Chapter 27
27
S howered and dressed in comfortable joggers and T-shirts, we were ready, and I couldn’t delay any longer. Directing Finn to sit in my gaming chair, I navigated to my phone’s music app and selected a song. Gathering my courage, I reminded myself that I was doing this for my best friend, the person I loved, who’d never judge me or make fun of me.
Then, I began to dance.
“Fuck, Leo,” Finn groaned, his gaze turning dark and hot as I rolled my hips, doing a hybrid of the dance moves I’d practised with JJ and Alyssa and my own version of the choreo I’d watched online in preparation for this. Straddling his thighs, I lifted my T-shirt, tugging it up and off my body, leaving my torso bared to him.
“Can I touch?” he rasped, white-knuckling the arms of my chair, and I nodded. He inhaled sharply and brought his hands up, flattening his palms against my chest. His hands shook slightly, and it helped to relax me a little, knowing this was just as big of a deal for him as it was for me.
We both knew where this was going to end up, and I couldn’t lie to myself and say I wasn’t afraid. I was afraid. But I was also excited that I was going to be experiencing this with Finn. I hadn’t even thought I’d ever get to the point of wanting this with another person, but with him, everything was different. I wanted it all. I was greedy for Finn, and I wanted to try everything with him, to give him all my firsts.
He thumbed over my nipples, and my breath hitched, but I kept moving, rolling my hips down, watching as Finn’s pupils expanded so the black almost completely obscured the deep blue of his irises, his cock lengthening and tenting his joggers. A gaming chair wasn’t an ideal location for a lap dance, but we were both determined to make it work.
“Take it off,” I murmured, running my fingers along the hem of his T-shirt, and he wasted no time in yanking it off his body, leaving all his gorgeous, toned muscles on show for me. Leaning in, I kissed across his collarbone and then up his throat. He moaned, getting his hands in my hair and tugging my head up so he could kiss me. The lap dance was forgotten as we lost ourselves in each other, kissing and kissing like we’d never get enough.
Was it possible to ever get enough of Finn Carsley?
He broke away, panting. “I want you so fucking badly. Do you want to try? If not, we can do whatever, I just—fuck, baby. I just want you so much, however you’ll have me.”
“I want to try.” Sliding off his lap, I stripped off my joggers and underwear, no longer shy under his gaze, and he moaned.
“So fucking hot, baby. Get on the bed.”
I got onto the bed.
Lying there, I watched him as he came to stand next to the bed, close enough to touch. It soon became clear that he hadn’t bothered with underwear, his hard cock springing free as he lowered his joggers and kicked them away.
“Finn,” I breathed, and he sucked in a shaky breath.
“I never knew it was possible to want someone this much.” He glanced towards the newly purchased bottle of lube I’d left out on my bedside table. “How do you want to do it?”
So far, all we’d done was get lube and get tested at the sexual health clinic on campus. Obviously, I’d never done anything with anyone, ever—not counting the things I’d done with Finn, but I’d read some weird stories online that had made me paranoid. I’d forced myself to make an appointment to get tested, just to ease my mind, and I’d sat through a lecture about PrEP and STDs and some other acronyms I couldn’t remember. Then afterwards, as I was leaving, the nurse had tried to give me a supply of condoms. Blame my anxiety or blame me for never knowing how to react in new situations, but I’d run out of there with my face on fire, clutching a handful of extra-safe condoms and hoping with everything I had that I didn’t run into anyone I knew. Or anyone at all.
Anyway, the result of our trip to the clinic was us receiving the news that we were good to go. There was nothing stopping us from trying penetrative sex, other than our own minds. My mind, mostly, and I was pretty sure that a lot of Finn’s apprehension was because he was worried about me.
“I…I don’t know. What do you want?”
He shrugged and then laughed. “Fucking hell. Why don’t we flip a coin? Heads, you top, and I bottom, tails the other way around?”
“It works for me. I thought you might dare me to do it one way or the other,” I teased, but he immediately shook his head.
“I wouldn’t make that into a dare, not until we work out our preferences and comfort levels and everything.”
“I know.” Climbing onto my knees, I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss. “I trust you with my life, Finn.”
“Same.” He pressed forwards, his hard cock rubbing up against mine, making me moan. “You feel so fucking good, baby.”
“Coin,” I said breathlessly. “Quick.”
