Chapter 23 – Ryder
Twenty-Three
RYDER
Two days pass after sleeping with Carina in my arms, and I’ve avoided her as much as possible.
Entering my cabin that night cursed me. When she was crying, I longed to back away and avoid, simply for the suspicion of what my body would drive me to do. But it wasn’t the bond behind the reason for me continuing inside.
I went to her because I wanted to help.
Carrying her to my nest was my fuck it moment. For the forty-eight hours since meeting Carina, most of them were spent pretending she isn’t who fate handpicked for me, and I was tired. Tired of pretending, tired of fighting my wolf.
So I didn’t. I cared for her. I slept beside her.
Of course, my wolf wouldn’t shut up half the night. Repetitive thoughts of mine, comfort, mate, breed, and keep were the running theme, to the point I could only grip her tighter and protect her from her emotions, being the safety net she needed.
When the earliest dredges of morning hit, I had to get the fuck away from her mystical bubble before acting in ways I’d regret in a few more days. It was like tearing off my own arm, but I managed. I unwound myself from her and stalked away, leaving my would-be mate in our—my—nest to go hunting.
In the two days since, I’ve avoided camp during the day, even spending the nights taking extra and longer patrols or resting for a few hours beneath the moon before continuing to work.
Carina’s safe, which means that task is complete for now.
My limited interactions with her involve a head nod from across the camp when stopping to check in with others.
Avoiding her can only work so well, especially since Xander’s always there with updates, claiming she’s spending most of her time with Leah.
It’s better this way. In a few days, she’ll be gone, doing what she must for her people. I’ll attempt to free her when the time comes, and she can return home to be the coven kamahki she’s meant to be. Life will move on and we’ll never see one another again. All will be right.
“Ryder!” Claire’s joyful screech streaks through the woods as she charges through the underbrush with Xander on her heels.
She lunges at me, her little arms wrapping around my neck until she’s dangling from my body, feet an inch from the ground.
“Xander said he’s gonna run even faster than normal today because I hang on super well.
Like this!” And then she not only tightens her arms but sinks her hands into my fur, digging painfully in.
Xander comes up behind her, dipping his head in submission before she detaches from me to climb onto his back. Once settled, she waves goodbye, and the two are a blur into the woods.
Claire never got the chance to know her father—not that he’s anything worth knowing. As a pup, she’s loved and cared for by us all, like the other children, but the bond between her and Xander isn’t one to be ignored.
Eyeing my kill, I drag it by the hind leg back to camp to be dried out and prepared for winter. We’re already pretty well stocked—mainly from my lack of rest this week. I’ll be damned if anyone goes hungry during the harshest months, when hunting becomes challenging.
By the edge of the camp, a pile has been set up, guarded from other wildlife by Graham. I drop the creature, acknowledge him, and then take off into the woods.
When returning with another, Graham stops me from leaving. “Alpha, don’t take this the wrong way, but you haven’t stopped moving in a day. Maybe you should head inside. See your father, have a nap.”
I’ve visited with Dad in my two days of avoidance, stopping in after everyone’s gone to bed. He’s taken the second pain potion since, but it hasn’t hindered the magick from keeping him down.
During those same short trips, I risk a peek inside my cabin, simply to reassure myself she’s asleep in my bed and not the chair. When she’s gone, it’ll take months, if not longer, to air the cabin of her trace. Hopefully a winter inside the caves will give me the much-needed distance.
I growl at Graham’s insinuation that I should obey his orders to return to camp. Camp means she’s there.
Yet, after another kill and another look of disappointment from the older man, I cross the threshold. Perhaps it’s the midday sun beaming down, keeping the afternoon warm for this time of year, or because I’ve worked up exhaustion for being out nonstop the past six hours.
Carina’s peel of laughter draws my attention to the centre of camp where she’s seated with Leah, Holly, and Miriam, another pack female. The three are sorting apples into wooden crates that’ll make it easier to lug them to the caves later this week.
