15 #2
I won’t, though. I can’t. Maybe I can’t be good for Rowan, but I will not do to Rowan what his ex did. Still, I’m not above taking the guy out. Especially if there’s any chance of Rowan going back. I’ve seen that go wrong too many times.
If Rowan’s quiet laugh sounds almost fond, that’s surely my imagination.
“I know I’m not supposed to think so, but that’s a weirdly sweet gesture.
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t had thoughts about getting back at Tucker for the way he treated me from time to time.
I realize now our relationship wasn’t healthy.
He’s got a family though. Wife and kids. Probably wouldn’t be fair to them.”
“Mmm. I’ll hold off for now if you want.” I pop the button on his pants and slide my hand inside. There’s music playing softly from some hidden speaker somewhere, but I can still make out his surprised gasp.
My tongue slips out, tasting the salt on his neck. My teeth graze the lobe of his ear. “Maybe we could talk about something different now. Or stop talking altogether.”
“Y-yeah. That’s good.”
Whether he’s agreeing with me or whether his breathy “That’s good” is because I’ve got my hand on his dick, who knows? I’ll take either reason.
I nod toward the scene in front of us. “Watch them. Tell me what you like.”
“Mmm.” Rowan’s eyes have fallen shut. I nudge him so he’ll open them back up.
“I can tell the one in the dark suit is in charge. He and the guy with the collar look like they probably have a relationship. The way he cups the other one’s face and looks at him like he’s precious, I like that.”
My heart twists. Rowan deserves to know he’s precious. Someday someone will tell him.
“What else?”
“Um.”
I pull Rowan farther into the shadows. Were the man at the window to turn around, he might see us, but not exactly what I’m doing. I continue stroking gently. “Tell me.”
He glances around. “Will we get in trouble for doing this here?”
“Do you remember what was going on when we came in on the main floor? The man getting spanked on stage? That woman wearing nothing but heels while getting flogged?”
He breathes a raspy, husky, lust-drunk laugh.
“Right.” He falls quiet except for the harsh, rapid panting that tells me he’s as into this as I am.
“I like…the way they’re tying him up. The way his chest is moving so fast, like hummingbird wings.
He’s so turned on. I like that. I don’t know if I want to be tied up again.
Unless it’s with someone I trust. But I enjoy seeing other people turned on by it, I think. ”
Sliding to the side, I take in Rowan’s expression. His wet, parted lips and slack jaw. His hooded lids. “I like it too,” I whisper.
I like you.
On the other side of the glass, they’re laying the younger man on a bench, and the one who appears to be his partner is undoing his slacks. The other two are holding up his legs.
“Do you like that one of them is naked while the rest are clothed?”
“Yeah, that’s… Strangely, yeah. It’s weirdly hot.”
“I agree. Would you like to do this sometime?”
“I—oh fuck.” His knees buckle, and I wrap my arms around his middle to make sure he doesn’t fall.
He moans so loud the man in the chair turns around. Rowan’s got his eyes squeezed shut, coming into my hand in hard pulses.
“Guess that’s a yes.” I chuckle before wishing I’d kept my mouth shut. “Sometime” is a word that implies the future.
For now I choose to focus on the present as Rowan drops to his knees, looking up at me with gorgeous wide eyes. The little bit of light in the hall makes them glow, looking almost liquid. I nod in answer to his silent question, threading my fingers into his red hair as he reaches for my zipper.
“You don’t have to.” The longer this goes on, the less I like to think about the transactional nature of it all.
That’s my world, though. Everything is a transaction. Probably Rowan’s too.
“You made me feel good. I want to make you feel good.”
Okay. Fuck. Maybe it’s only talk, but I want to believe him. Even if this thing between us can’t last, I’d like for it not to be an obligation.
“We’ve got an audience, baby,” I warn him. The man in the chair is still watching us.
“I’ll try to make it good, then,” he whispers.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Of all the fucking times. “Shit. Hang on.”
Rowan stands, looking uncertain.
“This better be important.”
“Well howdy to you, friend,” Jalen drawls. “Am I interrupting something?”
“Yes. Yes you are. What do you want?”
“Thought you’d want to know Brennan’s guy tracked down the person you’re looking for, and you’re in luck. He’s in town. Hiding out in a seedy motel in the East End, which is shady behavior for a guy with that kind of money, but you know how it goes.”
“Probably waiting to make sure the job is done and doesn’t want to be noticed. Send the information to my phone. I’ll take care of it.” I wince as I’m about to hang up, returning the phone to my ear. “Oh, and Jalen? Thanks. I owe you.”
“Fucking right you do. Don’t think I won’t remember.”
I hang up and meet Rowan’s curious gaze as acid swirls inside me. “Good news.” I barely manage the words as I tuck myself back into my pants. I’ve been elbow deep in a man’s guts before and never felt as sick as I do now.
For a beat, I consider not saying the rest at all. In the end though, it’s for the best. “You’re going to go home soon.”