Chapter 17
VALANCE
It took everything I had to not fall off the dragon, to collapse at the mercy of my rising emotions.
Confusion. Shock. Joy. They were a storm in a harbor, churning the seas into violent waves with me trapped within them.
Kormac was alive, here with me again, shivering under my cloak, in need of heat and shelter.
At first, I asked the dragon to take us straight to Winter Keep without stopping.
However, I quickly came to realize the warmth Kormac needed was a pressing requirement.
So, I commanded her to land on the eastern edge of the forest. As she did, I thought of the first time we’d fucked in that place of the hot baths Brigid had conjured for us after crossing the White Wastes.
I summoned a wooden building to life, filling it with a hot pool, a large bed, and candles, adding towels, food, clothing, anything useful I could drag into this time and space.
I floated Kormac off the dragon’s back, climbing down to catch him at the bottom. I’d been used to him carrying me, performing his duties as my protector. It felt strange to hold his muscled body like this, draped in my cloak.
My eyes were hot at his presence, the dark caress within confused by this return.
His loss fueled my anger, my quest for revenge, deeply tangled in the confusion of my heart and mind.
Without him, I wanted to wish away the pain, to destroy the world, to succumb to the dark temptations of my inner voices.
But now he was with me once again.
I carried him into the beautifully warm shack with walls made of logs, a plush carpet underfoot.
A hot pool steamed to my left, a large bed with welcoming softness to my right.
I lay him down on the bed. He shivered, curling into a ball.
I joined him, curling around him, pouring more magic into the blazing fire within the hearth close by.
Smoothing his chin-length, wet brown hair, I spoke gently, silent tears running down my cheeks. “You came back to me.”
“I… I…”
“Don’t speak right now. Rest. Get warm.”
He shivered, pushing his spine into me.
His earthy scent, blended with the cold, enveloped me. I enjoyed the smell, that rugged human aroma.
“I came back for you,” he said weakly. “I came back.”
Silent tears broke free. I held him closer, drifting through a dream. What did I say? What did I do other than hold him?
“Thank you,” I eventually answered.
“For what?”
“For coming back.”
“I… I’m so tired.”
I wanted to kiss the back of his neck. “Then sleep. You’re safe with me.” A statement that once wouldn’t have been true, now as solid as the toughest stone.
Keeping him safe called to my every instinct. He was a man to be protected at all costs, to be held and nurtured and hidden from those who wished to harm him.
Now that I had him back, I would never let him go.
But was he really here? Was this me dreaming, my body somewhere else waiting to wake up to my grief?
Only time would tell.
Mercifully, I didn’t wake up from any dream.
Kormac snored in my arms, his exhausted body enveloped in sleep.
I enjoyed every breath, every moment he wriggled against me.
He never turned to face me, always on his side.
He wasn’t as restless a sleeper as me. I would drift off in one position, only to awaken tangled in sheets at some completely different point on the bed.
Sleep was the last thing on my mind.
I stroked his hair, waiting, praising Danu for the gift in this bed I had conjured.
After around six hours, I wasn’t entirely sure, he stirred. A groan, a yawn, he turned his beautiful body, facing me. He smiled, stroking my shoulder, his eyelids heavy with waking.
“Morning,” he said. “Is it morning?”
“It’s evening,” I answered.
“How long did I sleep for?”
“Six hours or so. It seemed like you needed it.”
Another yawn. “I really did.”
By Danu, those lips, that stubbled olive face. “How are you feeling?”
“Dirty.”
“Oh?”
He propped himself up on an elbow, looking behind me. “I really need to get into that bath.”
“Would you like anything to eat?” I heard his stomach rumble.
“Is there food here?”
“If you want there to be.”
He glanced at the ceiling of logs. “Reminds of the first time… you know.”
“I know.”
He grinned. “What food do you have?”
“What food do you want?”
“I can have anything I want?”
“Of course.” I touched his side. “Anything.”
He licked his lips, his gaze boring into mine.
