Cinnamon Toast
Dahlia
“Maybe we should go back and grab the pot of soup?”
“Dahl, stop worrying. Imogene doesn’t need your food.”
I know that. I really do.
What if she doesn’t like me?
What if I flinch when I see her?
What if I can’t handle this?
Vex stops, swinging around to face me. “We don’t need to do this. There’s nothing stopping us from turning around and going back. We could spend the rest of the day in bed with the pile of books you’ve yet to read. Or we could go to a bookstore and find some new books.”
“Don’t tease me.”
“No teasing involved. I’ll get all the books you want if you turn around and leave.”
He’s afraid for me.
And at that, all my nerves settle. Whatever happens today, I go home and fall asleep in this man’s arms, knowing he’ll protect me. “Thank you. ”
“You’re not taking my offer, are you?”
Vex isn’t getting away with not taking me to the bookstore. “Oh yes, I am. Saturday, you and I have a date at the bookstore.”
His lips tip up.
What would it feel like to kiss him when he’s smiling?
“Dahl. Don’t.”
“Well then, don’t read my mind.”
The elevator door opens, and the time for indecision is over. “Let’s do this.”
We’re up to Payne’s apartment in just a few moments. As the elevator comes to a stop, I grab Vex’s hand.
He gives it a squeeze and pulls me in closer.
If I hadn’t spent all that time at Vex’s apartment, Payne’s would have floored me. They seem to have the same designer who loves smooth metallics and dark colors.
“Hey.” Payne stands by the door.
But my eyes move past him, to the woman sitting on the couch watching us with haunted eyes. Is she anorexic or did he starve her? Because people aren’t naturally that thin.
Do not flinch. Do not show the fear that’s swirling in the pit of your belly. “Hi.” I wave to her, walking away from the men. “My name is Prue.”
“Imogene.” She tries to smile but fails.
“Do you like cinnamon?”
“Love it.” She glances at the container.
Instead of walking over to the kitchen, I sit down next to her, careful not to crowd her space. “Whenever I wasn’t feeling well, my mother made me cinnamon toast. It was just a little cinnamon and sugar on white bread. Nothing fancy. Nothing that should fix anything, but it worked every single time.”
“Is that what you brought me?”
“Absolutely not. But I did bring over the best cinnamon sugar bread that I’ve ever tasted, because if this much sugar doesn’t make you smile, nothing will.” I lift off the cover and the space fills with the warm, sweet scent.
“It smells good enough to make me believe you, but I’ve tasted some really amazing bread.”
And the gauntlet has been thrown down. “Oh really. This will ruin you for all other bread.”
“Impossible.” She tugs off a corner and pops it into her mouth. “Mmmmm” Imogene sinks back into the massive couch cushions.
Not to be left out of the sweet bliss, I take a piece too. It’s the perfect balance of light airy bread with a slightly crispy butter crust and gooey melted cinnamon sugar.
“When I was down there, I never thought I’d eat food like this again…”
***
“You look tired. We stayed there too long.” Vex does overprotective thunderous vibes well.
That’s because Imogene’s experience is enough mental load to take the energy out of anyone. I turn to him. “You saved her because of me.”
“Yeah.”
“If it were me, would you question how many minutes someone stayed with me to offer comfort?”
“Dahl.”
“Exactly. So I’ll give her as much time as she needs. But more than that, I liked her. She seems like a nice woman. Do you know how many friends I have?”
He shrugs. “No. You haven’t introduced me to any.”
“That’s because I don’t have any friends… well, Max might sorta be one. But it’s not the same having guy friends as it is having girl friends.”
“Why don’t you have any?”
It’s my turn to shrug mostly because I can’t answer that without explaining my teen years to him. Those are better forgotten.
“What about those two women that were at my club with you? ”
“We’re friendly, but… I don’t know. Maybe we’ll become friends eventually. That’s beside the point. You can never have enough friends, and I’d like Imogene to be one.”
Vex’s brow wrinkles.
“What do you disagree with?”
“Trusting people is a weakness. Being friends with people leaves you exposed.”
He’s right.
“Why haven’t you trusted people, Dahl?”
My therapist would say it’s some sort of learned trauma or distrust of myself. “Because it’s easier not to. And I’m lazy.”
“A woman that spends four hours making bread for a stranger is hardly lazy.”
“Even if she’s the same woman that plans to spend all of Sunday in bed reading?”
“How about we split our time between bed, the library, and my balcony?”
His balcony? “I didn’t see a balcony.”
“You didn’t exactly have a tour the last time.”
That means. “You have a library.”
Vex nods.
“Can we go see it now?”
“You sound like a kid asking to go out for ice cream.”
Ohhh. Ice cream sounds good too. “We could pick up ice cream on the way to your library.”
“Dahl, it’s nine at night, and you have to work tomorrow.”
The irritating man is right. “Party pooper.”
Vex chuckles, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “We could pick up ice cream on the way back and eat it in bed.”
“See, now that’s a good answer. Then we can spend the whole afternoon Saturday and most of Sunday exploring your library.” I would have suggested tomorrow, but if I don’t get to work packing, I’m never going to get it done. Where did I stick those suitcases ?
“Sounds like a plan.”
I should really tell Vex about next week, but not now. Right now, I need to decompress from the day with more sugar and safe arms.
Vex made me safe then, and he’s keeping me safe now.
“What do you think our lives would be like if we met each other as kids?” We could have dated all through high school and been that couple that everyone was jealous of. Vex might never have gotten his monicker.
“I’m glad we didn’t.”
There’s a resolute sadness in his voice. What happened when you were a child? Now isn’t the time to ask, but hopefully soon he’ll trust me enough to share. Will I ever be ready to share mine with him?
No.