Chapter 9 - Rael
Rael had always prided himself on his control.
It was what set him aside from Javi, who acted on instinct and anger, and what made him useful to Silas, who had to have someone to rely on when the shit hit the fan.
It was control that kept him alive in the field, it is what made him good at his job, and it is what enabled him to compartmentalize and operate when everything around him was chaos.
But there were limits to his control, and Alanis was trying each and every one. He’d been irritable for three days now. He would snap at his pack members when training and lost his temper in a meeting with Silas and Javi.
He knew why he was like that. It was a simple problem: Rael wanted Alanis around all the time.
She had only spent a couple of weeks in his house, and he was already addicted to her presence.
Now that she was either with Sara and Elle, or evading him somewhere else in the house, or shut up in her room, he seemed to feel that something fundamental was lacking.
It was annoying. It was distracting. And it was getting worse.
Last night had been hell. He knew she was in heat. He could smell it the instant her scent changed from peaches to something warmer, sweeter, stronger. It hit him with such intensity that his wolf surged up within him with a kind of possessiveness that bordered on violence in its intensity.
“Ours. Go to her; she needs us.”
He tried to brush it off, remain in his room, and concentrate on the papers that were lying on his desk. He tried to do anything but what each of his instincts was shouting at him to do.
However, at about three in the morning, he found himself standing outside her door.
It was not his intention to visit. One moment, he sat at his desk, with a clenched jaw and hands fisted on the armrests of his chair. The next moment, he was in the hallway, in front of her door, his hand lifted to knock, and his wolf howling in his head.
Her scent was overwhelming. It seeped out of the crack of her door and filled the hallway, making his cock stiffen till it hurt. He heard her pacing the room—anxious, nervous. He heard her fast, shallow breathing, and underneath it all, he could smell her arousal, thick and intoxicating.
It took everything in him not to open that door and fuck her.
She was not ready, and neither did she fully trust him, although they were bonded. She had one foot in and one foot out the door. Coming into her room at night during that state would spoil the few good things they had done.
He just stood there leaning his forehead on the doorframe, breathing heavily, his body aching with impatience. He had his hand wrapped around the doorknob. All he needed to do was turn it.
His wolf insisted. “She needs us. Can’t you smell it? She’s in pain.”
“I know,” he groaned quietly. “I know.”
But he stepped back. He couldn’t do it. Rael returned to his room and closed the door. Then he took off his clothes and fisted his cock with his hands.
Her scent invaded his lungs, while he thought about what he would give to bury himself in her again. What he would give to feel her come around him again.
It was not enough. Not even close. But it had eased the edge enough that he was able to focus.
Standing now, in the training yard, at noon, and seeing the pack members put through drills, Rael clenched his jaw, a wave of frustration falling over him.
He hadn’t seen Alanis all morning. She was in her room when he left the house, and although he had a desire to knock on her door, he did not give in.
“You look like you want to kill someone.”
Rael glanced sideways at Javi, who was standing beside him with his arms crossed.
“I am fine,” Rael gritted.
“Sure you are. How’s Alanis?”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Fine.”
“Uh-huh. Could have fooled me.”
Rael did not take the bait. He could not, because the reality was too pathetic: he was losing his head over a woman who was still looking at him as if she couldn’t decide whether to leave or stay, and the bond constantly drew him to her, making it difficult to stay away.
Javi sighed loudly. “Look, I don’t know the woman, and it has been creepy to see you with a permanent scowl on your face the past couple of days. So, just speak to her or something. Whatever is going on between you two,” he gestured to Rael’s face, “isn’t doing that any good.”
Before Rael could respond, a commotion in the equipment shed drew his attention. He turned around, eyes narrowed.
Three female members of the pack were standing in a loose circle, and among them all was Alanis.
His wolf raised its hackles, wanting to protect. But Rael compelled himself to remain still, to watch, to see how this would work out.
Alanis crossed her arms and raised her chin. One of the women—Kira, if he recalled correctly—was talking, and her voice was loud enough to carry through the yard.
“I’m just saying, it seems convenient. You appear out of the blue. You cannot shift and you’re Alpha Rael’s mate?” Kira’s voice dripped with venom. “Some of us have been here all our lives, and we do not get that sort of special treatment.”
