Chapter 38
The hours bled into each other as the healers rotated in and out of Yaz’s room. Ravi alternated between pacing and sitting as he watched the trio of elves continue to repair the damage Yaz had sustained.
And somehow, through it all, she clung to life.
Ravi ate when food was put in front of him and drank when a cup was placed in his hand, but he didn’t leave Yaz’s side.
He didn’t know what day it was. He didn’t even know what time of day it was. Worse, he had no idea where he was.
And he didn’t care.
There were occasions when Ravi heard voices outside Yaz’s room. He caught Dain’s voice a time or two. A week ago, he would’ve been right beside Dain, wrapping up the mission or returning to Rannora for another. He had changed somewhere in the ice and snow of the Dangerous Peaks. Fundamentally.
He ran a hand down his face and shifted forward in his chair to prop his elbows on his thighs.
Yaz had taken care of him when he was ill.
Where had he been when she needed him? Fulfilling his assignment.
He should’ve looked closer at her. He could’ve urged Arya to get the device.
It didn’t always have to be him saving the day.
Not at the cost of someone like Yaz.
There had been nothing outside of work for him in a very long time.
No friends, no hobbies. Not even downtime.
He was his job, and his job was him. Not that he hadn’t had his share of affairs.
He had. But they had been meaningless. He always held a portion of himself back, never giving anyone everything.
Because he had known he couldn’t have a life with them.
The reality was that he hadn’t wanted a future with any of them.
He had liked his perfectly ordered life where his emotions were always in check. Yaz had ripped apart the walls around him, though she hadn’t come inside. Instead, she had made him see and feel things he hadn’t dared to experience before.
Now that he had, there was no turning it off.
And he didn’t wish to.
“You look like shite.”
Ravi glanced up to find Dain beside him.
There was no malice in the Dark’s voice.
Just truth. Dain sighed as he brought a second chair next to him and sat.
Ravi was known for his attention to detail, but he had been so focused on Yaz that everything else around him had become fuzzy and distorted. Almost as if none of it were real.
“Arya and I have been scouring Shaldorn,” Dain said.
In the past, this would’ve had Ravi on his feet and raring to go. He should make an effort. But he couldn’t leave Yaz. “What have you found?”
“There’s been no sign of Gita or One. I doubt they’ll return anytime soon. We did locate more staff. We’ve spent a lot of time coaxing them to leave. Nearly all are out. Only a few remained. Arya is working to convince them they’ll be safe.”
“Will they?”
Dain shrugged. “You know the answer to that.”
Ravi nodded before he dropped his head to pinch the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
“My agency dismantled the device.” Dain paused, letting it draw out. “Durga is waiting to talk to you.”
“I know.”
“We’re not giving up on Yasmin.”
Ravi looked up at Dain and nodded. “I’m not either.”
Dain rose and left without another word.
The hours dragged after that. Each one without Yaz waking sounded like a death knell in Ravi’s head.
He let his thoughts drift, jumping from memory to memory.
Inevitably, a picture of Yaz filled his head.
He remembered how she had kept her head high as Durga’s men hauled her into that small room behind the restaurant.
The only time he’d glimpsed fear was when Durga had threatened prison.
Now that Ravi had seen the box used at Shaldorn, he understood Yaz’s terror.
He couldn’t imagine how scared she had been sitting in that room with them.
Yaz hadn’t cried or begged to be released.
She had waited to learn what Durga wanted.
Even when Yaz grasped that she was in an impossible position, she hadn’t taken it out on anyone else.
She had focused on what she had to do to get it done so she could return to the kids.
A hand on his shoulder jarred him. Ravi’s eyes snapped open, and he sat up at the sight of the male healer.
“I’ve healed your injuries.”
“I told you, I’m fine. Save it and the herbs for Yaz and the others,” Ravi snapped.
The Star Elf dropped his arm to his side. “We’ve done all we can for her.”
Ravi glanced at the bed to find Yaz still as death. “Is she…?”
“She’s sleeping.” The Star Elf sat, his violet gaze intense as he regarded Ravi. “I can’t promise she will wake. There was substantial damage. I’m amazed she’s lived as long as she has.”
“She’s a fighter.”
The healer nodded. “Aye, she is. There was a lot of scar tissue. This wasn’t her first time being hurt in such a manner.”
Ravi looked at Yaz. “What are her chances?”
“Hard to say. Her body has been mended. However, there could be psychological damage.”
Ravi’s head swung to him. “Meaning?”
“Her mind might not allow her to wake. I took the liberty of having a look for myself.”
“And? Did you find anything?”
“The brain is a unique and powerful organ. Most healers don’t delve into such things for fear of taking things too far.”
Ravi swallowed past the lump in his throat. “You don’t feel the same?”
“I’ve done more research than most, but I’m not an expert by any means. I couldn’t detect anything in Yasmin’s mind that caused me concern. That isn’t to say there’s nothing there,” he cautioned.
Ravi digested that bit of news. “Thank you…” He frowned. “I don’t even know your name.”
The Star Elf chuckled. “I give it to very few, and Dain knows this. I’m Vijay.”
“I’m honored to know your name. Thank you for all you’ve done for us.”
Vijay bowed his head. “The honor is mine.”
Ravi stood with him as the healer left the room. Ravi would find the other two soon and thank them. Words would never truly convey the depth of his gratitude.
Now that he was alone with Yaz, he brought the chair closer to the bed and lowered himself into it. He hesitated when he started to touch her, and instead fingered the end of her braid.
“It’s time to wake, Yaz,” he told her. “There are things to do. You need to get back to the children. They need you. I…need you. I need you, Yaz. Please, wake up.”
Ravi hadn’t expected her to open her eyes, but as the day wore on and she didn’t stir, his worry grew.
