Chapter 8
8
L eo was nervous. I knew all the signs, and I’d expected them. But he was still here in the library. He’d come, and from the determined set of his jaw, he was going to see this through. I’d been mostly teasing when I called him “little lion,” but it was true. Leo never failed to amaze me with how hard he tried. I wished he could see himself the way I saw him.
“They’re gonna be here soon.” His leg bounced next to mine, and I lowered my hand, placing it on his thigh. He stilled instantly.
“You’ve got this,” I reassured him. “You’ve never backed out of a dare yet.”
He shot me a smile that warmed me all over, grateful, like I’d said or done something amazing, when all I’d done was remind him he was capable of doing this. He gave me way too much credit and himself way too little.
I removed my hand from his thigh and busied myself with setting up my laptop. I was mostly here as emotional support, but there was the added bonus that Daisy was going to be there. Daisy, my teammate Pete’s younger sister. Daisy, who was pretty and reciprocating my flirting efforts.
Daisy, who I hadn’t thought about once since this whole thing had been arranged…
Sighing, I rubbed my hand over my face.
“Are you okay?”
The arrival of Charlie and the girls saved me from coming up with an answer to Leo’s question. As they approached, Leo stiffened next to me, and I pressed my leg against his. He exhaled shakily and then raised his head.
“H-hi.”
Charlie shot him an easy smile, then nodded at me. “Alright? Anyone want coffee? I’m going to the machine.” He glanced at Sophie. “Soph? Wanna help me carry them?”
She smiled at him and nodded. After taking coffee orders, the two of them disappeared, and Daisy and Millie were left standing there, exchanging glances.
Right. The reason we were supposedly meeting in the library today was so Leo could help Millie set up a gallery for her photos, and here I was, taking up the only seat next to his.
I climbed to my feet, pulling out my chair. “Millie, why don’t you sit here? Daisy, that means you get the pleasure of my company.”
Daisy smiled at me as I pushed my stuff across the table and then took a seat opposite Leo. She drew me into a light-hearted conversation about football, and I relaxed as we debated the merits of the current Arsenal team versus Glevum FC in their upcoming match.
I kept finding my gaze sliding to Leo, though. Just to check if he was okay.
Charlie and Sophie returned, settling into the remaining chairs and handing out coffees to everyone. Daisy immediately began talking to Sophie, and I was free to check on my friend again.
Leo’s brows were pulled together in concentration, his head bent close to Millie’s as they both focused on her screen. “…So…you see here? Now we’ve got the empty gallery set up, all you need to do is drag and drop the photos and save here… Yeah, that’s it. The website will automatically update.”
“Finn? Finnegan!”
I blinked. “My name isn’t Finnegan. Just Finn. It’s not short for anything.”
“Okay.” Charlie’s lips curved upwards in amusement. “Either way, I called your name five times before you noticed. Something interesting going on over there?” He gave a pointed glance towards Leo.
I shook my head insistently. “No. Just…thinking.”
“Course you were. Anyway, all I wanted to say was, do you want to come…” He trailed off, his gaze flying to something behind me. I twisted in my seat to find Sophie’s older brother, Nate, standing there, a coffee cup in one hand and the other clasping the strap of his bag.
And Charlie had the nerve to accuse me of being distracted.
Hang on. This was Sophie’s brother, and Charlie and Sophie were interested in each other. I sat up in my seat, giving them my full attention, looking from Sophie to Charlie and then to Nate. Sophie was rolling her eyes at her brother, who was watching Charlie with an unreadable expression on his face. Charlie stared right back at him. He looked…flushed. I guess it was understandable. I’d never been subjected to the whole overprotective big brother routine and sadly hadn’t been able to subject Ed to it, either, but I was sure it would be just as awkward as it looked right now.
“What are you doing here?” Sophie said after the silence stretched uncomfortably. I glanced back over at Leo, who hadn’t even noticed the exchange, still engrossed with Millie’s computer, and something inside me twisted. I tore my gaze away.
“It’s the library. I’m using it for its intended purpose,” Nate replied, still watching Charlie.
“Nate.” Her tone was pleading, and it seemed to snap her brother out of it.
“Alright. I was just passing. I’ll leave you to it.” He stepped forwards, squeezing Sophie’s shoulder. “See you later, okay?”
She relaxed, giving him a smile. “Yeah.”
When he was gone, she sighed. “Older brothers. Right?”
“Right,” Daisy agreed. “It’s sweet that they want to look out for you, but they don’t always seem to understand that we’re adults now and we can be trusted to know our own minds.”
“I’m an older brother, and my younger brother definitely can’t be trusted to know his own mind,” I joked. “Just kidding. He’s alright.”
“Leo? Do you have any siblings?”
My head jerked around, noticing Millie giving Leo a soft smile. She was leaning into him, her lashes lowered…yeah, she was definitely interested in my friend.
“Um. Y-yeah. I mean, no. I’m an only child.” He gave her a tentative smile, and I found my mouth opening.
“Not true. You’re an honorary Carsley at this point. My family has pretty much adopted you.”
His gaze slid to mine, and his smile widened, reaching his eyes. I warmed all over. “That’s true,” he said.
“I’m an only child, too,” Millie confided, drawing Leo’s attention again. “Something else we have in common. Did you ever want siblings when you were growing up?”
“Charlie! What were you going to ask me earlier, before Sophie’s brother showed up?” My voice came out way too loud, and judging by the amusement in Charlie’s expression, he thought so, too.
