Fifteen
FIFTEEN
SOLEIL
I type words into an email, but my brain doesn’t register what they say. All I can seem to think about for the last three days is King. He was tempting and teasing and the mystery, as much as it worries me, sends a rush of thrill through my veins.
I’ve always been a very cautious person. I never took chances, traveled the road that was laid out in front of me, and indulged in no more than alcohol when I was a kid. But seeing as the carefully paved road turned out to be filled with a gaping sinkhole, I was giving myself an excuse to indulge in something illicit.
Not that talking to someone I hardly know is all that scandalous, but for me it is. It’s the craziest thing I’ve done aside from being Kyle’s friend. Now that takes a brave soul.
I blink out of my haze to read through the email before hitting send. It’s late and I’ve had a long day between a busy schedule and caring for Dahlia who is a little under the weather. I think she has a little case of missing-the-grandparent-itis, and I can’t blame her.
Rolling out my neck and shoulders, I close out my email and I’m just about to shut down for the night when I have a change of mind. I type in the SecretFans web address and immediately I’m taken to the members page.
I look around as if someone may be watching, judging me for what I’m about to do, then lean over and click off the lamp that sits on my desk. Breathing deep, I click on my mailbox and see one message from very late last night.
K: Hi Sunny girl. Are you up?
It came in well past midnight and I was sleeping, dreaming of the man in question. It’s only ten o’clock, so the chances that he’s still awake is very likely.
SG: Now I am.
I chew on my cuticles, biting away at a hangnail, then sucking on it when it bleeds.
K: As am I. Wanna chat?
SG: That's why I’m here.
K: I mean, with our voices.
I pause, my fingers frozen on the keyboard. He can’t possibly mean a phone call. I don’t want to give him my phone number. That’s just inviting trouble to have a seat at my table.
SG: Sorry. I don’t think giving you my phone number is a very wise decision. We can stay here.
K: No need to exchange phone numbers. We can video call right through this. Just turn on your camera and accept my invitation to join. What do you say?
I push away from my desk, transfixed on the words as my heart thumps in my ears. He wants to video chat? I look down at my clothes and see my mismatched pajamas. Pink shorts with white polka dots are paired with a yellow tank top with little white flowers all over it. I have no makeup on, my hair is pulled up into a sort of bun, and if I looked in the mirror right now, I could almost guarantee I have chocolate ice cream smeared on my chin.
K: Sunny? Are you there?
SG: Yes. I’m here. I just…I don’t look presentable. Maybe another time. Like when I have time to do my hair and makeup.
K: Don’t be silly. I bet you look gorgeous. C’mon. I’ve got on a ratty old concert shirt and basketball shorts.
My hands shake, my legs tremble, and my nipples harden to stiff peaks thinking about seeing him. Talking to him. I hop up from my chair and run to the mirror hanging in the hallway. Licking my thumb, I swipe away the small bit of ice cream and decide my hair is best left as is. Lying on the back of my desk chair is a CFU sweatshirt, so I throw it over my tank top. In my desk drawer is a tube of chapstick that I quickly rub over my lips, and a tin of cinnamon Altoids that I pop into my mouth for no other reason than I’m nervous.
A few minutes have passed and I still have yet to respond to King.
SG: I guess that would be okay.
The screen on the laptop changes, and a blurred picture appears. At the last minute, I grab my EarPods and stick them in, worried I may wake Dahlia, then hit accept, watching the screen morph into a clear view of him.
“H-hi,” I greet him, my voice as shaky as my body.
“Wow. You’re even more beautiful than your pictures.” His deep voice is once again muffled as he wears his helmet, stealing away my ability to put a face to the voice.
I drop my eyes, embarrassed by the compliment. “So the helmet…”
“Stays on, Sunny girl. Sorry. I need to keep some secrets about me.”
“So what can you tell me? If you have to hold your cards close to your chest.” I pull my knees up on the chair and wrap my arms around my knees, resting my chin on them.