Leah’s presence is expected, but Holly’s draws me to a stop.
As one of a few unmated females with no pups in the pack, she prefers patrols above camp-related tasks and has very little patience for others.
Seeing her sitting in one place is somewhat short of a miracle.
Miriam is another mother, one who was terrified of Carina in the beginning.
My chest burns when I look at Carina. She’s laughing at something Miriam said as she organizes the fruit. For the first time since meeting her, she doesn’t appear tense but…calm. Every so often, she flicks strands of dark hair away from her face, letting me see how sunlight makes her glow.
A whimper builds in my throat. She’s…beautiful.
I thought it the first time we met, and I think it every time I see her.
But it’s more than her face and body—it’s her.
Her soul. Her heart. The heart that has her still here, even when petrified of her future.
The heart having her complete tasks for a group she’s not a part of.
The coven princess, the kamahki, who resides within a town, a house with insulated and proper walls, mowed front lawns, and electricity, is seated on the log as though she’s content. As though this is where she’s supposed to be.
She is.
Suddenly, Holly glances up and spots me. Her smirk is slow building but ignorable as I carry on, heading for my cabin to get changed.
Carina’s sweet and heady scent slams me like normal. The walls are caked in her, as well as the chairs, the fucking table, and especially my bed. Her bag of clothes has found a place beside my chest of clothing, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
I pull on jeans and brace for a repeat of my entrance into camp—prepare to see her—and to not trail the sweet scent of her from my nest to where she’s sitting. Head down, I start towards Dad’s cabin without looking at the trio.
But then Holly shouts, “Hey, Alpha! Get over here!”
Slaughtering one of my own sounds like a pretty good afternoon activity.
Ignoring her would make my avoidance too obvious. So, gritting my teeth, I head over to the group. Miriam waves while Leah grins up at me. Carina, by all accounts, pretends to ignore me, but the slight stiffening of her shoulders tells me she’s as aware of me as I am of her.
“What?” I direct my question to Holly.
“Good hunt?”
“Fine.” My attention shifts to the left, where Leah’s rolling an apple between her palms. “Xander and Claire passed me. She’s excited because he’ll be taking her on a faster run, so later when she returns with a bump on her head, you know who to blame.”
“Might make her sleep better.” Glancing over to Miriam, she asks, “Help me carry the full ones to storage?”
The two start preparing to leave, but before anyone lifts anything, Carina flicks a finger. The full crates levitate three feet off the ground, a light blue mist emerging from the ground to keep them elevated.
“Steer them in the direction you need. When you’re happy, put your hand on top and push down lightly.”
Leah whistles in appreciation. “Thanks.”
Once they’re gone, Holly leaps to her feet. “I should be off as well. Bye, Alpha. Good chat, Carina.”
They’re not as subtle as they all think they are.
Carina carries on ignoring me, staring at the apples like they’ll solve all her problems. When she’s down to one left, she pauses.
Her eyes flick up, first to my feet, and then they travel the length of my body.
Violet eyes darken in interest before she stares past me, the grinding of her teeth reaching my ears.
“Haven’t seen you around in a while.”
Guilt is a barb wire around my nerves, stinging even as I rub the back of my neck. “Been busy. Things to do before winter.”
She grunts and turns onto her knees, reaching for the crate’s lid. “I should take this to Leah. See you around.”
My wolf mourns her purple eyes—as do I. The wolf wants her attention. The man wants to see her happy.
With the same spell, she levitates the crate and goes to walk away. Her distance isn’t anything compared to mine this week, but it’s nothing I’ll stand for either.
Suddenly, believing my avoiding her did anything to the bond is stupid. Avoiding her was to ensure there was no attachment between us before Twilight Grove came, but all it did was make me mourn her company—make me miss her.
Her curiosity.
Her smile.
Her attitude.
