Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
RYDER
The edge my sanity barely clings to is so ridiculously sharp, all it’d take is the gentlest breeze to knock me off.
Having my mate—no matter how unwanted or unplanned, and regardless that she’s a different species—unclaimed in a place where so many threats exist has me ready to snap into a billion fucking pieces and rebuild us both into a cage to keep her safe.
How the fuck am I supposed to let her go in a few short days, knowing she’s walking into danger?
Regardless that informing Carina about our fate-chosen bond will be the literal last thing I’ll ever do, I’m not doing a good job at hiding it. Not with how I haven’t let her wrist go, keeping her no further than an arm’s length away. Nor how I’m growling at every person who looks our way.
Most are frightened of her—or of what she’s making me capable of. Some are curious, but they’re still irritating. Others desire her.
Witch or not, male shifters adore sex. Mating.
Like Jace’s attempt, she’d be the forbidden and untouchable conquest for any one of them.
Putting aside the fact that my little priestess is sexy as fuck, and the oversized hoodie hiding her frame only makes them more curious about what’s underneath—even though that it’s my clothing she’s in.
Many, I now realize, don’t care. She’s a witch, therefore not a chosen mate, so no matter my claim on her, they all think it’s merely a threat and not a fact.
How little do they know.
Holly and Conan, sensing my agitation, have taken up sentry on either side of us, and Xander’s doing my job of mingling with the others, while still remaining close. The rest of the pack is spread out.
Carina leans into my arm, pushing her chin into my shoulder. “Who’s that shifter who continues to stare at me like I’m something to be dissected?”
It’s like she’s testing my resolve; wanting to see me go off on another one of my kind.
“Who?” I turn my head, passing over the numerous people looking at her. The better question would have been which one isn’t.
She bends into my arm, appearing like she’s snuggling me. She puts an arm across my stomach and pokes a finger out to point in a direction I follow, genuinely surprised.
“Callum. He’s the Alpha of Hightooth Pack outside Vancouver.”
He’s been Alpha since he challenged his way to the win fifteen years ago. There have been no murmurings of discontent from the pack since. He’s unmated but has never shown an interest in taking a woman.
A snarl parts my lips, but he doesn’t take the warning. His eyes never move from her, but unlike the others, it’s not lust or death in his gaze.
Either way, sick of his attention on her, I turn her to face another direction. “Don’t worry about him.”
Her responding nod is quickly taken by a large yawn that ends on a small chuckle. “I’m exhausted. It’s late, isn’t it?”
“Couple hours past midnight, yeah.” The sky above is pitch black, the stars a scattering of twinkling lights. The temperature is near freezing without the sun, and the clearing has become an area of white clouds puffed from everyone’s breath. “We’re almost done.”
“Might not make it home.” Another yawn, this time sending her stumbling into my side.
I keep her upright, signalling to Xander. “Gather everyone. We’re done here. Carina’s tired.”
“Just like that, huh?” Holly winks but before I have a chance to yell at her, she disappears to help.
“Don’t. I’m fine. Tired, but I’ll make it. It’s your thing; I’m not even supposed to be here. Worst case, I’ll find a tree to nap on ’til you’re done.”
Like that’ll fucking happen.
With my arm around her waist, I turn her towards the exit.
Her steps are sluggish, making me wonder how long she’s been tired but hiding it.
We wait for the others to gather before quickly shifting, packing, and then starting off.
Carina’s on my back and Holly remains beside me to watch her.
It isn’t long before she whines to gain my attention and then briefly shuts her eyes, which I take to mean Carina has fallen asleep.
It’s another few kilometres before Carina’s grip loosens and her body weight begins sliding down my side. I slam to an abrupt stop before she can be hurt, shifting to human form to catch her.
“Whoa.” She rubs her eyes, leaning heavily on me. “Think I fell asleep.”
We still have hours until we reach camp, and I curse myself for not thinking any of this through. Of course, she has greater sleep needs than us and wouldn’t have made it the entire trip. Now, it’s the middle of the night, freezing, and there’s a partially asleep woman relying on me.
“Go on,” I order the others. “We’ll see you in the morning.”
The others take off, and Conan drops the bag my shorts are inside to the ground. Xander lingers until last, but I ignore the amused look present even through the fur and snout.
“What’s happening?” she mumbles, yawning into my chest.
“We’ll spend the night in a nearby cave.”
