Chapter 37 – Ryder
Thirty-Seven
RYDER
When an Alpha dies, the pack hunts in their honour.
Every fit member is spread across the mountains, intending to put together a feast that’ll later be enjoyed.
Unlike humans, we don’t host vigils or burials.
We honour lives by continuing to live: celebrating with food and stories of the deceased and later laying them to rest on a pyre.
We’re an hour into the hunt that’s been required to clear my head of not only the grief and my new reality, but my ending with Carina. With my wolf out, it’s the mortal side keeping him contained to the hunt and not rushing back to Banff, demanding the coven hand his mate over.
Although I usually take no pride in hurting other creatures within the woods, today, I do.
Today, it’s needed. Based on the looks from Holly, Conan, and Xander, they understand.
None of them questioned me when returning from dropping Carina off.
No one asked where she went, though Xander made a comment that he saw her before she went searching.
The moon shines above, lighting a path as we run through the woods. It’s times like now, when I’m able to let go and just be, that things feels a bit better.
Only a bit.
Another hour passes before gesturing with my snout in the direction of the camp—though we’re far away—indicating to the others to wrap it up.
We’ll take what we have back home and celebrate my father for the remainder of the night—but suddenly another scent catches on the breeze. One I’m positive is in my head.
She can’t this be stupid.
Xander pauses too, his nose twitching in the air, head swivelling north. He glances at me, then back into the trees, a noise in his throat.
I growl, threatening him to back down—that he is to not go near her—and he responds with lowered ears. I nudge him with my nose in his flank, instructing him to follow the others. Then I turn in the direction of my n?kak?stis mate, finding her by the lake we met at.
She’s alone, standing with her hands clasped together as she gazes at the pond, which ripples occasionally on the breeze. It’s a picture of utter peace, all while a mess brews within me.
Claim.
Mate.
Keep.
She has to leave. Now.
Claim.
I scratch the forest floor.
She was gone, out of my life for good. Safe from the bond.
Mate.
I can’t fight her anymore.
She must leave…because if she doesn’t, my wolf won’t be reined in.
Keep.
For all the earlier reasons, she must go home and hide herself behind a barrier. For all the reasons I had when first learning what she is, we can’t do this.
Hunger ignites on my tongue, jaws opening, salivating. Her scent passes over my tongue. The wolf is hungry for its mate.
I stalk forward, purposely stepping on a stick to gain her attention.
She gulps, turning, except she has no reason to be nervous…yet.
No, I force the human side of me to remember reality, but the wolf snaps to shut up. No, I can’t do this. If I fuck her, instincts will kick in. It won’t only be sex; it’ll be a claiming. I’ll bite her, fuse the bond, and then she’ll be tied to me for the rest of her life.
I’ll feel what she does. Fear, anxiety, pleasure, happiness—everything will be mine.
I’ll keep her. She’ll stay in my cabin, my cave, my nest. She’ll give me pups and rule the pack and the coven.
No, I urge the wolf. Do not do this.
It’s damning us both to a life of heartache.
Of two sides unwillingly attached. And from her side, it’ll be very unwilling.
Witches aren’t like shifters; they don’t have mates—she confirmed that.
No mates, no instincts. My claim wouldn’t automatically mean she’ll want me, and once my bite is on her neck, there’s no going back for me.
I have to walk away now.
Instead, she starts my way.
A whine mixed with a growl attempts to stop her—and fails.
Claim.
Mate.
Keep.
The wolf is in control, and even shifting back to speak with her is useless. I can’t keep this up. Can’t keep avoiding her when she continues placing herself in my path.
No longer want to.
When she’s within reaching distance, I shift from wolf to man, while retaining animalistic qualities. My hands, claws still extended, cuff her upper arms to drag her against my body. Her feminine warmth has my cock stiffening between us.
“Why. The fuck. Are you here? Carina, fucking Christ, I carried you home myself. You need to leave right now.”
