Epilogue
Brennan - Four Months Later
Holy shit.
The day has arrived. I’m about to be a father.
Our hospital suite buzzes with a quiet, tense energy as I sit beside Astrid, clutching her hand. It’s been over sixteen hours since her contractions started, and we’ve been through the whole roller coaster together—breathing exercises, position changes, the occasional joke to ease her nerves, and a million ice chips.
I thought I was prepared for this. I had everything planned down to the smallest detail, but watching her endure this kind of pain, I feel totally powerless. My heart aches for her, and I wish I could take some of it away, but all I can do is be here, hold her hand, and remind her to breathe.
“Alright, my love.” I brush back a few damp strands of hair from her forehead. “Just like we practiced. Deep breaths in and out. You’re doing great.”
Astrid’s eyes have been flickering in and out of focus through her contractions, but the look she gives me now is somewhere between exasperation and affection. “Brennan, I swear to God, if you tell me to breathe again…” Her voice trails off, breaking as another contraction grips her and she winces with pain.
I flinch at the contraction but bite back a smile. I’ve been expecting this, knowing full well she’d be sick of my well-meaning instructions by now. Still, I squeeze her hand tighter, hoping she feels my support, even if my words are starting to grate on her nerves.
“Okay, okay, I’ll stop with the breathing reminders,” I whisper. “Just…keep doing what you’re doing. You’re amazing.”
“Much better,” she grits out, her face contorting again as a contraction rips through her. Then her grip on my hand tightens and I can practically feel her strength bleed into me as she rides out the wave. She’s always fierce, but rarely this vulnerable. It’s awe-inspiring and terrifying. My chest swells with a love I didn’t think could get any stronger.
I steal a quick glance at the clock. Nearly seventeen hours now. I’ve lost track of how many contractions she’s had but it doesn’t matter. Time feels like it’s standing still. Every second draws out as we wait for the moment we’ve been imagining for months.
The nurse checks her again and nods, her smile reassuring. “We’re getting close now, Astrid. You’re almost there.”
“Thank fucking God.” Astrid breathes out a low, frustrated moan. “I can’t... I don’t think I can keep doing this.” Her voice is raw with exhaustion.
I rub her temples, lean down and press my forehead to hers. “You can. I know you can. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, and you’ve got this. We’re so close. Just a little longer, and he’ll be here.”
Her eyes well up and she grits her teeth. Fear. Pain. Determination. All shine through her beautiful face.
“I love you, B,” she moans. “But I’m also going to kill you if you say ‘breathe’ one more time.”
Oh, I can’t help it. She’s bugged by everything. I burst into laughter and it feels like a release. Her words break through the tension.
“Noted.” I kiss her nose. “I’ll shut the fuck up now if it makes you feel better.”
The doctor steps forward, glancing at Astrid. “Alright, Astrid, this is it. I need you to push. Hard.”
I hold her hand, bracing myself for her grip, and she does not disappoint. Her nails dig into my skin, but I don’t let go. I can see the effort it’s taking, every muscle in her body straining, and I wish I could do it for her. I say to myself so she can’t hear me, “You’re amazing, my love. You’re incredible. Just a few more minutes.”
She pushes again, gritting her teeth, and I see her face transform. All determined effort. Sheer will to bring our son into the world. I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder, or more terrified.
A sudden cry fills the room. Raw and sharp and impossibly beautiful. I blink, my eyes stinging with tears, and the doctor holds him up, tiny and wriggling and so unbelievably perfect.
“Congratulations,” she beams. “He’s perfect in every way.”
Astrid collapses back against the bed, her chest heaving, but she’s smiling through her tears, eyes fixed on him.
“Bairre,” she whispers, barely audible. “Our little Bairre.”
The nurse places him gently on her chest. I stand there, staring down at them, completely undone. He’s so small, so fragile. I’m afraid to touch him. Afraid I’ll break this perfect, tiny person we made.
Astrid looks up at me, her eyes shining, and she says, “Brennan, meet your son.”
I reach down, my hand trembling as I brush his cheek with the back of my finger. His skin is so soft and he makes a tiny noise, almost a sigh. I lose it. Tears spill over, and I don’t care. I don’t care about anything except this moment, and them. My family.
“He is perfect,” I choke out, and Astrid nods, tears streaming down her cheeks too. “I love you both so much.”
“I love you both so much too.” She leans up toward me and I kiss her, our lips meeting over the top of our baby son’s head.
We stay huddled together for what feels like forever, the three of us cocooned in a priceless moment. I hate to break the spell because I know I’ll carry this with me for the rest of my life. No matter what happens, no matter how chaotic things get, this is what matters.
They are my everything.
There’s a gentle knock on the door, and a nurse peeks her head in. “Your family’s going crazy out there. All of them. They’re anxious to meet him. Let’s get Mama and baby cleaned up and ready, if she’s up for it.”
I laugh, wiping my eyes. “Yeah, sounds like the McGloughlins.” I look back at Astrid, and she nods, tired but radiant.
“Let’s do it,” she says. “Let’s introduce him to his family.”
“Okay, Bairre.” I kiss the top of his tiny head. “You’ve got a lot of people waiting to meet you. And they’re going to love you as much as we do.”