11. Nikolai
11
Nikolai
Her words hang in the air, brittle and sharp, as though saying them aloud can somehow make them true. There is no us, Nikolai. There can’t be.
I watch her, taking in the way her chest rises and falls with each shallow breath, the defiance blazing in her eyes despite the tremor in her voice. She’s trembling—not from fear, not even from anger, but from the weight of it all. Of us.
She’s wrong, though. There is an us. There has been from the moment I saw her after her father’s funeral, proud and brave and strong, unbowed despite her grief and pain. Or maybe it was the moment she faced me at her engagement party, all fire and fury, blue eyes flashing. Or maybe it was when I caught her in my arms at the Halloween party and spent the evening getting to know each other without pretense or preconceptions… There’s been something between us for a while, she just doesn’t want to admit it.
“You’re not a coward, Sabina,” I say, my voice low, steady.
Her head snaps up, her eyes narrowing. “What—?”
“You’re lying to me,” I cut her off, stepping closer, my voice dropping into a rough whisper. “Worse than that, you’re lying to yourself because being honest carries ramifications.”
Her lips part, her breath catching, and I can see the denial forming on her tongue, ready to strike like a blade. But she doesn’t say it. She just stares at me, the silence between us stretching taut, electric.
“I don’t lie to myself,” she finally says, but the words lack conviction, trembling under the weight of my gaze.
I step even closer, invading her space, forcing her to tip her head back to meet my eyes.
“You do, Sabina. You’re lying to yourself right now. You feel this…” My hand brushes her wrist, lingering just long enough for her to feel the heat of my skin. “And you hate how much you want it.”
Her pulse is racing—I can see it in the way her throat moves, feel it in the tension humming through her body. She’s fighting this, fighting me, but it’s a losing battle.
“I don’t want you,” she says, but the words are hollow, breaking on the edges of her resolve.
“Liar.”
The word falls between us like a challenge, and something in her snaps.
“Do you think you can just stand there and say whatever you want, and I’ll fall at your feet?” she demands, her voice trembling with fury. “Do you think I’m some weak, foolish girl who doesn’t see exactly what you’re doing?”
I smile, slow and wicked, because I know her fire, her defiance, and I know what’s hiding beneath it.
“No,” I say, my voice soft but unyielding. “I don’t think you’re foolish. And I definitely don’t think you’re weak. I think you’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. But that strength doesn’t scare me, Sabina. It draws me in. Makes me want you more.”
Her breath hitches, her eyes flashing with a mix of fury and something darker, something she doesn’t want to name.
“You don’t get to want me,” she spits. “You don’t get to walk into my life and—”
“And what?” I interrupt, my voice rising just enough to cut through hers. “Ruin it? Turn it upside down? Take it for my own?” I take another step, closing the space between us until she’s pressed back against the edge of the couch. “You’re right. I don’t get to want you, Sabina. But I do. I have for months now, and it’s not going away. Every time I see you, I want to claim you.”
She’s trembling now, her breath shallow, her hands gripping the back of the couch as if it’s the only thing keeping her standing.
“This isn’t fair,” she whispers, her voice breaking.
“Nothing about us is fair,” I say, my voice softening, though the intensity behind it doesn’t waver. “But it’s real. You feel it. I know you do.”
Her eyes glisten, her jaw tightening as she fights whatever war is raging inside her. And I see it—the moment she stops fighting, the moment the walls crack and crumble, leaving her exposed, raw, and breathtakingly beautiful.
Before she can say another word, I reach out, cupping her jaw in my hand, tilting her face up to mine. Her skin is soft, warm, and when her eyes meet mine, there’s no anger left, only a fragile, dangerous kind of surrender.
“I don’t want to want you,” she whispers, her voice trembling.
“But you do want me,” I murmur, leaning in, my lips brushing against hers, barely a whisper of contact.
“I can’t,” she whispers, pulling away.
“You can,” I say.
I lift her left hand, trace the tip of my finger along her naked ring finger. “You’re no longer engaged.”
“No,” she whispers.
“Good.” And then I pull her against me and take her in a hard kiss, claiming the woman who is mine.
It’s not gentle. It’s not careful. It’s a clash of heat and hunger, of everything we’ve been holding back for far too long. Her hands grip my shirt, her nails digging into my chest as she pulls me closer, her lips parting beneath mine with a soft, breathless sound that makes my pulse roar in my ears.