There’s no fear. There’s nothing in her eyes…except concern. She traces my face to my shoulders and down the arms connecting me to her. “Ryder, you’re shaking.”
Because I’m fighting everything to not put you on your knees.
“Because I’m fuckin’ pissed. I’ve told you why you can’t be here. Fuck the covens, fuck the war. I’m telling you right now, you have about two minutes to leave, or I won’t be able to hold back.” I no longer want to fight this.
Her brows dive between her eyes. “Hold back from what?”
She still smells like me. Her mouth, while no longer swollen from our kiss—something I vow to rectify—is tainted with the scent of my own, and I make a silent promise to lick every inch of her until I’m all she smells like.
“You’re breathing heavy.” She stretches for my pec, but I swat her hand away.
Of course, I’m breathing heavy. I’m about to change both of our lives.
She can’t touch me until I officially damn us both.
Claiming her would damn my people. When Twilight Grove comes for her, I’ll fight for her, and thus drag them all into a lost cause, all to keep her safe.
I can keep her safe. The realization hits enough that when she reaches again, the energy spent fighting her wanes. By claiming her, I’ll know precisely where she is at all times. My senses will be attuned to her. I can bring her home, which is what I’ve been promising from the beginning.
Her hand lightly traces up my chest, my shoulder, my neck, and cups the side of my face. Without fear, her thumb slips between my lips and pokes at my incisors. “It’s always so strange, seeing you partially shifted.”
I nip her finger in both sexual playfulness and warning. “Tell me the truth. Why are you here?”
“Because as I was telling Mom everything, I realized when Twilight Grove arrives, you won’t be able to protect everyone, caves or otherwise.
They’re all innocent in this fight, and with the pups, the elders, and Leah unable to shift…
I couldn’t risk it. I tried to convince Mom to bring you all within the enchantment’s boundary, but she’s concerned about the politics of it.
When she didn’t immediately agree, I decided the potential of so many lives being harmed wasn’t worth it.
” She inhales sharply before launching on, as though everything she’s said so far hasn’t been breaking me.
“Ryder, I had to come back. If you don’t let me stay inside the camp, then I’ll wait outside until Sloane comes, to ensure I’m all they take. ”
Red clouds my vision. My claws unlatch enough to loosen my grip on her arms. I can do nothing but stare as the ground vibrates beneath my feet, the cavern between us disappearing. All I can do is stare and admire the woman that the earth, nature, fate, perhaps even their Goddess, has given me.
The woman who didn’t come back for me. She returned to protect the others, to keep them safe from those who’d harm them. And she’s right; a group of witches yielding two kinds of magick isn’t a force we can handle, even if admitting that is a hit to my pride.
And that…is everything.
A pack comes only second to a mate. And Carina Hargrove has just made herself both to me.
“That, kamahki, was your greatest mistake.”
Sense and sanity no longer exist. Telling this woman what she’s about to endure isn’t on my mind. Instincts I’ve been fighting for days take over. Body and soul, I’m lost to her, where she’s all I see, smell, and hear.
To claim her.
To mate her.
To keep her.
And most important: to keep her safe from harm.
By my body, blood, and wolf, Carina will be safe. Her wants, her needs, her pleasure, and her safety—all mine. I’ll never give them back.
My hand dives into her hair, and I yank her against me, forcing her head backwards until her neck is bared in submission. My gums throb, claws skate up her backside, over the ass I dreamed of ever since the first time she slept against me.
“This is your last chance,” I mumble her into her throat.
“You walk away now, or you don’t walk away at all.
I’m fuckin’ you, Carina, and then there is no other choice for you but me.
I am your Alpha.” Your mate. “Which means I own your obedience, your submission, your body, and every ounce of your fuckin’ sparkling strength. ”
“I want you,” she breathes, completely unaware of what she’s just agreed to.
But the wolf doesn’t care.
And neither do I.