Chapter 23 #2
Didn’t know I liked seeing him so needy, either.
The gazebo floor is cold under my knees as I drop down in front of him.
From this angle, he really does look like a god.
Towering over me.
Is he controlling me, or do I just want this so badly that I’m a willing participant? Deep down, I know I can’t lie to myself, and I know that if Hunter was in front of me like this any time, even back in the day… there’s no chance I would have been able to refuse him.
Because I don’t want to refuse him. I want all of him.
He takes one step closer until he’s right in front of my face. His fingers land below my chin, tilting my head back a little before I put my lips on him.
“Look at my eyes while you take my cock,” he tells me in a low tone. “Don’t stop looking at me. Understand?”
“Yes,” I tell him, nodding up at him.
Take what you need.
Please, fucking take it, because I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything this much.
The tip of his cock pushes against my lips, warm and inviting in the cold air. And the moment I feel him there I part for him, letting him slowly slide all the way in.
His hand wraps around behind my head, his fingers lacing into my hair. The sound he makes feels like a little prize for me. He hums deeply, and all I want is to make him feel that, over and over again.
He pushes into my throat for a few beats, and I can’t take a breath while he’s there.
When he pulls back out I pull in a lungful of air, and his grip tightens on the back of my head.
“I can handle more than that,” I tell him, looking right in his eyes with a challenging gaze.
I see a brief flash of recognition in his expression.
And then he shoves his cock back into my mouth, going in all the way to the hilt, plunging deep into my throat without warning.
I moan around him before my air is cut off again, and he thrusts into my mouth like that a few times, hard and fast.
“You look good when you’re on your knees, king,” he murmurs down at me.
He grips my hair hard, tugging it until he gets the exact angle he wants.
And then he thrusts in far again.
I don’t know how it’s possible to feel powerful when another man is taking my throat like it’s his own personal fucktoy, but sitting here on my knees and giving this to him, it’s the only feeling flooding through me.
He fucks my mouth until my lips are slick around him, and I reach to grip the back of his thigh with one hand.
I keep my eyes trained on his eyes, just like he told me to.
“Need you. Need to come,” he says under his breath, the words coming out slowly, like he’s forgetting how to speak.
I have the power to make him lose himself like this.
And I realize that the impossible has happened.
Hunter Knox trusts me.
Which is a privilege almost no one else in the world has ever gotten.
And I’m even crazier than I thought, for wanting this so badly. If Hunter is unhinged, then I guess I am, too.
I’m a monster, too.
And I’m more than fucking okay with that.
He pulls back for a moment, keeping the tip of his cock between my lips. As I catch my breath, I let my tongue slide over the ridge of the head, teasing at it.
For a moment, I look away, glancing over toward the back of the Daggers house.
And the moment my eyes leave his, I feel the sting of a little smack on my cheek.
“Eyes up. On me. What did I say, baby?” he utters in a low voice.
My cock aches at the combination of sensations.
A streak of morbid curiosity rolls through me.
And I look away again, this time glancing down at his arm instead of holding his gaze.
This time, when I feel the sting of his hand on my cheek, I’m anticipating it. And it definitely wasn’t a fluke.
My cock throbs at the rush of sensation.
I fucking love when he smacks me like that.
The heat his palm creates as it hits my cheek. The way I actually made him do it, by disobeying him.
I moan softly as he strokes his thumb over that heat on my cheek, and I can see the hint of a smile on his lips.
“You really do enjoy that, don’t you?”
I pull off of his cock for a moment, using my fist to keep a grip on it.
“Maybe I should punish you back,” I tell him. “I told you to be quick out here. Do I have to beg? Come in my mouth, Hunter.”
He lets out a breath of air, and I can feel his cock throb in my fist.
“Mouthy. So goddamn mouthy.”
“Give me your cum,” I demand.
His eyes flare. “You really are perfect.”
“I wanted you while you were gone this morning. Came to the thought of you last night because you refused to get in bed with me. I want you constantly, Hunter. Maybe I’m not perfect, but we’re perfect together.”