He leans back in his seat and I see his room is dark, a soft blue illumination outlining his figure. “Well, I ride bikes. I love good music. And I enjoy reading.”
My eyes light up hearing all of this. Aside from the bikes, music and books are my love languages. “Are you reading anything right now?”
He leans off to the side and reaches for something off camera. When he’s in full view again, he flips a book around to show me. Immediately my lip gets trapped between my teeth as I try to hold back the smile.
“ A Love Letter to Whiskey by Kandi Steiner? Not what I expected a guy like you to be reading.”
He tilts his head with a small laugh. “What kind of book did you expect? And what do you mean a guy like me? Explain yourself, Sunny girl.”
I hold my finger up in front of the camera and spin my chair around. Waking over to the small bookshelf in the corner, I grab the well-loved book then return. I slowly reveal my book and this time his laugh is louder and heartier.
“Great minds,” he tells me of our matching books. “Your turn. Tell me something about you, Sunny.”
“Um…” I grow nervous, wondering how much I should reveal to this stranger. “I like 80’s movies and I have a slight addiction to pistachio almond ice cream.”
“Mmm,” he growls and I clench my thighs with the low rumble. “That sounds delicious. Can I confess something?”
I do this weird shake-nod thing and mutter, “uh-huh.”
“I’ve thought about what you taste like. I bet you’re sweeter than ice cream. Are you?”
“I-I don’t, um…I don’t know.” I’m flustered and hot and my nipples harden as I fumble with my words.
The chair creaks as he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and steepeling his fingers. “Don’t be scared. It’s just a little fun, naughty talk. That’s what I’m here for.”
“I thought you wanted to get to know me?”
“I do. I want to know what you taste like. What fantasies live behind those eyes. And one day, I’d love to hear what my name sounds like falling from your tongue when you come.”
I swallow and exhale, my lungs too weak to hold the breath in. My body buzzes, recalling what it feels like to have someone touch it and make it feel good.
“Would you like that?” He asks and I push back from the screen.
“You know, maybe I should go. It’s late and I have work in the morning.” I reach for my earbud and King surges forward.
“No wait.” His voice sounds panicked and the pitch rises. “I’m sorry. I was inappropriate. I’m just so anxious to learn more about you. Please stay.”
I want to believe the sincerity in his words, but the black visor of his helmet hides all emotion. “Can I see your eyes?”
His head makes a big, slow shake from side to side. “No, Sunny girl. You can’t. What else can I give you to let you know that I’m being serious?”
I roll my lip between my teeth, thinking of how to answer him.
“Your real name?” I ask and he shakes his head.
“Your age?”
“Thirty,” he replies quickly. “What else?”
“Do you have a job?” He nods. “What do you do?” He shakes his head no .
I sigh, giving up. He’s a closed book that you’re only allowed to view the shiny cover.
“I have a job in the public sector. If someone were to find out about what I do in my free time, I could lose it, and I love my job.” Though I may not see it, I can hear it in his voice.
I pull my chair back in and return to how I was before. “Okay. Then can we talk about other things? I don’t think I’m ready for anything like that.”
“Deal. So since you love the 80’s so much, what is your favorite movie?”
I relax, and an easy smile crosses my face. “That’s easy. Sixteen Candles.”
“Good one. I had a crush on Molly Ringwald as a kid.”
Our conversation flows easily and before I know it, an hour has passed and we’re still laughing. I let out a yawn and rub my eyes.
“It’s getting late. I should let you go. Thanks for staying up with me, Sunny.” He rests his elbow on his thigh and cradles his chin in his hand.
“Thank you for inviting me. I had fun talking with you.”
I see his chest rise and fall. “Can we talk again sometime? Soon, hopefully.”
My smile is hard to contain and I nod. “I’d like that. Good night, King.”
“Good night, my Sunny girl.” We both hesitate to end the call and I finally make the first move, exiting out and watching him fade out of sight.
The screen is black and ridiculous as it seems, I already miss him.