“Oh, yeah! I was gonna say, do you want to come out on Saturday night? I was talking to JJ about Sanctuary because I’ve never been, and he said he’d get me and a few friends on the guest list if we wanted. What do you say? All of us?” His hand swept out, encompassing our table.
Daisy and Millie were instantly nodding, grinning at each other and Charlie. Leo’s gaze caught mine.
I dare you , I mouthed, and he eyed me for a moment longer before he gave a tiny nod.
Lion , I mouthed again, and he bit back a smile.
“Okay,” he said to Charlie.
“I’ll be there.” Obviously. Leo wouldn’t go without me. Or would he? It seemed as if he was beginning to feel more comfortable around the others. Which was what I wanted. I didn’t want him to need me as his security blanket or anything. Fuck knows he was more than capable. He just needed to see it for himself.
Sophie bit down on her lip. “I’d love to, but it’s my cousin’s birthday, and we’re travelling to Swindon for the weekend. I’m definitely up for it another time, though. It sounds great.”
“Yeah. We can sort something else out, don’t worry,” Charlie assured her, and based on the looks they were giving each other, I was pretty sure he meant that he’d sort out something a lot more private with her without the rest of us around.
Leo’s bright laugh interrupted my thoughts, and it was so unexpected I stared at him, open-mouthed, before I got myself back under control. Millie was saying something to him, and the two of them looked so cosy…
It was good.
This was what I wanted.
Right?
“You did so good today. I’m really proud of you.” I lay back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.
The bed dipped, and Leo’s face appeared in my field of vision, his brows pulled together as he stared down at me. “What’s that voice for?”
“What voice?”
“Finn. Something’s wrong, and I want to know what it is. Did I do something wrong? Did something happen when I was helping Millie with her website?”
Fuck. How could I explain to him what I couldn’t even explain to myself?
Closing my eyes in the hope it would help me get the words out, I sighed. “It’s not that. I am proud of you. I want you to know that. It’s just that when Charlie invited everyone to the club and you said yes, it made me realise you didn’t need me anymore.”
“I—”
Fuck. My eyes flew open, and I reached up, covering his mouth. “Wait, no, let me finish. I know how fucked up that sounds. I don’t want you to have to need me, but I guess…I guess I like being needed or something. But I don’t want you to have to need me. Fuck. I just said that, didn’t I?”
“Finn.” His lips curved into a smile beneath my fingers. When I removed them, he raised his brows. “Hug?”
I nodded, stretching out my hand, and he collapsed onto his side next to me, slinging his arm across my stomach.
“I…I like being around you. I liked you being there today. It’s not that I need you, or you’re my security blanket, or I’m using you to make myself feel more confident. It’s that I know I have you in my corner. Supporting me. It gives me the strength to push myself out of my comfort zone. Okay, maybe I do need you.” He bit down on his lip, staring at me, before he moved closer, curling his body into mine.
His voice was muffled by the pillow when he spoke again. “I need you to be my friend and to push me. I need you to team up with me on our campaigns so we can get all the loot and XP. I need…”
He shot upright. “I need us to be a team. Or to keep being a team. Because we are a team, aren’t we? Equals?”
I looked at him, and then I reached up, pulling him back down to me. “We’re the best team. Hammerhead and his Viking. Who can stop us? No one on earth can possibly beat a shark and a Viking.”
He laughed against my throat as I wrapped my arms around him, shifting so his torso was almost fully on top of me with his legs to the side, resting on the bed. I ran my hand down his back, and his fingers found their way into my hair, tugging lightly. I shivered.
His fingers immediately halted their movements. “Want me to stop?”
“No. It’s nice.” Sliding my hand into his hair, I twisted the strands between my fingers and pulled gently. “See?”
“Mmm.” His head rose, his eyes meeting mine. “Is it weird for us to be doing this?”
I shrugged, jostling him. “Sorry. Uh, maybe it’s weird, maybe it isn’t, but I don’t really care. Do you?”
“No. Just making sure.” He laid his head back down again, his nose pressing into the side of my throat. “Finn?”
“Yeah?”
“I know I’m supposed to be interested in Millie, but I don’t know if I am…I think…I don’t really know how to be attracted to someone. What if I’m broken?”
My jaw tightened. “Don’t ever think that. You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. Some people aren’t attracted to anyone, ever. I can’t remember the name, but it’s a thing, and it’s okay if it’s you. I promise there’s nothing wrong with you, Leo.”
“Oh,” he said quietly.
“Do you wanna skip the club?”
“No. I want to experience this. I want to go. With you. Just maybe…what if Millie wants to dance with me? Or more?”
“You’re a great dancer. But you know you don’t have to dance if you don’t want to. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You can say no.”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “I want to try, though. I just don’t want to lead Millie on if I’m not interested. I mean, I guess I might be interested? I just… I’m not very good at recognising if I am or not. That probably makes no sense.”
“It does make sense. Just remember, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Ever.”
A huff of breath hit the side of my throat. “Okay, if you say so.”
“I do.”
I tugged at his hair lightly, and he spoke up again. “I had an idea. You know how I dared you to learn and perform a dance routine?”
“I was hoping you’d forgotten about that,” I muttered, and he laughed.
“What if we do it for the club? It’ll help me to focus on something, and it means you get to show off your new moves for Daisy.”
For Daisy.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“Good. Let’s make it official. I dare you, Finn Carsley, to learn a dance routine and perform it at Sanctuary on Saturday night.”
With Leo’s smile pressed against my neck and the happiness in his voice, how could I say anything but yes?