Awake—ish
Dahlia
The barest hint of sunlight filters into my brain, pulling me out of a dreamless sleep. When did my mattress get so firm?
That isn’t a mattress. It’s a man I’m lying on.
Vex talked me into coming back to his place again to watch a movie. It wasn’t hard. I didn’t want to be alone and scared in my home. I must have fallen asleep on him…again.
Did I really think this wouldn’t happen when I went home with him?
None of this is real.
When I go home and go to work—
Work!
“What day is it?” I hop up, slamming my hand down on Vex’s chest.
“Dahl, what’s wrong?”
“What day is it?”
He barely lifts an eye open as he gently pulls me back towards his chest. “Why does that matter? Go back to sleep. It’s too early.”
I’ve probably already lost my job. “What day is it?”
“Monday.”
Monday. Am I late? I reach over and grab his wrist to look at the gold watch he always seems to wear. Vex slept fully dressed last night on top of the comforter just like he did the night before, which was incredibly considerate.
“What are you doing?”
“Work. I need to go to work. It’s Monday.” Real people have jobs, and I don’t want to lose mine.
“Call in.” Vex blinks his eyes open but doesn’t move his arm from where it’s wrapped around me, keeping me anchored to the bed.
“I can’t.” That’s not exactly true. My job is pretty flexible about stuff like this, but I’m still pretty new and don’t want to take a random Monday off… which would make people ask questions. Questions that I don’t want to answer because as soon as I walk out of Vex’s place I’m going to pretend this whole weekend was a bad dream.
A dream I don’t even need to tell my therapist about.
“Yes, you can.” Vex stares me straight in the eye. “Stay with me.” His rough voice is still filled with that sleepy edge men in the movies have.
Those words tug at my heart. More than almost anything, I want to curl back into his safe, warm arms and fall back asleep.
But dreams can’t last forever. “I can’t.” With a tug to the weighted blanket, I slip out of his arms. Regret runs through me. Maybe just this once I could call in. It really has been a hard weekend.
But isn’t that how all your problems started?
You just asked for one more day to hide from them and it turned into a mess. “What am I going to wear?” The outfit from yesterday was only worn for a few hours.
“Check the closet. ”
Huh? I turn back to the bed where Vex has pushed up onto an elbow. It’s not right that a man can look that sexy without doing anything.
Don’t think about him like that.
You two aren’t dating.
He’s just been a nice guy taking care of you. Once you walk out the door that’s it, you’ll never see him again. “Huh?”
“Go check the closet.”
Why would I check the closet? This isn’t my house. My clothes didn’t suddenly appear out of thin air. “Huh?” Maybe it’s just my sleepy brain hearing things.
Vex grins. “Are you always this out of it first thing in the morning?”
“No.” But then I don’t usually wake up in a sexy stranger’s bed and wish I could climb right back in it.
“Just go look in the closet.” He points toward the closet I raided yesterday.
My foggy brain isn’t up for a complex discussion about why I can’t wear his clothing to work, so I just walk into his closet with my outfit from yesterday in hand.
What in the world?!?
There are dresses on one of the racks, as well as shirts and skirts.
None of those were there yesterday.
I’m losing my mind.
That’s it. I’ve got to be losing it. With everything that happened, this really is all a bad dream.
Except that is the green shirt I tried on yesterday. The lovely one that I would never ever wear.
What happened? How did all of this stuff get in here?
Vex!
He was talking privately with Crystal.
I stalk back into the bedroom.
Vex—the devious man—is leaning against the headboard, waiting for me with an expectant smirk .
“WHAT DID YOU DO?” Okay, that might have come out a bit louder than I would have liked… but only a bit.
“Made sure you have clothes.”
I don’t know what irks me more; the nonchalant tone he said that with, like it made total sense for him to do what he just did, or the fact that he bought me clothing when I explicitly said that I would pay for my own, or that everything in there looks amazing on me.
It’s totally the first two. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”
“Aren’t you worried about being late?”
Evil devious man. “This conversation isn’t over.” I storm back into the closet. The green shirt is way too tempting not to wear, but I grab a cardigan to cover up.
Thankfully, it’s cool enough that I can wear it without looking odd.
There are even matching shoes.
Do the drawers have anything in them?
I pull one open and find a selection of silk scarves and another of hose.
People still wear hose? Though these have some interesting patterns.
No. There’s no way I want people staring at my legs, but I run a finger across the silky material before closing the drawer. The next one holds underwear. Stacks and stacks of stunning underwear, but there isn’t a single bra… which isn’t unexpected. I take the new outfit through the now-empty bedroom and into the bathroom.