“Special treatment?” Alanis scoffed. “Is that what it means when I’m being looked at like an intruder? When I hear whispers about me that quiet down each time I enter a room?”
Kira’s smile faltered. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Yes, you do.” Alanis stepped forward, and pride surged through Rael as he watched her stand her ground. “If you have something to say, you say it to me, to my face and not to your little friends.”
The other two ladies were now glancing at each other uncomfortably, while Kira turned red.
“Okay. You want me to be straight? You do not belong here, you cannot shift, and therefore you cannot help the pack, you cannot hunt, you cannot defend territory, you cannot do all the things that count. You are dead weight, and everybody knows it.”
Alanis’s jaw tightened, but her voice remained steady. “This conversation isn’t over.”
She started to walk away when Rael saw Kira grabbing her by the arm and pulling her.
That was enough. Rael was across the yard in seconds, pulling Alanis behind him. “Do not touch her,” he said in a low and dangerous voice.
The training yard fell quiet.
Kira’s eyes widened. “Alpha Rael, I had no intention to hurt her.”
“I don’t care what your intentions were!” He stepped forward and put himself between her and Alanis. “She is my mate. That means she is under my protection, and that means she is your Luna! Anybody who insults her offends me. Is that clear?”
Kira and the other two women nodded and bowed slightly.
“Good.” Rael raised his voice higher. “And that is directed to the rest of you. Alanis is a member of this pack, and you will treat her with the respect that she deserves. Should I hear any more of you troubling her, we will have a very different conversation.”
Another moment of silence followed, and then the members of the pack bowed and resumed their drills.
Rael looked at Alanis, hoping she would feel relieved. Rather, he was confronted with her staring at him, her gray eyes storming with rage.
“What the hell was that?” she asked.
He blinked. “What?”
“I had it covered, Rael.” She took a step back. “I didn’t need you to swoop in and fight my battles for me.”
“They laid their hands on you.”
“And I was handling it!” Her voice rose slightly higher, and a few curious glances were cast in their direction. “I know these sorts of people. I know how to handle them.”
“I’m sure you do, but—”
“But nothing.” Then she turned her back on him and walked down the road that led back to the house. “I am not a wretched victim who must be defended, Rael. Don’t treat me like one.”
Rael stood there, confused and frustrated. Then he followed her. “Alanis, wait.”
“No.”
“Stop and talk to me for a moment, okay?”
She turned so rapidly he almost bumped into her. “What? What shall I say? Thanks a million for making me appear weak before the entire pack? Thanks to you, we made everyone realize that I am not able to defend myself.”
“That was not my intention.”
“But you did it anyway!” Her hands clenched into fists by her side. “All you are doing is making it worse. Now they are not only going to see me as the shiftless outsider who is unable to be of any use, but they will see me as the pet project of the Alpha that needs him to protect her.”
Rael’s jaw tightened. “They grabbed you, Alanis. Was I to be a passive spectator of what was going on?”
“Yes! Or no—I do not know!” She shoved her hand into her hair. “I simply want you to let me do things my way rather than being all up in my business all the time like I am some delicate creature that is going to crack.”
“Look, I do not think you’re weak,” Rael softened his tone. “I think you are the toughest person I have ever known. That does not mean that I am going to sit back and watch someone try to harm you.”
“You want to know what I see when I look at your pack, Rael? It is what I saw in my previous pack—people who already made their minds up that I am not worthy of their time, who looked at me and saw something missing. The only difference is that here I have you to serve as my umbrella, and that only makes me more pitiable and pathetic.”
“You’re not any of that.”
“Then stop treating me like I am!” Her voice cracked at the end as she looked away, blinking.
Rael took a step closer. “Alanis—”
“I need space,” she held up her hand. “Just leave me alone for a while.” She turned and walked away.
Rael stood and watched her fade into the distance. His wolf howled with agony at the increase in the distance between them. Everything in him was prompting him to go after her, to rectify this, get her to know that he was not trying to belittle her; he was trying to protect her.
Javi’s words echoed in his head. “Just speak to her.”
Perhaps talking was not helping. Perhaps he had to demonstrate to her.
Rael breathed deeply and trailed the path that Alanis had blazed toward the house.
He found her in the kitchen, with her back turned to him.
“I said, I need space.”