Chapter 3
3
S helby
“I swear to God,” Reid says, touching the spot on his lip where it’s already started to swell from Axel’s punch. Mine tingle too, feeling equally swollen and abused. “I didn’t know who she was until–”
“He didn’t,” I cut in. Axel hadn’t actually seen me kissing his friend. Just that I was on his lap, which, by the way, I’m aware isn’t much better. “I didn’t tell him who I was.”
“You didn’t tell him.” My brother’s attention shifts to me and there’s no missing the sarcasm. Oh boy. I’m not afraid of my brother, but I can’t have him mad at me. Not when I need him like I do at the moment. “You think that makes it better? You’re just sitting on top of guys you don’t know all of a sudden?” His expression shifts as if he’s finally processed I’m here, in his living room, and not in Texas like I should be. “Shel, do Mom and Dad even know you’re here?”
I open my mouth to answer but feel the heat of every eye in the room on me. Reid and Reese, teammates of my brother’s that I know of, but have never met. Reese walks back from the freezer and tosses an ice pack to Reid. A wave of guilt hits, knowing that was my fault.
After handing off the ice, Reese stops next to the smaller girl, sliding his arm around her back. She and Nadia haven’t stopped staring at me since they walked in. I don’t know much about Nadia, but I do know she’s Axel’s new girlfriend and is the main reason he and my father had a falling out. The reason Axel isn’t coming back home after he graduates.
It occurs to me, making the moment even more awkward, that they’re all dressed nice–too nice for a weeknight–including my brother.
My eyes slide to the mostly eaten heart-shaped pizza. They were on a Valentine’s Date and I blew it all up.
“I can explain,” I say, second-guessing coming here and interfering with my brother’s life. “But in private. Please?”
Axel runs a hand through his hair, and sighs, before turning to his friends. “Can you give us a second to sort this out?”
“Of course,” Nadia agrees but pushes past him. “I’m Nadia, by the way, your brother’s girlfriend. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Shelby,” I say, taking in the dark-haired girl. “And same.”
“That’s Twyler and Reese.” She nods to the couple over her shoulder. Then she smirks. “You’ve obviously met Reid.”
Reid. When he’d opened the door I’d been so nervous about seeing my brother that I’d barely taken him in. I’m used to big, Texas-sized guys, so that hadn’t intimidated me, but the casual way he leaned in the doorway, the hard curve of his exposed biceps and strong forearms took me off guard. His hair isn’t arranged in that intentionally messy way, like my brother’s. It’s pushed back from his forehead, but short on the sides; styled. His eyes are a warm, kind, brown, and his lips a dark pink. I’m going to blame the force of all of that for my temporary insanity.
“Babe,” Axel says, cutting his eyes at his girl. His voice is low with warning, but it’s not carrying much weight. She confirms this by turning back to him and kissing him on the cheek.
“We’ll give you two some space,” she tells him.
“Come on, Reid,” Twyler says, waving him over, “I’ll check out your face and make sure Ax didn’t do any real damage.”
Axel doesn’t look the slightest bit ashamed for Reid’s puffy lip, and calls out, “We’re not finished,” to his friend. Reid just nods, following the others up the stairs without another word. I watch him go, eyeing the hard muscles that make up his back.
I can still feel the heat of his chest on my fingertips.
Taste his tongue on mine.
“Sit,” Axel says, breaking me from the memory. I lower into the armchair, not wanting to revisit the scene of my impulsivity. Axel sits there instead, flipping open the box and picking up a piece of cold pizza with his tattooed hand. “You know I’m already on the Rev’s shit list,” he starts, meaning our father, “so if you have something to say, do it, because you know I have to call Mom.”
“Don’t,” I say, panic licking up my spine, “please.”
My tone must sound more pleading than I realize because his expression shifts from annoyance to concern. “Did something happen at home?”
“It’s hard to explain.”
If anyone can understand what I’m going through it’s Axel. He grew up in the same home–knowing what it was like to live by our father’s standards, under the constant scrutiny of being a preacher’s kid at a megachurch the size of Kingdom. Even so, things were different for him. He was allowed to pursue outside interests like hockey and go three thousand miles away to college. He’s covered in tattoos, always dated freely, and barely cooperated with the family rules. I had none of that leeway. Why did our father allow him to do these things when I couldn’t? I only have one guess: because he was a boy.
My father regrets it now, having issued an ultimatum to his oldest and losing.
When I heard that Axel pushed back and took a stand against our father, I’d never been more proud, but I was also sad.
“You traveled two thousand miles and showed up on my doorstep, Shel,” he says, “I think you can explain to me why you’re here.”