Hour after hour, she lay without moving or responding to him.
Dain spoke to her. Vijay returned and talked to her, but she seemed too far away for anyone to reach.
The sadness in the healer’s eyes told Ravi exactly what he thought.
“Don’t,” Ravi told Vijay before he could say the words. “She’ll wake.”
The world faded away again. The only one who was clear and steady was Yaz.
Ravi folded his arms on the bed and rested his head upon them.
He allowed himself to nap, and each time he woke, he feared he would find her gone to a place he couldn’t follow.
He ate because he had to, but he didn’t taste anything.
It could’ve been dust for all the attention he paid to it—or cared.
He prayed to each of the gods, sending up prayers he hadn’t said since he was a small boy in hopes one of them was listening. They had kept Yaz alive many times before. He only asked for one more. Yet each of those prayers went unanswered.
Rage set in. He paced the room like a caged animal, his hands fisted at his sides as he imagined what he would do to Gita and One when he found them.
Ravi had never cared for torture, but he would take great pleasure in meting it out to those two.
Then he would haul them to Durga and let them rot in jail, never to see the outside world again.
Never to hurt anyone again.
He meticulously planned the torture for each of them, imagining how they would scream and beg for him to stop.
He would carry out his punishment at Shaldorn, in the very contraptions they had used on Yaz.
It wouldn’t bring her back, but it would be a smidge of the payback they deserved for Yaz and the countless others before her.
Ravi pivoted, only to come up short when Dain stood in his way. Ravi’s stomach clenched, and he hastily looked at the bed. He watched Yaz’s chest, waiting to see it rise and fall. When he did, he breathed a sigh of relief and noticed Arya fiddling with the covers.
“What?” Ravi demanded as he looked at Dain.
“I know what you’re doing.”
“I doubt it.”
Dain’s yellow eyes hardened. “You held on to hope for as long as you could. When that began to run out, you prayed to every one of the gods. The simmering anger boiled over when you didn’t get a response.
That’s when you began to envision the vengeance you will unleash on those who hurt Yaz. Am I close?”
Ravi glared at the Dark but didn’t answer.
“The gods don’t ever answer,” Dain continued. “I learned that a long time ago. Don’t waste your time on prayers when you have me and Arya, who will join in your hunt for Gita and One.”
Ravi slid his gaze to the bed and found Arya staring at him. She bowed her head in agreement. Ravi looked back at Dain. “Why?”
“Does it matter?”
“Nay,” Ravi replied.
“Manu and his people have been keeping an eye out for them since we brought Yasmin here.”
Ravi frowned. “Why would he care?”
“I wondered if Yasmin had shared that story,” Dain said as his face softened. “Manu found her after she escaped Shaldorn. She was nearly frozen to death. He nursed her back to health and showed her the way out of the mountains.”
Ravi ran a hand over his jaw, thick with a beard once more.
“I notified him that Yasmin was leading you to Shaldorn. He followed to make sure no trouble came upon either of you.”
“I knew I saw someone trailing us.”
Dain held his gaze. “The point is, you aren’t the only one who wants revenge. We’ll find them.”
“Thanks.”
The Dark turned on his heel, the loose edges of his coat billowing around him. “Take a bath. You stink,” he said before leaving the room.
“You do,” Arya added.
Ravi looked down at himself. He lifted an arm and sniffed, grimacing. He did need to wash and change. “Will you stay with Yaz until I return? I don’t want her to be alone.”
“Of course.”
Ravi found his way back to the room he had been given. He hadn’t seen it since he’d first arrived. He paused at the bed to find another set of clothes. Later, he would find out who was seeing to him and pay his respects.
He filled the tub as he undressed and wondered if magic heated the water or if there were thermal vents nearby.
He had to admit that it felt good to stretch out in the tub and allow the heat to soften his tense muscles.
His lower back ached from his time sitting.
Not to mention his neck from falling asleep in such awkward positions.
Ravi reached for the soap, caught a whiff of sandalwood, and thought of Yaz.
How long could she linger as she was? The healers could help keep her alive until she regained consciousness, but they couldn’t do that forever.
That was if she ever regained consciousness.
There would come a time when someone would have to decide when enough was enough. He couldn’t be that person.
He had failed to see how badly she was injured.
All because he knew the device was nearby.
His attention should’ve been on his partner.
Because that’s what Yaz was. And he had to admit, they worked well together—well, after they got past the hating-each-other part.
He wanted a chance to tell her all of that.
He needed to say it.
Ravi could say it to her now, but he had been waiting until she woke.
Perhaps he should prepare himself for the fact that he might never get to tell her when she was conscious.
Maybe she would still hear it. There were elves who believed those caught between life and death could hear and see others.
Ravi had never thought much about it until now. Could she see him? Could she hear him?
Would she know how sorry he was for leaving her?
Would she know the lengths he’d gone to for her?
Would she know how much he cared?
He thought about the way she had looked at him when they walked through Shaldorn. He was the one she had grabbed when the past rose up. He was the one who steadied her. But he was also the reason she had been in that godsforsaken place to begin with.
Ravi finished his bath and got out. He walked to the sink and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He ran a hand over his beard which had begun to grow in again. Yaz had liked his face devoid of hair. So, he found a razor and shaved. Then he put on clean clothes and left his room.
Halfway to Yaz’s, he heard voices. As he approached, he saw a group standing outside her door.
Their smiles and laughter had hope surging inside him.
He shouldered his way through the crowd, halting at the doorway.
Inside, he spotted Arya, Dain, and Vijay standing around the bed.
And sitting up against the headboard was Yaz.
Ravi looked over to find Dain watching him. The Dark motioned him forward. All the things Ravi wanted to say to Yaz filled him. Then he remembered the sight of her bloody body in the box.
He backed up and walked away.