CHAPTER SEVEN — STEPHANIE
I wake up the next day with the hangover from hell. Unfortunately, it's also my cleaning day. Did I do this to myself on purpose? I'm starting to think I'm sabotaging myself subconsciously. Or is there a different term for it if it's subconscious? Defense mechanism, maybe?
Either way, I'm making bad choices. That much is clear.
"You're late," he says by way of greeting, a second after opening the door.
I just frown at him.
"You look like death," he says.
"Thanks," I mutter.
"I'd be a bit nicer to me if I were you. Don't think I forgot about last night."
"Last night?"
He raises his eyebrows.
"Do you not remember?"
I rack my brain, trying to think. It was all a blur.
"Did you really get that drunk?" he asks me.
His eyes narrow. He looks somewhat concerned now, a bit angry, but also concerned.
"Oh, no," I say, shaking my head.
Now I feel embarrassed.
"Tell me, then," he says. "Tell me why I would be angry."
"Um—"
I try and think.
"So what did we do? We watched Sleepover, and then truth or dare. Okay, it was something to do with truth or dare."
I start thinking.
"M—"
But where my memory should be, it's a complete blank spot. I come up with my best guess.
"Streaking?" I blurt out.
He looks at me and frowns.
"I'm worried about you, Stephanie," he says. "That level of drinking, it's dangerous for a girl your age. Do you know what kind of situations you could get in? Men will take advantage of you. Not to mention it's bad for your health."
"You're not my dad," I mutter.
"Oh, but you wish I was, don't you?" he asks, smirking.
I feel a hot flush. I didn't mean anything by that comment, but he is kind of right.
I've been trying to forget about all the things that have happened between David and me, because every time I do, a mix of shame and lust hits me, and then I feel ashamed by the lust, which turns me on and then increases the shame. It's a vicious cycle.
Then out of nowhere, it hits me. I remember that last night David turned me down and it was humiliating. I can't remember details, but based on how bad I feel right now, I don't think I want to. I desperately want to evict all memories from last night out of my brain.
"No," I lie.
"Liar," he says. "Are you forgetting the little video you texted me, too?"
My stomach drops. Oh, fuck. I vaguely remember being rejected in some way, but I don't remember specifics. What did I text him?
I pull out my phone and open it. I check my texts with David. The last message between us is a text from me that says, "Truth or dare. This is what I want you to do to me." And above that, there's a video.
Oh, no.
I regret pressing the play button before my thumb even hits the screen.
Within seconds, loud moans assault my eardrums. I try to turn the video off, but for some reason, I can't find the button.
Her moans seem like the loudest thing I've ever heard as I scramble to mute them.
If anything, it seems like they get louder.
I look up at David, and he's laughing. I feel so small.
"Is that what you've been fantasizing about, Stephanie?" he asks me. "Getting tied down and fucked like a good little slut?"
"Um, no."
I step back and start to lose my balance.
He grabs me and pulls me to him. He pulls me so close that I can smell the peppermint on his breath.
"New rule," he says. "No lying. Got it?"
I nod.
In his arms, I'm again reminded of how big he is, probably a foot taller than me.
His arms are sturdy and strong, and I feel his sheer power relative to me.
He could snap me like a twig if he wanted.
I'm suddenly conscious of the way I'm breathing, that I'm making too much noise.
I hold my breath, looking at him, examining his pale blue eyes.
His jaw twitches. I think about his lips on mine, his hands in my hair, around my neck, and I feel a flutter in my stomach.
"Trust me, Stephanie, I want that too," he growls.
He dips his mouth to my ear and lightly grazes his teeth on my earlobe. I feel a shiver run through my entire body.
"But first, we need to address your behavior last night: how dangerously drunk you got. That can't keep happening. Understood?"
I nod.
"Use your words, Stephanie."
"Yes," I squeak.
"Good girl," he says.
Embarrassment bubbles in my stomach as I turn redder.
"Now, I promise I will make your fantasy come true if you are a good girl, but you have to earn that. When you sent me that video last night, I don't know if you realize this, but you sent me a screenshot as well."
I look at my phone. He's right. I did.
"Your username was right there in the corner of it. Took me about ten seconds to find your profile."
