Chapter 21
Ravi lay awake long after Yaz had drifted off.
He listened to the wind and thought about the following day.
If everything went to plan, they would reach Shaldorn.
They were right on schedule. There hadn’t been much time for conversation with their demanding descent, but he had been thinking about her.
There had been a moment when she’d let her guard down as he inspected her injury. He’d been ensnared by her blue eyes and wanted to know what she was thinking, even as images of their tangled bodies filled his mind.
Ravi had told her she didn’t need to face the world alone, but he did the same thing. Though he suspected their reasons were different. Trust didn’t come easily in his line of work. He found it simpler to keep everyone at arm’s length. But Yaz had somehow wormed her way past his defenses.
He closed his eyes and settled his arm in the indent of her waist with his hand resting over her stomach. He’d tried to find a way to get her in exactly this position all day. Perhaps he should thank the gods for giving him what he wanted. If only things weren’t so complicated.
His thoughts returned to Shaldorn and everything Yaz had shared.
He knew exactly what he could say to force her to join him.
But she would hate him for it. Well, she would loathe him even more than she already did.
But this was about Shecrish. Thousands of lives meant more than one person.
Yaz would have no choice but to come with him inside Shaldorn’s walls.
But he didn’t want to take her. He didn’t want her anywhere near that place. The gods, however, had other ideas.
It was more than pleasantries between him and Yaz.
He thought it was more than them saving each other.
Being friendly had turned to friendship.
He never saw that coming. However, that would change in an instant on the morrow.
Still, she was a human of her word. She would help him achieve his mission.
No doubt she would make their return trip exponentially more difficult, but he would accept whatever she threw at him. He’d deserve it and more.
It would likely crush everything they had built over the last few days. If there was another way for him to succeed, he would do it.
He wondered if she would consider working for the DIA. She would make an excellent agent, and the job would give her stability for the children. Even if she did join the agency, she would likely ensure their paths never crossed again. Which was too bad. He liked her.
The irony wasn’t lost on him.
His arms tightened around her, knowing this could be the last time he held her.
He would never know her secrets, never fully gain her trust. He wouldn’t get to see one of her rare smiles and know what it was to run his fingers through her hair.
He would never know the taste of her kiss or the feel of her body clenching around him as she climaxed.
For the first time in his career, Ravi didn’t want to be the person running the operation. He wanted someone else to force Yaz so he could keep what they had developed. He wanted to be the one she turned to and sought out when her burdens became too heavy.
But that wasn’t in the runes for them. Their paths had been laid out long ago, destined to cross and briefly mingle, only to deviate. But she would leave a lasting impression.
This small, human female had taken on the world, accepting each battle as it came.
She never went looking for them, and she never cowered, never hid.
She faced whatever it was head-on, daring the gods and fate to bring her down.
She might have stumbled a few times, but she had gotten right back up, stronger than before.
He didn’t need to know the details of her past to come to that conclusion, but he saw it in her each day.
And for this brief moment, it was just the two of them.
Ravi came awake slowly, surprised he had fallen asleep. He reached for Yaz, but she wasn’t there. He lifted his lids when he heard a noise. She leaned away from him, digging in her pack. Her hair was loose, the damp midnight strands drying as they cascaded down her back.
Without thinking, he reached for a lock of her hair and wound it around his finger. She glanced over her shoulder. It was dark inside the tent. He couldn’t see her face and cursed the fact that he hadn’t turned on the light. He wanted to see her and put every inch of her to memory.
“Did I wake you?” she asked. “Sorry. I was hungry.”
Ravi rolled onto his back, careful not to tug the blanket she had clutched to her chest. “Aye. We should eat.”
He sat up and used a small portion of his magic to ignite a light no bigger than his palm. He set it near him, where it shed enough of a glow to see. It was difficult to keep his eyes off Yaz, especially with them sitting naked beside each other.
As they ate in silence, he wondered what she would think of him when all this was over.
He’d shared little of himself—practically nothing, really.
And she had asked. Initially, he hadn’t told her to be spiteful.
After all, what was the point of giving her any information?
At least, those had been his thoughts once.
Now, he wanted her to know who he was. She had shared.
He wanted to do the same. Maybe it would make her think better of him later.
It probably wouldn’t, but it seemed important right now.
“I had a partner once,” he said.
She shot him a startled look, her brows furrowed. There was a beat of silence before she asked, “Oh?”
“Well, we worked on some assignments together. We weren’t always paired up. I prefer to work alone.”
“You don’t say?” There was a ghost of a smile on her lips.
Ravi chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “I can be difficult.”
Her lips did curve into a grin then. “So can I.” She looked away. “Is that why they aren’t here now?”
He chewed and swallowed before saying, “We are no longer partnered because their loyalties came into question. It occurred while we were on a mission.”
“They betrayed you.”
He nodded, glancing at her.
“It was a female, wasn’t it?”
He swiveled his head to her. “What makes you say that?”
“The way you talk about it. If it had been a male, you’d be angrier.”
“You don’t think I’m furious about it? It nearly cost me my life.”
Yaz pulled her hair over her far shoulder and watched him, waiting for him to continue.
“It was a female,” he said with a sigh. “Took me too damn long to figure out what she was about.”
“Because you were too close to her. That’s what happens to lovers.”
Ravi leaned back on one elbow and shook his head. “How did you piece that together?”
“The way you talk about it. You’re angry, aye, but more at yourself for not knowing what she was up to. You also hold a lot of resentment toward her for betraying you and the agency. You stopped her, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“Then you triumphed.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” He ran a hand down his face, scraping his beard.