Whatever he wanted, whatever that muscular human body desired, he could have it. I was his grape on the vine, primed with juice, ready for plucking to fulfill his appetites.
“Spiced eggs and bacon,” he said.
I swallowed. “Pardon?”
He sat up, running a hand over his face. “Spiced eggs and bacon. It’s a popular Autumn breakfast. If you can. Please.”
I sat up, ignoring the hardness between my legs. “Of course.” Why did my voice sound higher?
“Are you okay?” he wondered, cocking his head to the side.
I nodded, swinging my legs off the bed. “Spiced eggs, bacon, and… what else?”
“Hot goat’s milk.”
I conjured a table, a dark wooden oval. The food appeared on silver plates, the steaming milk in a silver mug. A chair followed, then another.
“Can I sit with you?” I asked.
“Please do. Are you eating?”
There is only one thing I want to eat… “Not just now.”
We sat together, Kormac tucking in heartily.
“This is just like home!” he declared.
If only this shack could be our home, our safe space for as long as he could stand me in his presence.
He came back for me…
After his food and milk, he told me his tale of life beyond the stars.
I almost fell off my chair. “Such a place exists?”
“Yes. I lived this whole life, serving destinies,” he said. “I thought I’d forget all about it when I came back here. But the memories are still in here.” He tapped the side of his head. “I don’t think they’re going anywhere. Unless they fade over time.”
I couldn’t believe this. “An angelus.”
“That’s right.”
“Watchers. Servants.” I swallowed. “Incredible.”
He nodded. “But I prefer being human.”
I preferred it, too.
“Then you were from the stars,” I said.
“I was. We… We were written there, like the old woman said.” He frowned. “Strange, isn’t it?”
“Extremely.” Other worlds, other existences. Creatures of glass watching, coming to aid lives. I believed him, no question. But it sat heavy like too much beef in the gut, a struggle to digest.
I conjured myself a sizzling steak like I used to enjoy in my childhood, vibrant green broccoli astride it.
“That looks delicious,” Kormac said.
I conjured one for him. “Try it.”
He didn’t complain, tucking in. “By the gods,” he said with his mouth full. “This is amazing.”
“I know.”
Once we consumed our food, he wanted to know my story.
“What happened after I died?” he asked.
My heart twinged. “I’m so sorry, Kormac. I’m so sorry I did that to you.”
“You were manipulated. You had to.”
I shook my head. “If I would have seen it coming, I would have done everything to stop myself.”
“But I’m here now.” He reached across the table, taking my hand.
I couldn’t handle his azure eyes on me.
I looked away. “I can’t…”
“You can, Valance. I’m here. What happened isn’t your fault. It never will be.”
I returned my eyes to his. “How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true. I know you would never hurt me.”
“I did, though. Before the soul bond. When I took your tongue.”
He shrugged. “And what?”
“And if it wasn’t for the magic, I could have hurt you more.”
He leaned further across the table, sliding his hand up my arm.
“Do you think I’m innocent in this? I traveled to Summer to hurt you, remember?
Because I believed you were the ultimate evil.
But you’re not. So, it took magical intervention for me to see that, but I really see that now.
You’re… You’re you, and you confuse me and make me feel things I never thought I would for a seelie prince.
But here we are, my hand on you, us sharing food after you held me into the night. ”
I struggled to formulate a response.
“We’ve changed, Valance. Our eyes are open. Everything has shifted to this point. And I like it, even if I had to die briefly.” His forehead creased. “Though I didn’t actually die. Not in the traditional sense.”
I chuckled lightly. “You say such sweet things.”
“They’re true. We learned lessons about each other. We saw the reality beneath the surface. Actually thought for ourselves rather than following hate, things put in our heads by years of war and stupid doctrine.” His hand returned to my hand. “I really do forgive you for everything.”
Warmth, so blissful, so precious. It sang within and without, forced me up out of the chair. He stood to meet me as I hurried around the table, taking him into my embrace. Held him, fought the rising sobs.
