Chapter 12 Ashes and Aftermath
CHAPTER TWELVE
ASHES AND AFTERMATH
Joshua sat in the back of the ambulance, legs dangling over the edge, air hitching through his chest. His feet were freshly bandaged—wrapped in gauze after being cleaned and checked. One of the EMTs crouched beside him and slipped an oxygen mask over his face, guiding his hand to hold it steady.
A second EMT gently fitted a mask over Colin’s nose and mouth as he sat by Joshua’s side, then checked the gash on his forehead.
His hands—bandaged now—rested on his lap, limp and trembling.
The pain had come late, but now it throbbed in dull, steady pulses.
They had offered painkillers, but he refused to take them.
Lenny stood beside the ambulance, gaze flicking between his two friends, lifting a hand now and then to swipe at his damp cheeks.
Daniel leaned against the back bumper of the second ambulance, face averted, breath hitching beneath his oxygen mask.
A strip of gauze crossed his temple, stained faintly through.
His left arm hung close to his body, wrapped in a compression bandage the medics had secured minutes earlier.
Smoke clung to all of them—hair, skin, clothes—an echo of their anguish.
They watched in silence as Sarah’s body was lifted with careful, reverent hands. No sirens. No drums. No formal honors yet. Only the soft murmur of commands and the shuffle of boots on blackened earth as her fellow officers prepared her for the Medical Examiner’s transport.
Colin removed his oxygen mask and moved to Daniel’s side. Without a word, they came to attention as four officers secured her stretcher inside the coroner’s van, heads bowed.
When the doors shut, Daniel’s composure broke. He turned, and Colin caught him; the two held each other in a brief, fierce embrace before Daniel stepped away, falling into line with the escort units assembling behind the van.
For a moment, Colin stood alone, watching as the vehicles pulled away—shoulders squared, breath held—as if sheer will might keep it in sight a moment longer. Then Joshua’s voice reached him—muffled through his mask, but shaking, calling his name.
He turned at once, stumbling back to the ambulance. Joshua’s eyes were wide, frightened. Colin sank down beside him. Before he could speak, the EMT was already there, guiding the mask over his face.
A car skidded to a stop behind the fire engine, headlights blazing, doors flying open.
David.
He ran across the yard with Nate a step behind, his coat flaring, his face set and pale.
“Where—where are they?” he asked the nearest officer. A hand pointed. David’s eyes found them. Colin–seated next to Joshua, who leaned against his shoulder.
He ran to their side. “My god! Are you OK?” He glanced down and gasped. “Oh, god, Colin, your hands—”
“I’m fine,” Colin muttered, voice muffled by the oxygen mask. His hearing was slowly returning. Everything was still muted but discernible.
“You’re not,” David snapped, “but we’ll sort that out later. You’re coming home with us. Both of you.”
Joshua looked up, eyes red-rimmed as Nate appeared beside him, enfolding him in his arms.
A city detective moved to Colin’s side and laid a hand on his shoulder.
“Colin, I fucking hate having to tell you this, but I just got a call from downtown. Your boss found out what happened, and she is breathing fucking fire! This is now a crime scene, a homicide investigation–and you are on security lockdown. I don’t think they’ll let you stay at your friend’s house. They’re gonna want you protected!”
Joshua tore the mask from his face. “Protected?” he burst out, his voice rasping but still thin with outrage. “Are you fucking kidding me? Look around you, Brad! It’s a little goddaman late for that!”
Colin also removed his mask. “Listen, man. I like you,” he growled, teeth clenched.
“But if you try to stop me—” he leaned in until his face was inches from the detective’s—“I’m going to my best friend’s house with my husband and whatever pitiful, soot-covered belongings I can salvage from my burning fucking house! ”
The officer flinched.
“And I am not in the fucking mood to be told no.”
There was a long pause, then Brad drew in a deep breath as if gathering courage.
“Colin, man, you have to listen to me! You can not go into that house. You can’t even cross the yard.
You know better than this—you’re an ex-cop, a city prosecutor, an officer of the court!
” He turned to Lenny, pleading silently for backup.
Lenny laid a hand on Colin’s forearm and lifted the oxygen mask back over his mouth.
His voice dropped, quieter than the ambulance engine but carrying an authority that cut through Colin’s shock and fury.
“Colin, you know you can’t go in there. Cross that yellow tape and it’s evidence tampering—it’s a fucking felony.
Try it, and I swear to god I’ll put you in a headlock and cuff you to my goddamn car. ”
Colin shook him off and coughed, the burn in his throat a grating reminder of the smoke he’d inhaled. “Lenny, I can’t just—”
“Colin?” Joshua whispered, his eyes huge above the mask. “Please don’t, love. Please. Lenny’s right. You could be disbarred—and that’s the only thing that could make this worse. I can do without anything in that house. I can’t do without you.”