Are there new things in here too? I open a bottom cabinet to find all sorts of hair supplies, including a blow dryer. The other cabinet holds a couple of dozen different hair products and several different body washes.
There isn’t time for me to process all of this.
Just shove it into the corner of your mind. None of this is real. You’re going to go to work and real life will start again.
Everything is fine.
You’re fine.
Just shower and get ready for work .
This weekend was one long bad and sort of good dream combined.
You’re fine. Ignoring the tremble in my hands, I do what needs to be done.
***
Vex isn’t in the bedroom when I step out.
Maybe that’s a good thing. He’s left me alone to walk away without the awkwardness of saying thank you or goodbye.
This is it. I’m never going to see him again. And even though he deserves more than thank you cookies for all he did this weekend, even a ‘thanks a trillion’ turtle cake wouldn’t be enough, I’m not going to say thank you again.
There’s no other ending to this story but to walk away quietly. I grab my own purse, leaving the half-dozen stunning purses that showed up in the devious man’s closet.
Though it was tempting to take one as a beautiful memory of the man who cared for me.
But that wouldn’t make it right.
Phone in hand, I walk out of the bedroom door, ready for whatever the day has in store for me.
“Morning.”
I practically jump out of my skin. “Vex!”
“So, it takes you a while to wake up. Breakfast will help.”
Breakfast. I can’t eat breakfast. A meal negates the slinking out. How am I going to say thank you?
How am I going to say goodbye?
I can’t do this.
I can’t do this. It’s all pretend.
Goodbyes are real.
I can’t do this. But I have to .
The man I turn to find standing in the kitchen is devastatingly handsome. “I don’t eat breakfast.”
“So, you’ve said. But I don’t think anyone should go to work without eating a little something.”
Glaring at him would be wrong. Very wrong!
“What if I sweeten the deal?”
There’s nothing that makes breakfast better. “Oh?”
“You get this—” He lifts a steaming to-go cup. “—if you eat this.” And the other hand holds a plate with something green on it.
“Are you trying to con me into eating healthy food while I’m still mostly asleep?”
“More like bribe you. Is it working?” Vex moves closer. “The healthy food is avocado toast with pastrami, blueberries, and granola.”
“That sounds weird.” Very, very weird.
“It’s strangely delicious. I don’t cook very often, so you need to take advantage of one of the meals I do make.”
“Avocado toast doesn’t involve cooking. It’s more like preparing.” Interesting food tempts me more than it should.
“Don’t nitpick. Now, do you need to smell the cocoa, or are you going to be a good girl and eat your breakfast?”
“I hate breakfast. Does it really taste good?”
“Forest Explorer’s honor.”
There’s no way Vex was a Forrest Explorer. I giggle. “I still hate breakfast. And I’m really late for work. How about I just take the cup and leave you the green stuff?”
“No deal.” Vex moves the cocoa away. “One bite for one sip.”
My nose wrinkles. “I’m going to be late.” But I don’t want to leave either.
“That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.” He swirls the cocoa around.
“Has anyone told you that you’re devious and slightly evil?” We both know I’m going to cave.
“On a nice day. ”
“Well, they’d be right. Hand me the plate. But if I don’t like it, I’m spitting it out, regardless of how unladylike that is.”
“Duly noted.”
Who am I kidding? I’m not going to spit it out. My mother would know. She always knows when I do something wrong. The thick slice of bread is crusty and slightly warm. There’s a crunch from the granola and sweet but slightly acidic dressing. The salty and spicy pastrami balances out the creamy avocado. “That’s actually good.”
“I told you it was.”
“Were you really going to hold my cocoa hostage?”
His lips tip up. “Yup.”
“I’m still not sure about all those clothes.”
“You don’t need to be yet.”
Yet?!? I lift the toast to my mouth.
“Give me your phone while you eat.”
My phone?
“Dahlia, whatever this weekend was, I don’t want this to be the last time I see you.”
“You don’t?”
“No. I don’t. So, while you eat, I’m going to put my number in your phone. Then you’re going to go to work, and after that, I’m going to message you to make arrangements for us to see each other again.”
How do I respond to that? Yes, absolutely! I want to see you again. But what a smart person would do is walk out the door without a word.
Be practical. He’s a crime lord.
Be logical. You two would never work together.
Be smart. I slide the phone across the bar to him and take another bite.
Tomorrow… tomorrow, I’ll be all of those things. Today I want the impossible.