22. Maxwell
Maxwell
“And that is why I am going to die alone,” Mav retorts.
“Shut the fuck up. This is serious,” I say, my tone stern. Don’t get me wrong, I love my best friend, but sometimes having a serious conversation is harder than pulling teeth.
“Okay, okay.” He holds a hand up in surrender before puffing on his joint. “Why are you mad at him?”
“I told him something in private that I didn’t want people to know,” I explain. “I trusted him.”
Mav nods his heading, thinking for a moment before speaking. “Okay. Did you tell him not to tell anyone?”
“Well, no, but it seemed implied.”
“You have to communicate, man. You can’t walk around assuming everyone knows what you want,” Mav explains. “You trusted him. Do you remember when he trusted you?”
“Yeah,” I mutter.
“And what did you do?” Mav encourages, waving a hand for me to answer.
“I broke it.”
“Ding, ding, ding. Did he forgive you?”
“Yeah,” I say, my shoulders slumping.
“Then you can’t stay mad at him. If someone didn’t deserve forgiveness, I’d say it’s you, but he sees you and hears you. Why don’t you see and hear him too?”
I look at my friend, blinking over and over. Dumbfounded, really.
“What?” He asks.
“When did you become so wise?”
“I’m not always an idiot.”
My phone rings and I pull it from my pocket, seeing Clayton’s name across my screen. “Hey,” I answer.
“Hey, where are you?”
“I’m with Mav,” I tell him.
“You snuck out this morning.” His voice is still raspy and laced with sleep. He is also right. I did sneak out. Just as the sun was rising, I slipped out of the room, carefully and quietly, and found Mav at our spot.
“Yeah, I did. I’m sorry about that. I’m coming back to you right now.”
“Are you mad at me?”
I think of what Mav just said to me. “No. I hear you and I see you.”
“What?”
“Nothing. I’ll be back in ten.”
“See you then.”
I wave goodbye to Mav. Walking out of the woods, instead of going to the dorms I stop at Becky’s.
Ordering a gluten-free cinnamon roll and a black coffee with two pumps of caramel.
As I'm waiting, Amberlyn walks into the shop. She looks at me and I look at her, but she quickly turns her head. Anger rises inside of me, but I think of Clayton and don’t do anything about it.
They call out my name and I grab the order before heading toward my dorm.
“Hey,” I say in greeting as I walk in to my room.
“You got me breakfast?” He smiles, but it almost seems skeptical as if I’m playing a prank.
“Coffee and a gluten-free cinnamon roll.”
“Oh,” he rolls his eyes, tilting his neck to the side with a mmm sound. “You’re the best.” Clayton grabs the goods from me and pauses, looking right at my face. “You’re sure you’re not mad?”
“No. Mav and I talked,” I say, telling him exactly what my friend said.
“He’s smart. Didn’t think he had it in him,” Clayton jokes. I laugh.
“Neither did I, honestly.”
Clayton takes a sip of his coffee and a bite of his pastry before setting both down on the desk.
He comes over to me, grabbing my arms and putting them around his neck, hands sitting on my waist. We look into each other's eyes, silence taking over, but it’s not uncomfortable like it was last night.
It’s peaceful and it feels nice to stand here with him. Seeing him and him seeing me.
Leaning in, I kiss him. Slow at first, until he leans in closer and deepens the kiss. My fingers grip at the hair at the base of his neck. My hips push into his, tongue sliding into his mouth.
All I need is this. Us. Having love.
I know there’s still anger inside of me. I think it will always be there, simmering and begging to be free. Always has since I was a kid, but when I’m with Clayton it's not so loud.
“Do you trust me?” Clayton breaks the kiss, whispering the question.
For a moment, I thought he had broken that trust, but in hindsight, he told his parents because he was concerned. It came from a good place. I realize that now, with the help of Mav, but it makes the answer easy.
“Yes.”
“Good,” he smirks, hands reaching down to the waistline of my sweatpants and pushing them down. Then my boxers and my shirt until I’m standing here in nothing. Yet he is still fully clothed.
“This isn’t very fair,” I jest.
“Oh, my bad,” he mocks before undressing himself. I watch every move he makes. The way his abs and arms flex. The way his muscles in his thighs tighten when he moves his leg up to pull out of his pants.
Everything about him is magical.
Clayton pushes me to the bed, climbing up behind me and settling between my legs.
My breath turns heavy, chest rising and falling faster with each passing moment.
He spits in his hand before taking my cock in it and stroking up and down, squeezing tighter at the head.
Running his thumb around the tip, I squirm a little in my spot, and pant breathlessly.
Clayton bends down, flicking his tongue out at the tip of my cock and using his thumb to spread his saliva.
His tongue goes from the top, down to the bottom, trailing over the vein beneath.
My hand runs through his hair and when he grips my balls, suddenly taking me deep into his mouth, I tighten my hold, tugging on his hair.
“Mm, fuck, pretty boy. That feels so good,” I murmur, my head leaning back.
With his free hand, he trails a finger down lower and lower until it’s right by my ass. My body tenses up.
“Relax, baby,” Clayton coos.
I take a deep breath, willing my body to relax. I want this. I want it so bad. Trying this with him makes me excited. My cock twitches at the thought of it. So, why am I terrified every time he gets close?
Clayton pushes my legs further apart, spreading me, and I let him. I let him do everything he wants because I do trust him. If I want him to stop, he will, and I know that. Know it with everything in me.
“I’m going to keep going, but you tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”
“Okay,” I say.