“Yeah, okay. Yeah.” Breaking away from me, he rubbed his hand over his mouth. “Coin. Right. Fuck. My brain goes offline when you start kissing me like that, and I can feel your cock against mine, like I can tell you’re just as turned on as I am. It’s just—fuck. Okay. Coin.”
He turned around, and I was treated to a view of him from behind, of his muscles flexing as he moved to his wallet, digging out a coin. When he returned to me, I pulled him into another kiss. It felt like we both needed it.
“Okay. Let’s do this. Heads, you top, and I bottom, tails, we do it the other way around. Yeah? Unless you wanna pick?”
“No, let’s use the coin. Come on.” It was my turn to press forwards, sliding my palms down his back as I mouthed at his throat. “I want this. I want you.”
“Yeah. Yeah, okay. Me too.”
His clear nerves helped to settle my own nerves in a small way, and I smiled, pressing one last kiss to his warm skin before trailing my nose up the side of his throat to his jaw, feeling the light scratch of his barely-there stubble.
“Flip the coin. I dare you.”
That made him chuckle. “I accept the dare.” He threw the coin into the air and then slapped it down. When he lifted his hand, we both sucked in a breath.
Heads .
I was going to put my dick inside Finn.
“Uh.” I cleared my throat.
“Yeah.”
We stared at one another, and then both burst out laughing at the same time.
“How am I still this hard?” Finn eyed his dick with suspicion. “With all the nerves and talk about flipping coins, and now thinking about having your dick in my ass for the first time ever, it’s a miracle.”
“Mine, too.” Wrapping my fingers around my cock, I stroked up the length.
Finn’s eyes darkened. “Okay, I know why I’m still hard. Because you are so fucking hot. Lie back. Let’s get comfortable.”
We spent some time with me lying on top of him and then him on top of me, kissing, slowly grinding together until both of us were panting, overheated, and messy with precum smearing between our bodies.
“Lube,” Finn breathed against my skin. “I wanna know what it feels like to have you inside me.”
He rolled onto his front, and I reached for the lube, reminding myself that I was here with the man who loved me unconditionally, and it didn’t matter if I fucked it up or even if he did. We were in this together. With that in mind, I pumped a generous amount of lube onto my fingers, clearing my throat as an indicator that I was ready. Finn spread his legs, and Icarefully touched my finger to his rim.
He flinched, and I jerked my hand away, my heart pounding.
“Sorry!”
“No, no, it’s okay. Just cold,” he mumbled into the pillow. Turning his head, he gave me a shaky smile over his shoulder. “Keep going.”
“Okay.” Swallowing hard, I repeated my previous movement and began carefully circling his rim before daring to press the tip of my finger inside his hole. He exhaled slowly and deliberately as I pushed farther in, trying to remember the tips we’d read together.
When my finger was as far as I could get it, I paused.
“I-is that okay? I’m not hurting you, am I?”
“Feels weird, but it’s okay. It doesn’t hurt.”
Stroking my free hand over the back of his thigh, I continued my movements, glacially slow, until Finn told me to add another finger. By the time I added a third, my movements were more confident, but my erection had flagged. I’d been concentrating so hard on whether I was opening him up right and if I was hurting him, I hadn’t been able to focus on anything else. I knew his prostate was somewhere in there, but I hadn’t even been able to think about trying to find it. Next time, if there was a next time, I’d make sure it was better for him. No one could be an expert on their first try, after all, unless they were some kind of prodigy or something.
“I think I’m ready now.” Finn lifted his hips a little, pushing back against my fingers, and oh…there was something hot about the action that had my dick perking up again. Carefully withdrawing my fingers, I pumped a generous amount of lube into my palm and coated my cock, stroking up and down and feeling it harden beneath my grip. Fuck, I was about to have anal sex with my boyfriend.
“How should we do it?”
He shifted on the bed so his ass was at a higher angle as he buried his face in the pillow. Mmm. It was a very nice view.
“Like this to start with. We can change if we don’t like it.”
“Okay. I’ll, um, just put it in then.” I lined myself up, holding on to him with one hand and circling the base of my dick with the other. The head touched his skin, leaving a shiny smear of lube, and he stiffened.
“Go slow.”
“I will. Remember to breathe,” I said, as much to myself as to him. Holding myself as still as possible, I made sure I was in exactly the right place, and when he exhaled, I pushed in.
Everything was so hot and so tight and like nothing I’d ever experienced before. Nothing that was even comparable to the previous experimenting we’d done. I kept pushing in, so slowly, both of us trembling. When I was all the way inside of him, I stopped, just breathing, thankful that I had an average-sized dick. And that Finn did, too, when it came to my turn to be on the receiving end. I imagined it would have been an even more daunting mission if I’d been on the bigger side.
