Thirty-Eight
THIRTY-EIGHT
MALIK
The night Soleil found out that I’d been following and watching her –not to the full extent, mind you– I laid in her bed with dread swirling in my belly. I guess I was waiting for the moment she walked back in to tell me to leave. My heart was already cracking when her sad eyes met mine.
My world was dizzy as I waited for her to end it. A lump the size of a bus clogged my throat and I was holding back with a weak wall.
“I need you to stop following us.” She told me.
I was caught off-guard because that was not what I had been expecting. “Okay.”
“No watching me sleep or following us to the park. It all has to stop.” I nodded, swallowing my nerves and the false promise I made to her. “I think I understand why you did it, but you can’t anymore. Please promise me.”
“Of course, baby. Anything you want. I’ll stop. Just please don’t leave me.” I held my arms out and when she crawled inside of them, my lungs filled with hope and relief.
And I did stop following her. Not once in the two weeks since that night have I hid behind a row of cars at the park while she and Dahlia played. I’ve fought the urge to walk down the aisles, looking around corners or over displays to see that no one crept around her. But I’m not totally innocent.
I still watch her sleep. I can’t help but stare at her through her darkened window on the nights we spend apart. I may have slipped into her computer to access her camera to monitor her when she’s home. And unbeknownst to her, I shared her tracking location with my phone so I can see where she is at all times.
I do take a small victory in that I no longer walk about her house while she sleeps. But I am careful as I wander around, and always delete the surveillance footage from those visits. I don’t need her seeing the extent of my obsession nor the broken vow.
The doorbell rings and as many times as I’ve told her that’s not necessary and even gave her a key, Soleil still waits for me to open the door and welcome her in.
I swing the door open and find both of my girls with huge smiles and their overnight bags in tow.
“Malik!” Dahlia rushes at me, like she always does, and kisses me on the cheek.
I’d give up every dime I have just to come home to these two every day, for the rest of my life. Nothing could be better.
“Hi sweetheart. I feel like I haven’t seen you in a million years,” I joke.
She rolls her eyes and walks in, kicking off her shoes. “You’re silly, Malik. I just saw you at school.”
Today was our last day before Christmas break, and it was a day of chaos with the class party. The kids all left on a sugar high and a pile of books and candy and an extra treat from Mr. Dare.
I take the bag from Soleil’s shoulder and tug her to me. My lips find hers like they’re attracted by magnets, and she circles her arms around my neck.
“Hi,” she purrs when we separate.
“Hi, doll face.” I take her hand and guide her to the kitchen where I have a glass of wine waiting.
“How did you know I needed this?” She grabs the stem and takes a quick sip.
“Because I was also at the party and my nerves are barely hanging on. You’re a rookie. I’m sure yours are frayed and short circuiting.” She nods and takes one more swig.
“What’s that?” Dahlia asks, pointing to a foil covered dish that sits on the back counter.
I wink and reach for it. Pulling back the foil, steam billows out.
“Brownies. I memorized mom’s recipe and decided to surprise you with my superior cooking skills.” They both give me a skeptical look, knowing my cooking talents are abysmal, at best. “Just try them.”
I use a small spatula to cut two away from the rest, and place them both on a plate. They each take one, blowing on the warm and gooey chocolate squares, and give each other a look.
“Nice knowing you, sister,” Soleil tells Dahlia, and they tap the brownies together before taking a cautious bite.
They chew once, twice, and the third one, they smile. “See. Not horrible and you’re still alive.”
“They’re pretty good, Malik. Almost as good as Mommy’s,” Dahlia tells me.
“Sweetheart,” I look at Dahlia but pull Soleil into my arms, resting my head on her shoulder as she chews. “Nothing and no one is as good as your mommy.”
I lay a big sloppy kiss on her cheek, making Dahlia laugh along with a few spittles of brownie.
“So I know Christmas is still five days away but I was hoping I could give Dahlia her gift now.” Soleil pops the last bite into her mouth and eyes me while Dahlia bounces on her toes nodding emphatically.
“I think she can wait a few more days, Malik.”