“You know I got promised to David at Thanksgiving.” I ignore his frown of disapproval at the pre-engagement, and continue, pushing through in a rush, “Well, last night the parents got together to plan the engagement party and start organizing the wedding. Mom told Mrs. Jones I’d be wearing her wedding dress, and they’d already picked out the location, flowers and tents, and it just felt like they were planning their wedding, not mine. Then when I went to talk to David, I saw Dad revealing blueprints to the home he’s having built for us.” Hot tears prick my eyes as I admit the truth. “No one asked my opinion on anything, Ax. It’s like I’m not even there.”
I touch the ring on my finger not telling him that Dad picked this out too. Yes, I’m still wearing it. I promised, but it lacks the same luster.
The muscle in the back of Axel’s jaw tics, but he doesn’t look the slightest bit surprised. “That sucks. Hard. But it’s not exactly unexpected. They’ve always been controlling and you’ve never had a problem with it before. In fact, you’ve always been pretty agreeable.”
“I know.” Again a wave of uncertainty hits me. Did I do the wrong thing by coming here? Should I have stayed? “I’m having a hard time sleeping–sometimes breathing. It feels like the walls are closing in, you know?”
He snorts, but his hand moves absently to his chest like he feels the pressure. “Oh yeah, I know.” He studies me. “You never ran away before. That’s what this is, right? A runaway.”
“I’m twenty, Axel, too old to run away.”
But we both know that’s exactly what I did. I packed a bag, called an Uber, and used the money I’d saved over the years to get on the first flight to the only person I knew to go to. The only person that had ever rebelled against my parents.
“Did you break things off with David?” he asks, a little too hopefully.
“No.” I twist the ring.
He sighs. “I’m assuming they don’t know where you are?”
“I left a note for Mom, letting her know that I was going somewhere safe, and I just needed some time to sort things out.”
“Well, they’d never consider coming to me as being ‘safe’ so that’s probably why they haven’t called looking for you.” His hands thrust into his hair. “Fuck, Shel, this is going to blow up.”
“I know.” Disobeying my father is one thing, but messing up this engagement, which will reflect back on him and his church? Unforgivable. “I think I just need a minute–away from the house and all the rules and expectations. Some time to get my head on straight, so I can be the wife David deserves.”
“And you figured you’d prove that by sitting in my roommate's lap?”
The casual accusation brings a blistering heat to my cheeks.
“That was just…” Just what? I don’t know. Not like me for sure. I’ve never done anything like it before. Ever.
“I’ll let it go, once. These guys aren’t like you, Shel. Reid’s one of my best friends but he’s…” he searches for the right word and settles on, “...experienced. You’re lucky he’s also a good guy because there are a lot of men on Wittmore’s campus that would take advantage of an innocent girl showing up on their doorstep.” He shakes his head and laughs darkly. “Like a lamb to slaughter.”
I don’t like the description of me being innocent or a lamb, probably because it’s a little too on the nose, but I’m not in the position to argue. “I’m sorry, and I promise that if you let me stay here–just for a few weeks–until I get my head on straight, I’ll stay away from him and anyone else. I’m not looking for trouble.” Or a handsome man with strong hands and lips. “I just need a chance to breathe before the whirlwind of the engagement and wedding kick into gear.” I look around the living room, at the messy pile of hockey equipment, and the dishes piled across the room in the kitchen sink. “I’ll help around the house. Do whatever you–”
He stands and reaches for me, lifts me off the couch, and pulls me into a hug. “Shel, I’m glad you trusted me enough to come to me,” he says, resting his head on top of mine.
A thread of tension in my chest unwinds and I know I came to the right person. For what? I’m not sure yet, but at least he’ll give me the space to figure it out.
After bringing in the suitcase I’d stashed in the bushes next to the porch, and a quiet discussion with Nadia, Axel gives me his room for the night.
“I can’t take your room,” I say, standing in the hallway. I give Nadia an awkward smile as she hovers at the top of the stairs, a bag slung over her shoulder. I’m booting her too, which is weird on so many levels. If my parents knew I was in a house with unmarried couples sleeping together, they would be livid.
I’m not upset in any way, but I can’t help but feel a little immature when I think about what Axel and Nadia do on that bed and how inexperienced I am. My mind wanders back to the couch with Reid. Is it normal to still feel a kiss this long after it happened?
“There’s no way you’re sleeping in the living room,” my brother announces. “Not in a house with four men.”
“That couch is disgusting,” Nadia’s nose wrinkles, “and I have an early shift at the gym tomorrow and should get home, anyway.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Axel says, grabbing Nadia’s hand. “And then I’ll call home to let them know you’re safe.”