“You’re inside me,” he whispered shakily, his hands flexing on the sheets.
“I’m inside you.” I could see it and feel it, but I had to repeat the words for them to sink in. “I’m inside you. Is it okay?”
“Yeah. Just let me get used to it for a minute.”
I used my minute wisely, stroking over the backs of his thighs and his ass, feeling him relax beneath me in tiny increments, the vice grip around my dick easing to a tightness that felt good.
“Okay. Try moving. Slow.”
“Okay.” Easing myself back, I gradually withdrew from him, getting about halfway before I pushed back in. “How’s that?”
“Yeah. You can keep doing that.”
After a few minutes of the same careful, shallow movements, we seemed to find our rhythm, Finn moving in time with my slow thrusts.
“I’m gonna try and get a better angle,” he panted, and I slid out of him, letting him get adjusted. When I pushed back in, there was an immediate difference.
He groaned, and it wasn’t a groan of pain. It was pleasure, and it was so hot.
“Fuck, baby. I think that was my prostate.”
A smile spread across my face. “It was? Um, hang on, I’ll try and do the same thing again.”
It wasn’t as easy as it seemed, but after a bit more experimenting, I was hitting more than I was missing, and Finn was making more of those sexy noises that were getting me hotter and hotter. So hot, I knew I was close to coming, but I really wanted him to come first.
“Finn. Close,” I panted between thrusts. “Want you to?—”
“Come in me, baby. Don’t hold back.”
It was as if his words had some kind of magic power because one minute, I was thrusting, the next, I was spilling inside him, gasping as my body shuddered through a climax that stole the breath from my lungs.
“ Finn . Shit. Sorry.” I was aware that I’d stopped thrusting, and I needed him to feel as good as I did.
“S’okay, baby. Fuck, you’re so hot,” he practically slurred into the pillow. “I’ll finish myself off.”
No . I wouldn’t allow that to happen. Pulling out, I tugged at his hip, getting him to roll onto his back. Positioning myself between his thighs, I took his hard, dripping cock into my mouth without hesitation. As I did so, I pressed my fingers back inside him, aiming for his prostate.
I found it. The moan he let out seemed to echo in my ears as I sucked him in time with stroking over his prostate until his body tensed, and he came down my throat with a hoarse cry.
I was proud of myself for swallowing every bit of his cum, and afterwards, with blurry vision from my tears, gasping in a much-needed lungful of air, I collapsed into his arms.
When we’d cleaned up as best we could, I lay next to him, our heads sharing the same pillow.
“You okay, baby?” Finn pressed a kiss to the side of my head as he pulled the duvet up to cover us.
“Mmm. Good. You?”
“Good. We did well for a first try, didn’t we? It wasn’t as scary as I thought it was gonna be.”
I shifted closer to him. “Yeah. You’ll probably find it easier the other way around because you’ve done that before.”
“Baby, no. That was nothing like this, and I don’t even wanna think about anything else other than you and me. I’m gonna make it as good as I can for you, but of the two of us, you’re the one who has experience with sticking your dick in someone’s ass. You’ll have to give me tips.”
“Sticking my dick in someone’s ass.” Smiling, I turned to kiss his cheek. “That’s such a romantic way of putting it.”
“Oh, sorry. How about…inserting your sword into its sheath?”
“No.” There was only one way to stop him talking, and that was to kiss his grinning mouth, so I attempted that, except I ended up kissing his teeth, which was kind of weird. Either way, it worked to stop him talking, and then he kissed me properly, a slow, deep kiss that made my toes curl.
“I wanted you to come from the sex,” I said a little while later, when we were lying in each other’s arms, trading lazy kisses every now and then.
“The way it happened was perfect.” He drew back to meet my eyes, his gaze serious. “I don’t want you to get in your head and think about how things could have been different. There was nothing I would have changed, and I got the bonus of the world’s hottest blow job.”
“It was really okay?”
His hand cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip. “No, it was fucking exceptional. You’re the best boyfriend ever.”
My lips curved upwards. “You are. I love you so much.”
He returned my smile, his gaze going so soft it gave me butterflies. “There’s that smile I love. Love you so much, too, Leo.”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I’m so glad you started gaming with me.”
“Me, too. Team Hammerking forever.”
“Best team ever.”
I fell asleep with the smile still on my face.