“She used me. She used everyone. I thought what we did mattered to her. She had goals other than keeping Shecrish safe. Coin and power was what she was after. She stole confidential information and sold it to the people we were in the process of taking down. She told them my plan. They were waiting.”
“What tipped you off about her?”
He shrugged. “It was a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. I thought she was in danger. I told her and attempted to stop her from going, but she ignored my words. That’s when I knew she was involved.”
Yaz handed him a flask and drank from her own. “That changed you. Every decision, every choice, alters us. That’s just the way it is. I spent a lot of time being bitter and hating everyone, but my decisions put me in Shaldorn.”
“How so?”
She licked her lips and looked down at her hands in her lap. She was silent for so long he didn’t think she would continue. Then she took a deep breath and slowly released it before saying, “I ran away from the people raising me.”
“Your parents.”
Yaz snorted and rolled her eyes. “They’re not my parents. They didn’t give birth to me.”
“That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider the people who raised us our parents. What if the children with you began calling you mum? Would you stop them?”
She slowly shook her head. “Never. But you need to understand that not every couple the Ministry grants children to are meant to have them. They may want them, but they shouldn’t be allowed.”
Ravi thought about his parents and nodded, waiting for Yaz to continue.
“They were affluent, and they loved to show off. They had been granted an elven boy three years before the Ministry gave them me, but he died a year before I came. They gave me the newest and prettiest things, and we constantly went out, like they were showing me off. They were very strict, though they never physically harmed me.”
Ravi’s gut clenched at the words because he feared what was coming.
She played with the ends of her hair as she got a faraway look in her eyes.
“I got sick. I was too young to remember the details of how it began, but I remember being unable to move. Laboni, my mother, took me to a healer, who helped. A couple of weeks later, I was sick again. It was the same thing. And back to the healer we went.”
“They couldn’t figure out what ailed you?” he asked.
Yaz made a sound in the back of her throat.
“They just said I was a sickly child. Laboni and her husband got a lot of attention for that. Everyone felt sorry for them since they had already lost one child. Many of their friends commented on how great they were to undertake having such an ailing human. There would be times when I felt good, and they quickly brought me out of the house on display. But I was sick more often than not. Laboni got some herbs from the healer since we were there so often. She added them to my meals, which was why my food had to be prepared separately. It’s true something was put into my food, but it wasn’t the herbs from the healer. It was lake root.”
Ravi slowly sat up. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Are you telling me your parents were poisoning you?”
“I know for sure Laboni was. I saw the bottle. I dumped my food out that night and didn’t eat. I went to the kitchen while everyone slept and searched for the bottle. I knew as soon as I smelled it that it was the source of the weird scent in my food.”
“How old were you?”
“Twelve.”
He ran a hand over his face. “You were a bloody child.”
“A human child.”
“It shouldn’t matter,” he bit out.
Her gaze met his. “But it does.”
“What did you do?”
“I dug around for the herbs from the healer, which I took to help myself get better. I also hid food in my room. For the next few days, I ate only the food I had and took the herbs. I healed and got stronger. And I began to plot my escape. Because I knew it would continue. I couldn’t trust them and knew no one would believe me.
I snuck out in the dead of night, taking only the clothes on my back and a few coins I’d found. ”
Ravi stared in amazement at her. “Did they look for you?”
“Not that I know of. I went far from the neighborhood so they couldn’t find me.
I lived on the streets, wandering during the day and finding any place I could at night where I’d be safe.
When I dared, I bought food until the coin ran out.
After that, I learned to steal. I was good at it, and it kept me fed.
I did pretty well until I picked the wrong pocket one day. ”
He quirked a brow, impatiently waiting for the rest of the story.
“I’ll never forget her. She was a beautiful Moon Elf with stunning blue hair and ice-blue eyes.
She was out of place among the human community, dripping with wealth.
I didn’t think she’d miss one of her many bracelets.
But she caught me. It wasn’t anger when she turned to me, though.
She smiled. There was kindness in her eyes.
I was filthy, my clothes in tatters, and my hair in knots.
I can’t imagine how I must have looked since I only ate once a day.
She didn’t toss me away, though. She asked if I wanted a better life.
One far away from Rannora, where I would have new clothes, a bed, and three meals a day. ”
Ravi realized his hands were clenched into tight fists in the blanket. He forced himself to relax.
“I hesitated because it sounded too good to be true. She assured me I could leave if I didn’t like what I saw.
I took her at her word and followed her into the carriage.
We went straight to Shaldorn. It was the first time I had been out of Rannora, and I was so excited.
The gods had finally answered my prayers.
The first time I saw Shaldorn, I was awed by its size and beauty.
She ushered me inside, and I was bathed, dressed, and fed in short order.
When I didn’t eat straight away, she asked why.
I told her what Laboni had done. She explained that it was the lake root that had made me ill.
I smelled my food, but there was none of the scent I was used to in it.
So, I ate. I ate until I was nearly sick.
For two days, I did nothing but eat and wander the front of Shaldorn.
I didn’t see the Moon Elf again after that first night.
I asked for her. I even inquired about her name, but no one would tell me.
Finally, a staff member asked if I wished to remain.
I couldn’t imagine leaving. It was heaven. I was safe for the first time.”
Ravi followed her hand as it tucked her hair behind her ear and adjusted the blanket under her armpits.
“I was taken to my new rooms after I declared I would remain, and that’s when I discovered the truth about Shaldorn. It’s a place where the wealthy play, but it’s a prison for the rest of us.”
Rage, unlike anything Ravi had ever experienced, rushed through him. They had taken a child from the streets, one starving and homeless, and offered her a dream. Anyone would’ve taken it.
And he could imagine many, many had.