Chapter 15 - Silas
Silas sat in his office, looking at the pile of books that he had purchased for Elle. That familiar burden of guilt rested on his shoulders.
She thought he was flirting with Meredith. She looked at him with so much hurt before covering it with indifference. And although they had cleared it up and kissed, Silas could not get rid of the realization that he had earned that distrust.
All the mean things that he had said to her when she was younger. Each time he had laughed when the others made fun of her. Every time he made her feel small and worthless had laid the groundwork for Elle to expect him to hurt her.
Naturally, she had imagined the worst when she saw a woman flirting with him. Why wouldn't she? Silas had never given her a reason to believe that he would be faithful, or even loyal.
But since she got here, he had been trying to make up for it.
He wanted to show her that he wasn’t the same person he was all those years ago.
But it was going to be a long time before those years of pain would be erased, and Silas was beginning to wonder whether he could ever find the time to win Elle over.
A knock on the door dragged him out of his thoughts.
“Come in,” Silas called.
The door creaked open, and Elle walked in. “Do you have a minute?”
“For you? Always.” Silas pointed to the chair in front of his desk. “What's on your mind?”
Elle took a seat. “I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?”
“For yesterday. About the whole Meredith thing. To be honest, ever since you brought me back here, you've been making an effort, and I've been pushing you away.”
“I took away your choices. It is entirely understandable to get angry with me.”
“Maybe. But you have been trying to make things right, and I have not yet admitted that. I know you did not flirt with that lady, and I'm sorry I reacted that way.”
Silas's chest tightened. “You have nothing to apologize to me for, Elle. If anything, I owe you one. For everything.”
“You’ve already apologized enough.”
“And I will continue to apologize until you believe I mean it.”
A faint smile formed on her face. “I believe you mean it. I just do not know whether I am
ready to forgive you yet.”
“That's fair.”
After a moment of silence, Elle asked, “Is it possible to try something new? Rather than me being angry and you being... guilty all the time, can we just...work together?”
“I'd like that.”
“Good.” Elle stood and walked around the desk, looking at the pile of books. “Are these the ones you bought?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t tell which ones would be the most useful, so I purchased all that the shop had to offer in the area of witchcraft, developing magic, and vision magic specifically.”
Elle grabbed the first book, rubbing her fingers over the cover. “‘The Witch's Guide to Unlocking Inner Power’. Sounds promising.”
“Would you like me to go over them with you?” Silas asked. “I can help you research. Two pairs of eyes are superior to one.”
“I'd like that.”
They went over to the sitting area in the office and placed the books on the coffee table. Elle sat down on the couch with one book and Silas in the armchair with another.
“Listen to this. Vision magic is one of the most secret forms of witchcraft since it demands a witch to live between worlds—between past and present, between physical and spiritual worlds.”
“Does it say how to control it?” Silas asked.
“It says...” Elle scanned the page. “Most vision witches require an anchor. Something to bring them here and now, even as their mind slips away to see other eras and other places.”
“An anchor like what?”
“It doesn't specify. It states, however, that the anchor has typically been a person or thing with a lot of emotional charge to the witch.” Elle glanced at Silas. “Something that holds them to the here and now. Have any idea what that means?”
The mate bond crossed Silas's mind. Could that be Elle's anchor? The attachment that bound them, that made her need his company when they were not with each other?
But he did not say it out loud. Elle was already skittish with the bond. Pushing her would only cause her to withdraw.
“I don't know,” Silas said instead. “Keep reading. Maybe there is more information ahead of us.”
They spent the rest of the time reading in comfortable silence.
But every now and then, they read passages aloud to one another from a book they were reading.
Silas couldn't stop stealing glances at Elle, though.
Like the way she nibbled on her lip when she was focused, the way she pulled her hair behind her ear when it hovered over her face.
She was beautiful. Had always been beautiful, even when they were younger.
“What are you staring at?” Elle asked with her eyes on her book.
“You.”
Her cheeks flushed. “Well, stop it. It's distracting.”
“Can't help it. You're distracting.”
Elle threw a pillow at him. Silas caught it with a grin.
“Pay attention. We're supposed to be researching.”
“I am focused. Just not on the books.”
Elle scowled. “You're impossible.”
“You like it.”
“I tolerate it.”
They went back to reading, and an hour later, Elle put down her book and stretched. Her shirt rose up, revealing a patch of smooth skin. Silas quickly looked away before his wolf could get ideas.
“I need a break,” Elle announced. “My brain is full.”
“Want something to eat?”
“Always.”
They made their way to the kitchen, where Silas made them tomato sandwiches and some fruit.
Elle was sitting on the counter as he worked, swaying her legs like a kid.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Why did you buy me those books? I mean, you said you did it because you wanted to help with my magic, but….” Elle trailed off.
“But?” Silas prompted.
“But you could have simply left me to do it myself. I did not need you to spend your time and money to buy me those books.”