Oh my God. My stomach sinks. Why did I ever sign up?
I'm suddenly regretting everything. Like an idiot, I created an account on the porn website I watch most frequently so that I didn't have to watch ads, and I saved some videos to my profile, and for some reason didn't make it private.
I mean, I do know the reason: it's because it's anonymous.
I think my username is something like Red Chipmunk.
Fuck.
Honestly, though, somebody finding that feels like the most personal thing possible, even more personal than somebody finding my diary.
I mean, maybe that sounds weird to say, seeing as I sent David that video, but I chose to show him that.
What I didn't choose to show him was all the other videos: the more depraved things, the things I'm really embarrassed about.
But now he's seen them, because not only are all my favorite videos visible, but I'm pretty sure my history is too.
I can't take this. This is too much for me.
I spin to leave, but he reaches down and grabs my hip.
"You're not going anywhere," he says.
His hand squeezes my waist, and sparks shoot through me.
"What do you think I found, Stephanie?"
I swallow. I'm suddenly aware of how big my tongue feels in my mouth. It feels awkward and clumsy. Like a foreign object.
"A lot," I say quietly.
"That's right," he says, looking at me.
I feel hypnotized by his eyes. I can't bear to look at him, but I also can't bear to look away.
"You know what I found particularly interesting," he says. "This video."
He pulls out his phone and clicks, and then shows me the screen. My breath hitches. Fuck. This is what I suspected.
In the video, there's a blindfolded girl kneeling. There are five men seated in chairs around her. One of them gets up and walks towards her and undoes his pants.
"Open," he says.
She opens her mouth and he shoves his cock in. She starts sucking diligently and he moans. The video goes on like this, with all of the men coming in her mouth. I have many videos like this on my profile, variations of a girl being shared by multiple men in some way.
"Why do you think I'm showing you this, Stephanie?" David asks after pausing the video.
I look at him. I'm petrified and alive.
"I don't know," I say.
"What if I told you that I invited one of my friends over? That bouncer you saw last week at the bar. He'll be here in ten minutes. Does that give you any guesses?"
Oh my God.
I feel a tingle between my legs. It was the bouncer who saw David spanking me and didn't do anything. The bouncer at what I'm pretty sure was some kind of biker bar. I remember David saying, "Nobody here cares. They've all seen much worse."
Oh, fuck.
I try to remember him and what he looked like.
I remember his tattoos most of all. I think he was bald, too, and muscular.
My overall impression of him was that he looked scary and mean, although maybe that was because of his behavior as well.
I remember how he saw David spanking me and walked away. Bastard.
"Take a guess, Stephanie," he says.
He grabs my hair in a ponytail and yanks. I inhale sharply and rise on my tiptoes.
"He's coming over to do that?" I say, my voice dropping to a whisper.
"Mm-hmm," David says. "I'll show you what I texted him."
David pulls out his phone and hands it to me. I look at the text messages.
David: I need some help.
Rod: What's up?
So the bouncer's name is Rod.
David: Remember that girl I brought by last week?
Rod: The chick you were spanking outside? She was hot.
Rod: I remember her. Why?
David: Well, she needs some serious discipline. I could use your help.
Rod: Fuck yeah. Are you serious?
David: 100%. I just need to check some things first, but I'll let you know if it's a go.
Rod: I'm in the area. Do you want me to come over? Either way, we can just catch up.
David: Sounds good. Do you want to bring a friend, by the way?
Rod: Yeah.
I check the timestamps.
"So," David asks, looking at me. "What do you say? Do you think you need a little discipline?"
For once, David is asking me. Not telling me.
Until now, he's kind of pushed me. I mean, I've been into everything he's done, but he's pushed past some of my surface resistance, which is exactly what I was craving.
But this is the first time he's explicitly asking me, probably because this is such an escalation.
If I say yes to this, things will forever be different. This is crazy.
I know I should say no, but the rebel in me just can't help it. The thought of giving this stranger a blowjob is terrifying, but also really hot. I know what I'm going to say before the words come out of my mouth, but still, they surprise me when I hear them.
"Yes," I say slowly. "I think I do."
The End