Chapter 8 Mischa #3
Kane looks at my hand then my face, and gives me another hard look before he shakes my hand, and my superpower goes off hard.
So hard, my eyeballs tremor, and I gasp.
It could be mistaken for divine intervention.
The moments flash in my mind like strobe lights.
Glances. Movements. Frowns. A blink. A kiss. Smiles.
“Oh shit,” Kane says. “Are you okay?”
I look at the two of them, and compare it to the montage in my mind.
My mouth drops open. I can see the slight-of-hand now.
I put the pieces together fast. They aren’t together.
They almost fooled me. That kiss in the elevator was their first. Kane gave the game away with his face.
Calling Austen “Baby” was planned; a performance for my benefit.
Motherfuckers. Their phone call rammed it home.
I believed all of it because they do love each other.
They’re just not in love. Scratch that; Kane is a little in love with Austen, and Austen tolerates it quietly.
Something deep happened recently… I’d wager they dropped molly together, and they grew molly-levels of closeness, but they’ve never fucked.
And they never will. Not sure how William fits in this picture, but it’s something to do with not letting anyone near Austen.
Kane included. Austen also truly loves me.
Probably. I might have just started something between him and Kane. Ugh.
If Austen’s going to fight this hard then I have to work harder. I can’t call their bluff right to their faces, but I can work with it.
“It’s just stress,” I explain. “I just don’t think it’s fair.”
They look at each other apprehensively.
“What?” Kane frowns.
I look at Austen. “You don’t have to be happy with me, but you do have to be happy.”
“Huh?” he frowns.
“Don’t marry someone you’re not in love with. Stay with Kane. Be comfortable in your own skin.”
They look at each other and think about it. Kane raises his eyes to Austen, like I have a point.
Austen smiles and looks away. “That’s not your concern.”
I should drop the issue, so I don’t risk really throwing Austen into the path of the hot gay bodyguard, another “straight” man who’s half in love with him already.
“Better than some dumb girl at least,” I sigh. “Alright, see ya, I guess.”
“Do you want to get a drink?” Austen asks, walking after me, and Kane follows up the stairs.
“What?”
“If you wanted, just for tonight?”
Kane looks at Austen, shakes his head, and mutters, “Should I slap you?”
“William and I have to be guarded,” Austen explains. “We’ve had some difficulties, and Billy has become a little paranoid lately. You wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be kind to me today if he was here. It’s Christmas…”
“It’s a full moon,” I add.
“That too. Now that you know I’m not the one, I’ll give you this evening to just… get to know us for real? The drinking age here is eighteen, and we’re heading to one of the rooftop bars later, if you’d like to join us?”
An alarm goes off in my head, and I feel a sudden panic.
“Absolutely, but I’m supposed to meet Max for dinner,” I say. “We’re going to Stalactites.”
Shit. Shouldn’t have said that. Austen’s smile disappears. The opening closes shut.
“Never mind,” he says. “See you later Mischa—and thanks for showing me the way out.”
He moves to the gallery entrance, and I grab his arm. He turns and I grab his other hand too.
“Come with us,” I say. “It’s not far.”
“Thanks,” he says, “but I don’t want to meet your boyfriend for a romantic dinner.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“And I’m not either.”
“Tomorrow?”
“William’s in bed with a headache today. He might not be tomorrow.”
I frown. “So?”
“So… I don’t want to watch him kill you.”
“But I really want to spend more time with you…”
“No, it was just a passing idea, and now you’ll probably try to get it in with Kane too.”
Austen really hates pressure.
“No I’m not interested in that… but you two are right under Will’s nose… I kind of want to see how you do it.”
That didn’t help.
“What? No… my brother’s not my jailer.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Mischa, don’t misinterpret this. I’m not leaving some window open.
I don’t like you. I hate you. I hate the whole situation in a way you can't even believe. You’ve been a total fucking creep, and I’m just trying to be polite.
I was only offering because you might finally be moving on.
My life,” he spits with disgust, “such as it is, is fine without you. I’m being friendly because this trip is important to me, and I don’t want you to ruin it. ”
“I’m not going to...”
“Yes, you will. You already have been since the beginning. And if it goes wrong I don’t know what I’ll do, but probably something very rash and unfortunate.”
I search his face. “Are you serious?”
Kane is suddenly very concerned, so I guess this isn't an idle threat.
“Please leave me alone,” Austen says with his mouth, but his face and body are saying a lot of conflicting things.
Austen carefully pulls his arm away, and lets go of my other hand, and takes off down the steps with Kane.
I watch them go, and then run off in the other direction up to the Greek eatery a block away.
It is not even six o’clock, but the place is already packed.
I head upstairs to the bathrooms and Maxim is waiting, and as pale as a sheet.
“Late,” he says. “You missed it.”
“Go okay?” I ask.
Maxim nods. “I… I really need a drink.”
“Maybe we could check out some of the rooftop bars?”
I visit almost every bar in the city, but can’t find Austen again.
The phrase, “My life... Such as it is... such as it is... such as it is...” rattles round my head for days.