She’s impossible to ignore when her very being, her presence, is in my fucking bloodstream.
My hand reaches for her wrist, hauling her back around with a gulp of air we both hear her take but ignore. She could pull away if she wants to, and I could release her, but neither of us make motion to.
My offer rests on my tongue, ready to kill the hurt I put in her striking eyes. To see her smile again, like she was earlier. “I’m going to the caves, if you’d like to join me.”
Hope covers her apprehension, and the start of a smile that has the ability to become my everything creeps onto her face. It’s killed quickly with narrowing eyes. “Are you fucking with me?”
“Why would I?”
I eye her clothing of leggings, hiking boots, and a thick buttoned-up cardigan; she’s dressed appropriately for the trip. She’s fifty percent town girl and fifty percent camper, and it’s a cute mix that’s entirely ideal for the weather, setting, and all that is Carina.
Her lips purse as she extracts herself from me. “No reason, I guess. We’re going now?”
Gesturing, I have her follow to the opposite side of the camp where we slip out behind a row of cabins most of the people of Dad’s generation reside in.
I lead her into the patch of woods and towards the mountain directly in front of us.
It’s close enough there’s no point in shifting, if only to have the ability to talk to her.
A few minutes pass and the short pants she occasionally releases as I attempt to direct her through the simplest path makes me smirk.
Around the next patch of greenery, I hold limbs aside for her to step beneath, she asks, “Have you really been busy or have I—?” Her teeth sink into her bottom lip and her steps increase.
“Have you what? Finish that,” I bite, cutting into her path. She shouldn’t be so scared she won’t speak her mind.
“Do you hate me? You haven’t been around since that night, when you held a…a witch in your arms.
Oh. My wolf growls in warning to not fuck this up. For making her have such beliefs. “I wouldn’t have gone near you if I hated you being a witch. I kept busy for other reasons.”
For reasons you can never know.
But of course, my curious n?kak?stis blinks up at me. “Such as?”
“They’re not important.” I gesture for her to continue walking. “The terrain gets rocky, so be careful.”
“Er,” she mumbles. “Rockier. It’s already rocky.”
“Only to someone who doesn’t leave her house.”
She rolls her eyes, the playfulness brushing aside the turbulence from camp. “Witches enjoy nature.”
“But not camping.”
“Alright, you’re right.”
And yet, your dreams are to leave town.
She falls silent for a short bit, focusing on the uneven ground. I fall into step beside her, ready to catch her if she stumbles. More minutes pass with only her huffs, and I find myself missing her voice.
“Heard you’ve been hanging out with Leah.”
“Checking up on me?” She glances to the right, only for her foot to roll off a rock, and she stumbles into my side.
I catch her with an arm around her waist, keeping her upright. Even when she’s steady on her feet, I opt to not let go, using my speed to propel us faster, giving a reason to maintain my hold.
“I’m Alpha. Alphas care for the pack, whether guest or resident. Given your proximity to Leah—who’s spent most of her life terrified of you guys—she’s gotten some of them warmed up to the idea of you.”
Her breath is warm on my chest, her hair silk against my shoulder as she tips her head to look at me, sending a wave of chilling possessiveness through me—only I should ever be able to feel her this way.
“She’s been great. Claire is the sweetest. Also, does Leah realize Xander is utterly head over heels in love with her? ”
My loud bark of laughter scatters a bird nearby. Xander’s always been so damn obvious, but he denies feeling anything other than friendship. “They’re the only ones who don’t recognize their feelings for one another. One day, I imagine he’ll realize he’s being an idiot and take her as his mate.”
“Will she have an option, or will it be forced?”
Fuck, is that what she thinks of us? I try to think of the past few days, of what could give her that idea.
“Of course.”
She exhales, and something about her worry for the others just gets me.
Thankfully, the entrance to the caves comes into view, and with a deep inhale of my witch, I show her what could be her home in the winter.
If life was different.