“Oh, Kormac…” I breathed.
“Do you forgive me?” he asked.
“Of course I forgive you. Let it be water under the bridge.”
“This feels right.”
It did, a burden lifted. The past could never be forgotten, a stain in time, but forgiveness and moving forward were virtues not many could attain. I never believed I held the capacity to forgive, yet here I was, my slate clean.
“We have bridges,” he said.
I laughed against him. “We do.”
“Thank the gods.”
“You really do smell rather dirty.”
“Told you.” He broke our embrace, stripping off his clothes without care.
My cheeks flared with heat as I watched his nakedness hurry over to the pool. He dipped a toe into the milky, perfumed water.
“Perfect,” he said and stepped in, his body swallowed up to his neck as he submerged himself. “Gods, this is bliss. Come and join me.”
“Join you?”
“If you want to.”
Casting aside my unusual bashfulness, I stripped and submerged my body in the water.
It really was bliss.
We leaned against the same edge of the pool, sat on an underwater ledge. I told him my story, the whole journey from his death to finding him in the snow.
“That’s incredible,” he said, pawing at the surface of the water. “How does it feel to have so much power inside you?”
“Wonderful, terrifying. It isn’t without its complications.”
“What isn’t complicated?”
I nodded. “Such is life, I suppose.”
“You’re a survivor, Valance.”
“Thanks to you.”
“Well, yes.” He wriggled his eyebrows. “I’m the oxygen to your fire.”
“Careful now, let us not become too self-inflated.”
“I’m only speaking the truth.” He winked, then his expression turned serious. “So, do you want me to call you Your Majesty now? I keep using your name and---”
I stopped him. “Call me Valance. I like it.”
He puffed out his cheeks, released a long breath. “Okay.”
“Why did you think I’d want you to use official titles?”
“Because you’re a king now—on the cusp of becoming the one and only king at that.”
“Meaning what?” I questioned.
“I just wanted to be respectful.”
“That’s very kind but not required. Not from you.” I pushed a loose strand of hair off my forehead. “From everyone else, I demand it.”
“So you should. Make them fall in line. But don’t think I don’t respect you.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Is it hard being king?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that. “Do you know what I often dreamed of as a child?”
“Changing the subject, are we?”
“Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. Did you dream about how many treats you could steal from the Summer Palace kitchens?”
I offered him my best glare. “Besides that.”
He chuckled. “Tell me.”
“Love,” I replied, his smile dropping. “At least when I turned fourteen or so. I dreamed of a charming man sweeping into my life on horseback, there to take me away to some faraway place where he would be my husband, and I his, the rest of Faerie shut outside of our perfect existence. I even gave him a name.”
The corners of Kormac’s lips twitched. “This was a real dream, man?”
“Of course. Noah, I called him. A handsome man of dark brown skin, hair so black it was obsidian, eyes a rich honey gold.”
“Sounds handsome.”
“He was, and he rode a stead to match his hair.” I sighed. “But we never made it to a faraway land, the dream only ever progressing from our meeting to the horse charging north.”
“I’m sorry, Valance.”
I was sick of that word. “What for?”
“For not getting what you wanted.”
“It was just a dream.”
He sidled closer to me, his elbow touching mine. “It doesn’t matter. You still deserve to get what you want.”
I angled my head, so I faced him more directly. He mirrored my movement. “What about your dreams, Kormac?”
He leaned closer suddenly, steam curling between us. “What about them?”
I watched his lips, his tongue running across them.
“Did you…” I trailed off from the closeness of him, the heat of the water doing things to my body.
My cock grew firm once again.
A crackling, potent energy rose between us. My cheeks flushed again, the tingling heat spreading down to my neck, flooding all of me.
“Kormac…” Water dripped off the ends of his hair, sparkling in the candlelight.
“Shouldn’t we be getting back to your keep?” he whispered.
That was the last thing on my mind, and clearly his, too.
“Soon,” I said. “First, I want to make sure you are feeling better.”
He smiled. “How are you going to do that?”