They leave and I step into my brother’s room, taking in the college version of my brother. It’s smaller than his room back home, but it’s also more personalized. Mom doesn’t like clutter and makes us keep our rooms clean and tidy. The decor is mostly hockey-related: a few jerseys and a couple of sticks are mounted to the wall. There’s a poster of Axel, dressed in his goalie kit, with the Wittmore Badgers logo underneath. I feel a small surge of pride, knowing my brother is doing so well with the team, but there’s also evidence that he’s not just here for athletics. Books and papers are stacked on his desk, along with his laptop and a full backpack. Standing in the middle of the room, I’m able to take a deep breath, I think for the first time since leaving Texas. Even though I feel safe here–steadier–I know I haven’t solved a single problem that I left behind.
Opening my suitcase I grab my pajamas, happy to get out of the clothes I traveled in all day. The curtains are open and I walk across the room to close them. Axel’s house is at the end of a long row that leads toward campus. It’s the biggest on the street–the only two-story. Down below, I see movement; Axel and Nadia. He’s got her pressed against a car parked out front, her curvy hips pinned beneath his, and they’re kissing.
Oh boy, are they kissing.
My cheeks burn just watching them, and not just because it’s inappropriate to spy on my brother and his girlfriend making out. It’s more because of what I’d done with Reid before. That wasn’t what I’m watching now–two people completely consumed by one another. Mouths in synch, bodies close, hands exploring. The way I’d lunged at him had been sloppy, immature.
Axel’s hand drops down and his fingers dip beneath the hem of Nadia’s skirt. Her legs shift, giving him room, and with my heart–and other body parts–pounding, I abruptly pull the curtains closed and turn away. Is that what he meant by Reid having experience? Because kissing like that? Touching?
Way out of my comfort zone.
David and I are taking things slow–appropriately slow for a promised couple–I think as I pull on the soft shirt and shorts of my pajama set. Which is why my encounter with Reid was so shocking. Who was that girl?
Downstairs, I hear the door open and close, followed by Axel’s voice traveling up the stairs. Moving to the door, I press my ear against the surface, trying to hear better. I hear the word, ‘Mom,’ and ‘she’s safe,’ but the rest is garbled. Frustrated, grabbing my toothbrush as a decoy, I step out to the hallway and linger near the closed hall bathroom door. Axel’s voice carries up the stairs.
“I don’t exactly know why she’s here, Mom, but I think things got too intense with the wedding planning and she needed a break.” He quiets as he listens, then adds, “Maybe it had something to do with Dad arranging a marriage for her when she’s not ready.” I lean over the banister as if that will help me hear my mom on the other side of the line. “She can stay here as long as she wants.” Pause. “Yes, I have roommates. Male roommates.” He sighs. “Jesus, Mom, they’re not perverts, they’re hockey players–successful ones who have too much on the line to mess around with my kid sister.” There’s another pause, this one a little longer, finally he replies, “If you give her a little bit of space I’m sure she’ll come home and end up the doting housewife you always planned for her to be. Shelby is a lot of things, but being defiant isn’t one of them.”
The last line hurts, slamming hard into my chest. Not because he’s wrong–but because he’s right. I’m not defiant, not like him. There isn’t a rebellious bone in my body. Right now, I’m just… something I can’t put my finger on yet, but I feel more scared than anything else.
I hear footsteps and the front door open and close again as he goes out to the porch, effectively cutting me off from the conversation. Resigned, I turn around, and nearly jump out of my skin when I see a figure leaning against the frame of the bathroom doorway.
Reid.
“You scared me,” I say, swallowing back a jolt of adrenaline.
“Sorry. I didn’t expect you out here.” He’s shirtless now, having shucked his ripped up one from before. The soft, melted ice pack is clutched in his hand. His bottom lip is puffier than before, but it does nothing to detract from his rugged good looks. I’d been startled at his… well, everything when he opened the front door tonight. He’s broad. Big. Confident–but in a different way than my father who commands a crowd with ease. This was a lazy swagger, despite the cold and his exposed skin. Unlike Axel, he’s not covered in tattoos. Just the number eight on his bicep.
His reddish hair is more copper than true red, shaggy on top, and has a curled layer of fringe at the nape of his hairline. His brown eyes peek out from underneath as he continues, “I thought he may throw both of us out.”
“He’s on the phone with our mother. Hopefully, getting me a reprieve.” I gesture to his mouth. “Sorry about that.”
“For the kiss?” He touches the bruise with a fingertip. “Or for Axel going all big brother?”
“Both,” I say firmly, knowing Axel meant what he said. He’s not going to let me stay if I disrupt the house–and I don’t want him hurting anyone else. He’s protective to a fault. I cross my arms over my chest. This does nothing but draw his gaze to the motion. “Neither will happen again.”
Except his tongue darts out to touch the bruise on his bottom lip and my stomach flip flops thinking about the way it felt touching mine.