Silas laid aside the knife he had been using to peel the fruit.
“I bought them because I want to help you. Owing to the fact that I know how frustrated you are with your magic, and I can feel how disappointed and guilty you feel through the bond every time that you have a vision that does not give us useful information.”
Elle looked down at her hands. “The bond.”
“Yeah. It goes both ways, Elle. I feel what you feel. Your sufferings, your desperation, your fear. All of it.” Silas stepped closer. “And I want to make it better. I want to help you manifest your power.”
“You believe in my power?”
“I have an ungodly amount of faith in you.” Silas pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “What you have been through would break anyone. If anybody can get a hang of this power, it's you.”
Elle sniffed, her eyes bright. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For believing in me. Even when I do not believe in myself sometimes.”
Silas wanted to kiss her, pull her into his arms, and show her the extent of how much he believed in her and how much he admired her strength and resilience.
Instead, however, he settled for pushing her hair behind her ears. “Always, Elle. I'll always believe in you.”
They finished their sandwiches and moved into the office again, plunging back into the research with renewed zeal.
Later that afternoon, they found a rhythm.
Elle would read the passages aloud, and Silas would make notes or reference facts elsewhere.
If one of them was stuck, the other would provide a new point of view.
“Here,” Silas pointed to a passage in the book which he was reading. Vision witches nearly always have problems with their powers when they are fighting against their nature.”
“What does that mean?”
“It implies that their powers are also related to the emotional state of the witch and the way they accept who they are. When you're resisting your power, it will not act the way it should.”
Elle frowned. “But I'm not resisting it. I want it to work.”
“Wanting it to work isn't the same as accepting it.” Silas set down the book. “You want your visions to show you the future, to give you actionable intelligence. But your power is showing you the past. Maybe instead of fighting that, you need to accept it and figure out why.”
“But why would my powers only show the past?”
“I don't know. But maybe there's a reason. Could it be that the past has something that we've been missing?”
Elle took some time to answer the question with a thoughtful look on her face. “You might be right.”
“I'm always right.”
Elle hit him with another pillow. “Don't push it.”
Even when the sun went down, they continued to work without disrupting the serene bubble that they had created. Silas got dinner delivered by a local restaurant, and they debated on the theories of how Elle's power might work.
“But what about the visions? They are not random.” Elle mused after swallowing a bite of Chinese rice. “What if there is a pattern I am not seeing?”
“What kind of pattern?”
“I don't know. But all my visions have presented me with a victim being harmed. Particularly, women being abused by their buyers after the auction.” Elle set down her fork. “Am I supposed to find something there? Like the location or choice of victims?”
Silas leaned forward. “That's brilliant.”
“It's just a theory.”
“It's a good theory. We have been so focused on finding the next auction, but have not considered following the buyers instead.” Silas brought out his laptop and opened the case file.
“We may be able to track them to the traffickers, if the visions you have can provide us with the names of particular buyers and the whereabouts of their victims.”
Elle's eyes lit up. “You really think that could work?”
“I think it's worth trying.”
They worked late into the night and matched the descriptions that Elle gave with the data that they already had on the known buyers.
Gradually, a picture was coming into view.
The trends in the distribution of buyers and their locations, their patterns in taking the victim, their movement in the shifter world.
“Look at this,” Elle pointed at the map which Silas had marked up. “Three of the buyers that I saw in my visions are located within the same region. Suppose that is the head office of the operation?”
“Or where they are getting buyers at least.” Silas made a note. “This is good, Elle. Really good.”
Elle smiled, and a warmness spread through Silas. This was what he wanted to see—Elle, confident and proud of her contributions, no longer punishing herself on account of having powers that failed to perform in the way she believed they should.
“We make a good team,” Elle said to herself.
“Yeah,” Silas agreed. “We do.”
Elle cleared her throat and got up. “It is late. I think we should get some sleep.”
“Yeah. Probably.”
“Thank you,” Elle said. “For today. For the books, the research, believing in me. It means more than you know.”
“You don't have to thank me.”
“I want to.”
Elle leaned down and kissed Silas on the forehead. It was unexpected but loving and kind. And it had his wolf rumbling with satisfaction.
“Goodnight, Silas.”
“Goodnight, Elle.”
Silas watched her walk away and slowly touched where she had just kissed him. Something changed between them today. The wall had broken, and a bridge had been built.
Silas hoped one day he'd finally be able to completely win her trust. But for now, he'd continue to show her that he had changed.
He went back to the books and read late into the night, making notes about the methods Elle could use to manage her visions. Despite the new information they had gotten today, Silas knew that Elle would not stop until she could fully understand her power.
And Silas would give anything in his power to help her get there. Not because his pack needed it or the entire investigation was relying on it.
But because Elle had a right to feel strong, competent, and the master of her own talents.
And if he needed to move mountains to do that? Silas would do it without a second thought, even if it cost him the rest of his life.