So Hendrix,” Mom calls out. “Did you drive into Waco?”
“No ma’am. I flew into Dallas yesterday and Dagen picked me up.” He quickly shoves a chunk of bread in his mouth and moans.
“I know,” I agree “It’s the best.”
“Are you not having any, sweetheart?” Mom looks at me with a piercing stare that makes me squirm.
“I, uh, had a big breakfast. I’ll be sure to have some later.” I pat Hendrix on the arm and walk to the fridge, opening it and getting water for the two of us.
I quickly crack mine open, and take a few chugs to quench my parched mouth. It feels like I’ve been sucking on balls of cotton, it’s so dry. Mom continues to talk to Hendrix and I play over the words I’ve rehearsed a hundred times since last night. I just know that the minute the first one leaves my mouth, I’m going to choke and cry.
I zone out and only come to when I hear my name being called. “Dagen?”
I blink and look around the kitchen to see Hendrix, Mom and now Dad all staring at me.
“Sorry. I was just…I zoned out for a minute.” I give my head a little shake. “Hi Daddy.”
“Hey baby bird.” He holds his arms wide and I slide into them.
His hug is warm and comforting, and he smells offresh air and sunshine. I can’t help the tears that begin to fall.
“What’s wrong, Day?” The concern in his voice is evident.
I sniff and lie, “I just missed you.”
He folds his arms around me and places his hand behind my head. “I missed you too.”
We stand like that for another minute. “Want to sit down?” Mom asks.
I shake my head and Dad holds my hand as we walk over to the couch. I release his hand and grab Hendrix’s, sitting us down on the leather sofa. I scoot close, gripping his hand with a white knuckle hold, and blink away my tears.
Mom and Dad sit on the chair facing us, Dad sitting with Mom resting on the arm of her chair and placing her hand on his shoulder.
“What’s going on, Dagen? Is everything okay?” Dad wonders.
“Yeah. Things are, well I–they–” I look at Hendrix and he gives me a small nod, encouraging me to go on. “So, you know how when I left here after finding out about… her, ” I refuse to speak that woman’s name ever again. “I didn’t really take much with me. Thank god I already had my phone and my driver’s license in my pocket or I would have really been in trouble.”
Dad looks at me and rolls his hand, telling me to move it along.
“Well I didn’t have anything but the clothes on my back. No makeup, not even a toothbrush. I also left behind medications.”
My eyes flit between them, waiting to see if either of them pick up on what I’m trying to say. They both just stare, waiting for me to go on.
“I wasn’t able to take any of my medication for almost two weeks that I was gone.” I feel Hendrix shake beside me.
Or is it me shaking while he sits calmly?
The lights finally flick on in Mom’s eyes and her hand covers her mouth, and I watch the blood drain from her face. I can see her heart breaking and it cracks mine, straight down the middle.
“Will someone please tell me what’s going on?” Dad insists.
“I…I’m–” my throat is clogged with fear and I can’t get the words out.
A strong arm is wrapped around my shoulders and Hendrix says, “Dagen is pregnant.”
The room falls eerily silent. Not even the tick of the clock is heard. Everything freezes, all in fear of what’s to come next.
“And it’s mine, in case it wasn’t clear,” Hendrix adds.
Dad’s face goes from passive to processing and finally to rage.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” he roars, jumping up from his seat and charging towards us.
Hendrix pops up quickly, and stands in front of me.
“Vaughan! No!” Mom screeches and I peek from behind Hendrix’s legs and see her rip him back by his shirt. “Sit down!”
His chest heaves and he reminds me of a beast, readying itself to obliterate its enemy. Red eyes burn holes at Hendrix, and his teeth are clenched.
“Dad. Can you please sit down? Please?” Full sobs are pouring from me, and it has Hendrix dropping to his knees.
“It’s okay, little mouse. I got you.” He runs his tattooed fingers down my face, trying to soothe me.
I breathe in and out in exaggerated puff.
“Get away from my daughter!”
“Sir. Please. You’re upsetting Dagen and she doesn’t need that right now. She’s been sick with worry for a week–”
“A week? You’ve known for a week and you’re just now telling us?” Dad's rage filled eyes turn on me.