The fire crackles behind us, its warmth nothing compared to the heat of her body against mine. I deepen the kiss, my hand sliding to her waist, pulling her closer until there’s no space left between us.
She moans into my mouth, and the sound shatters what little control I have left. I lift her effortlessly, her legs wrapping around my waist as I carry her toward the bedroom.
She doesn’t protest, doesn’t pull away. If anything, she holds on tighter, her lips trailing fire along my jaw, my neck, driving me to the brink of madness.
By the time we reach the bed, I know there’s no turning back. Not now. Not ever.
And I don’t want to.
Not with her.
She pulls back, eyes wide,. Then she turns her face away, my warrior goddess, fighting to the last breath.
I cup her cheek and turn her face to me once more.
Her lips part, trembling, and I see the exact moment she realizes there’s no escape—not from this, not from me. Her fire, her anger, it only fuels the storm raging inside me. I close the distance between us, tilting her face up to mine. The heat of her skin burns against my palm, a stark contrast to the chill that still clings to the air.
“Sabina,” I murmur, my voice rough and low, “stop fighting me.”
Her breath hitches, her eyes flashing with defiance even as her body arches closer to mine. “I’m not fighting you, Nikolai,” she whispers, her voice trembling but bold. “I’m fighting myself.”
Her words shatter the last shred of control I have.
I capture her lips with mine, the kiss hard and claiming. She stiffens for a heartbeat, her nails biting into my chest, but then she melts against me, her hands fisting in my shirt as she pulls me closer. I feel her surrender in the way her body presses against mine, the way her lips part to let me in, the way she gasps into my mouth like she’s been waiting for this as long as I have.
I pull her closer, my hands sliding down her back, over the curve of her ass. Her soft moan vibrates against my lips, sending a jolt of heat straight to my cock. My fingers tighten on her buttocks, squeezing, kneading, desperate to feel more, to claim her in every way.
She pulls back just enough to catch her breath, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen.
“You’re impossible,” she whispers, her voice shaky but fierce.
“And you’re irresistible,” I growl, my mouth moving to her jaw, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down her neck. Her head tilts back, her breath hitching as I find the sensitive spot just beneath her ear.
“Nikolai,” she breathes, my name a plea, a command.
“I’ve wanted you like this,” I rasp against her skin, “for far too long.”
I slide my hands to her thighs, lifting her effortlessly. Her legs wrap around my waist, the heat of her body searing through the thin fabric separating us. I carry her to the bed, my movements deliberate, unhurried, every step echoing the inevitability of what’s about to happen.
I lay her down, my hands on either side of her head, my arms caging her. Her hands are in my hair, her nails scraping my scalp, and the sensation sends a shiver of pleasure through me. I trail my lips down her throat, my teeth grazing her skin just enough to make her arch beneath me.
“You’re mine, Sabina,” I murmur, my voice rough with possession. “Say it.”
Her eyes meet mine, wide and filled with a mix of desire and defiance. “I belong only to myself,” she whispers, but the tremor in her voice betrays her.
I smirk, my lips brushing over hers. “Liar.”
I kiss her again, deeper this time, pouring every ounce of want, of need, into the connection. She responds in kind, her hands roaming over my back, pulling me closer, urging me on.
I slide my hands beneath her sweatshirt, the heat of her skin branding me as I push the fabric up and over her head. Her body is perfect—soft, strong, everything I’ve dreamed of. I take a moment to drink her in, her gorgeous tits, the dip of her waist, the way her chest rises and falls with each ragged breath.
“You’re beautiful,” I say, my voice thick with reverence.
She huffs a soft laugh, but it turns into a gasp as my lips find the swell of her breast, my tongue tracing the curve before I take her nipple into my mouth. I lick her gently, then suck, a hard tugging pull. Her back arches, her hands clutching at my shoulders, and the sound she makes is enough to undo me.
I tease her, sucking, licking, taking her nipple between my teeth and biting just hard enough to make her gasp. I take my time, playing with her tits, pinching her nipples, and when she’s gasping, breathless, I trail my kisses lower, my hands tugging at the waistband of her sweatpants, sliding them down her legs. She’s completely bare before me now, her skin flushed and glowing in the firelight, and I feel a surge of triumph, of awe.
“Sabina,” I say, my voice unsteady for the first time.