“But Mommy, I can’t. Pleeease?” Dahlia begs, her hands pressed together and chocolate smeared on the corners of her mouth.
“Yeah, please Mommy?” I kneel right next to Dahlia, and give Soleil the same look.
If it’s a joint attack she won’t be able to say no. From the sigh that leaves her mouth and the slightly unamused look, I’d say we got her.
“Fine. Just remember that you won’t have anything to open on Christmas, now.”
“Oh, she’ll have tons to open on Christmas.” I wink and take both of them by the hand.
“What? Malik. One gift. You agreed,” she tries to explain.
“I agreed to no such thing. C’mon. I can’t wait for you both to see this.”
I pull them up the stairs, practically dragging them from my excitement. We walk down the hall to the bedroom Dahlia usually sleeps in when they stay over. The door is closed and a big red bow sits on it. With my back to the door and the knob gripped tightly in my hand, I smile and face the girls.
“Ready?” Dahlia’s teeth chatter, she’s so excited, but Soleil looks suspicious. “One…two…three!”
I throw open the door and step aside. A loud gasp followed by “wow” and a squeal is all that can be heard.
Dahlia flies past me and screeches, bouncing from one thing to the next.
“Malik. You–” I kiss Soleil, silencing what I know is a protest.
“I already know what you’re going to say and it will fall on moot ears. You two are here so often and I want Dahlia to have a space that she can call her own.”
Soleil’s eyes wander from corner to corner, taking in all of the details.
I’ve been planning this surprise for the past month, and while I was busy with school and sleeping over at Soleil’s house, decorators have been here making this room perfectly magical for Dahlia.
The walls are painted a soft, pale pink –a color I never thought I’d see in my house– but it’s very Dahlia. A cream colored tufted bed sits in the middle, topped with a fluffy white comforter. Pink sheets and a massive pile of pillows sit on top, along with duplicates of her favorite stuffies.
There’s a white armoire and matching nightstands. Gold lamps that look like climbing roses sit on either side of the bed, and a white vanity is flanked by a round mirror with gold roses to match the lamps. A white bookshelf sits on the opposite side full of Dahlia’s favorite books and a fluffy, oversized floor pillow for her to sit and read.
The designer said it is a little girl’s dream, and she’d give me every penny back if Dahlia didn’t like it. By the way her eyes light up with each new find, I’d say she loves it. She jumps on the bed and falls back into the pillows, arms stretched as wide as her smile.
“Do you like it?” I ask her, still holding Soleil in the crook of my arm.
She pops up, rests on her elbows, and looks at me with the most serious expression. “Malik. Is that a real question? Of course I love it. This is the best room ever. Well, except for my room at home because Mommy made it special, but this one is pretty fantastic.”
Her elbows give way and she falls flat, again.
“This is too much, Malik.” Soleil looks up at me with tears in her eyes. “Thank you. You are really amazing for doing this. It’s something she’ll never forget.”
I run the back of my hand down her cheek, loving the way her smooth skin feels under my touch. “I’ll do anything for the two of you. All I want is to make you both smile. If I can do that, then everything else is just a bonus.”
We fall into our little bubble where nothing can harm us. Only we exist. The world could crumble down around us and we wouldn’t know or care. We ground each other, but we’re also the reason we float above the clouds. It’s this realm between heaven and earth, and until I met Soleil, I never knew it existed.
I stumble, practically knocking Soleil over, when a little body slams into me.
“Thank you thank you thank you, Malik. I love it so much. I can’t wait to sleep in it.” I bend to scoop her up, not letting go of Soleil because I just can’t stand to not have my hands on her. “But not now. We have to eat brownies and watch–”
“Not Rapunzel,” I beg.
“I can’t stomach that movie one more time,” Soleil adds.
“Brave!” Dahlia shouts, and we both sigh, relieved to finally be moving on. “And then Rapunzel.”
“What silly people we are to think we’d be free of Flynn and Rapunzel.” Soleil presses her forehead to my chest and groans.
“Alright. Let’s get this vacation kicked off.” With both of them still glued to me, I walk us out of the room and downstairs.
Life is finally falling into place and I want to hold onto it with both hands and never let it go.