“Look at how you’re reacting. I barely had time to wrap my mind around it, much less have to deal with you. Don’t you think the one thing I wanted to do was run to my parents and have them hold me and tell me it would all be okay? But I couldn’t, Dad. I couldn’t because I knew that you would freak out instead of hugging me like I needed.” My chest heaves for air as my words become more and more unintelligible.
Hendrix turns my head back to focus on only him. “Do you want to go home, baby? We can leave right now. No one says we have to stay.”
He gently runs his hand down my face, wiping away the tears that can’t seem to stop. I inhale and my breath is stuttered. The crying that I have done in the last few weeks, starting with the bomb about Stephanie, is starting to wear on me. I’m so tired and weak and feel completely defeated.
“Dagen, sweetheart.” Mom’s voice is soft and cautious. “Have you taken a test or been to a doctor?”
Nodding, I tell her, “I took three tests. All of them were positive.” Dad’s nostrils flare. “I didn’t plan this, okay. Nowhere in the neat and organized map of my future did I have find out your birth mom is a rapist, crash your car and get pregnant from a man you’ve known for a month penciled in. I’m just as scared and shocked as you are. Believe me. But all I can do now is roll with it. Are you in or are you out? Those are the only two choices.”
Mom stands from her perch next to Dad and tiptoes over to me. The cushion dips as she sits and takes my hand.
“My sweet girl. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this all alone–”
“She’s not alone. I’ve been right here.” Hendrix’s voice is harsh.
“Thank you, Hendrix, for being there for her. Guess we look like big jerks, don’t we?” Hendrix shrugs and I smack his leg. “We’re here honey. We’re not going anywhere. We’ll be here every step of the way, offering whatever support you need.”
Fucking tears .
I throw myself at her and sob into her shoulder. She squeezes me tighter than I think she ever has before, crying along with me. Leaning back, she takes my face in her hands and plants a hundred kisses on it.
“My baby is having a baby,” she hiccups. “Can you please not let the baby call me granny? I’m not ready for that.”
I laugh through my tears with a smile. “Sure, Mom. Whatever you want is fine.”
She nods then pulls herself from me. Turning to Hendrix, her face drops.
“You’re a good man, Hendrix.” She stands and takes him with her, hugging his rigid body with the same strength she used on me.
Hendrix looks scared and awkward, not really knowing what to do with affection, and then something amazing happens. His big tattooed arms snake around her and hugs her back. It’s not the kind of hug he gives me, but one you’d give your mom. A mom he never had.
When hugs have been handed out and tears dried, we all look at Dad who still sits there just staring. Expressionless. Emotionless. Completely void.
I rub my chest, my heart breaking with his avoidance. His eyes scan over the three of us and stop on Hendrix.
“Are you planning to marry her?” he asks, gruffly.
Hendrix swallows and looks at me. “We haven’t discussed it yet, but I-I plan to. One day. Only if that’s what Dagen wants.”
“Dad, that’s not something I’m really worried about right now. Let's just focus on one thing at a time. The first thing being that I’m pregnant.”
“Dagen. I’m just looking out for you. You can’t do this on your own. You–”
“She’s not on her own. I’ll be there. I’m buying a house in Waco for me. For us. I’ll need to be in Mississippi sometimes for my businesses, but my plan is to be there for every doctor's appointment, every bump and kick and craving. My new job is to take care of Dagen and see to it that she has a safe and healthy pregnancy.”
Dad looks at Hendrix like he’s inspecting him. His eyes travel up and down, looking at Hendrix from head to toe. He tilts his head and narrows his eyes, evaluating every last inch of him. I scoot closer to him and grip tightly onto his flexed bicep.
As Dad moves closer, we both tense waiting for what comes next. And what does, shocks the hell out of both of us. Dad offers his hand out to Hendrix. He looks, then cautiously takes it. They shake and Dad pulls Hendrix in for a short hug.
Quickly, he releases him and grabs me, pulling me into a tight embrace. “I love you, baby bird,” he whispers into my ear, his voice choked with emotion.
“I love you too, Dad.”
I just know, everything is going to be okay. I can feel it.