“Look,” he says, lifting the ice pack up to his mouth and holding it there for a second, “I’m not gonna get bent out of shape about a hot girl kissing me, but you should have told me you were Axel’s sister.”
Hot girl? My skin prickles like it’s on fire and from the smirk lifting his lips, he knows it. “I’m not available for kissing,” I tell him, feeling the reminder of the ring on my finger. “And I didn’t want you to call him or anything, giving me a chance to see him before he heard I was here.”
“So why are you here, Axel’s sister. Aren’t you getting married or something?”
“My name is Shelby,” I reply, a little too primly, then add, “He told you that?”
He nods. “He mentioned it after Thanksgiving. He wasn’t too into it.”
“Yeah,” I laugh, “he’s made his views about me being promised to David clear.” Axel has been explicit in thinking that I’m too sheltered—too immature–to be ready for marriage. He thinks I need an education and time to experience life. I think that those are all things I want to do with a partner.
But as we know, no one really cares what I think.
“So, did you break it off with this David guy?” he asks.
“We’re fine,” I assure him. “I just wanted to get away before everything got crazy with the planning. Visit my brother for a while.”
I don’t know why there’s a flicker of annoyance in my chest. Maybe from the fact that his expression makes it obvious he doesn’t believe me.
“Well, whatever reason you’re here, I don’t plan on getting my face busted up again, so try not to climb into my lap again.”
My jaw drops and my hands ball into fists at my side. “I-I,” I sputter, then settle on, “Maybe you should have a little decorum and wear an actual shirt when you answer the door.”
“Maybe.” His tongue darts out. “If you can’t handle it.”
“What? I can handle it.” It being him shirtless, which I won’t lie, is incredibly distracting. Do all men have a thick thatch of hair like that on their chests? Or the thin line below his belly. Is it soft?
“Mmhmm.” His gaze drops and he notes casually, “You’re being pretty bossy for a girl whose nipples are saluting me right now.”
My arms snap up, crossing over my chest. “Don’t look at them!”
He steps toward me, crowding my space. I step back, but just hit the wall. I’ve got nowhere to run when he bends, mouth close to my ear. “Your brother told your mother the truth. We’re a houseful of hockey players who are very focused on the kick-ass season we’re having. But he also lied.” His breath is warm and I can smell the beer he had earlier. “We’re easily distractible. We’re horny. All the time , and will absolutely take advantage of a naive, little, good girl showing up at our door.” He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Standing in the hallway in a thin nightshirt leaving little to the imagination. But here’s the thing, you’re lucky I’m the one that opened the door, that I’m the one standing out here with you right now, baby sister, because I’m the nice guy .” He draws back, our eyes meeting. “I can’t say the same about everyone else on this campus.”
Heart pounding, I couldn’t reply if I wanted. My breath is caught in my throat, my senses overwhelmed by him. His spicy, masculine scent, his massive size, and his warnings. Before I regain control of my senses, the door downstairs slams shut and Axel’s footsteps are at the base of the staircase.
I glance over and when I look back, Reid’s back in his room, quietly shutting the door behind him.
Axel’s pushing his hands through his hair when he appears at the top of the staircase. “You’re still up.” His eyebrows furrow. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I say. “I’m just eager to hear what Mom said.”
“She’s not happy,” he admits. “Mostly about how this will look to everyone else, but she’s willing to spin this into something that will give you a little time.”
“Spin it how?”
“Apparently, you’ve been sent out here to minister to your wayward brother and talk some sense into me.” His eyes roll and a giggle bubbles out, my chest loosening. “It’s not funny.”
“Isn’t it, though?”
“We’ll talk about it more in the morning, but she’s giving you three weeks. You’ll need to be back before the engagement party.”
“Okay.” I don’t tell him that it feels both like a reprieve and a prison sentence. “Thank you, Ax, I really appreciate it.”
“You know how I feel,” he tells me. “I never wanted this for you in the first place, and if you don’t want it–let me know.”
“I do,” I assure him. “I want it. David. The wedding. I just need some space from Mom and Dad and this deranged planning, you know?” He nods, and it’s obvious how tired he is. “Tomorrow we’ll also talk about where I’m staying. I can’t keep your room for a month.”
“Agreed.” He rubs his chin, and I don’t miss how his eyes dart to Reid’s room. “I’ll come up with something after practice in the morning, which is early as fuck, by the way.” I frown at his language, which prompts him to add, “If you’re staying here, you gotta get used to how I live, and talk, and everything else.”
“It’s fine.” I lunge at him and wrap my arms around him. “You’re a good big brother, you know that?”
“Yeah,” he yawns, stretching his arms over his head, “well you’re still the pain in the ass little sister.”