Colin slumped in defeat, eyes closing as the fight bled out of him. “OK. OK, babe.”
David’s phone rang, a sharp jolt that sliced through the hush, drawing every gaze. He listened for a moment, then extended it to Colin. “Esther.”
“Oh, fuck me!” Colin spat, snatching the phone as he yanked off the oxygen mask.
“Look, boss, I get it—” He stopped, listening, then stared down at the ground.
“I know, Esther, but—” He listened again, then rolled his eyes and handed the phone to David.
He turned, leaning against Joshua’s shoulder, readjusting the mask over his mouth.
“What did she say to you?” Joshua asked, voice husky.
Colin sighed. “She warned me not to set foot in the house or take anything with us when we leave.”
David pressed the phone to his ear and listened.
“I don’t know yet, Esther. I haven’t been inside, but it’s still standing, and the Fire Marshell told me the flames didn’t reach the upper floor, so there’s hope.
I’ll bring a contractor as soon as I’m allowed.
” He listened again, his back stiffening.
“No, Esther, you listen to me. I’m taking them home—my home.
If you want them protected, that’s where they’ll be—under my roof.
” His voice softened, but the steel didn’t leave it. “I’ll call you once they’re settled.”
He ended the call and slid the phone into his pocket. “You’re staying with us. Your security detail will be waiting at my house.” He leaned toward Colin. “She said the bomb squad and ATF responders are on the way.”
Colin nodded, then hissed out an angry breath. “Fucking peachy!” he blustered, the mask muffling his outrage. “Now the feds are in it. And we can’t even get a fucking change of clothes!” He spun to face the paramedic. “Can we leave now? There’s nothing more you can do here.”
“No, sir—you can’t leave. You’re being transported to UVA Medical for evaluation. In the meantime, you both have to stay on oxygen.”
“He’s right,” David said, resting both hands on Colin’s shoulders. “You and Josh have to be looked at.” He tilted his head toward Joshua. “Look at him, Colin! Do you want him to end up with permanent lung damage?”
Joshua’s face was gray beneath streaks of soot. The mask over his mouth and nose fogged and cleared—breaths too slow, way too shallow. When their eyes met, Joshua tried to smile, but it dissolved into a cough that bent him double.
Colin’s hand shot out to steady him.
“We’ll be right behind you,” David assured him. But Nate, who had been sitting next to Joshua the entire time, got to his feet, drawing Joshua up with him. “I’m riding with them.” He shot a glance at the paramedic. “Is that OK?”
The EMT nodded and took Joshua’s arm, guiding him to a gurney. “Sure,” he said to Nate. “You can sit here next to him. Just be sure he keeps that mask on.”
The ambulance doors slammed—bright lights, cold metal, the hiss of oxygen. Colin let them push him onto a small bench, let them secure the mask over his mouth, but his eyes never left Joshua, who was slumped across from him, leaning into Nate’s shoulder.
“Deep breath for me, sir.”
He tried. Cold sweat covered him. His lungs hitched, sharp and painful, and suddenly he was back in the house—smoke thick and suffocating, Joshua’s weight against him, his heart hammering with the terrifying certainty that they might not make it.
“Sir? You with me?”
Colin blinked. The paramedic watched him, clipboard in hand, expression unreadable.
“I’m fine,” Colin croaked.
The EMT didn’t argue. He moved to Joshua, adjusting the flow on his oxygen. “Pulse ox is climbing. That’s good.” He looked at Colin. “Lucky. You got him out just in time.”
Just in time.
Not with time to spare, not safely.
Just in time.
He gripped the edge of the bench, wincing as pain flashed through his bandaged hands.
Across from him, Joshua slumped sideways against Nate—head resting on his shoulder, unmoving, soot streaking his cheekbones like war paint. A layer of ash and plaster dust clung to the dark curls Colin loved.
His throat locked.
“I did this to us,” he choked out—voice raw and cracking. He felt his throat constrict, eyes burning with tears as his breath caught on a sob. A hand on his arm pulled him back: Nate, gripping him hard.
“Hang on, Colin,” Nate whispered. “Hang on.”
Colin turned his eyes to Joshua’s face. “It’ll be all right, love,” he said in a muted whisper. “We’ll get checked out, then we’ll go to David’s and rest.”
Joshua gave him a slight smile. His lips moved behind the mask, shaping words Colin couldn’t quite make out over the rumble of the engine and the muted whine in his ears.