He spits, his saliva dripping down to my ass. Using his finger, he spreads the wetness and his finger meets my asshole. Pressure is applied and my body goes tense again. Clayton moves to lay flat on his stomach, feet hanging off the end of the bed.
“Relax your body,” he encourages, pressing his lips against my thigh and leaving sloppy, open mouthed kisses. My body goes loose, my legs falling all the way open.
His finger pushes at my entrance, easing in and in and in until his entire index finger is inside of me.
I let out a heavy moan-like breath. Clayton starts to move his finger in and out of me, my body still tense, but moans and groans slipping out of my lips. It feels wrong and intrusive but yet it feels so fucking good.
Once he finds a steady rhythm, he uses his free hand, guiding my cock to his mouth and I watch the entire time. Each move he makes I’m mesmerized by. The utter confidence that he has. He always looks so different in bed.
I’ve seen so many angles of him.
Vulnerable when sleeping. Focused when studying. Closed in and shy when we are in public. But here? Between my legs with his mouth moving up and down on my cock? Nothing but certainty and courage.
He looks up at me through those thick lashes and between him finger-fucking my ass, adding another finger and another to prep me for more, and sucking me with hollowed cheeks, I’m close to coming.
“I’m gonna-” My mouth hangs open, breaths coming faster and faster until he stops. He pulls his finger out of me, my cock from his mouth. The bomb that was about to explode inside of me slips away.
“Why did you stop?” I gasp, mouth hanging open in disbelief.
He comes up to my face, placing a kiss along my cheek and whispering into my ear. “You’re going to come with your ass around my cock, baby.” More kisses along my jaw. “How do you want it? You want me on top of you like this, or do you want to turn over?”
I need to see him. The face he makes when he enters me? When I finally let it happen… I need to see that.
“Just like this, please,” I beg.
“Just like this, baby,” he copycats.
Getting back up to his knees, he nestles closer to me. Leaning over to the bedside table, he grabs a condom and bottle of lube. We’ve gone through so many bottles. I suspect we’re keeping this damn company in business.
Clayton hands me the condom. “Put it on me.”
The way he demands me when we’re in the bedroom is enough to make me cum, I swear to god.
Grabbing the foil wrapper from him, I rip it open, not wasting a second more and sliding the latex over his cock, rubbing his shaft along the way down. He sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth, breathing through his nose.
“Palm,” he growls. I pause the stroking, opening my palm for him and he squirts lube into my hand.
Wrapping my hand back around his shaft, I wet his cock all over.
Clayton pushes my hand away, taking over and leaning down, lining up his cock with my puckered opening.
I suck in a sharp breath, holding it and waiting for what’s going to come.
He pushes his hips forward, holding his cock to enter me. Pushing in, it stretches me and pain runs through my bottom. I wince. Clayton pauses, letting me adjust, watching my facial expression.
I nod, letting him know it’s okay to keep going. The pain pausing for a moment before he pushes in more.
“Ah,” I moan.
“Are you okay?”
“Mm, adjusting,” I whisper. “Just go.”
Clayton slides in another inch, stretching me wider and wider with each push.
“Just go for it.”
“No, I can’t jus-” I stop him from talking, grip onto his hips and pull him. “Fuck, Max.”
My body tenses, the ache spreading beyond measure at the forced intrusion, but we stay like that for a moment. Clayton just sitting inside of me, both breathing heavily.
My fingers dig into his hips. Nails cutting into his skin, I’m sure.
“Move,” I nod, letting him know it’s fine. “I’m okay.”
He pulls his hips back, pushing forward again. Back and forward, slowly. Both of us groan.
“Fuck, you’re squeezing my cock so tight, Max. I don’t know how long I’m going to last,” Clayton rasps. Voice weak and shaky, but yet it somehow sounds so fucking hot.
I grab my cock, stroking in unison to the buck of his hips. He leans down over me, movement starting to get harder and faster, lips finding mine and we swallow each other's noises. A tingle runs down my back, my balls tightening.
Clayton pulls his mouth from mine, whispering into my ear again. “Fuck, Max, you better come because I’m so close.”
I pull his hand to my cock, letting him take over. He twists and strokes just right, only a few more times before I spill into his hand and over my stomach, making a mess of the both of us.
Clayton gives me three sharp thrusts and the noise that comes from my mouth is like nothing I’ve ever heard before. The sensation of him inside of me as I’m coming is life-altering. My eyes roll into the back of my head and when I close them instead, I see stars in the blackness.
Afraid I might pass out, I will open my eyes and when I do, it’s just in time to watch Clayton’s mouth drop open into an O, my name falling off of his lips.
He pushes into me one last time, staying deep inside of me and I can feel every twitch of his cock inside of me.
Clayton stays just like that for a moment, hovering over me, trying to catch his breath.
Once he’s back to planet Earth, he pulls out of me and it makes me whimper.
I feel so empty.
He gets off the bed and saunters over to the bathroom.
I hear the sound of water running, a cabinet opening and closing.
He emerges with a towel in his hand. I lay there as he wipes me up.
Forgetting our clothes, tossing the towel to the floor with a thump, he lays down beside me, and drapes an arm over my chest, nestling his head into my shoulder.
“How was that?” He asks.
“It was amazing. Thank you.” I place a kiss on his forehead before closing my eyes.
I think that I could get used to this. A life with him where I share all of my firsts.
He’s the first to fuck me.
He’ll be my first to give a blowjob to.
My first dinner date.
My first lunch date.
My first I had to meet the parents.
But most of all, my first love.