“No, I’ll be fine on your back. You probably don’t want to sleep out here all night.” She pushes into my side to straighten, but her partially lowered lids and pale skin is enough to be concerning.
“I don’t care where we sleep, as long as you’re not passing out on my back. It’s not safe.”
“I’ll be fine,” she repeats around another yawn, undoing all her work to convince me otherwise.
Ignoring her, I walk her east, to where there’s a cave not usually inhabited by other life. We’ve used it on the occasional trip, though we’re not on our territory.
She’s a bit slow so I swing her up into my arms bridal style, trying to ignore the way she fits perfectly. In my hoodie, in my arms, her hair spread on my bicep while making my chest her pillow… It’s a sight to relive when she’s gone.
I reach the cave and rest her on the ground outside before ensuring inside is animal-free. Then I carry her in, reaching the furthest end possible. There isn’t a place to make a fire, and the cave isn’t very recessed, but it is shelter until the sun rises so we can complete the trip.
She makes a noise when I lower to the ground, taking the furthest corner from the entrance and place her between me and the wall. I pull the hood over her head and curl her legs into my side to give her the best chance to stay warm.
She mumbles sleepily and a finger flicks straight from the sleeve. Suddenly, heat settles upon my shoulders like a blanket resting. “A charm.”
I hate magick because now it doesn’t give me as good a reason to hold her, but until she demands being released, I won’t.
“I can shift. My fur will warm you.”
“Mm, no.” She buries her face into my neck and breathes deeply; every little act is a step away from sanity. “Stay. This is perfect.”
Assuming she’s passed back out, I let my head fall against the wall beside hers, only planning to partially rest. Wolves will sense me and stay away, but foxes and bears might be tempted, and I’ll be damned if she’s in any sort of danger tonight.
So when she speaks, I’m not only startled to find her awake, but torn by what she chooses to say. “Only a day left. I’m scared, Ryder. The ways in which we turn Dark…that’s what I’m frightened of. I won’t be me any longer.”
Her face turns into my neck, and it’s not that action that breaks me, but the single tear dripping down her cheek.
That tiny drop snares me with the most precarious spell possible and before I fully understand my actions, I return her to my lap but rearrange her legs on either side of me.
Like this, she’s seated on me, her core pressed against my cock, her chest covered by my hoodie, and her head over my heart.
I don’t give a fuck about the wolf whining in pleasure. This is all for her, not us.
My arms band her waist, a hand to the back of her head, and I hug her tight enough she’ll feel me long after Twilight Grove comes; the same way my soul will always remember her. Her breaths match the beat of my heart, and I count each one, listening for the hitch.
“It’s okay to cry.”
She brings a hand up to wipe her face, but I block her, doing the task myself. And when my thumb is littered with her shiny tears, I bring it up to my mouth to taste that small piece of her I’m able to call mine.
“Crying is a weakness,” she recites.
My hand tightens around her back. “Where’d you get that stupid idea?”
“Mom. She’s all about showing strength to the coven.”
Her mother can go die for all I care. Right now, any witch that isn’t Carina can burn.
“That’s bullshit, and even you know it. Emotions are strength, and tears are emotion. Bearing the weight of grief is the most difficult thing imaginable. Fuck your mother.”
She huffs her laughter, which starts undoing the knot in my chest. “Yeah, well, when agreeing to do this, it was with Mom and the coven in consideration. Now that we’re approaching the end of the week…
” She tips her head up, her eyes—a crushed purple flower—clashing with mine.
“I won’t regret this when your father’s healthy, or after learning what their plan is, but I still worry. ”
“I told you; you’re getting out of there. I’ll make sure of it.”
She turns her face back into my shoulder and everything else seems to melt away.
Until she speaks.
“Don’t risk the pack. What happened tonight will already raise questions.”
What happened tonight was a surge of protectiveness and possessiveness never felt before. Slaughtering Jace before hauling her away to mate her would have been a better outcome.
“Sleep, kamahki,” I demand, more for my wellbeing than hers. “Feel what you need to feel. It’ll be okay.”
I’d hide her if I could—if she’d allow me. I’d sacrifice Dad if it meant saving her. It’s a hard and unacceptable reality.
In the final dredges of awareness, she mumbles, “Why do you feel like home? Like this is where I was always meant to be.”
I wait until her breathing evens out and her hold on me loosens as sleep takes her to a better place before replying.
“Because it is.”