Thirty-Five
THIRTY-FIVE
SOLEIL
“Mommy, can we please get these? I know Malik will love them.” Dahlia holds up a box of super sugary cookies topped with thick icing and sprinkles.
Cookies I never let her buy because the last thing I need is a five year old bouncing off the walls for hours on end.
“Malik likes them? Really? And how do you know this?” We stand in the middle of the bakery, looking at the desserts for dinner tonight, but those cookies were not what I had in mind.
“Because Heather’s mom brought them for her birthday and Malik had one. When he ate it he went, mmmm .” Dahlia closes her eyes and hums with a smile, mimicking his actions.
The image of him doing that is very vivid because I’ve seen him do it many times. He wasn’t enjoying cookies…per say.
I take the container from her hands and place it into our basket. Dahlia pumps her fist and holds on to the edge of the cart as we continue on.
“Hi Dahlia.” A small voice from behind us grabs our attention.
Looking over my shoulder I see a boy holding the hand of a man I thought had finally realized I have no desire to pursue anything with him.Not even a friendship.
“Hey Mason.” Dahlia’s voice doesn’t hide even one ounce of her disappointment.
I guess she feels the same way about him as I do his dad.
“Hello Wesley.” I greet him cordially but don’t move from the spot where we stand.
“What a surprise seeing you here? How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.” Wesley holds a handbasket in one hand and Mason’s hand in the other. His smile irks me and I shiver when chills roll down my spine.
“Good. Busy. Work is a little crazy with the holidays and people trying to fit in their year end items.”
I keep it short and don’t bother to ask how he is in return. I have no time for pleasantries today. Malik is joining us for dinner before we leave to see my parents for Thanksgiving. I had planned to invite him to join us, but I guess Dagen’s parents had already invited all of the brothers to their ranch. He told me we should join them, but I really want to spend some time with my mom and dad.
I’m a little bummed out that I won’t see him for a week, but we each still need our solo time with friends and family. I could also use a little bit of time to figure out my true feelings for Malik. It feels a lot like love, but for some reason I feel guilt over it. I could really use some time to sort through it all.
“Looks like you’re planning a big dinner.” Wesley looks at my cart that is full of steaks and vegetables, bread, drinks and now little circles of diabetes.
“Malik is coming over,” Dahlia shouts with a smile, then immediately slaps her hand over her mouth, remembering that we asked her to not tell people about her mom dating her teacher.
Wesley’s face goes from friendly and happy to irritated with a clenched jaw.
“Who’s Malik?” Mason asks Dahlia, but she doesn’t get a chance to answer.
“That’s Mr. Dare’s name. Ms. Soleil is his girlfriend. Isn’t that weird?” He looks to my daughter who is now hiding behind me. “Your mom dating your teacher? I don’t think I could ever do that to my child.”
I kick politeness out of the store and stomp my way to stand right in front of him. With my finger in his chest and fury in my voice, I finally tell him the things I’ve wanted to say for weeks.
“Do not ever talk to my daughter like that. You keep your goddamn mouth shut and stuff your opinions up your ass. My relationship is no concern of yours. I am no concern of yours. Remember that because I won’t be having this, or any other, conversation with you again.”
I can feel the way my chest heaves as I spit words at him like hot pokers. Straightening my shoulders, I take a step back then turn to where Dahlia stands still gripped tight to the shopping cart. I soften my face, put on a smile, and act like I don’t want to stomp that weasel in the nuts.
“Are you ready, my little dove? Malik will be over soon and we want to make sure everything is perfect for him.” I throw Wesley a look over my shoulder and see him still fuming in the spot I left him.
With a final glare thrown his way, I leave him and the memory of his smug face behind.
I stand at the stove in my parent’s house, watching the filling for my pecan pie come to a boil, waiting for the perfect time to add the bourbon. The wood spoon makes swirls in the thickening liquid and the smell wafts through the kitchen.
“So you really like this new man?”Mom asks from beside me where she kneads dough for the rolls.
With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, we’re doing our usual night before prep. I’m pie and cranberry sauce duty, while mom makes the rolls and preps the vegetables. Dahlia and George are busy making sure the couch cushions are warmed up for us when we finally sit down.
