Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Kaely sensed that Erin was right about the killer sending some kind of message, but what was it?
He had a bad childhood and was killing out of anger?
He didn’t get enough toys? That didn’t make sense.
There was something else going on here, but she wasn’t certain what it was.
She could tell that, even though Noah was being as laid-back as he could be in a situation like this, the stress was getting to Erin.
She clearly wanted to help, but seeing something she’d written played out so violently was difficult for her.
When Noah glanced her way, she nodded her head slightly and frowned, trying to send a message that Erin needed some time to decompress. His return nod was barely noticeable.
“Let’s take a break,” Noah said. “I need a cup of coffee.” He smiled at Erin. “How about you? I have to warn you first, though. It’s truly awful.”
“Oh, Noah,” Kaely said, grinning. “It’s not that bad. You’re just used to mine.” She pointed at him. “You told me a church brought doughnuts in this morning. Any left?”
“There are. Jelly-filled doughnuts and some great cheese Danish. Can I interest you in one?” He directed his question to Erin.
She nodded. “I love cheese Danish. That is unless the church brought some Mallomars.”
Noah laughed. “Sorry. I don’t think they did.” He stood and headed to the back of the building, where the tables and chairs were set up.
Kaely moved her chair closer to Erin. “You’re doing great,” she said. “Seeing that bracelet and connecting it to the other deaths? That’s amazing.”
“Someone else would have noticed,” Erin said. “The Barbie and the Beanie Baby might have been regarded as superfluous. But with the bracelet . . . well, it seems these old toys are important to the UNSUB.”
Kaely nodded slowly but didn’t say anything.
“What are you thinking?” Erin asked.
Kaely turned her head to meet Erin’s gaze. “What do the doll, the Beanie Baby, and the bracelet have in common?”
“Well, they’re all old. I mean, I know Barbie and Beanie Babies are still around, but that Barbie was popular around twenty years ago.”
“How do you know that?” Kaely asked.
“It’s a special edition. A holiday Barbie.
I really wanted one when I was ten. Never got it, though.
My parents died right before Christmas. I always thought my mother planned to buy me one, but after the accident, there weren’t any Christmas presents found in our house.
Mom was really good about preparing for Christmas, but I guess with Courtney’s problems, she just didn’t have time to shop.
” She shook her head and looked away. While they were working together on Erin’s first book, she’d told Kaely how her parents had died on ice-covered roads while rushing to the hospital after her seventeen-year-old sister had once again overdosed.
Kaely felt such empathy for Erin. They’d both had very rough childhoods.
Kaely felt it was one of the reasons that Erin had felt safe enough to open up to her.
Erin turned her head and met Kaely’s gaze, her expression tense.
“You’re the profiler. What do you think the toys and bracelet mean? ”
“Well, it must have something to do with his childhood. But the doll, the bracelet, maybe even the Beanie Baby—they all seem more . . . feminine. Maybe he has a beef with a female sibling? I’ve seen that before.
” Kaely shook her head. “I need to think about it a little more. It’s hard to focus here.
” She frowned and leaned back in her chair.
“Okay, moving on, what do mystery and suspense authors have to do with the murders? Is he simply copying the authors so he doesn’t have to think up MOs on his own? ”
“That doesn’t sound right, does it? I think we already decided that he’s extremely intelligent, organized, and narcissistic.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Kaely said slowly. “He’s clearly creative. The poems make that obvious.” She frowned at Erin. There was another possibility tickling the corners of her mind, but she wasn’t certain if she should voice it.
“What?” Erin said, her tone somewhat cross. “I can tell when you’re thinking something, but you’re not sure you should tell me.”
Kaely raised an eyebrow. “So, you think you can read me, do you?”
“It’s not that hard. The more time we spend together, the easier you are to understand. Please, tell me what’s on your mind.”
Kaely hesitated, unsure of what to say. The last thing she wanted to do was to frighten Erin. She knew she was tough, but she’d been through a lot. Kaely didn’t want to add to her paranoia. Talking to the task force was clearly stressful enough.
“I have to wonder,” she said slowly, “if the UNSUB is targeting authors for a reason. Maybe the toys and the poems are just a distraction. Perhaps one author is his actual target. The others are just designed to hide his real objective.”
“Target?” Erin said. “You think he intends to kill one of us?”
“I think it’s possible. And I’m certain Noah and the other special agents with the BAU have considered that as well.”
“So, is this guy targeting authors or someone from his childhood?” Erin retorted. “Which is it?”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Kaely said gently. “I’m just tossing ideas around. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I . . . I’m sorry.” Erin rubbed her forehead. “I haven’t been around this many people for a while. It’s making me uptight.”
Kaely noticed Noah headed their way. “Maybe we could finish the interview at home later.”
Erin shook her head. “No. I appreciate your concern, I really do. But I need to get through this. I can’t run away or let you coddle me, even if your intentions are good.
It’s time I stopped being so afraid. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.
Besides, I doubt that Detective Herrington would appreciate it.
” She offered Kaely a tight smile. “The person I’ve become?
That’s one of the reasons I need God in my life.
I still haven’t been able to heal from what happened in St. Louis.
I truly believe I need His help to get better.
I’m tired of being scared of life, Kaely.
And I’m tired of being trapped in that one night.
I have the rest of my life to live. I need to move on. ”
“But it’s not really just that night, is it, Erin?”
“What do you mean?”
Kaely smiled at her. “Before that night, you lost your parents and your sister. Your aunt. Then you found out that the man you loved was cheating on you. Those losses are bad enough, but not long after that, you watched him die. And you accidentally killed that young girl, Sarah. That’s a lifetime of pain. Really hard for one person to bear.”
Noah had almost reached them, but Kaely waved him away. He stopped in his tracks, then turned and went back to the place set up for people to eat. She was glad he was sensitive enough to realize that she needed some time alone with Erin.
“The truth?” Erin said.
“Please.”
She turned her tear-filled eyes to Kaely. “I know this might sound . . . crazy. But sometimes I feel like years ago I shattered into a thousand pieces that are now rattling around inside me, like broken glass inside a jar.”
Kaely pushed her chair up next to Erin and put her arms around her. “I’m making you a promise,” she said softly. “If you give Him the chance, God will put all those pieces back together so that the cracks won’t even show.”
Erin tried to hold back a sob. “I’m holding you to that,” she said. “I just want to feel joy again.”
“You will.” Kaely hugged her and then motioned for Noah to come back. She had no fear that God wouldn’t do what she’d promised because He had done the same thing for her.