She meets my gaze, her lips parting, her eyes softening. “Nikolai,” she whispers, and there’s no anger, no defiance in her tone now—only need.
I slide my hands up her thighs, parting them as I settle between them. I press a kiss to the inside of her knee, then another, then the inside of her thigh, working my way up, savoring the way her breath hitches, the way her body tenses beneath me. I’ll take my time, be gentle. For her, I can be gentle just this once.
I kiss my way up her thighs to her cunt. I pause, looking up at her. Her eyes are locked on mine, wide and needy, her pupils dilated and dark, her lips trembling.
“I want to hear you, Sabina,” I say, my voice low and commanding. “Every gasp, every moan, every word. You fucking scream for me, goddess.”
Her chest rises and falls in shallow breaths, her body arching toward me in silent invitation.
“Then stop fucking talking,” she says, her voice shaky but bold.
I smirk, watching her as I force her legs wider apart, holding them there, offering her nowhere to hide. The scent of her arousal is fucking ambrosia. I want to devour her, brand her, own her, body and soul.
I lean in to press a kiss against her pussy, my tongue circling her clit, then sliding along her slit. She whimpers and I lick her clit again, pushing my tongue against the sensitive bud. I slide my tongue along her wet folds, again, again, my hands holding her upper thighs, keeping her pinned as she strains against my hold.
She cries out as I tease her, licking and sucking, taking her higher, but never high enough, holding her poised at the edge of the cliff. She is mine to play with, mine to enjoy. Her hands fist in the quilt and her body trembles beneath me.
“Oh, my god, Nikolai.” She moans, her hips arching and pumping.
I take my time, learning every inch of her, every sound she makes, until she’s trembling beneath me, her moans filling the room. My cock is diamond hard, throbbing, and each pass of my tongue along her slit, each time I suck her sweet clit, each sound she makes winds me tighter.
She’s fucking perfect.
I fucking love the way she tastes, the way she sounds.
I push a finger into her cunt, so fucking tight and wet.
I seal my lips on her clit, swirling my tongue, pressing hard as I pump my finger in and out.
Her hips twitch and pump. I slide a second finger in to join the first, licking her clit, swirling my tongue while I fuck her with my fingers.
She comes with a scream, her body writhing, her fingers tangled in my hair.
I climb back up, capturing her lips in a kiss that’s both tender and possessive. Her taste on my tongue, and now on hers.
“I’m not done with you,” I murmur against her lips.
Her laugh is breathless, her eyes shining with challenge. “Good.”
I catch her hands, lacing her fingers with my own, lifting her arms above her head, pinning them there, my weight atop her, pressing down on her.
She makes a little mew of surrender, of need. She likes that, and fuck me, so do I.
I push the head of my cock against her opening, pumping in just a little, letting her feel the size and width, stretching her, teasing her. Fuck, she’s hot, slick, tight, her body made for me.
I grit my teeth, holding back, determined to be gentle, to be kind.
“Don’t,” she whispers.
I freeze, unsure what she means. I look down to see her watching me, her eyes heavy lidded, her lips swollen and pink.
“Don’t hold back,” she clarifies, her voice hoarse with desire. “Fuck me the way you want. The way I want you to.”
It’s all the invitation I need.
I push inside her, rough, hard, the feeling incredible. She gasps, her fingers twitching against mine where they’re laced together, her body arching to offer better access.
I close my teeth on the swell of muscle where her neck and shoulder meet, pinning her, marking her as I thrust again and again. I take everything she offers, sheathing my cock balls-deep, while she moan and pumps her hips to meet every thrust.
My orgasm builds, my whole body tightening with need.
I rear back and stare down at her, my goddess.
Her back arches. Her head extends, baring the delicate column of her neck. And then she comes again, her whole body growing taut as she tips over the edge. I let go, my own orgasm crashing through me.
I don’t know how long we stay like that, Sabina stretched out beneath me, our skin slick with sweat, our hearts pounding in tandem.
And then she laughs, her whole body shaking beneath me.
I rear back and stare down at her. Tears trickle from the corners of her eyes, along her temples, into her hairline. And she’s laughing. Laughing . Until she stops, her gaze locking with mine.
“Thank you,” she whispers. “I never thought—” She shakes her head “I never knew—” Again, she shakes her head. “You really do fuck like a stallion.”