“I do. It’s just…” I turn off the heat and take the pot off the burner, setting it down to cool. “I’m nervous.”
“What are you nervous about?”Mom pushes and pulls the dough, working it to perfection.
“What isn’t there to be nervous about? Is it too soon to be dating someone? Is this good for Dahlia? What will happen if it ends? Am I really falling for him, or is this the loneliness reaching out for anyone to grab onto? I can keep going because the list is endless.”
Mom’s hands stop and she finally turns to look at me. “Darling, you are overthinking all of it.”
“Am I, though?”
“Yes. I can tell you’re thinking of all the ways that it will end badly instead of how wonderful it can become.”
I pick up the egg that sits on the counter and let it rock back and forth in my hand. “Can you blame me? Look how my first marriage ended. You can’t fault me for being a little cautious and skeptical.”
“You really think that this guy is going to take up with your cousin then run out into the street and get hit by a car and die, too?” I give her an incredulous look because now she’s just being a smart ass. “Not every man is a cheater, and not every man is weak. There are plenty of good men who are looking for a good woman to love and make a life with. Is he a good man?”
“Very,” I answer, the honest truth not even taking me a second to think about.
“Okay then. Why not just let it happen? You don’t have to know where it’s going to want to take the journey. Sometimes a ride is simply for the enjoyment and not always necessarily towards a destination. You’re putting too much pressure and too many expectations on the relationship, and that’s a method for failure.”
Tears well in my eyes and my eyelashes bat furiously to keep them at bay. “I just don’t want to be broken again. My heart can’t take it. And I don’t think my daughter’s can either.”
Mom wipes her hands on her apron and pulls me into her arms. “Oh sweetheart. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. No matter what happens, good or bad, you’ll be prepared. Dahlia is a reflection of the strong women around her. Between you and Kyle, she’ll have a loving heart and a sassy mouth. She’ll be just fine no matter what.”
I wipe away the one tear that manages to escape.My mother is the strongest, most fearless woman I know. She battled coming to America as a kid who didn’t know the English, to graduating with a masters in sociology. Add to that raising a daughter after losing her husband far too soon, and learning to love again, Mom is the original badass. I squeeze her, so grateful for a mother like her, and breathe her in.
Every chance I get, I breathe in Mom and George and Dahlia because I never want to forget the feeling of comfort.
“What will people say? I’m still such a topic of discussion for everyone.”
She pulls back in looks me in the eye, and with all seriousness says, “Fuck them. It’s not their life.”
“Mom.” I laugh, quite shocked to be honest.
I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve heard her curse. With her small accent that still lingers, the word sounds even more hilarious coming from her mouth.
“I think Kyle has rubbed off on me. I don’t know why I ever let you hang out with that girl. She’s trouble.”
“I say that all the time.”
We continue to hug and laugh for a minute more, then return to our duties. I tell her more about Malik until we’re interrupted by the doorbell. Mom looks at me confused and I mirror her emotion.
“Maybe it’s Kyle. She said she was coming late tonight. It’s possible she came early to say hi before heading to her parent’s house.”
I wipe my hands and step around the wall and into the den. I stop frozen in my tracks when I see George walk-in with a man who holds a smiling Dahlia in his arms.
“Malik?” I look at him, head to toe, still not believing he’s standing in front of me. “What are you doing here?”
“He missed us, Mommy.” Dahlia has her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.
“It’s true,” Malik agrees and steps closer to me until we’re toe to toe. “I missed my girls and just couldn’t bear to spend four more days without them.”
“But–” He tugs on my waist and pulls me to him, locking his lips with mine and taking away the words that sit on the tip of my tongue.
I forget my parents and Dahlia watching us because when I’m with Malik, every worry, every person, just fades away. When he releases me from his spell, my eyes slowly flutter openand meet his stormy gray ones.
“Good surprise?” He asks.
“The best surprise.” I kiss him once more and all of my doubts vanish. “Let me introduce you to my parents now that you’ve accosted me in front of them.”
He winks at me and I grab his hand. The look on my mom’s face tells me she knows what’s in my heart.
I’m a goner for Malik Dare. There’s no stopping it and there’s no turning back now.