He cuts me off by pushing his cock past my lips again.
His eyes have gone cold, and it had to be from something I said.
Because I’m saying way too fucking much.
I may as well have just professed my undying devotion to him, because for Hunter, even the smallest amount of adoration makes him raise his spine like a defensive tiger.
“Look at me when I come,” he says.
I watch him the whole time.
The fire in his eyes that’s been building all day.
I don’t care anymore if Hunter is going to drop me like a broken toy when he’s done.
Any moment that I’m with him, I’m going to give him what he deserves.
Trust, after a lifetime of not being trusted.
In every kiss.
Kindness, even though he tries so hard to pretend he doesn’t want it.
In every. Fucking. Touch.
And affection that he’ll toss right back at me, even if I can feel it inside him, too. I can feel that he cares, even if he won’t say it.
And even if he runs far away from me after all of this, he’s going to know that I cared about him, too.
I hold my hand on his thigh as he thrusts deep into me, and I know by his broken breath that he’s close.
And I look at him like I belong to him.
What he’s wanted, all along, and what I’ve stubbornly refused.
I realize my hands are shaking a little now every time I pull them away from him, so I keep them firmly pressed on the back of his thighs to stay steady.
I am yours, I say on repeat in my mind as I watch his eyes. And you aren’t fucking alone.
I push my tongue up on the underside of his cock and he bucks his hips forward one more time. I feel him pulse as he holds my head in his hands, and he finally loses control, coming over and over in my mouth.
“Good,” he says as he catches his breath.
I feel used.
In a good way.
I also feel like I crossed a threshold I can’t come back from, now.
Please, give me more?
My heart beats too fast.
I’m always going to want you.
I swallow around him, and slowly slide his cock out of my mouth, keeping a soft gaze on him the whole time.
“Good,” I repeat back to him.
As if this is the end of some goddamn business negotiation.
As if we’re strangers who don’t know each other at all.
“Get your cock out,” he tells me in a curt tone. “I know you’re going to come fast, so let me return the favor.”
I’m still hard and feel like I’ve been edged this whole time, but I shake my head.
“Is that what this is? A favor?”
My heart pounds harder as I ask the question. It feels like I’m entering new territory again, territory I never thought I’d enter with Hunter.
The air feels chillier now, and a breeze is blowing in.
He glances up at me, and it’s as if I can see a silent war behind his eyes.
For a moment, I think he’s going to kiss me.
He’s never able to resist stealing a kiss from my lips.
And then something shifts.
“You don’t want to fall for me, Rayne,” he says, and now he won’t make eye contact with me at all. “If that’s what you’re trying to tell me, I don’t recommend it.”
“Liar.”
A sudden sound comes from the direction of the house and I jump.
I turn and see three guys coming out from the back door, two of them singing some song together, their voices carrying out across the yard.
Hunter and I have been in our own little snowglobe and now it’s suddenly shattered, breaking me from a trance.
And I’m tired of running.
Running from my own truth, hiding, and playing at secrecy.
I walk down and out of the gazebo, crossing the snowy lawn and nodding at the other guys.
They smile at me, all of them clearly drunk.
“Colson,” one of the guys says, reaching out to fist bump me when I get near.
I head inside the house, and walking in and seeing everyone dancing and so carefree just makes me angrier.
After a few minutes I go out onto the front porch alone.
I have no idea where Hunter is. Probably still out in the gazebo alone, too, trying to think of ways to convince me I shouldn’t want him.
And that thought pisses me off more than any other.
No.
Hunter isn’t going to push me away.
That’s what he does.
He tries to hold a middle finger to the entire goddamned world, but I know there’s something more that he feels for me.
He has to feel this, too.
I loop around the side of the house, taking the stone pathway that leads back around to the backyard.
But as I loop under a cluster of trees, I realize that the three Double Daggers guys are still on the back patio.
And they’re talking about me.